


He Who Is King

by KrystalM



Series: The King & Prince [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arthur Pendragon Is King, Domestic Fluff, Ealdor, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Humor, Happy Ending, Light-Hearted, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mystery, Past Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Prince Merlin, Uther is evil, dead uther
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-27 02:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 102,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9946079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrystalM/pseuds/KrystalM
Summary: During Uther's reign, he had banned magic in Camelot and started a war with Ealdor, the only kingdom in the Five Lands that practises magic as its heart, causing years of animosity between the two kingdoms. Now, Arthur who have been crowned King after Uther's death is on a mission to reverse what his father has done: bring back peace between Ealdor and Camelot and integrate the use of magic back into Camelot.And that starts with forming the strongest diplomatic bond that can ever be created between two kingdoms, a marriage bond between the King of Camelot, Arthur Pendragon and the Prince and future King of Ealdor, Merlin Emrys.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: HI! So, I've been reading way to much royal-arranged-marriage stories, and decided to try my hands on one. I, of course, decided to take the not-so-angsty path down the road, so I hope you guys will like this 90% mostly fluffy story. To those who have read my stories before, you know I like angst...writing angst way too much, so this is a change of style and pace for me. It's not going to be a long story, probably at best 5-8 chapters at most. Long chapters, though! 
> 
> I hope you guys like it and--well, let me know what you guys thought! See ya! :D -Krystal

 

 

Arthur stared at the court members, nodding to their suggestions, keeping a sharp ear for any ideas that could reach his goal on smoothing the wrinkles between Camelot and Ealdor. 

“My King,” one of them spoke. “You know that Ealdor is now rising once again after the war.”

Arthur nodded and waved his hand, asking him to continue. 

The man nodded though he looked nervous. 

“I would propose you to announce a treaty with Ealdor,” the man said in a rush. Arthur raised his eyebrows and the other members started to murmur. 

“A treaty?” Arthur asked after a while. “I have tried that before, remember? The Queen refuses to hear me out.”

“Yes, well, I’m proposing a different type of treaty, sire,” the man said and Arthur raised his eyebrows before he waved his hand again, asking him to continue. 

The man nodded. 

“Your father,” the man began. “He had every right to outlaw magic. We understand why he did it, and it brought us a lot of safety to this lands. However, as much as there was good in what Uther had done, there was also a lot of backlash—a lot of unfairness in the judgement.”

Arthur nodded, knowing what the man said was true. 

During his father’s ruling, those who were even suspicious of practising magic were executed. No mercy was given to magic practitioners. They were considered below everyone and were deemed worse than pests. Uther’s intense hatred for magic had even caused a war between Camelot and Ealdor. 

Ealdor, the only kingdom in the Five Lands that practised magic to the fullest and was the heart of their kingdom. Something that Uther despised about Ealdor and always looked for an opportunity to overthrow the kingdom from their title as one of the Five Lands. 

Uther had not succeeded, but he had succeeded on causing a lot of bloodshed and animosity that lasted years between Camelot and Ealdor. Now that Uther was no longer King, long passed away and Arthur had taken over two years ago, he had decided to change his father’s rulings, change what must be changed. 

It hadn’t been easy, especially when the damage had been done and Ealdor refused to even see Arthur more than an enemy. At this rate, Arthur was afraid another war might break out thanks to his now dead-father. 

Because of his selfishness, it had ruined a bridge that couldn’t be fixed. 

At least, Arthur saw it that way. 

“And also Ealdor doesn’t seem to favour our attention,” the man continued, sounding a bit more confident. “And I propose we—give them a more solid treaty. Make a trust bond between them that doesn’t just involve words. Change our views, change the discrimination that Uther had enlisted in this kingdom. As the most powerful kingdom in the Five Lands, we must support equality—in everything.”

“You’re mad!” one of the court members yelled at the man. “Uther was right to cut the pests into pieces! He was right to defeat Ealdor. We do not need unnatural deities here.”

“That might be true,” the man said. “To some people with closed-minded perspectives or skewed sense of morals. But even you cannot deny that we now hold a large amount of power. We need to lead, we were made to lead and be made an example of. We cannot encourage—this abomination.”

“Are you saying Uther was wrong, then?” the man that objected before sneered. “Are you claiming that Uther had wrong morals? Is that what you’re saying?”

The man shook his head. “I’m saying, that it’s time to change. Whether we want it or not, it’s not enough for us to just use power. It’s not enough to just say we want peace. We need to use the power we have for good. Not just—for own reasons.” The man eyed Arthur pointedly. 

Arthur knew what he meant and he took no offence. He nodded at the man. The man relaxed a bit at the gesture and looked back at the rest of the court members. 

“Unbelievable! Tell me, my King. Surely you don’t agree with this…nonsense!” the other man said as he slammed his hand on the table. 

Arthur took in a deep breath and sat straighter, finally deciding to give his own opinions on this matter. 

“To be honest,” he started. “I agree with Cecil.”

Cecil, the man who had suggested to move forward and forget about outlawing of magic, smiled. 

“You cannot be serious!”

“Fredrik,” Arthur said. “I am completely serious. I think Cecil is right. My father’s motives for outlawing magic and picking on Ealdor has always bothered me. The reason why he did this…surely you all must know. My mother died because of magic, because I was conceived through magic—and the magic needs a soul for a soul to work. It was how it was, it was nobody’s fault. Certainly not the one who casted the magic’s fault. He knew the consequences. He chose to do it anyway.

Albeit for the right reasons, he still lost the woman he loved. The woman who was my mother. And he took it out on everything else but himself. It was nobody’s fault. It’s just the way it was and it took me a while to even understand that, to be honest. Uther was—is wrong.”

The court members quietened down after Arthur’s speech. 

After a few minutes of silence, Cecil said, “We must change how we think. And my King…I propose a treaty that will tie two kingdoms in the most diplomatic way possible.”

“Surely you wouldn’t suggest…,” Fredrik spoke. 

Cecil nodded. 

“I’m talking about marriage,” Cecil finally said. Arthur raised his eyebrows. “I’m talking about marrying their only heir.”

“You mean the boy, Merlin Emrys?” Gordon spoke. 

Arthur recognised that name. Merlin Emrys was the only heir, the only child of the current Queen of Ealdor, Queen Hunith. He didn’t know how the boy looked, only from the rumours about him, saying he was the next powerful sorcerer, thanks to his father who was previously the most powerful sorcerer himself before he died in the war. Arthur frowned, he didn’t even know much about the boy, though. 

“Isn’t he a bit too young?” Arthur asked. “He’s seventeen, wasn’t he?”

“He’s twenty, my Lord,” Cecil said with an amused smile. 

Arthur blinked at that and hummed. “Look, I don’t see how we’re going to propose this idea to them when they won’t even spare a minute to talk to us before. They might as well kill us on sight if we decided to meet with them against their will.”

“That may be true,” Cecil said. “But if we can invite her over here instead and talk over about this treaty, we might be able to appeal to the queen.”

Arthur licked his lips as he contemplated the option before he nodded. He knew that Cecil was right. Arthur didn’t particularly care as long as they fixed this broken mess before it escalated. Camelot needed to be reformed, modernised, and to do that, he had to start with the banning of magic. He had to remove it, and integrate it to the society. 

He wanted to rule Camelot in a way that it was deemed worthy by its opponents and allies. 

It was time to bring Camelot to the Golden Age. 

And if it meant marrying the boy, Arthur would do it. He had long learned to put the kingdom first before himself and that was what he wanted to do. It was the right thing to do.

“I’ll write to Queen Hunith,” Arthur said. 

“You’ll marry Prince Merlin then, if the Queen agrees?” Vincent asked. 

Arthur nodded. “Yes,” he said. “As the King, I’ll do anything to fix the burned bridges between the two of us, even if it means marrying him.”

The other members of the court nodded, though some still looked unpleased with the decision. Cecil then stood up, announcing that the meeting was over and Arthur had gotten up as well, walking out of the room to write the letter, hoping that the Queen wouldn’t tear up the letter the minute she realised it was from Camelot.

 

***

 

Merlin stared at his mother, and then to the letter in her hands. 

“King Arthur of Camelot,” Merlin began. “Wants to meet us? As in the both of us?”

Hunith nodded as she bit her lips. “Unlike the previous letters, King Arthur has suggested an alliance…a treaty of some sorts that isn’t like the previous ones and he would like to discuss it in person as soon as possible.”

Merlin sighed and leaned against his chair, fingers drumming on the table. 

“Why?” Merlin asked. “Why would he suddenly want peace with us when all these years, they have been nothing but downright hostile?”

“That was during Uther’s ruling, my dear,” she said before she waved at the letter. “King Arthur is quite different from what I heard. Ever since he became King, he had been trying to get in contact with me, trying to end this hostility between us.”

“And you’re going to just agree to this?” Merlin asked even though he knew what his mother was trying to say. “They caused the death of our King.”

“Uther caused the death of your father,” Hunith corrected him. “And I am happy Uther is dead. But I have grown weary, my son, with the war. I see no reason to fight if we can make peace. King Arthur is different from his father. He refuses to leave me alone until he finds peace between our kingdoms. Surely that says something about his character.”

“Still the son of a magic-hater, mum,” Merlin retorted. “Surely he must’ve been nurtured in the evils of magic if he’s Uther’s son.”

“I suppose,” Hunith said. “But if he did hate magic, he would’ve continued the war his father had led instead of ending it the minute he became King. In fact, he wouldn’t have tried to send help to rebuild our kingdom, son.”

“I don’t trust him,” Merlin said bluntly. “I don’t trust the Pendragons. They’re all deceitful so far, what makes Arthur any different?”

“Could be so, but shouldn’t we at least give a chance to hear his conditions and intentions out?” Hunith continued. “Shouldn’t we be a better example and listen to him?”

Merlin bit his inner cheek and leaned forward, hands on the table. “Why did he want to meet me though?”

“Maybe it’s for respect and he recognises you as the future-King of Ealdor.” Hunith’s eyes sparkled in pride and Merlin couldn’t help but to smile. 

“When do we leave?” Merlin asked. 

Hunith looked at the letter for a minute. “I need to tell the council members about this. We shall discuss on a date and we’ll leave to Camelot after we notify the King.”

“We’ll bring Gaius?” Merlin asked. 

“Of course, he’s our most-trusted counsellor,” Hunith said with a laugh. 

Merlin still refused to believe that King Arthur would want peace with a magic-friendly kingdom. There was too much animosity between the two kingdoms for an easy treaty to be achieved. He worried for their safety too. What if the King was playing a trick and decided to lure them into enemy territory with blind trust and then strike them there?

Merlin shook away the thoughts as he took in a deep breath. He looked at his fingers and felt the magic sparkle underneath his skin. If Arthur so much looked intimidating, Merlin wouldn’t hesitate to hurt him. 

Camelot was a cruel kingdom and Merlin refused to think that it would change its ideal just because a Pendragon decided to be good for once.

 

***

 

When they arrived at Camelot, they were surprised with the amount of acceptance they received as they walked into the castle. Cecil, the head court member, was talking animatedly to Hunith while also giving Merlin the same attention. 

Merlin was still wary of them, of this place, but he suppose there was some truth in this peace treaty after all since they weren’t blown to pieces the minute they set foot in the castle. After Hunith and Merlin were shown to their rooms where they would stay overnight, they went to the court room to discuss the treaty. 

King Arthur had met them outside of the doors, asking about their arrival and what not before his blue eyes landed on Merlin’s. Merlin froze when he looked at the King of Camelot. 

The blue eyes were bright, nothing like his own blue ones that seemed icy. The set of blue eyes before Merlin were like the sky, were like the sea on a bright sunny day. It was beautiful and Merlin felt his cheeks reddening the longer he stared at the King. Even his hair, the blond locks, looked like it had come from the sun itself. 

Arthur was handsome, with his broad shoulders and an appropriate height to Merlin’s. Compared to the prince, Arthur radiated power and yet, at the same time, he held this softness in his movements that made him look friendly. 

“Please, Queen Hunith, let us go inside and talk,” Arthur said as he looked away from Merlin. 

The prince snapped away from his daydream and looked at his mum, who glanced at him knowingly before she smiled at Arthur and nodded. Merlin’s skin was pale, paler than snow itself, so he was sure his mum had seen his flushed cheeks, and mortifyingly, so had Arthur, Merlin was sure. 

Embarrassed, Merlin refrained from looking at the King again as they entered the room. Merlin sat next to his mum while Gaius was already in the room, sitting next to Cecil. 

Arthur sat in front of the Queen of Ealdor and took a deep breath. 

“As you know, my Queen, the reason why we called you here is because we want to end this animosity between us,” Arthur said. Merlin looked at Arthur carefully, and wondered if the King was sincere. 

“Yes, I seem to recall you made many attempts to contact me after you’ve been crowned King to end this war,” Hunith said though her voice was cold, emotionless.

Arthur nodded. “I believe my father was wrong in attacking your kingdom,” Arthur said. “For that I have been meaning to apologise. I have tried to dissuade Father from continuing this war for nothing good has come out of it, and I also apologise—especially when it caused the King of Ealdor’s life.”

Hunith sighed. “He died in war, a war raged on by your Father’s hatred for anything and everything magic,” Hunith said. “It was unfair and we have retaliated as such, taking your kingdom as an enemy and after my husband’s death…what makes you think we’ll agree to this treaty?”

Arthur winced at that and Merlin noticed the guilt on his face. This intrigued Merlin as he sat straighter, leaning close to the table and continued to eye the King. 

“I,” Arthur began. “Am sorry. For what my father did to him, to your kingdom. He was blinded by the hate for magic after my mother had died from it. I’m not making excuses for him, but I am acknowledging the fact that I am not my father. I wish to end this war. I only want peace and I know it’s not enough and to even ask of you this, is…a lot. But I plead you to consider. For we can benefit your kingdom as you can benefit mine.”

Hunith raised her eyebrows. “How can we benefit your kingdom?”

“I am to interrogate magic into this kingdom,” Arthur said. “I am going to lift the ban on magic.”

Merlin took in a sharp gasp at that, and Hunith stiffened beside him. Merlin looked at Gaius, but the old man only looked intrigued, sharing a look with Cecil. 

“You’re going to undo the ban?” Merlin asked, talking for the first time since he arrived. Arthur’s blue eyes landed on him and he nodded. 

“I am,” he said. “I think it’s time Camelot became what it’s always meant to be.”

“You are talking about a revolution, my King,” Hunith said. “A revolution your father would have no doubt disagreed to, in fact, would have executed anyone who even uttered it. You are talking about disobeying and undoing everything your father has worked hard for.”

“He has worked hard to ban magic and enlist fear in the citizens of Camelot,” Arthur argued, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips thinned. “Magic used to roam freely in Camelot once. You surely would have known that our kingdoms used to have the strongest alliance in all Five Lands. I wish to bring back those days and hopefully retain them.”

Hunith looked at Arthur for a minute and Merlin could see her brain working. “What do you propose then, to strengthen this alliance? I cannot take your word that you’ll allow peace just like that. A paper filled with words are just words, words that can be dishonoured if you wish by just tearing the paper.”

Arthur looked at Hunith and then his eyes glided to Merlin. The prince frowned a bit when there was something sparking in the King’s eyes and Merlin felt something coiling in the pit of his stomach. He had a bad feeling about this. 

“I wish to propose a marriage alliance,” Arthur said. 

Merlin’s eyes widened and Hunith sat straighter, her hands clenching on the table. “Excuse me?” Hunith asked, her voice now held an edge of warning. 

“I wish to marry your son,” Arthur said as he eyed Merlin. “A treaty that would not only give help to each other’s kingdoms when the time need it, but to form an alliance so strong, it cannot be broken.”

“A diplomatic marriage,” Hunith said, flatly. “You are saying you want me to hand over my only heir, my only son, to a diplomatic marriage.”

“Yes,” Arthur said. “Though he will still be your heir. In fact, he will be ruling Ealdor and Camelot by my side.”

Merlin opened and closed his mouth, his heart beating wildly against his chest. He couldn’t believe this! How did the peace treaty negotiations ended up to marriage? Merlin looked at Gaius, but the man seemed to nod, as if it made sense. Merlin felt panic rising in his chest as he looked at his mum, who in return was staring at Arthur. 

Merlin knew better than to speak up in a formal discussion though, he knew. But the thought alone of being married to the King just for diplomatic reasons had him feeling sick. He wanted to love, he wanted to marry out of love like his parents did. Not like this, and especially not to the King who his father had been nothing but a magic-hater. 

“You’re so sure I’ll say yes to this,” Hunith said. “Merlin is not to be sold for a treaty. He is not a property you can ask for just to secure this deal.”

“No, of course he’s not,” Arthur said. “But I am saying this could be a great opportunity for a lot of us. I’m only asking if you’ll consider this option. I know Ealdor needs Merlin and it’s not my place and it’ll never be my place to ask him to leave his throne to be my consort. Instead, I think it can be beneficial. An alliancethat’s strong, through politics and social.”

Hunith was quiet for a while before she looked at Merlin. “We cannot make a decision right now,” Hunith said. “I’m assuming this treaty is solely based on my agreeability to this marriage?”

“It’ll be a solid foundation,” Arthur said. “But we will still agree on the treaty even if you do not agree on this diplomatic marriage.”

Hunith raised her eyebrows in surprise. After a minute, she sighed and nodded. “Give us two days to decide. Can you give us that?”

“Yes,” Arthur said. Hunith then stood up, Merlin followed her before they excused themselves. Merlin walked behind his mum dumbly, head still reeling from what had happened. There were so many things he wanted to say but he didn’t know where to start. When they entered Hunith’s room, she turned around and waved her hand around, her eyes wide. 

“Well?” she asked. 

Merlin looked at her and then his cheeks flooded red. “What the hell was that?” Merlin screeched at last, pointing towards the closed doors. “What the _hell_ was he saying? _Marriage_?”

Just then, someone knocked on the door and when Hunith opened them, Gaius stood on the other side. She allowed him in before she closed the door again, back against it as she stared at the old man. 

“Speak,” she said to Gaius. 

Gaius nodded and sighed. “I think it’s a good opportunity.”

Merlin’s mouth was open to protest when Gaius shook his head. “Listen, Merlin, it’ll be beneficial for Ealdor too, to be in such a strong bond with Camelot.”

“No!” Merlin said, frowning. “I am not going to marry the son of a King who had murdered my father! Mum, you surely aren’t considering this!”

“I am,” she said truthfully and Merlin took in another sharp breath, not believing what she was saying. Hunith held out her hand, palm out as she looked at him. “No, listen, I won’t force you into this marriage if you don’t want to. I’m always your mother first when it comes to you, Merlin.”

The knot in his heart loosened at that as his shoulders slumped. “I don’t want to marry him,” Merlin said. “I can’t marry to someone I don’t love.”

“Then you won’t marry him,” Hunith said. “Simple as that.”

Merlin bit his bottom lip as he rubbed his face. He knew he couldn’t just make decisions based on his heart alone. He was the future-King of Ealdor. He needed to think like that, he needed to make decisions that would benefit his kingdom, even if it meant that those decisions were not his favourite. 

“I don’t know,” Merlin moaned pitifully as he walked to the bed and sat on the edge. “I’m only twenty, mum. I thought I would meet someone I’ll love and marry her or him instead.”

“I know,” Hunith said softly as she sat next to him, hand on his hair. “I know, son.”

“It would be beneficial,” Gaius said, catching Merlin’s attention. “But only if you’re willing to do it. Not even I wish to see you upset, Merlin.”

Merlin nodded and sighed. “Just give me the two days to make up my mind. I’ll—I’ll decide in the morning.”

Hunith nodded and brought Merlin’s head towards her shoulders. “Alright, love.”

 

***

 

Merlin walked down the large hallway, taking a look at the pictures hanging on the wall, portraits of previous Kings and Queens. Merlin stopped at the portrait of Uther, looking grim and angry. The prince snorted. 

“He does look like that all the time, even in deathbed,” Arthur’s voice rang through the empty hallway, echoing. Merlin, startled, quickly turned around to see the King, leaning against the opposite wall, hands in his pant pockets and smiling at the prince. 

Merlin’s lips twitched to smile but he schooled his face into a careful mask when he realised that this wasn’t the ally, it was still his enemy. “I see,” Merlin said, after a while. 

An enemy he would have to marry. 

Merlin sighed internally and refrained himself from looking at Arthur, knowing that the King was staring at him. “I actually wanted to apologise,” Arthur said. 

Merlin looked at him, surprised. “Apologise for what?” Merlin asked, his voice quiet. 

Arthur shifted from one foot to the other before he frowned. “For asking your hand in marriage so bluntly like that.”

Merlin’s cheeks reddened at the prospect of marriage with Arthur and averted his eyes to the wall over the King’s shoulders. “Yes, well,” Merlin said. “Apology acknowledged. Acceptance pending.”

Arthur let out a surprised chuckle that caused Merlin to relax his shoulders and a silly smile to carve on his own lips. “Just let me know once the apology is accepted then.”

“Sure,” Merlin said with a shrug and then, silence flooded in. 

“Would you like me to show you around the castle?” Arthur asked, breaking the silence. Merlin looked at the King in the eyes and once more froze when he locked with the bright blue orbs. They were shimmering in hope and Merlin’s heart beat really fast.

“O-oh,” Merlin said and felt his cheeks reddening again. He brought his hands to his cheeks and patted on them for a bit and froze when Arthur chuckled again. Oh good Lord, he was making a fool of himself! Merlin immediately pulled his hands away and placed them behind him. “It’s alright. You surely must have other more important things to be doing. Kingly…things.”

Merlin wished a hole would open up and swallow him whole. Oh wait, he could do that. Magic and all. 

Before he could wish for it to be real, Arthur had taken a step forward, the sound of his shoes reverberated against the walls of the hallway. “I’m quite free today, actually.”

Merlin glanced at him and cleared his throat, bashing himself internally for acting like a teenager. He was twenty, for God’s sakes! In about ten more years or so, or when his mum deemed he was ready, he would be King of Ealdor! He shouldn’t be blushing and stammering like some maiden. 

“Well, if you insist,” Merlin said as he looked at the King in the eyes, back straight and feet postured apart, hoping he looked as confident as he sounded. Though that thought vanished when he noticed how amused Arthur looked. 

Slight irritation bubbled in him at the thought that the King might be making fun of him. Merlin frowned and stared at Arthur before he crossed his arms. “So, lead the way then, my King.”

Arthur grinned before he waved to the right. “This way.”

Arthur walked first and Merlin followed him cautiously. He took a few glances of the King, the man who proposed to him for diplomatic reasons, the man Merlin would most probably marry, cataloguing his features. He looked ahead and bit his inner cheek for a minute. 

“I don’t want to marry you,” Merlin blurted out and stopped walking, mortified at what he had just said. Arthur turned to look at him, but he didn’t look offended like Merlin thought he would be. Instead, Arthur’s eyes softened as if he understood what Merlin was going through. 

“I know,” Arthur said and then he took a step forward. “I’m sorry you had to do this.”

“I haven’t agreed yet,” Merlin said. 

“But you will?” Arthur asked. Merlin looked away from him as he ran his fingers through his hair. 

Merlin then looked outside of the large windows, walking towards them as he peered into the night sky. It was beautiful, the gardens outside. “Take me out there,” Merlin said as he pointed outside to the rose gardens. 

“Here,” Arthur said as he gestured towards the T-junction in the castle hallways. Merlin didn’t answer Arthur’s pervious question, mostly because he didn’t want to give Arthur the satisfaction that he would have to say yes at the end of the day if he wanted what was best for his kingdom. Merlin wasn’t ready. He was not convinced yet that it would be okay to marry Arthur. 

Arthur did show him the rose gardens after twenty-minutes of walking. The wind that blew into Merlin’s face smelt of roses and he loved it. He crouched in front of one of the rose bushes and gently patted the petals of the flowers, minding their thorns. Arthur stood next to him and Merlin glanced up to notice he was staring at him, a smile on his face.

The moonlight that shone on Arthur’s face made the King look even handsomer than he had already been. It made him look strong and calm, made him look like he could wield the moonlight because he owned it. Merlin’s cheeks once more burned as he looked away from the King to the roses. 

“I dreamt of falling in love,” Merlin finally said, his voice soft and wistful. “I dreamt that I would meet someone one day and fall in love with him or her.”

Arthur crouched down next to him, sighing. “It must be nice, to be allowed to dream like that.”

Merlin glanced at him. “Is that a mock?”

“No,” Arthur said. “I’m just envious, I guess.”

“Envious?” Merlin asked, furrowing his eyebrows. “What do you, Arthur Pendragon, the man who currently ruled the most powerful kingdom, have to envy about lil’ ol’ me?”

Merlin couldn’t help the sarcasm that leaked out and flinched. “Sorry,” he apologised immediately but Arthur shook his head. 

“No, it’s alright,” Arthur said. “When you put it like that, it makes me sound like I’m a royal prat.” He looked at Merlin and smiled, but the prince could see that Arthur’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. Instead, there was something sad about them. Merlin’s heart constricted and he looked away. 

“What do you have to be envious about anyway?” Merlin asked. 

“You get to dream,” Arthur said. “You got the chance to grow up with the thought you can dream, you can have it one day. I didn’t.”

“What do you mean?” Merlin said. “Everyone has the right to dream, whether it comes true or not—that’s another matter.”

“Dreaming for me meant hope,” Arthur said. “I didn’t have much hope to begin with.”

Merlin frowned. “I still don’t understand.”

Arthur chuckled, but it sounded strained. Merlin found that he didn’t like how that sounded. It didn’t fit with the King’s image. “Ever since I was a child, my father had always stressed out that being a King would mean ruling with an iron fist. No future-King should be soft and malleable. A King of Camelot has to be his own person, has to do what’s right for the kingdom first, self second. I wasn’t given the privilege to run around and play with my toys, instead, I would be studying with my tutors, learning languages and arithmetics. While other kids would show their parents the latest drawing they drew, my father often yelled at me for not doing excellent in tests.”

Merlin’s heart ached as he listened, closing his eyes as his mind tried to take in what Arthur was saying. 

“When I was sixteen, I fell in love,” Arthur said as he laughed, as if it was a joke. “She was beautiful. Different. Perfect for me.”

“What happened?” Merlin asked.

“She was exiled,” Arthur said bluntly. Merlin’s eyes flew open and he looked at the King, shock on his face.

“What?” Merlin said. Arthur sighed as he touched the roses gently. 

“She was a servant,” Arthur said. “Her name’s Guinevere. I called her Gwen. I loved her and she loved me too. Father found out one day and he accused her of bewitching me. I tried to defend her, but at the end, the only mercy he gave me was by banishing her instead of executing her.”

“I’m sorry,” Merlin said while he processed what Arthur had told him. Uther was crueler than he thought. He wouldn’t know what he would have done if he was in Arthur’s shoes. To find someone he loved only for them to have been taken away and there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening, it was a terrible thing to experience. “Where is she now?”

“Last I heard, she’s in a remote village outside the outskirts of Niger Kingdom.” Arthur ran his fingers through his hair. “She’s married now.”

Merlin watched him for a minute before he said, “You still love her.”

“She was my first love,” Arthur said as he looked at Merlin. “I would always love her, somewhere in my heart but—I’m not in love with her, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Merlin averted his gaze once more, his cheeks reddening. “That wasn’t—I…I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“It sucks but it brought me here to meet you, didn’t it?” Arthur asked and Merlin’s heart skipped a beat as he looked at the King again. 

“You won’t love me,” Merlin said. “I practise magic every day. My powers—they’re everything Camelot was conditioned to hate. How could the son of the man who hated magic—accept this, me, easily?”

“It’s true in some ways that I was conditioned to hate magic,” Arthur said. “But I never did. I don’t think I can blame anyone like my father did when mother died. He knew the consequences. He just refused to admit his mistakes and took it out on the next easiest target.”

Merlin shook his head. “So, you’ll love me then, someday along the road?”

Arthur’s smile sweetened. “Someday, I will, yeah. Can you?”

Merlin stood up and looked at Arthur. “I don’t know,” Merlin said. “But…I can try.”

Arthur stood up too and nodded. “Would you please consider marrying me? I could lend help in rebuilding your kingdom. I know it won’t completely erase what my kingdom has done to yours, but I’m thinking it could be a start.”

Merlin bit his bottom lip before he smiled at Arthur. “I’ll consider it. I’ll be heading back to my room. Thank you for showing me the rose garden.”

“You’re welcome. Good night, Merlin,” Arthur said and Merlin’s heart once more skipped a beat at the smile on the King’s face. 

“Good night, Arthur.”

 

***

 

“Are you sure?” Hunith asked, her hands on his, as she stared into her son’s eyes. 

“Yes,” Merlin said as he took a deep breath. “It’s beneficial to the kingdom and as future king, I have to learn how to put the well-being of my kingdom first before my own needs.”

Hunith’s eyes watered as she rubbed his hands. “You could say no. We could build another diplomatic treaty without the marriage.”

Merlin was tempted to do that, to accept his mum’s offer. But Arthur, their conversation from the night before came into his mind and he realised that night that the King wasn’t really who he thought to be. The King had gone through things that Merlin hadn’t. It was as if Arthur himself had been a victim. 

Especially to lose someone he loved like that, Merlin would never want to know how that felt. He admired Arthur’s bravery and courage. That night, Merlin conceded to the part of himself that had said that Arthur was going to be a great King. 

“No, it’s fine, I’ll marry him,” Merlin said. “I’ll do it.”

Hunith looked at her son for a minute before she sighed and placed one of her hands on his hair, pushing away the strands of hair to the back of his ear. “What made you change your mind?”

Merlin smiled at her as he placed his own hand on top of hers and squeezed. “A conversation,” Merlin said. “And a story.”

Hunith raised her eyebrows. “Really?”

“Yes,” Merlin said. “Maybe you’re right, mum. Maybe he’s different after all. And…I’m interested to see where this will lead us.”

Hunith then smiled knowingly, her eyes sparkled. “For the kingdom’s sake?”

Merlin grinned. “Of course.”

Hunith chuckled before she dragged Merlin into a hug. “I’m proud of you for being brave.”

“Thanks,” Merlin said as he hugged his mum back. If Arthur could move forward and sacrifice for his kingdom, surely Merlin could do that too, for his own kingdom. 

_Is that all the reason I want to marry him, though?_

Merlin shook his head from that thought, cheeks reddening. 

Of course that was all! 

That was all. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine. I own nothing but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: ...Huh. Look at that. Almost...3 months, huh. Yeap. Enjoy! I'm not entire too happy with this chapter. Something about it just bothered me, and I was tempted to just erase and rewrite but...yeah. It would probably take another 3 months and I think I had made you guys waited for too long. 
> 
> I'm a bit surprised at how many people liked the first chapter though! I'm very happy you guys did. Like I said, I'm trying for an all fluffy story but...if you know how I write by now...you clearly know I'd probably fail. Ha....ha. Thank you to those who have commented, kudos, bookmarked and subscribed! Hope you guys like this chapter and let me know what you guys thought! Until next chapter~ -Krystal

 

Merlin was nervous as hell. 

He looked at himself in the mirror and wondered for the umpteenth time if he was really ready to do this. Hunith stood behind him, a watery smile gracing on her lips. Merlin sighed as he turned to look at her, stretching out his arms. 

Hunith choked on a sob and hugged him, hands tight around her son. Merlin felt his own eyes water as he took in a shaky breath. “I’m so proud of you,” Hunith said as she patted his back. “So very proud of you.”

Merlin smiled as the tears clouded his vision. “I’m terrified,” he told her. She pulled back and looked at him, wiping his eyes. 

“It’s always terrifying at first,” Hunith said. “But soon, you’ll see it’s not so scary after all.”

Merlin nodded. His heart was beating against his chest loudly as slight thrums of panic rushed through his veins. He had agreed to this marriage business and he knew it was too late to back out now. It wasn’t as if he could back out even if he wanted to. Merlin had to act like the future King he was going to be. 

He remembered Arthur’s story from that night, how the King had looked wistful and soft. Merlin’s heart ached for him. Uther, that old man with skewed morals, not only hurt Ealdor and everyone around him, but he also had hurt Arthur. 

And Merlin admired his strength to move on and make his kingdom a better place—right the wrongs immediately after he became King. He still didn’t trust Arthur. No matter what, he was still a Pendragon and Pendragons were the one who murdered his father. But there was a small part of him that was intrigued with the King. 

For now, he would give Arthur the benefit of the doubt. 

The door opened after a brief knock and one of the maids walked in, smiling widely when her eyes landed on Merlin. “Your Majesty,” she said as she bowed. Hunith smiled at her before she nodded, asking her to continue speaking. “It’s time.”

Merlin’s heart got stuck in his throat as the words registered in his mind. Hunith looked back at her son and took in a shuddering breath. She placed her hands on his shoulders and squeezed. “You’ll be fine, my son,” she said. 

Merlin looked at her as nervousness bled into his irises. “I hope so,” he said under his breath. Hunith could only smile as she caressed Merlins’s cheeks. 

“No matter what, you’re my son firstly before anything else,” she said as her eyes turned serious. “If you are unhappy about anything—if the King mistreats you, hurts you in any shape or form, you must tell me. I have the same power as the King to annul the marriage and I will do so, even if it meant it will start war.”

Merlin felt grateful to have his mother by his side. He hugged her again, burying her face on her shoulder. “Thanks, mum,” he said and she patted his back. He felt her dropping a kiss on his temples. 

“I love you,” she said. “Always.”

“I love you too, mum,” Merlin said as he inhaled her scent, feeling calm at the scent of flowers. It was his comfort, the scent of hers. Every time he got scared when he was younger, his mum would hug him tight and sang him to sleep. The smell of flowers had soon turned to be his favourite smell, as he often associated it with the warmth of his mother. 

With that comfort in his chest, he pulled away and straightened himself. He looked at the maid, who had averted her eyes from the familial display of affection. “I’m ready,” he told her, even if his palms were sweaty and his feet felt like stones.

 

***

 

The ceremony was grand. There were many people here, most of them were from other kingdoms, coming in to pay their respects to the late King and to show their admiration to the current King. Even citizens were invited to watch, for this wedding was said to be the most important wedding in all Camelot history and should be rejoiced. 

Merlin had felt nothing but dread at the size of crowd. He never did well in public and this just pushed anxiety and panic into his veins once more. He was at the altar, the King right in front of him, looking handsome and strong. Arthur had smiled at him when he first met his eyes but Merlin couldn’t return the smile without grimacing. 

His ears were ringing and he could hear nothing but this loud buzz as his heart pounded against his chest. It was when Arthur snapped his gaze at him with a confused stare that he realised that the priest was talking to him. Merlin, startled, looked away from the King to the man in robes. 

“U-Uhm, what?” Merlin asked, face reddening. 

_Oh God, great_. Why don’t you look even more incompetent, Merlin?

“Do you accept Arthur Pendragon to be your husband?” the man asked, furrowing his eyebrows a bit as confusion coloured his face. Merlin looked at his soon-to-be husband and saw the warm blue eyes, looking back at him. 

“I do, yes, I accept him, I mean,” Merlin fumbled through and Arthur quirked an amused smile at him. Merlin, embarrassed even more, looked to his feet, wondering why today out of all days he decided to be the babbling baboon he was. A hand then gently touched his, jolting Merlin from his thoughts. He noticed the big hand touching his smaller one as a ring slid onto his finger. 

Merlin stared at the ring before Arthur handed out his own ring to Merlin. “Go on,” Arthur said to him gently. Merlin shakily took the ring and looked at the King, taking in a deep breath. He then took hold of Arthur’s left hand and slipped the ring in place. 

“I pronounce you wed,” the man said and Merlin heart raced when the King took a step forward. His blue eyes filled with cautiousness as he gently placed them on Merlin’s face, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs. “You may kiss to seal this union.”

Merlin’s eyes widened as he looked into the blue eyes. His lips parted in gasp as Arthur stepped closer, until their noses brushed. “Can I?” Arthur whispered, his voice soft. Merlin bit his bottom lip, knowing he had no choice anyway. But still, there was some parts of him that wanted it, wanted to see what it felt like to kiss those red lips. 

“Yeah,” Merlin said as Arthur leaned in. Merlin closed his eyes and gasped a bit when their lips met. A spark of something ran down his spine and his magic sparkled in his fingertips and it felt good. It was just a chaste kiss before Arthur moved away, removing his hands from Merlin’s face, but it still felt like it turned Merlin’s world upside down. 

Merlin opened his eyes and met with the sparkling blue ones, shining in mirth. Then, the entire crowd burst into claps and shouts of happiness, startling Merlin. Arthur chuckled, grinning at Merlin and the prince could only look away, red and nervous. 

He was married. 

He was finally married. 

Arthur held out his hand and Merlin hesitated for a second before he placed his own hand on it. Arthur then turned around, Merlin following and he blanched at just how big the crowd was. His eyes searched the faces until he found his mother, smiling at him with teary eyes. He felt himself relax at that and when he felt Arthur squeezing his hand, he couldn’t help but to feel like he could be fine. 

His heart beat calmed and he could finally breathe.

 

***

 

The reception was lively. There was people laughing and talking loudly, while some danced and others eating their slices of cake. Merlin sat at the wedding table, eating his cake and looking around, intrigued at how excited and happy everyone were even though he felt trickles of discomfort in presence of a huge crowd. 

“Are you alright?” Arthur asked from beside him. Merlin looked at him before he looked at his cake. 

“I’m just not very good in crowds,” he said, almost ashamed of that as he took in another forkful of his wedding cake. 

“Oh,” Arthur said and Merlin felt his cheeks flooding red in shame as he nodded. “Do you want to leave then? If you’d like, we can take a walk around the castle.”

Merlin looked at Arthur and met with a pair of understanding eyes. Merlin, surprised, felt a bit of hope trickling in his chest. “We can?” Merlin asked as Arthur smiled and nodded. 

“Of course,” he said as he stood up, holding out his hand. “Let’s go.”

Merlin placed his hand in Arthur’s as he stood up and immediately the King intertwined their fingers. The warmth of his palm seeped into Merlin’s hand and it made Merlin feel light inside. He looked around the hall and saw his mother talking to one of the duchess. His mother’s eyes finally met his after he stared at her for a while. She excused herself and walked towards the royal pair, smiling when Merlin smiled widely at her. 

“And why did you beckon me here?” she teased before her eyes landed on the King. “My King.”

“Arthur, please,” Arthur said. “We are a family now.”

Hunith smiled at him before she straightened herself, her face now serious. “I do hope you take care of my son. I cherish him a lot—and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep him safe and happy.”

Merlin paled at the disguised threat in his mother’s voice. He tensed a bit, wondering if Arthur would take offence to that but Arthur only chuckled, a wide grin on his face. Merlin noticed that even though he looked happy, he still had that seriousness in his eyes as he stared at his mother. 

“I’ll take care of him,” Arthur said. “I will make sure he’s happy.”

Hunith stared at Arthur for a minute before she smiled, as if she was satisfied at what she saw in his eyes. She then looked at Merlin and sighed. “My baby, all grown up and married.”

Merlin’s face heated up even more. “Mum!” he said and Hunith laughed, Arthur joining her. Merlin frowned, obviously taking offence until he felt Arthur squeezing their intertwined fingers. He glanced at Arthur and raised his eyebrows. 

“Cheer up,” Arthur said. “Come on, let’s leave.”

“Oh? You’re leaving?” Hunith asked and Merlin knew she was probably thinking about their wedding night, which once more made Merlin blush. Oh damn, he forgot about that. Arthur though smiled assuringly at her. 

“I will not do anything that Merlin doesn’t want,” Arthur promised. “I think—until we’re more comfortable and get to know each other, we wouldn’t be doing any of that sorts.”

Merlin felt himself looking at Arthur in awe. “Really?” Merlin asked, making sure he kept his voice low so that no busy body could hear them. Arthur nodded, smiling at him. 

“I’ll make a promise to you both today, right now,” Arthur said. “I will always try my best to make Merlin happy, comfortable and satisfied. I would never do anything he doesn’t want and I will try my best to get to know him.”

Merlin blinked at him. That was—that was certainly unexpected. Arthur was so different from how Merlin had imagined him to be. This King here, this man in front of him—his husband, was so different from how Merlin assumed Pendragons to be. 

The prince was still wary of the King of course, it could never hurt to keep an eye on him, but as far as he could see, the King was nobly and charming. Merlin looked away and then to his mother, who looked at him with a soft look on her face. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning then, mum,” Merlin said and she nodded. 

With that, Arthur had dragged him out of the reception, people stopping what they were doing to congratulate the new pair and wishing them luck with leered grin on their faces that really had Merlin feeling uncomfortable. Even Arthur looked discomforted as he left the place. 

They rushed from there until they were far away from the room of people. Merlin took in a deep breath as they continued to walk, hand in hand, down the dark corridors, the only light was the moonlight streaming through the big windows. 

“So,” Arthur said, catching him off guard. “How are you feeling?”

Merlin glanced at him before he looked ahead, shrugging. “I feel…fine, I suppose.”

“Hm,” Arthur said. “I, on the other hand, am not.”

Merlin looked at him quizzically. Arthur glanced at him before he cracked an uneasy grin. “It’s just I’m not really good in big crowds either.”

Merlin couldn’t help but to smile at him, squeezing their hands together. His King, his—husband, the person he would be spending the rest of his life with, relaxed a bit and squeezed their hands in response. “I feel you,” Merlin said as they continued on their leisure walk. 

Arthur hummed under his breath for a bit. “I like the outdoors more,” Arthur said. “I’m not an introvert. I like the outdoors, I like making new friends, I’m boisterous and loud at times. But sometimes, sometimes it’s nice to wind down quietly and not be constantly under thousands of eyes on me, scrutinising every one of my move.”

“Is it hard?” Merlin asked, slowly. “Is it hard being a King?”

Arthur shrugged and sighed. “It has its rewards and—consequences,” Arthur said. “Rewards being I could see the happy faces of my citizens when I do something right. Rewards being able to watch how my kingdom flourishes each and every year. It feels good to know that all my hard work pays off.”

The brunet hummed back. “And the consequences?”

“I—I am not so sure who I am honestly,” Arthur said as he looked at Merlin, his blue eyes seemed duller. Merlin’s chest suddenly felt tight at the look on the King’s face. It made him feel—sad. He quickly decided he disliked that look on the blond’s face. It didn’t suit him, didn’t suit the persona he carried himself in. 

“What do you mean?” Merlin asked, gently. “You’re the King. You have everything, so much power in your hands. You—you’re doing something that nobody thought to do. You’re creating a revolution.”

“Hm, that’s all good,” Arthur said. “But sometimes I just want to be Arthur. Just—Arthur. Not a Pendragon, not the King of Camelot. Just Arthur, the twenty-five year old man who likes to hunt and fool around in the sparring arena with his friends. Just—Arthur.”

Merlin listened, letting the information to wash into his brain. He knew that being a King was a lot of pressure. He had already felt the pressure now that he was training to be a King himself. He could sympathise at least a little with this man. 

And it hadn’t even been so long since he had known Arthur, but the King kept on surprising him with his thoughts. Merlin had always thought he was going to be as cruel as his father, lulling him into a false sense of security before Arthur would take the chance to take what he wanted. 

But here he was, walking with Merlin, holding his hand and talking about himself, opening himself up to someone who used to be his kingdom’s enemy. “You can,” Merlin found himself saying. Arthur stopped walking to turn and look at him, his blue eyes shimmering in something fond. “You can—with me.”

Arthur’s eyes widened and Merlin’s own did too as soon as the words slipped out of his mouth. He bit down his inner cheek, slight thrums of panic washed into his veins. What the hell was that? 

“I mean,” Merlin began as he resisted from tugging at his hair. His cheeks reddened as he looked at their joined hands. There was that thrum of uneasiness in him again, the other side of him that refused to give Arthur a chance—because he was a Pendragon. His father was murdered by one. “I—”

Merlin’s breath hitched, cutting off what he wanted to say when he felt soft brushes of fingers on his hair. The fingers pushed his hair away from his forehead. Merlin looked at the King, the icy blue eyes watched him carefully, shoulders tensed. 

Arthur’s ocean-blue eyes looked at him before he pulled his fingers away from Merlin’s hair. “Thanks,” Arthur said after a while. Merlin furrowed his eyebrows, confusion coloured his mind. Arthur gave him a smile and clenched their hands once more. “You can too—open up to me.”

Merlin looked away for a second before he pulled his hand away from Arthur’s, taking a step back. Reality seeped into his senses there and then. Just what the hell was he doing? This was still his enemy, no matter how charming Arthur was being. When Merlin glanced at him, he noticed a look of caution on the King’s face. 

“I don’t trust you,” Merlin said, taking a deep breath as he looked at Arthur once more in the eyes. “To me, it’s hard to scrape away the thought of a Pendragon trying to make amends. It’s…”

“It’s not easy,” Arthur finished the thought for him. Merlin nodded, letting his gaze fall away. “I understand.”

“Do you?” Merlin asked as he touched his lips. “You’ll be the first—in everything that matters to me. You’ll be the first to be with me in any sense. And you’re—you’re—you’re a Pendragon that I despised since I was in my early teen years.”

Merlin didn’t miss Arthur’s wince. The prince felt guilty for inflicting that to his husband…but he needed the truth to be out there. He didn’t want to be malicious later on and Arthur not knowing why. He didn’t want any misunderstanding on how he was still unsure if this treaty would even work. 

“I,” Arthur began. “I’ll take care of you, I promise. I’ll try and make you see I’m not like my father. I’m still sorry, very, for what he had done to your father. But know that I’m not my father—and I will never be.”

Merlin remained silent at that as he dropped his hand to his sides. The slow sadness in his chest since yesterday night, the thought of never seeing Ealdor and his mother for a long time had his heart constricting. His father was his inspiration—his role model. His father was someone he looked up to. 

Merlin had cried to bed every night since his father died until he managed to look at his father’s portrait without tearing up. Now, the emotions of everything rushed back in and he was back to that boy who lost everything and was about to lose more. 

A hand touched his shoulders, jolting Merlin from his thoughts. He looked at the warm hand on his shoulder before he looked at Arthur. The King’s eyes widened for a second before they softened. His lips thinned before Arthur placed another hand on his other shoulder. 

“I’m sorry,” Arthur said, his eyes sincere. Merlin blinked before he realised that his face was wet. Embarrassment flooded into him as he wiped his face with the back of his hands. He started to fumble backwards in mortification. 

He had cried in front of Arthur!

Before he could take another step backwards to apologise for that sudden emotional burst, Arthur had dragged him close until Merlin’s face was buried against the King’s shoulder. The strong arms wrapped around him tight, the warmth of the embrace started to blanket Merlin. 

The prince gave a startled gasp as he placed his hands on the King’s shoulders, ready to push him off. Then, he felt one of Arthur’s hand touching the back of his head, fingers caressing his hair. It was a gentle notion, like what his mother would do whenever he was upset. 

“I’m sorry,” Arthur apologised near his ear. In this quiet and desolate hallway, it sounded like a promise. “I’m so sorry.”

“I,” Merlin began, as tears started to gather even more in his eyes. “What are you—”

“You can be yourself with me,” Arthur said, his voice still hushed. “With me, you can be yourself. I promise to never hurt you intentionally, to never make you feel sad. I’ll try my best to keep you happy.”

Merlin was confused once more at how sincere Arthur sounded to his promises. “Why? Why would you go through so much for someone who's just a pawn in this treaty?”

“You’re not a pawn,” Arthur said as he tightened his hug. “You’re human. You have feelings, you can miss someone, you can cry, you laugh and smile. You’re—human. I won’t ever say no to you if I can. I promise to make you happy as your—husband. As your King.”

Merlin choked back a startled sob as he dropped his forehead on Arthur’s shoulder. “I miss him,” Merlin said. 

“I’m sorry,” Arthur said, once more like a promise. “I’m sorry.”

“You’ll keep those promises?” Merlin asked, taking in a shuddering breath as his hands fisted the King’s shirt. 

“As long as I can,” Arthur said. “As long as I can.”

“Let go of me,” Merlin said after a second. Arthur immediately did, letting him go and taking a few steps back to give Merlin breathing room. The prince’s heart thumped against his chest, realising the King had done what he wanted. He wiped his face once more and took in a few deep breaths. 

“I’ll always keep my word,” Arthur said, quietly. Merlin looked at him and noticed how stormy the blue eyes were—determined and strong. Merlin looked away and nodded.

 

***

 

“You take the bed.”

Merlin blinked as Arthur had grabbed a pillow for himself and held it tight against his chest. Merlin looked at him and back to the bed. “Where will you sleep?” Merlin asked.

After that emotional breakdown at the hallway, Arthur had kept a distance as they walked to their new room. Merlin felt exhausted and as much as he knew that he couldn’t be so judgemental anymore, not when Arthur was his husband as well, he still felt wary of him. 

And Arthur didn’t blame him, instead, he understood with the way his eyes softened every time their eyes met. It made Merlin’s heart flutter gently at the thought maybe the blond-haired King understood him after all. But at the same time, the brunet hated to be read like an open book.

His emotions were conflicting and he, at the moment, had no idea what to think. As they retired to their room, Merlin froze when he noticed the big bed, beckoning him with an evil laugh. That was until Arthur had taken one of the pillows and announced Merlin could take the bed. 

“On the couch,” Arthur said as he waved a hand towards where the couch was placed. It was placed in front of a fireplace and in between the two items was a large oak coffee table. The couch did look comfy, as comfy as the bed looked but Merlin frowned anyway. 

“I,” Merlin began but Arthur shook his head.

“It’s fine,” Arthur said, with a smile on his face. “I slept on worse beddings.”

Merlin raised his eyebrows in slight confusion. “What do you mean?”

Arthur’s cheeks reddened slightly as he scratched the back of his neck. The easy smile he wore melted into an embarrassed one. “Sometimes when I go for camping trips—or hunting trips that would take a few days…” Arthur finished his sentence by waving vaguely to the thick curtained windows. 

“Oh,” Merlin said as he tilted his head to the side a bit. Arthur had slept on cold hard grounds before, then. Merlin found that—interesting. Arthur grinned with a shrug as he walked to where the couch was and placed the pillow at the armrest. Still, it felt a bit wrong for someone with the title of King to sleep on a couch. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Arthur said as he stretched his arms upwards before sighing. “I’ll just go and get changed. Or—do you want to use the bathroom first?”

Merlin shook his head and the King smiled once more before he walked to the large cupboard next to the bed. He opened the doors and look through the clothes before he picked out his pyjama pants and a white shirt. Merlin cautiously walked to where Arthur was and peeked inside, eyes wide when he saw his own clothes—with some new ones were neatly mixed with Arthur’s. 

Arthur left him to stare at the clothes as he disappeared to the bathroom. Merlin blinked a few times, fingers grazing at the clothes before he looked at the other clothes neatly folded at the bottom of the cupboard. He squatted down and noticed his own pyjamas placed there. 

The brunet grabbed the pyjamas and stood up, looking at the insides of the cupboard one last time. He closed the doors and turned around to lean against it, the pyjamas clutched against his chest. It still felt surreal that this all had happened. One minute he has been nothing but merely his mother’s son and now—he was the husband to the King of Camelot. 

His eyes landed on the large bed and a child-like curiosity wormed into his mind. His own bed back at Ealdor was not this big. It was just a normal bed, crafted by wood from the finest carpenter in their kingdom. His mother didn’t believe that they should be treated so differently from their citizens. 

It was what made their kingdom special in a way too—how their relationship with their citizens were almost like a familial bond instead of bound by duty. It was one of the reasons Merlin couldn’t wait to take over the throne so he could help his kingdom out like how his father and mother had done. 

A kingdom that loved their rulers—as much as their rulers loved them back. 

Merlin wondered if Camelot practised the same ideals, and for a while he entertained the thought of it before he pushed it back. It didn’t matter now, did it? He bit his bottom lip as he walked to the bed and stood near it. The prince placed the pyjamas on top of the bed before he looked over his shoulders. The bathroom door was still closed shut.

With that in mind, he breathed out and turned to sit on the bed. He touched the soft beddings before he started to bounce a bit. A childish grin fitted on his face when he realised how bouncy the bed was. He resisted the urge to get on his feet and whole-heartedly jump on it. His cheeks reddened at the thought before he let his body fall on the mattress. He sighed as he felt the soft bed trying to drag him in. The tiredness from the long day started to make him sleepy. His eyes slipped closed and he decided to take a nap while he waited for Arthur to come out of the bathroom.

What was seconds, turned into minutes and before he realised it—he had fallen asleep. He only woke up when he felt a gentle touch to his cheek, shaking him awake. Merlin opened his eyes after a while and blinked, feeling groggy. His limbs felt heavy and he wasn’t aware of what was happening. 

He noticed a pair of blue eyes, filled with mirth, looking at him. “What?” Merlin mumbled. He felt the gentle touch leave his cheek and he scrunched his eyebrows in protest. That touch had been warm and he liked it. Why did it move? He raised his hands to grab the warmth back when the face clicked in his mind. 

Immediately sober, he sat up and his cheeks reddened, eyes wide. Arthur had taken a step back, a towel over his shoulders. He was dressed in his pyjama pants and white shirt, his blond hair now a mess. “Hi,” Arthur said with a grin. 

Merlin looked at the bed before he grabbed the pyjamas, embarrassment flooded into him. “I—seem to be tired,” Merlin said, trying to keep what remained of his dignity intact. He heard Arthur chuckle a bit and he looked at the King, eyes narrowed and a heavy frown on his lips. “What’s so funny?”

Arthur cleared his throat and shook his head. “Nothing,” he said before another smile crawled onto his lips. “You just looked adorable sleeping.”

Merlin’s face turned red as he stood up and glared at the man standing in front of him. He held his pyjamas in a tight grip. “Are you making fun of me?” Merlin snapped. Arthur lost the amusement on his face as he looked at Merlin in the eyes before he shook his head, seriousness coloured his face. 

“I’m not,” he said. Merlin frowned before he looked away. “Merlin, I’m not.”

“I’m going to the bathroom,” Merlin said and walked past him to get there. He heard Arthur sigh but he didn’t dare to look at him. He closed the door shut and leaned against it, taking a deep breath. He scoffed at the thought that Arthur might find him—adorable. His face once more heated at that. 

_Nonsense_. 

Arthur simply said that to keep him from feeling unwanted. Merlin glanced at himself in the bathroom mirror and realised he looked—cuddly. Hair messed up and clothes wrinkled. It made him look like a child. His cheeks warmed even more as his heart started to thunder in his chest. 

Was that what Arthur meant? He had looked like a child, hence why he was adorable?

Merlin frowned.

He was not a child!

Merlin sighed and shook his head. He should just grab a shower and head to bed.

 

***

 

When Merlin came out of the bathroom, he felt refreshed and a hell lot more tired. He walked to the bed and noticed that Arthur had settled on the couch. Merlin bit his inner cheek, wondering if he should say goodnight. Just as he was about to open his mouth, he saw Arthur sitting up before he looked at Merlin, his eyes slightly dim. 

He gave a cautious smile before he sighed. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologised. Merlin’s eyebrows furrowed in slight confusion. “I didn’t mean to make fun of you. I’m sorry.”

Oh, Arthur was apologising. Merlin’s eyes widened and something about the apology made his lips tipped into a smile. His heart thumped against his chest, that sudden tight feeling in his chest faded away. “It’s…fine. I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

Arthur shook his head before he shrugged. Merlin tipped his head towards his pillows and Arthur nodded, a smile gracing his lips. “Night,” Arthur said as he leaned back down on his couch. Merlin watched him for a second before he buried himself underneath the sheets and turned the lights off from the bedside lamp. The room darkened. 

The prince lied on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Arthur hadn’t seen him as a child then. That thought made him feel better from before—and he was unsure as to why. This entire day he had been having mixed feelings about the King. There had been times when he felt safe like when he was about to have his first kiss with him and then, there was the promise he made before they left the banquet hall. 

There had been times when Merlin felt cautious of him as well, like with their talk at the hallway. 

And now, he felt content and grateful that Arthur hadn’t looked down at him, not even once. 

Merlin furrowed his eyebrows before he turned his back from the couch and closed his eyes. Maybe it was normal to feel so conflicted after all. He had been through a lot these past few days. 

Hopefully, Merlin would get hold of his emotions soon. This loss of control of his own life had made him feel like a mess inside. 

With that thought, he took in a deep breath and willed himself to sleep.

 

***

 

The next morning, he had woken up to Arthur stumbling into the bathroom. He blinked away the tiredness as he stared at the closed bathroom door. For a while, he let himself just drift in this haziness before he yawned and rubbed his face. He felt the cold touch of his wedding ring on his cheek, causing the prince to be more alert. Merlin pulled his hands away from his face and looked at his left hand. 

In broad daylight, when the morning light filtered through the gaps from the windows, the silver ring looked beautiful, glinting. It felt powerful in his hands as well when his eyes caught on the Camelot symbol engraved on the top of the ring. It was to symbolise he was now a part of Camelot. Merlin suspected Arthur had Ealdor’s emblem carved on his ring. 

It felt light on his hand and yet, the thing it represented was big. 

“Do you like it?” Arthur’s voice broke Merlin’s concentration from his musing. The prince immediately dropped his hand to his sides and looked at Arthur, who had walked out of the bathroom looking freshened up and changed.

“Excuse me?” Merlin asked, his voice cracked. He cleared his throat and sat up, the sheets pooled at his waist. He folded his hands on his lap and looked at Arthur. 

“The ring,” Arthur asked, a smile tugged on his lips. “Did you like it? I—designed it. Well, I asked it to be designed that way.”

Merlin looked back at his ring and twirled it around. “It’s…nice. Do you have my kingdom’s emblem on your ring?”

Arthur grinned before he walked to where Merlin was, standing at the edge of the bed. He held out his left hand and tilted it a bit so Merlin could see his ring. There it was—Ealdor’s emblem on the ring. Merlin was mesmerised at the image and gently touched the carving with his index finger. Merlin pulled away after a second before he looked up to see the King.

Merlin’s breath hitched when he noticed how warm those bright blue eyes were. His heart skipped a beat in his chest as he looked away, clearing his throat, willing himself not to blush. “We should head for breakfast,” Arthur said, his voice became gentle. Merlin nodded as he pushed himself to stand up. 

He felt vulnerable standing there, in front of Arthur, wearing his pyjamas. He felt his neck flushing as he wrapped his arms around himself. “I’ll just, uh, change then,” Merlin said awkwardly, hoping Arthur would move. 

“Oh! Sure, I’ll head for breakfast first,” Arthur said. “One of the maids will get you there after you’re ready—unless you want me to wait for you?”

Merlin shook his head and glanced at the King, giving him a nervous smile. “It’s fine. You go on first.”

Arthur nodded before he turned around to leave. Once the doors closed, Merlin dropped his hands to his sides and sighed in relief. He touched his chest and thumped it once, frowning. “Time to get your day started, Merlin,” he said to himself as he walked to the cupboard.

 

***

 

The walk to the dining hall wasn’t that long. The walk was pleasant too, Merlin had a chance to greet the maids as they passed by and even asked them questions when he saw something they carried that he didn’t recognise. The maids and workers were friendly and they didn’t look down on him like how Merlin thought they would. 

When he reached the dining room, his mother was already there with Gaius. Arthur had been sitting in front of them, talking. He stopped to look at Merlin when the prince walked in before he stood up, smiling softly at him. “Good morning,” Merlin said, smiling when his eyes landed on his mother who had turned to look.

Hunith smiled before she stood up, holding her hands out to give Merlin a hug. Merlin hugged her back tightly before he pulled away. She caressed his hair for a bit before she let her son go. The prince then looked at Gaius and smiled as well. The old man smiled back, his eyes twinkling before he gestured for Merlin to go and take a seat. 

Merlin nodded and walked to stand next to Arthur. The King pulled a chair out for Merlin and the prince raised his eyebrows at the courtesy. “Sit,” Arthur said with a playful smile. Merlin nodded before he sat down, adjusting his seat before Arthur took a seat as well. 

“Your kingdom is truly beautiful, Arthur,” Hunith said as she continued to eat her breakfast. Merlin was served breakfast and he thanked the maid before he dug in, hungry. He didn’t particularly join the conversation, but he kept his ears open anyway. 

“Thank you, and I hope one day I’ll be able to visit Ealdor and marvel at its beauty too,” Arthur said and Merlin felt a swell of pride at the mention of his kingdom. “We should also talk about how I want to send help to rebuild your kingdom.”

Merlin looked at his mother, who tilted her head to the side a bit. “I will put a large amount of trust on you, Arthur, for my son and my kingdom’s safety. We may discuss this after breakfast, will that be alright?”

“Of course,” Arthur said and nodded before he glanced at Merlin. “Would you like to join our discussion?”

Merlin had wanted to, of course, it was his kingdom they were talking about—but one look from his mother and he knew he shouldn’t. His mother was the Queen of Ealdor. He was just the prince. He was not entitled to join these types of discussions as of yet. 

“No, it’s fine,” Merlin said. “My mother knows best.”

Arthur smiled at Merlin and for a minute, Merlin thought the King was about to lean in and kiss him. His heart raced and his cheeks reddened as he looked away to his soup. He clenched a hand on his thigh as he continued to eat, remembering the way Arthur’s lips had felt against his. 

Ah, stop it! What was wrong with him? He was acting so confusing. 

“If you could show me to the library, I would be fine,” Merlin said after a spoonful of the soup. It calmed him down a bit for him to talk but he wasn’t looking at Arthur, keeping his eyes glued on the soup. 

“Of course, I’ll personally show you to the library,” Arthur said, his voice kind. Merlin refused to look at him and looked at his mother instead, who was watching him like a hawk. Her eyes twinkled in a way that made Merlin conscious about himself. His face blazed red when his mother’s eyebrows raised and a self-indulgent smile fitted on her lips. 

“Merlin loves to read,” she said, looking at the King. “He self-taught how to use his magic before his father and instructors could teach him to do so.”

“Mother,” Merlin started, embarrassed. 

Hunith, however, only smiled brightly. “He was only seven years old before he mastered one of the hardest spells that his father could only do at the age of twelve.”

Before Merlin could protest, in fear that Arthur might be uncomfortable with the notion of magic, Arthur had leaned forward, his entire demeanour changing into something akin to curiosity and awe. “Really?” he asked and looked at Merlin. 

His blue eyes sparkled in what seemed like hopefulness. “Will you let me see your magic one day?”

Merlin was taken aback at the question and from how satisfied his mother had looked right then, he realised that Arthur had been tested just now. By reminding Arthur that Merlin was a child of magic, she was gauging Arthur’s reaction to see if he was still telling the truth. 

And he was. 

Merlin realised, Arthur was genuinely interested to know more about his magic. “You—would watch me practise my magic?”

“Yes,” Arthur said without hesitation. “If you would let me.”

Merlin felt his heart flutter at that and he knew his entire body was flushed. He felt shy and awkward, unsure of what to say. He only mutely nodded and then, Arthur smiled big. It was a bright smile, a smile that had Merlin reeling from the sheer light of it. His heart gave another loud thump and he became so very confused at these feelings. 

He gave Arthur a weak smile before he looked to the soup and continued to eat. The conversation then resumed between Arthur and Hunith, occasionally Gaius would join in to give his opinions but Merlin kept quiet, content to just listen in to the discussion. 

His mind was still reeling from the thought that Arthur, the King of Camelot, his—husband, had wanted to see him practise magic. There was no disgust in those eyes, just curiosity. Merlin didn’t know how he truly felt about this. Arthur had successfully confused his feelings about him. 

There was some suspicion that Arthur merely did this to suck it up to his mother, but immediately as the thought entered his mind, he felt guilty about it. Arthur looked like someone who couldn’t do the two-faced persona well. 

Merlin glanced at the King a few times as he tried to learn more about the man he had married to. Gauging his reactions to everything and anything. Yet, no matter how long he looked, he just couldn’t find the disgust that Arthur should have shown. Sure, Merlin could use his magic and seek out the real emotions in Arthur’s mind—but he was never manipulative or conniving, especially when Arthur’s eyes were like a clear window to his thoughts.

The prince bit his bottom lip as he finished his soup. 

Interesting.

 

***

 

The library was big.

Glee wormed into Merlin’s chest as he walked passed aisles and aisles of books. There were so many books here and the prince couldn’t help but want to get reading them already. Were the books here the same as the one he got back home? Merlin hummed before he stopped at aisle that was labelled as _Magic & Sorcery_.

Merlin’s eyes widened as he took a cautious step into that particular aisle. He looked at the books, picking one out, eyes widening even more when he realised he was touching an ancient magic texts. He quickly put it back on the shelves and turned to look at Arthur, who had quietly followed him into the aisle. 

The King looked slightly nervous, hands in his pants pockets, staring seriously at Merlin. 

“These are books about sorcery,” Merlin said before he pointed to the book he took out a moment ago. “That’s an ancient text about magic.”

Arthur nodded before he pulled one hand out of his pockets and scratched the back of his neck. “I wanted to make you feel comfortable—so I enquired Gaius about what books you would need to practise your magic and such. He recommended some of these. The rest—well…Camelot used to be a kingdom of magic before the banning, and while remodelling the library—I found the rest sealed away. I brought them out.”

Merlin held back the sudden rush of warmth that flooded him. He looked away from Arthur to the books again, touching their spines gently. “You did all of this…for me?” he asked, sounding awed and disbelieved. 

“Yes,” Arthur said. “I did. I told you I would do anything in my power to keep you happy, didn’t I?”

“I still don’t get it,” Merlin said as he turned to look at the King once more. Arthur raised his eyebrows before he nodded, asking Merlin to continue. “No matter what I am to this treaty—”

“You’re my consort,” Arthur insisted. “You’re not a pawn, didn’t I tell you that yesterday?”

“You say so,” Merlin began as he crossed his arms. “But I’m pretty sure not many people would agree, Arthur. No matter what, I am a pawn in this treaty. All of this is—you went through all this trouble just because for me? I don’t get it. Why? We barely even know each other!”

Arthur remained quiet for a while before he sighed. He then decided to lean against one of the shelves before he slid down to the floor. He patted on the floor next to him and looked up at Merlin. “Sit with me,” he said. 

Merlin frowned before he did, sitting next to him on the carpeted floor. “Well?” Merlin asked, tilting his body slightly to face Arthur.

“You talked about dreams,” Arthur said as he looked at Merlin, the back of his head resting against the shelves. “You told me about your dreams to fall in love with someone. Said you wanted to meet someone and fall in love with them. You remember that?”

Merlin nodded. It was just a fleeting thought in Merlin’s head at that time, but he had to let Arthur know about it. Had to let the King know what he was taking away from Merlin. “But…what does that have to do with this?”

Arthur smiled a bit before the smile faltered. “I wanted to give you that dream.”

Merlin furrowed his eyebrows, unsure of what Arthur was trying to say. Silence filled in between them before he realised what Arthur implied. His entire face reddened as he looked at the King properly in the eyes. “You want me to fall in love with you?”

Arthur looked at his lap and took in a deep breath, running his fingers through his blond hair. “I want you to feel love, yes, with me. I…We’re married. I don’t want a loveless marriage, do you?”

Merlin looked at him for a second before he said, “Is that all then? Just to make me fall for you? With presents and pleasantries—admiring my powers and wishing to see them in person—because you don’t want to be in a loveless marriage?”

Arthur immediately looked at him before his lips thinned. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

Merlin scoffed as he stood up, glaring down at Arthur. “I’m not a child. Don’t treat me like one. You just wanted someone who can worship the ground you walk on, falling head to heels in love so they could do whatever you wanted, isn’t that right? Is that what this entire marriage is then? To have me wrapped around your finger like some—”

“No!” Arthur exclaimed as he stood up, eyes narrowed at Merlin. “God, no! I meant—I meant that it would be nice if we could fall in love—with each other—”

“Nice?” Merlin asked, scathingly. “Look here, my King, nothing about this is _nice_! Our marriage is nothing more than a diplomatic move to keep my kingdom intact.”

“Is it?” Arthur challenged as he took a step forward at Merlin. “I refused to see it that way. I refused to let this—us—become meaningless.”

“There’s no us!” Merlin yelled. Anger flamed in his chest. “How dare you even try and buy my feelings!”

“I’m not!” Arthur said as he took another step forward. “I’m trying to make you happy. I want to see you happy. You’re married to me. You mean something to me, Merlin.”

“Bullshit,” Merlin said. “You lie. You all lie. There’s no us. There’ll never _be_ an us. Forget trying to worm yourself into my mother’s heart like you’re some goddamn saint! You know you aren’t!”

“This is not fair,” Arthur said lowly. “It’s not fair you blame me for what my father did!”

“I blame this entire kingdom,” Merlin said, his back plastered against the shelves, breathing harshly as his eyes prickled. “This place—this kingdom took away someone I loved! And nothing is going to change that!”

“Merlin,” Arthur said, the once frustration slipped away. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what my father did. But I’m trying to make it better. I know it can’t erase what happened—but I’m trying. It’s not easy, Merlin.”

“Then stop,” Merlin said, his voice wavered. “Don’t. I don’t want you anywhere near Ealdor. I don’t want your army helping out. I can’t trust you. Don't do these things just because you want to make me fall for you. It’s not going to happen.”

“No,” Arthur said as he took in a deep breath. “I’m not going to let us be miserable. I genuinely want to help your kingdom and if you don’t trust me—fine, just watch. Watch me as I help. And I might not make you love me, but I will goddamn try.”

“Will you?” Merlin asked, rubbing his face as he glared at his husband. “Can you fall for me then? You’re so adamant to making me happy, making me love you—what about you? Can you love a magic user?”

Arthur frowned as he took another step forward and Merlin realised a bit too late that Arthur had breached his personal space. They were just inches apart. Another small step and Arthur would be flushed against him. The prince’s face flushed as he tried to inch backwards, only for his back to dig into the shelves. 

“Just because you’re a magic user, doesn’t mean it’s not possible for me to love you,” Arthur said, his eyes sincere and serious. Merlin had wanted to scoff at that but he was too busy trying to keep a distance. Arthur then closed the distance and Merlin gasped when their chests touched. 

“What are you doing?” Merlin asked, eyes wide. He placed the palms of his hands against Arthur’s shoulder, ready to push him off. For some reason though, he felt familiar trickles of warmth rushing into his body before he felt safe. Confused and enraged at this feeling, he dug his nails into Arthur’s shoulders—noticing the wince that passed Arthur’s face. 

“Do you want me to move?” Arthur asked. Merlin raised his eyebrows before he sighed and leaned the back of his head against the shelves, staring at the King. 

“I,” Merlin began but he noticed that the King wasn’t making a move. In fact, he was gauging Merlin’s reactions closely. As if trying to find the discomfort in the prince’s face. “I don’t understand you at all, you prat,” Merlin said and Arthur gave him a bashful smile. 

“Nobody ever does,” he said and shrugged. “I can, you know. Love you.”

Merlin stifled a groan at that and just looked at his hands touching Arthur’s shoulders. “I don’t know if I can believe you.”

“Give me a chance,” Arthur said as he placed a gentle hand against Merlin’s cheek, startling the prince. The King then slowly caressed his cheek, coaxing him to look at Arthur in the eyes. Merlin’s face heated as he realised how close they were. 

“I don’t know if I should,” Merlin said, his voice seemed slow and careful. “What if—what if I’m wrong? What if I trusted you wrong?”

“I won’t betray you,” Arthur promised. “I would never hurt you.”

“You say it now,” Merlin said under his breath, feeling slightly breathless. “But how can I be sure?”

“Teach me,” Arthur said, catching Merlin off guard with his request. “Teach me about your magic, about your past, about your kingdom. Let me learn about you. And I’ll do the same.”

Merlin searched his eyes, feeling a strong urge to trace the eyebrows and eyelashes. “Even if I want to know about all your deepest darkest secrets?”

“Even that,” Arthur said with an amused smile. “Though I doubt I have any.”

“Oh?” Merlin said. He realised he had gone from shouting defensively at his husband to this—banter. Arthur nodded before he touched one of Merlin’s hands. He grasped them and brought them to his chest, gently touching the fingers. Merlin watched mesmerised as he felt Arthur’s soft hands caressing his. 

Slowly, Arthur brought the tips of Merlin’s fingers against his lips and kissed them. The prince’s breath hitched but he didn’t pull away, feeling almost lightweight. “Are you trying to woo me now?” Merlin asked, though he sounded incoherent. 

Arthur grinned but it looked boyish, innocent. “Is it working?” he asked. 

The prince gave out a breathless chuckle, confused, unsure. “I’m not…sure.”

Arthur dimmed his grin into a soft smile before he leaned in close and kissed the prince’s forehead. Then, he pulled away, taking a few steps back to give Merlin room to breathe. “Show me your magic soon, okay?” Arthur said as Merlin held himself back from falling to the ground. His knees were weak and his heart was thundering against his chest. 

“I won’t hold back,” Merlin warned once he got enough strength and sanity back in his mind. “I won’t hold back casting my magic.”

Arthur simply shrugged, he didn’t even look alarmed. “I hope not. I want to see your full potential. Mesmerise me.”

Merlin blinked at the King, unsure how to react to that. 

“I have to go now, meeting with your mother,” Arthur said before he waved around the room. “Enjoy the books. I hope you like it. Join me for lunch later?”

“Lunch?” Merlin asked before he shook his head and nodded. “Yeah, later.”

Arthur smiled before he took another step forward. He seemed like he wanted to touch Merlin again, but at last, he dropped his hands to his sides and gestured his leave. Merlin watched him leave, confused and yet feeling strangely warm inside. He had felt safe in the blond’s arms. 

He liked being near Arthur like that and those promises—he felt excited to know that Arthur might actually follow through them. He sure as hell did just now. What was happening to him?

One moment he had tried his best to push Arthur and the next, he was trapped between Arthur and the shelves, wondering what it would feel like with his body touching firmly against his. His heart started to act up whenever Arthur was close too. 

It was like he lost himself, lost the reason why he should hate the King, when he did things like this. Even when he tried to, Arthur managed to wipe his brain clean. He shook his head from the thoughts. 

Merlin looked around the quiet aisle now, taking one book out of the shelves. His heart started to beat loudly against his chest again as bit his bottom lip from smiling when he recognised the books he used to read from home.

Arthur had put a lot of effort in this—all for him. 

So much effort. To make him fall for the King. To love him—to love each other. His cheeks reddened at that thought and something in him started to fear that it might happen. Would Merlin want to love the King? 

Would it be worth it?

He didn’t know.

For now, though, Merlin thought it was safe to believe Arthur’s words after all—even if it was just a bit of it. 

The King had promised he would try his best. 

Merlin would wait for his best then. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: Uhm. Yeah. Hello. Hi. Right. I have no excuse. Period. Literally. I actually had some writer's block so I couldn't write anything much but here you go! The next chapter! I hope you guys like it! And oh--yeah, I'm changing the tag Light Angst to just...Angst. Hah! I realised I can't write happy fluffy stories without adding angst in it, so...I'm sorry! I hope you guys like it anyway! 
> 
> Thank you to those who have read, commented, bookmarked and subscribed as well as those who gave this story kudos! Until next chapter! -Krystal
> 
> _Will I know I’ve made it then? It’s so hard, so can we skip to the good part? — Good Part (AJR)_

 

 

 

Merlin had to admit. He was nervous. He looked at Arthur, who only looked back at him with raised eyebrows. Merlin had come to the dining hall expecting to see the King but hadn’t expected him to be pulled away from there the second he got there. He then quietly followed Arthur, unsure of what to expect until Arthur had brought him to the rose gardens. 

They continued to walk in silence while Merlin began to get curious at what Arthur was trying to do. Then, there, right past all the rose bushes laid a small circle of land cleared with nothing but an apple tree, standing large. 

Immediately, Merlin spotted a chequered blanket under the apple tree and food laid out on it. It didn’t take a genius for Merlin to figure out what was happening after that. His heart had given a treacherous thump at it and his face reddened a bit. 

“A picnic?” Merlin asked, his voice dripping of sarcasm. Arthur only gave him a smile before he rolled his eyes and sat on the blanket. 

“Come sit down,” he said. Merlin pursued his lips before he sat next to Arthur, keeping a distance. Arthur then handed him a plate of roasted chicken and mashed potatoes. Merlin held back a smile at that and took the cutleries from Arthur with a small thanks uttered under his breath. 

The breeze that caressed his face smelt of roses and it calmed him down. He felt the tension slipping off his shoulders as he leaned against the tree. He glanced up and noticed that there were some apples hanging right at the branches above him. He contemplated for a second if it would drop on his face and then shook the thought away. 

“When do you usually practise magic?” Arthur asked, cutting through the comfortable silence. 

Merlin glanced at him before he shrugged. “Whenever I feel like I want to, to be honest,” he breathed out, not mentioning to Arthur that he hadn’t been practicing magic so much since his father died. It was like his magic refused to will with his wishes. Sometimes, they would flow smoothly with the spells and most of the times, it did the complete opposite. 

Merlin still remembered how his magic had flared and lashed out when he heard the news his father died. His mother’s own magic started to lash out as well, the familial bond they had with his father broken into pieces. He glanced at Arthur again before he looked back to his food. 

He didn’t know how Arthur would take it if he knew—he knew that wizards or people like him usually relied on magic a lot more than they did with swords and shields. Their magic was their life, like a part of their soul, part of who they were. Their magic binds every connection they make and it forms a bond with the person they care about. 

And a magic bond was strong, unbreakable unless by death and useful in so many ways. Merlin had grown up with the thought that he would fall in love one day with someone he liked and they would bond through their magic, through their souls. 

It was supposed to be romantic, it was supposed to be symbolic. 

But he couldn’t tell Arthur that and he would keep it away from the King. Someone who never practiced magic wouldn’t know about this, would never know about it. They didn’t have a magic core that would call out to them to try and bond with someone they deemed was the love of their life or was too important to them. 

They wouldn’t understand. It was enough that some people viewed magic-users to be evil and bewitching. If they knew about this magical bonds, there would be even more hate. They would think that this magical tie would be like controlling someone’s will or mind when in reality, it wasn’t like that at all.

It was supposed to be a connective string between two people who cared about each other, albeit romantically or not. It was supposed to act like a warm blanket on someone they bonded with. It did nothing more than sharing the love they would feel for one another. 

People loved to hate what they couldn’t understand. 

People loved to accuse a majority for the fault of minority. 

People—Merlin thought—were mostly judgemental to the things they refused to make time to understand. 

It was life. It was just another part of his life. 

“Is that so?” Arthur said, bringing Merlin back to reality. He blinked and looked at his plate, realising he had finished the food. He placed the empty plate next to him with the used forks on the plate. He looked at Arthur, who only looked back at him with questioning blue eyes. 

“Is what so?” Merlin asked, slightly sheepish at the fact that he had made a blatant display of his daydreaming. 

“Your magic practicing schedule,” Arthur said with a wave of his hand. “You don’t practice with a schedule.”

“I don’t,” Merlin said. “Magic can’t be forced. It’s—special and it’s a part of you. It follows what you feel.”

Arthur listened quietly before he placed his own plate of food, half-empty, next to him with a sigh. Merlin knew what he was trying to ask but Merlin wasn’t sure how to answer him without coming out sounding mean or cold. 

“I feel unmotivated lately,” Merlin said, answering Arthur’s unasked question. “I feel dull.”

“Is it…,” Arthur said, his voice trailing off and Merlin watched how the King winced. 

“Yeah,” Merlin said with a shallow sigh. “It’s just how it is. My magic is a part of me. But lately…I feel like it’s more of a burden than anything.”

“Merlin,” Arthur began, his eyebrows furrowing. “Everything will be fine again. I can’t turn back time and save your father—but I will make it up to you and your kingdom—your mother—for what had happened.”

Merlin gave him a sad smile. “You know what’s terrifying?”

Arthur looked at him curiously. 

Merlin turned to look at him properly in his eyes. “Is that some part of me—believes you.”

Arthur gave him a wary smile, cautiousness in his eyes. “I won’t betray you. I will tell you however many times you want to hear it.”

“So accommodating,” Merlin said. Arthur only continued to smile. Merlin went back to leaning against the tree and then glanced up, his attention landing on one of the apples hanging off by its stalk, looking like it was ready to fall. Merlin looked at Arthur and then back at the apple, raising his right hand. “Is it okay to pick an apple from this tree?”

Arthur looked at the apple tree and then nodded. “Yeah.” His eyes softened a bit when he looked at the prince. “Should I call someone to pick the apple?”

“No,” Merlin said before he sat straighter, clearing his throat. “You said you wanted to look at how magic works.”

Arthur looked slightly confused before his eyes widened when Merlin raised his hands. “Do it,” he breathed out, his blue eyes suddenly shone—anticipation in the irises. Merlin felt his breath catching in his throat at that look, warmth filled his body. 

The look on the King’s face looked genuine. It didn’t look fake and Merlin’s heart started to pick up pace in his chest. Looking at his hands, he took in a deep breath and nodded. Ignoring the thumping sounds that he could hear, he looked at the apple he wanted. 

He waved his hands around and breathed out a spell, barely a whisper and his eyes flashed gold. He felt his magic wrapping around his fingers, almost sticky for a second before they loosened and left his body. It felt freer a bit and Merlin smiled at that. He felt his magic reaching the apple and then the apple picked itself off from the branch, floating gently down and landing on his outstretched palms. 

Merlin didn’t know why he felt touched, but when his magic started to coo, he felt his eyes watering. He hadn’t felt his magic coo in a while and he was relieved to know that somewhere in him, he didn’t lose the connection he had with his father completely. 

“Wow,” he heard Arthur say. He quickly looked at the King, his cheeks flushing red when he saw the look of awe on his face. Arthur’s face then broke into pure excitement as he pointed at the apple. “That was incredible, Merlin.”

Merlin fidgeted under his stare and gave him a tentative weak smile. “It’s just a small spell,” he said. 

“Still,” Arthur said. “It’s…And your eyes, they turned gold.”

“My magic’s gold,” Merlin said as his thumbs caressed the apple. “For compassion and love.”

“They suit you then,” Arthur said. Merlin gave him a chuckle at that. 

“I think they suit me fine,” Merlin said with a shrug. “Not the best colour to represent me, though.”

Arthur tilted his head a bit. “And what colour do you see yourself having?”

Merlin hummed under his breath. He had thought about that question so many times. When he first learned his magic was gold, he had immediately gone to look for the meaning of his colour. He hadn’t liked any of the meaning, feeling like it wasn’t him, not really. 

But a magic’s colour often described their hosts’ real personality and they were never wrong. Funny how Merlin couldn’t believe what his magic colour meant about himself. 

_‘Gold also means power. Power that you have inherited and worked hard for. A power that one day you’ll use for your own kingdom. And knowing you, you’ll use it for the good and never the evil,’_ his father had said to him when he told him how he disliked his magic’s colour. 

Merlin believed him. And for that sole reason, he had tried to like his magic’s colour. He, at the end, learned to accept it. He wasn’t a hundred percent happy with it, but he was alright with it as well. 

“Green,” Merlin said. “I see myself having green for my magic.”

Arthur glanced at him before he nodded once. “Green means compassionate and a need to belong.”

Merlin looked at him, slightly astonished at him. “Yes. How did you know?”

“While I was looking through the books I found in the library,” Arthur said. “I found the books about the magic core.”

Merlin tensed a bit. He knew which book Arthur was referring to—and in that same book, it talked about magic bonds. He bit his inner cheek from immediately asking Arthur about it and let him talk. 

“The section about colours attracted my attention,” Arthur said. “I kind of memorised it by accident.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking at Merlin with a sheepish smile on his face. Merlin blinked at him at that before he shook his head. “How did you accidentally memorised that?”

“It stood out to me,” Arthur said with a soft smile. “That magic is more about a person than it could be.”

“Of course,” Merlin said. “Is that all you read from the book?”

“Yeah,” Arthur answered. “I only read that page.”

Merlin felt the small tight coil in his chest loosening at that. 

“Here,” Merlin said as he handed the apple to Arthur. “I don’t feel like eating this after all.”

Arthur took the apple and caressed it like how Merlin had done. “This apple tree was planted by my mother.”

Merlin’s eyes widened at that. “I—I’m sorry, if I’ve known—”

“It’s alright,” Arthur said, cutting him off. “It’s just—I always come around to this tree whenever I had a bad day or if I missed her. It’s my special place. I guess this tree feels like the only connection I have with my mother.”

Merlin chewed his bottom lip a bit, furrowing his eyebrows. “Why did you bring me here, then?”

“To show you my secrets,” Arthur said. “I promised to tell you about them, didn’t I?”

Merlin’s heart once more squeezed in his chest at that. Arthur’s face was earnest, nothing suspicious about them at all. “Thank you,” Merlin said and looked to his hands. The gentle breeze that smelt like roses caressed his face again as they sat there. 

“You’re welcome,” Arthur whispered.

 

 

***

 

 

“Goodbye, mum,” Merlin said as she stood in front of him, her eyes warm and soft even though there was some traces of sadness in them. Merlin gave her an assuring smile even though he felt sad as well to leave her side. She touched his shoulders and squeezed them before she dragged Merlin into a bone-crushing hug, to which Merlin returned with the same intensity. 

“Stay safe,” his mother said. “Stay proud of who you are and stay happy.”

“I’ll miss you,” Merlin whispered against her shoulder. 

“And I’ll miss you,” she said, a hand touching the back of his head and fingers running through his hair. 

“I’ll try and visit you often,” Merlin promised. 

“I’m sure you will,” Hunith said, amused slightly. “You’re a mama’s boy, aren’t you?”

“You’re the only family I have left,” Merlin said as he buried his face against her shoulder. She stiffed a bit before she relaxed in his embrace. Merlin felt her lips grazing his temples. 

“I love you,” she said, her voice sounded strained, a telltale sign that she was about to cry. “You’ll always be my son first, a prince second.”

“I love you too, mum,” Merlin said as he took in a shuddering breath, realising that this might be the last time in a long while until he would be able to smell her flowery scent again. With one last kiss on his head, Hunith pulled away, pushing Merlin gently away. 

The prince looked at her and gave her a watery smile. Hunith’s eyes were wet, tears threatened to fall down before she wiped them away. “Take care of my son, Arthur,” she said as her eyes landed on the King standing next to Merlin. 

“Always,” Arthur promised her. Hunith took in a deep breath and nodded. With that, Merlin watched his mother and Gaius leaving Camelot, leaving him right next to Arthur. He sighed as he watched them leave, car driving away until he couldn’t see them anymore. 

It suddenly felt lonely. 

“Come on,” Arthur said as he placed a hand on Merlin’s shoulder, softly pulling him away from staring to the distance. “We could grab something to eat, how about that?”

“I,” Merlin began and then looked at the King. “I think I’ll just go to the library.”

Arthur pulled his hand away, a look of understanding on his face. He nodded before he rubbed the back of his neck. “Feel free to look for me if you’re feeling…lonely. I’ll be at the office. If you want something to eat, you can ask one of the maids to fetch you something.”

“Alright,” Merlin said, giving him a wary smile. Arthur hesitated a bit before he eyed the prince one last time and walked back into the castle. Merlin heaved out a breath when Arthur was finally gone, glancing back at the horizon where his mother would probably be driving into and then walked back into the castle. 

With ease, Merlin had memorised the path to the library. It was his haven in this foreign land and he was glad Arthur had given him this place. It eased his uneasiness and calmed his worries whenever he was there. 

Merlin felt himself sighing when he walked into the library, heading straight to the magical artefacts that were stored at the magic aisle. He scanned through the books and scrolls before he found one to read. The book caught his attention. It looked smaller and thinner from the other books on the shelves. Instead of the usual brown or black cover, it was light purple in colour. 

The prince frowned as he took the book from the shelf, fingering the edges of the soft cover. This was not a spell book, he thought when he flipped through the pages. It looked more like a journal. There were words written on the pages in a delicate scrawl, almost feminine. Merlin closed the book and wondered briefly if he shouldn’t read it. 

Curiosity though was asking him to read the book anyway. It wasn’t as if anybody was around to see him read it. He felt guilty at that thought as he continued to debate with himself, holding the book tight in his hands. With a defeated sigh, he took the book with him when he walked out of the aisle, heading to one of the couches that were placed in front of the fireplace. 

Merlin sat down on the couch, bringing his legs closer to his chest before crossing them on the soft cushion. The prince felt like he could fall asleep from how plush the cushions were against his body. Shaking that thought from his mind, he grabbed a pillow from next to him and placed it on his lap, getting ready to read the book. 

He hesitated to actually open the book once he was all settled on the couch. He glanced at the entrance of the library briefly, making sure that the door was closed and then went back to stare at the book that was lying on the pillow. 

“I mean,” Merlin said to himself. “If it’s really a secret, they wouldn’t have placed the book there, would they?”

It sounded like a weak excuse but it still was an excuse Merlin thought worked. With a deep breath, he flipped open the book to the first page, realising it had no name written on it, just the words M.LF written at the corner left of the page. 

Merlin guessed it must be the initials to their name, whoever it was that owned this book. “I hope you don’t mind me reading this, M,” Merlin said as he flipped through more pages. The words were written in detail about this person’s life. At the beginning of the journal, it was as if the person who wrote these was happy, content with their lives. 

Merlin found himself smiling along as he read about their adventures and their experiences. Then, Merlin realised the dates skipped and the tone of the person’s writing changed into melancholy and—sadness. The prince paused when his eyes found a name on the page that he was familiar with. His breath hitched as his curiosity deepened, touching the name with his fingertips. 

“Why is Arthur in here?” Merlin asked, furrowing his eyebrows. The prince continued to read, more pages about Arthur came forward, mostly it was written in a positive light about him—but then it slowly began to worsen. Arthur was seen as an enemy by this person as Merlin continued to read. 

Suddenly, the pages went blank. No more words. The person didn’t continue writing in this book. The last page of what had been written sent dread rushing down Merlin’s spine as he stared at the words. 

The black ink seemed to still look wet even though Merlin knew they were dry. It was like he could feel the anger in the words. The hatred seemed to ooze out from that last page and Merlin slammed the book shut, the sound echoed in the quiet library. 

Merlin hadn’t realised that he was breathing harshly, his heart thumping loudly against his chest. He looked at the book as his fingers trembled, touching the edges. He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat and tossed the book next to him. 

“Who are you?” Merlin breathed out, feeling his magic going slightly haywire inside of him. It didn’t make sense why that last page threw him off like that. It just made him feel sick to his stomach. His magic didn’t like it one bit either, feeling protective of him. 

Merlin glanced at the book and chewed his bottom lip, wondering if Arthur knew this person. He had to, if not why would this person talk about him like they knew him all his or her life? Merlin fidgeted in his seat and then stood up, tossing the pillow on the couch and grabbed the book. 

He hesitated for a second before he shook his head. He would ask Arthur when the time was right. He wasn’t sure if Arthur would have approved of him reading this book or not, so he would ask him later. For now, Merlin went to the shelf where he found the journal and placed it back. He rubbed his hands down his jeans, feeling nervous all of a sudden. 

“I’ll just go and grab something to eat,” Merlin murmured to himself, his eyes still staring at the journal warily. Looking away, he took in a deep breath and walked out of the library, biting his bottom lip as worry started to run through his veins when he recalled the words written on the last page. 

‘ _I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE_.’

 

 

***

 

 

“Oh, sire,” one of the maids said when Merlin walked into the big kitchen. He stood at the doorway awkwardly and waved, smiling at her when she bustled over to where he was. “Are you hungry? Should I make you something?”

Merlin opened his mouth only to close it when she simply shook her head, heading to the refrigerator to pull out some ingredients. “Don’t worry, I’ll cook for you something delicious!” she chirped. 

Amused, Merlin went to take a seat at the one of the empty stools, placing his elbows on the large metallic kitchen counter in the middle of the room. “I didn’t want to bother,” Merlin said. 

She looked over her shoulders and grinned. “Not at all,” she said. “The King said to make you whatever you want. Do you have any preferences?”

“I’m fine with anything,” Merlin told her. “So, you’re the cook here?”

“I’m one of the additional helping hands,” she said. “The cooks went out to this market that sells the best lobsters and crabs. So, they won’t be back anytime soon. Probably they’ll be back for dinner.”

“Oh,” Merlin said. “Well, make me something simple, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course,” she said with a polite nod and went to cook the food. Merlin watched her cook for a while before he breathed out, his mind wandering back to the one called M.LF. Just who was that person who harboured so much hatred? Merlin chewed his bottom lip, fidgeting in his seat once in a while. 

Just then, the cook looked over her shoulders and her eyes landed on the entrance of the kitchen, smiling and bowing. Merlin looked at her before he found himself looking at Arthur, who had walked into the kitchen with a gentle smile on his face. 

“So, you’re here too,” Arthur said as he stood near the counter where Merlin was. 

“Should I make anything for you too, sire?” she asked. Arthur glanced at him and Merlin shrugged, not opposed for company. Arthur nodded at her, grinning once before he sat next to Merlin. 

“I got hungry,” Merlin said, answering Arthur’s previous unasked question. Arthur hummed under his breath as a response. 

“I was going to get you food actually,” Arthur said, looking at Merlin. “I thought if you haven’t eaten yet, I’ll just get you something to eat and find you.”

Merlin felt his heart fluttering at that as he looked away to trace the metallic counter with his fingers. “It’s fine,” Merlin said. “I can find food on my own.”

“Nonsense,” Arthur said. “It’s my duty, isn’t it?”

Merlin didn’t answer him but Arthur didn’t demand it from him either. Just then a plate of spaghetti carbonara was placed in front of the prince, with a fork handed to him. Merlin smiled and thanked her before he looked at Arthur. 

“Eat up,” Arthur told him when Merlin hesitated to take the first bite, feeling like he was being rude when Arthur hadn’t gotten his plate yet. 

“Maybe I should wait,” Merlin said but Arthur simply shook his head, once more smiling warmly at him. Merlin felt his face heat up as he looked at his plate, his heart thundering against his chest once more. “Alright,” he said as he ate his first forkful of spaghetti. 

“How is it?” Arthur asked. Merlin glanced at him before he licked his lips. 

“It tastes great,” he said and then looked at the chef. “You cook well.”

“Thanks, sire,” she said with a giggle that had Merlin smiling. 

“Are you alright?” Arthur asked. Merlin knew what he was referring to and shrugged, twirling his fork around the spaghetti, eyes on the plate. Arthur didn’t say anything as if he was giving Merlin time to think and the prince appreciated that. 

“A bit lonely, yeah,” Merlin admitted at last, his cheeks reddened even more. The cook then placed another plate of spaghetti in front of the King, bowing. 

“If that’s all,” she said and Arthur nodded. 

“We’ll be fine,” Arthur said. “Thanks, Lydia.”

Lydia nodded and then flashed them a smile before she walked out of the kitchen. Merlin looked back to his plate and continued to eat. 

“You can come and talk to me,” Arthur said after a while. “I don’t mind.”

Merlin sighed. “I don’t want to bother you. You have things to do. I do too.”

“True,” Arthur said. “But it doesn’t mean you can’t come to me for anything. I’ll make time.”

“You don’t have to,” Merlin said. “I mean…I have things to study myself.”

“I’m still here for you,” Arthur said as he leaned against the counter. “I know how it feels to be lonely.”

Merlin’s heart squeezed at that. He had forgotten that the King didn’t have an easy life like he did. He kept on forgetting that Arthur didn’t have the same freedom as he had when they were children. Merlin continued to eat, trying to think of a way to answer him. 

“I’m not much of a conversationalist either,” Merlin said, earning a gentle laugh from Arthur. Merlin’s heart skipped a beat at that as warmth once more engulfed him. The prince realised he liked Arthur’s laugh. They sounded kind to his ears. 

“Well, lucky enough,” Arthur said. “I can talk enough for the both of us.”

“Funny, I can see that happening,” Merlin mused, earning another chuckle from his husband. Merlin finished eating his plate and pushed it away from him, deciding he would wash the plate himself. 

“Tell me about yourself,” Arthur said, looking at him. 

“What about myself?” Merlin asked as he stood up, grabbing the plate. Arthur raised his eyebrows at that and Merlin smiled a bit, amused at the indecorous look on the King’s face. 

“What are you doing?” Arthur asked, his eyes following the prince who had walked to the sink. “Are you washing the plates?”

“You don’t have to sound so surprised,” Merlin said, his voice light. “I do know how to do some things around here. Like washing the dishes.”

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows when Merlin glanced at him from over his shoulders. “We have maids for that,” Arthur said, eating another forkful of his spaghetti. Merlin rolled his eyes, not at least surprised that the King had never done chores before. Royalty or not, his mother had always been a strong believer that some sense of discipline was in order to create a well-rounded individual. 

Merlin had chores just like the next kid did. And he realised how important it was as he grew up, realising that those who were privileged rarely had a good heart. Merlin paused at turning the tap on. Arthur was privileged as well—but from what Merlin could see, his husband had a good heart. 

Maybe because of his past, Merlin mused. Maybe the lack of love and freedom had stopped him from being so arrogant and power hungry like his father. 

“My mum never liked the idea of me being lazy,” Merlin said, earning a small ‘hey!’ from Arthur at that. He hid his smile as he washed the plate with a sponge and soap. “She assigned me chores when I was younger.”

“Wow,” Arthur said and Merlin heard the stool scrapping on the floor. “I never had chores.”

“Figures,” Merlin teased. “Spoiled prince like you wouldn’t know the benefits of doing chores.”

“I take offence to that!” Arthur said but he didn’t sound offended, in fact, he sounded amused and happy. Merlin smiled at that tone. “Then, mind washing my plate too?”

Merlin rolled his eyes and looked at the King, who was now standing next to him close. Merlin’s eyes widened when he realised they were only inches away. Arthur’s eyes were close to him, the blue hue in them were bright and dazzling. It took Merlin’s breath away for a second, his heart starting to pick up speed against his chest. 

“Merlin?” Arthur questioned, his lips stretching into a smirk when Merlin looked away to the plate in his hands under the water, his face and the back of his neck reddening. 

“Give it to me,” Merlin griped as he put away his clean plate and grabbing Arthur’s. The King stood by him for a while and Merlin could feel his eyes on him. Suddenly, it felt like the room was ten times hotter. Merlin bit his bottom lip as he tried to shuffle his weight from one foot to the next. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said and Merlin gasped when he felt warmth covering his back and breath grazing the back of his neck. The prince held his breath, freezing, his heart yammering against his chest without mercy, making it hard for him to think. His mind blanked and his grip on the plate tightened. 

“What,” Merlin began, closing his eyes and shuddering a bit when he felt Arthur moving closer, until his husband was flushed against his back and a tentative arm wrapped around his waist and the other placed against the sink counter, trapping him. “Arthur?”

“Is this okay?” Arthur asked, his voice was low but cautious, ready to move and retreat the minute Merlin showed signs of distress. Merlin didn’t know what to think but he felt—safe all of a sudden. The loneliness he had felt moments ago left him and he didn’t know why. 

Even his magic bubbled happily inside and he could feel the wrongness in his magic starting to right itself—as if Arthur was fixing him. He never felt this way before and it started to terrify him. But he didn’t want to move. 

“Uhm,” Merlin said, voice choked in his throat, his face burning. “O—Okay.”

He felt Arthur freezing for a second before he relaxed and then moulded his chest against Merlin’s back completely. They were plastered together and Merlin shuddered again, letting the arm around his waist tighten a fraction before another arm joined it. 

The prince himself relaxed against the embrace, taking in a deep breath, realising that Arthur low-key smelt like flowers. It soothed his sense and he opened his eyes a bit, feeling secure and safe. “Tell me to move if you don’t feel comfortable, okay?” Arthur said, his voice whispered against Merlin’s neck. 

“Okay,” Merlin said, his voice shaky. He felt Arthur nuzzling against his hair and he liked the feeling of warmth wrapping itself around his chest. He felt—wanted and cherished and he felt himself craving more of it. Why was he acting this way?

He pushed that thought away and continued to wash the plate. After he had put away that plate as well, he let Arthur hold him like this for a few minutes longer, no one speaking, just standing there in the warmth. 

Arthur then started to pull away and Merlin—embarrassingly—made a whining sound at the back of his throat. Immediately, the prince slapped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide and face flushed. What the hell was that?

Arthur stopped moving at that noise before he huffed out a breath that sounded happy, and moved away completely, giving them distance. Merlin slowly turned around, eyes shifting to the floor a bit. 

“I don’t want to overwhelm you,” Arthur said and Merlin took in a shuddering breath, hating how fragile Arthur was treating him but at the same time—loving it. He wondered why he was so conflicted over this and furrowed his eyebrows before he looked at the King. His husband stared at him back before a small frown appeared on his lips. “If you don’t want me to touch you again—you should tell me now. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that—I just thought that usually a hug would cure loneliness—even a bit.”

Merlin’s eyes widened and panic surged into his veins when he realised Arthur had mistaken his thoughts for refusal for his—hugs or touches. His face flamed red once more at the feeling in his chest that craved more of Arthur’s touch. They were gentle and kind and Merlin liked it. 

“N—No!” Merlin blurted out, hands outstretched. Arthur’s eyes widened at the exclaim, taking a small step forward, warily. 

“No?” Arthur asked. “So…I shouldn't touch you anymore?”

“No, I mean,” Merlin said and then bit his bottom lip again, his eyes boring into Arthur’s. “Uhm…I…I don’t…mind it.” Merlin looked away almost immediately and then decided he would just leave. This was—too much for him. Too forward of him.

He took a few steps away from Arthur and was about to leave when a hand touched his wrist and halted him. 

Before he knew it, Arthur had pulled him against his chest and hugged him, one hand on his back and the other at the back of his head. Merlin gasped at that, his eyes wide as his heart thundered against his chest again. The sudden emptiness that he experienced when Arthur pulled away started to leave the minute he was back in his husband’s arms. 

Merlin breathed out shakily, the emotions going haywire in his heart. 

“Is it really okay?” Arthur asked, his voice hushed. Merlin realised he had frozen against Arthur and breathed in Arthur’s scent, once more the scent of flowers relaxing him. Merlin nodded against his chest and shakily touched Arthur’s back with his own hands. 

He felt his heart strings tugging and he didn’t know how he felt about that truly. All that he knew right now was that he liked this. He liked the warmth around him and how strong Arthur’s felt against him. He felt safe here. He didn’t want to leave and that thought scared him. 

He somehow buried his face against Arthur’s chest and tightened his grip around his husband. He didn’t want to let go, at least not now. 

“Shh, it’s okay,” Arthur murmured against his ears and the hand that was on the back of his head started to go through his hair. “It’s alright.”

Merlin choked back a sob, realising that he was actually crying against him. The loneliness crashed into him like a tidal wave and his shoulders shook as the tears wet Arthur’s shirt. He clawed the back of Arthur’s shirt and held on tight, taking in shuddering breaths as he cried. 

“It’s okay, I’m here,” Arthur said, his words sounded like a promise. “I’ll keep you safe, I promise.”

Merlin continued to hang onto Arthur as the tears streamed down his face. He should feel embarrassed but he couldn’t find it in himself to do so. Instead, he felt grateful that Arthur wasn’t acting like how Merlin envisioned him to be. He was glad Arthur was treating him like this—like he could mean the world to the man. 

And Merlin wanted that, he thought. He liked that feeling. 

“I—I’m sorry,” Merlin choked out as he took in a deep breath, the tears still running down his face. “I—I don’t know why—”

“It’s alright,” Arthur said. “It’s normal, Merlin. It’s okay to cry when you’re lonely or sad. It’s fine.”

The prince’s body shook when another wave of sob caught in his throat. Arthur didn’t say anything as he ran his fingers through Merlin’s hair, patting him along the way. Merlin’s heart was wearing itself down from the loneliness but at the same time, it was inflating from how much Arthur seemed to care about him. 

“You knew I was going to break down,” Merlin said, his voice came out shaky. “You knew.”

“I knew,” Arthur said. “Because I’ve been where you are.”

“You cried too?” Merlin asked, his voice trembled again. He tried to blink away the tears as the pain slowly receded away from his chest, leaving behind this warmth. 

“Yeah,” Arthur said. “Only I didn’t have anyone to hold onto.”

Merlin remained quiet, the tears finally stopped and he felt—calm. “When?”

“Oh, all the time,” Arthur said. 

“I’m sorry,” Merlin said. “I can’t imagine how it must be to feel like this all the time.”

“It’s horrible,” Arthur whispered against him. “And after a while, you feel numb and then—you don’t feel anything at all.”

Merlin’s breath hitched at that, a wave of sadness washed into him. “Arthur,” he breathed out as he gripped on the shirt tight. Arthur only sighed against him before Merlin felt Arthur nuzzling his hair with his nose. 

“I’m not going to let you feel the same way,” Arthur said. “I promised to you on our wedding day. I intend to keep it.”

Merlin didn’t say anything for a while, just letting Arthur hold him—letting himself hold the King like this. “I’ll keep you from feeling numb too,” Merlin said, his voice barely a whisper. 

He felt Arthur shifting before a hand touched Merlin’s face, nudging him to look at the King. Merlin shook his head as he stubbornly kept his face hidden against his chest until he felt Arthur nudging him. “Come on, look at me,” Arthur said. 

The prince slowly looked at Arthur, his cheeks still flushed and tear tracks evidently on his face. Arthur smiled as he pulled away a bit, even though Merlin didn’t let him completely go, placing his hands on Arthur’s hips instead. Arthur’s hands touched Merlin’s face, cradling him in his palms. 

With his thumbs, the King wiped away the tear tracks from Merlin’s face, pulling him closer against him. “There you go,” Arthur said. “Do you feel better?”

Merlin looked away a bit but he couldn’t look completely away due to the hands on his face. He felt trickles of embarrassment threatening to cover his mind. Arthur seemed to have noticed this and tilted his head a bit to make Merlin look at him. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Arthur said. “Nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Merlin let out a shocked laugh. “You’re a mind-reader or something?” Merlin asked, his voice now a bit stronger than before. 

Arthur grinned at him, playful. “Maybe,” he said. “Maybe I have magic of my own.”

Merlin rolled his eyes as he sniffed. “I doubt that,” Merlin said but Arthur only continued to grin at him. 

“You can come to me whenever, Merlin,” Arthur said after a while. “For anything.”

Merlin looked at him and noticed that the King wasn’t bluffing, in fact, he looked serious. Merlin smiled at him, a rare sincere smile that he rarely showed Arthur. His husband seemed to be taken aback at the smile and his own face reddened. Merlin raised his eyebrows at that and Arthur laughed a bit. 

“You’re quite beautiful,” Arthur said, earning Merlin a flustered glare. 

“I am not!” Merlin said. “Beautiful is for ladies.”

“It could be used for some men too,” Arthur said. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Merlin quietened at that but he knew he was completely red. At this rate, he was going to pass out at how much he blushed, Merlin grumbled in his head. His eyes snapped wide open when he felt Arthur pressing a kiss on his forehead. Merlin immediately touched his forehead when Arthur moved away, pulling his hands off from Merlin. 

“You are beautiful,” Arthur said. Merlin bit his inner cheek as he stared at the King and then looked away, sniffing a bit. “Well, I have to get to the council meeting now,” Arthur added after a minute of silence. “Do look for me though when you want to, okay?”

Merlin glanced at him before he nodded. Arthur lingered for a while before he walked away, leaving Merlin standing there with his heart racing against his chest and his forehead burning from where Arthur had kissed him. His magic was bubbling inside of him, cooing at him happily and he felt himself smiling at that. 

His fingertips brushed against his forehead and he felt warm again. Safe. 

“You continue to surprise me, Arthur,” Merlin said. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: Hello, my readers! Here's another chapter~ I know, this is quite an early update. I'm trying to actually try and update every three days once or so. Keep a schedule of it, you know? I'll try to anyway. Okay, so this chapter, I hope you guys like it! As you can see, I edited some of my tags. I hope you guys will continue to enjoy this chapter though and do let me know what you guys thought! I love to know what you guys think. It fuels the brain!
> 
> Thank you to those who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story a kudos. 
> 
> Until next chapter! -Krystal
> 
>  
> 
> _What if I wanted to break, laugh it all off in your face? What would you do? — The Kill (Bury Me) (Thirty Seconds to Mars [NateWantsToBattle/Nathan Sharp Cover])_

 

 

 

The contents in the journal bothered Merlin more than he thought was possible. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it, especially when he felt his magic reacting violently to it. Even more so when the writer knew Arthur personally. They had to, Merlin thought as he bit his bottom lip. 

The curiosity in him urged the prince to look for more clues on who this M.LF could be. Would the King know who this person was? Was it possible for Merlin to ask him? 

The prince’s face reddened when he recalled what had happened with the said King in the kitchen hours ago. The way Arthur had felt around him and how safe he had felt in his embrace; he didn’t think he would find another pair of arms that would hold him so safely besides his mother’s. It eased some of the anxiousness in his chest about how he should trust his husband. 

It had only been a week or so since they had gotten married and Arthur was quickly changing his perspective of him. From the bitter thoughts about the King, Merlin was starting to contemplate how kind Arthur was and how gentle he was with the prince, never pushing for answers to his questions when Merlin didn’t feel like answering. 

And the fact that Arthur was so tuned with Merlin’s emotions didn’t terrify him like he thought it would. In fact, it felt like he didn’t have to hide behind his mask all the time, feeling like he could relax a bit. He still didn’t give up all of what he felt to Arthur, hiding some parts of him until he was sure Arthur wouldn’t judge him for them but for now, Merlin realised that Arthur was starting to make a home in his heart. 

Whether it was because the King never once scorned his magic or if it was because Arthur was nothing like he thought he would be, he had yet to know. But Merlin began to think that it would be fine after all if they had some kind of connection besides the invisible tie between them that proclaimed they were married. 

Maybe a friendship with Arthur wouldn’t be so bad. 

Merlin bit his bottom lip before he sighed, his cheeks tingeing red. 

His magic buzzed at his fingertips at the thought and he couldn’t help but to smile. 

Arthur was repairing the broken bond his father had left behind. 

It should make Merlin panic. Especially when the King had no idea what he would be involving himself into if Merlin’s magic started to reach out to him for a bond—but Merlin knew he had no romantic feelings for Arthur so he didn’t think it would hurt if he relied on Arthur a bit to heal his magic. 

It wasn’t as if his magic was going to mistaken it for anything else. 

Merlin worried his inner cheek and looked at his palms, feeling the bubbling sensation of his magic double, as if protesting at him about that thought. He shook his head and continued to walk to their bedroom, glancing out of the large windows to look at the rose gardens. 

Merlin stopped for a second and then proceeded to walk closer to the windows, placing a hand against the cool glass. The moon was out and it bathed the rose garden with its light. It made the garden look magical and Merlin wanted to be at the centre of it. 

Without hesitation, he quickly found himself rushing to get to the rose gardens. He felt his breath catching in his throat when he finally walked to the middle of the rose gardens, feeling the cool light from the moon caressing his skin and the roses around him. The wind blew, letting him to breathe in the smell of the roses. 

He was—light on his feet all of a sudden. 

He felt happy.

Maybe it was because he had cried his heart out and the loneliness left him through it or maybe it was because he felt like he had found something to do besides sitting around and studying. Maybe it was because he was confused about Arthur and yet excited for more surprises. 

Whatever the reason was, Merlin felt the urge to play around with his magic, letting his heart soar, something that he hadn’t done since his father died. 

He looked at his hands and took in a deep breath. He didn’t have a specific spell in his mind and decided to just let his magic out, let it do what it wanted. Let it roam freely from his fingertips like how he felt like. 

Closing his eyes, he took in another deep breath before he raised his hands, clearing his mind and focusing on this feeling in his chest. This feeling of restlessness and yet contentment—he let the feeling control his magic instead of a spell. When he opened his eyes, his eyes flashed gold and then, his magic seeped out from his hands, floating around him and started to spread around. 

Merlin felt it caress the flowers and the flower petals on the grass, he felt how it soaked up the moonlight and then—the feeling intensified. 

This was the feeling he missed! 

This freedom to play around with his magic—this freedom in letting it just feel what he felt!

He missed this so much! 

Merlin couldn’t help but to laugh as he swished his hands around, the magic following him and yet wrapped around him like a comforting blanket, shielding him from the cold bite of the wind. The flower petals, the red colour started to rise from the ground and swirl around with Merlin, as if it was dancing with him. 

Merlin moved around, twirling around as well, the breeze blew at him to compliment his gold magic and the flower petals as well as the leaves floated around him, spiralling and then dancing. 

It felt magic—majestic. 

Merlin laughed once more when his magic started to tease him, started to gently drag the flower petals to cover his body and then pushing him to move around with it, as if a lover was dancing with him and leading him across the dance floor.

“I get it, I get it,” Merlin said, grinning widely as the happiness burst in his chest. “I missed you too.”

Merlin stretched out his hands and the golden strands of his magic touched him, pushing him to walk backwards and then pullinghim closer, the flowers dancing around him. His magic soon let him go to play around him once more, picking at anything on the ground and twirling them around in the air. 

“Woah,” a voice said, causing Merlin to gasp in shock. Almost immediately, Merlin dragged all of his magic back into himself, turning around. The floating flower petals and leaves dropped to the ground as the magic disappeared, silence bled into the scene, awkward.

The prince’s face blazed red when he realised who it was. 

Arthur stood there, eyes wide and mouth gaping a bit. His blue eyes sparkled for a second in awe and admiration and then in slight remorse. “I—I’m sorry,” Merlin stuttered, looking away from him to the ground where the petals and leaves were scattered around his feet, circling him. 

“What? Why are you apologising?” Arthur asked, sounding baffled. “I should—be the one apologising. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Merlin bit his inner cheek. “I was just,” Merlin began and then closed his mouth, unsure of how to continue his train of thoughts. He wasn’t sure how to explain to Arthur about the urge inside of him from minutes ago. So, he just raised his hands and swished them around lamely. “That.”

Arthur quirked his lips upwards into a smile, amusement coloured his eyes. Merlin shifted his weight from one foot to the other, feeling embarrassed. “I,” Arthur began and took a step forward. “I thought it was beautiful.”

The prince’s eyes widened at that, his face felt hotter than before as he dropped his hands to his sides, shoulders stiff. Arthur took another step forward, blowing out a breath as if he was nervous himself, his smile lessened into a sheepish one. “I was mesmerised,” he said, words said carefully. “I’ve never seen anything that majestic.”

Merlin looked at his feet, his entire body flushed from the praise. He clenched his fingers into balls, his heart beating loudly against his chest. “No, it’s not,” Merlin murmured. “It’s just…magic.”

“Exactly,” Arthur said. “ _Your_ magic.”

Merlin raised his eyes to look at the blue ones. “It’s nothing really,” Merlin said after a second of silence. “It wasn’t even a spell.”

Arthur looked interested at that. “It wasn’t?” he asked. He pointed at the flowers and leaves on the ground. “Then how did they float around?”

The prince looked at the flower petals and leaves before he raised his right hand, taking in a deep breath and let his magic free, letting it flow slower than before. Arthur took a small step backwards as his eyes landed on the leaves and petals that were beginning to rise, swirling around them before they danced. 

“Because I want them to,” Merlin said, his voice hushed. Arthur’s eyes landed on Merlin, still awed and mesmerised. The prince felt shy all of a sudden as he slowly dropped his hand away, the flower petals and leaves dropping with him. 

“No, wait,” Arthur said as he took a huge step forward and gently touched his right wrist, halting the prince from once more reigning his magic in. “Keep going.”

Merlin looked at Arthur before he shook his head. “I,” Merlin said. “It’s just…nothing special though.”

Arthur gave him a warm smile, squeezing his grip around the prince’s wrist, not tightly, just as an assurance. “They’re special,” Arthur said before he let go of his wrist. “They’re really special, Merlin.”

The brunet cleared his throat, looking away, knowing that he was blushing heavily at the moment. His heart though soared at Arthur’s quick acceptance to his childish need to play around with his magic. For a second, he was tempted to stop his magic anyway but one glance at Arthur’s calm and kind face, Merlin took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. 

There it was, that feeling again that he got whenever Arthur was close to him. That feeling that started to bubble his magic happily in his hands. This time, instead of trying to contain it, he let it dance inside of him before he released his magic from his fingertips, letting it mould with that feeling. 

When he opened his eyes, he was slightly taken aback at how much magic had seeped from him and started to dance around them, slowly crowding Arthur closer to him. The King was mesmerised, staring at the golden strings that were mixed with the leaves and flowers. 

Under the moonlight, Arthur looked different, Merlin noted. His breath hitched when the blue eyes landed on him, once again trapping him under his stare. His magic, now that it was out in the open, brightened a bit when Arthur took a step closer to him, their body inches away. 

Arthur glanced at the magic before he looked at Merlin, his awe dimmed into fondness and a smile, a warm smile, nothing like his previous smiles from before, graced his lips. Merlin slowly dropped his hands to his sides but the magic remained in the air, this time, they were starting to push Arthur and Merlin together. 

Before Merlin could blink, his magic had nudged him against his shoulder, causing him to stumble forward and fall against Arthur, who immediately caught him with his hands wrapped around his upper arms. The grip was strong but wasn’t bruising and Merlin’s own hands were against Arthur’s chest. 

The magic whirred at that and they cooed. Arthur’s eyes widened as the magic continued to coo. “What,”  
Arthur said, confused and intrigued. Merlin couldn’t help but to chuckle at that look on his husband’s face, his hands gently touching Arthur’s shirt and bawling them in his fists. 

He felt happy. He felt light again and safe once more. Merlin’s heartbeat was erratic and he felt like he was losing his breath—and he liked that feeling. 

“They’re singing,” Merlin whispered, looking at Arthur. The King’s eyes once more flitted to his eyes and they both froze when their noses brushed. Merlin hadn’t realised how close they were and suddenly, he was aware of everything around him. How Arthur’s hands that were on his arms slowly started to loosen and drag down to touch his hands and how Arthur’s eyes warmed, gentle and kind like hours ago. 

How Merlin himself found himself light-headed from how much he wanted to lean against him. How Arthur’s warmth was trying to suffocate him and Merlin wanted it—wanted to let him. 

For a while, Merlin felt himself getting intoxicated with Arthur’s presence. He clenched his grip on Arthur’s chest, his fingers shaking at the realisation that he liked it—he liked being close to the King like this and his mind blanking, unable to think anything when he was this close to him. 

A hand touched his face, cradling his jaw while Arthur’s thumb caressed his cheekbone. They were so close and Merlin ended up closing his eyes when he felt the King’s breath ghosting against the side of his face. His own hands raised to touch Arthur’s neck, his fingers caressing the soft skin. 

“I want to kiss you,” Arthur whispered, his words that were breathed against Merlin’s face sent a shiver down his spine. If he had any brain cells to think, he would have snapped out of this trance and moved away, but before he could even comprehend that line of thought, he felt Arthur’s lips brushing against his and he let his guards down, tugging Arthur close and slotting their lips together. 

Arthur brought his other hand to circle Merlin’s waist before placing them at the small of his back, pushing the smaller body against his and Merlin kissed him back, everything else fading to the background, focusing on just the lips against his and how the hands felt on his body. 

They stayed like that, kissing, Merlin gripping Arthur’s neck and feeling lighter than he ever felt. The hand on his face cradled his face to tilt a bit more until Arthur pulled away, pecking on his lips one last time before he pushed his forehead against the brunet’s, both panting for air. 

Merlin opened his eyes after a while, his body thrumming with the sudden electric energy and he met with the beautiful blue ocean eyes. He couldn’t help but to bring one of his hands to touch Arthur’s face, fingers touching his eyes. They breathed against each other for a while, just staring at each other, none of them saying anything else.

Then the magic around them started to disappear, the flower petals and leaves fell around them and it looked like they were being showered in them. Arthur gave him a tentative smile, his lips redder from before and his cheeks looking flushed. Merlin thought he still looked handsome even then. 

Merlin blinked a few times before he realised what had happened. When his magic seeped back into his body, his heart stopped beating for a millisecond, his lips burning. Immediately he pushed Arthur away, detangling away from him and taking a few steps back, bringing the back of one of his hands against his lips, as if trying to cover up at how flustered he had become. 

Arthur tensed when he moved away and a look of worry clouded his face. Merlin didn’t know what to think or how to act, only the fact that his entire body was burning, and the places where Arthur touched him felt like it was caving in. 

And he was confused because he didn’t hate this feeling. 

He—liked it. 

Awkward silence settled between them but nobody said anything. 

“I,” Merlin said as he slowly moved his hand away from his mouth. “We kissed.”

“Yeah,” Arthur said and Merlin was slightly relieved to realise that the King looked overwhelmed as well. “Yes, we did.”

Merlin shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He bit his bottom lip and looked at the blond, unsure of what to do. “Okay,” he said and Arthur looked a bit amused at that, his lips twitching upwards. 

“Okay?” Arthur said. 

“I—I don’t know what else to say,” Merlin admitted, earning a nervous chuckle from the King. 

“Me either,” Arthur said. “But…you didn’t dislike it?”

Merlin swallowed the lump that formed in his throat at that question. “No,” Merlin said, avoiding Arthur’s eyes. “I didn’t dislike it.”

Arthur nodded. “Me too.”

They both continued to stand there for a while before Merlin cleared his throat. He wanted to sleep now. His mind was still fuzzy from being kissed and how it rattled his core. He couldn’t think beyond the fact that he had kissed Arthur and he had liked it. And—frighteningly—he wouldn’t mind doing that again. 

“Uh, I think I’ll go to sleep now,” Merlin said, words hushed. 

Arthur opened his mouth, probably to say something more but at the end, he nodded. “Me too,” he said.

 

***

 

Merlin was lying on the bed, awkward and stiff while he heard Arthur shifting on the couch, changing his sleeping position every few minutes. The room was dark and it made the silence in the room ten times heavier. It made Merlin uncomfortable, itching to break it by saying something. 

Should they talk about what had happened?

Had he kissed Arthur in the spur of the moment?

Had it meant anything?

Merlin furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at the ceiling. He looked at the couch and noticed Arthur had shifted again. 

Was it bothering Arthur as much as it bothered Merlin?

Was it a good type of bother or the bad type?

“Why did you kiss me?” Merlin asked. He immediately slapped a hand over his mouth, breath hitched as he looked away from the couch to stare at the ceiling. He stiffened when he heard Arthur shifting again, this time to sit down on the couch. 

“What?” Arthur asked, his voice quiet, confused. 

Merlin dragged his hand away from his mouth and took in a deep breath. “Why did you kiss me?” he asked again, keeping his eyes glued on the ceiling. 

Arthur didn’t reply for a long time and Merlin wondered if the King was ignoring him when the blond sighed. “To tell you the truth…I have no idea.”

Merlin frowned at that answer, feeling his heart throbbing against his chest in displeasure. “Oh,” Merlin said. Something in his voice must had given an indication that he was dissatisfied with the answer because the next thing the prince knew, Arthur had gotten up from his couch and walked to the bed. 

“It’s not that I didn’t want to kiss you,” Arthur said, his voice closer to him now that he was standing near the bed on the other side. Merlin hummed under his breath before he pushed himself to sit down, leaning against the headboard before he switched on the light. 

Merlin squinted from the light for a second before his eyes adjusted to it. He looked at Arthur, who seemed to be blinking a few times to get used to the light as well before he sat down at the edge of the bed, hesitantly. Merlin’s heart warmed at the cautiousness—feeling safe again at the fact that the King was always making sure he had Merlin’s consent. 

But the prince didn’t comment on that, instead, he looked away to his hands on his lap. “So, you did want to kiss me?” Merlin asked, his voice low. 

Arthur once again didn’t answer and when Merlin glanced at him, he looked contemplative, staring at the bedsheets. “You were beautiful,” Arthur said, his eyes lifted from the bedsheets and looked into the prince’s eyes. His blue eyes were serious and it sent a swarm of butterflies fluttering in Merlin’s stomach. 

The prince’s face reddened, feeling awkward again. “I—I don’t know why you keep saying that,” Merlin said as he licked his dry lips. “Is that your new adjective for me?”

Arthur snickered at that, relaxing. “I’m just telling you the truth,” Arthur said. 

“I doubt it,” Merlin said, his own lips twitching to smile. Then his smile faltered when he felt slight thrums of nervousness started to seep into his veins. He played with his fingers and took in a deep breath. “You kissed me because I was…you know.”

“You were beautiful with your magic and,” Arthur said before he paused. “And then you looked at me and at that very moment—all I wanted was to lean down and kiss you.”

Merlin listened quietly, feeling his cheeks reddening and his heart skipping a beat. “I see,” he said, confused now that he had his answer. It wasn’t an answer he was expecting to get from Arthur but then at the same time, he had no idea what answer he wanted to expect. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said. Merlin glanced at him and looked back at his hands. “Did you regret it?”

Merlin tensed at that question. 

Did he regret it?

He liked it and there was some part of him that wanted to do it again. But Merlin couldn’t deny that he was also conflicted with the want to run away as far as he could from here—because this was Arthur, a person who he had been wary of for a long time. Now, Arthur was changing his perspective so quickly that it was overwhelming and it felt like kissing him was becoming a mistake. 

“I don’t know,” Merlin hesitated to say, biting his inner cheek. “I’m not sure what to think.”

Arthur sighed but it didn’t sound dejected or angry. In fact, it sounded—like nothing. It was just a sigh. Nothing else and Merlin relaxed at that, feeling relieved that his feelings weren’t being ridiculed or questioned. The prince looked at Arthur and watched him as the King yawned, rubbing the back of his neck, tiredness clearly on his face. 

“Did you?” Merlin asked. Arthur looked at him, still rubbing the back of his neck. 

“No,” Arthur said. “I didn’t regret it.”

Merlin’s heart gave a loud thump at that and he knew that the tips of his ears were red. He ran his fingers through his hair. 

“I’m sorry,” Arthur said, catching Merlin’s attention again. This time, there was remorse in those blue eyes that had Merlin’s heart sinking to the pit of his stomach. “Maybe I shouldn’t have done that.”

The prince frowned. “I didn’t say I didn’t like it,” Merlin said, his voice barely a whisper but he prayed that Arthur heard him. He didn’t feel like repeating that. 

Arthur looked a bit surprised at that admission but he still looked wary—almost guilty and Merlin hated that look on his face. 

“Stop looking like that,” Merlin snapped. “It makes me think you really regretted kissing me.”

“I don’t,” Arthur assured him, his hands raised almost as if he was about to touch Merlin. “I just don’t want to force you into anything you don’t want to do.”

Merlin looked away for a second to stare at the bedsheets. “You didn’t,” Merlin said before he huffed out a slightly amused laugh. “Besides, I’m pretty sure I’m the one who kissed you.”

“I’m still older than you,” Arthur pointed out. “It makes me feel more—responsible for you.”

Merlin frowned. “I thought we’re equals in this,” the prince said as he waved around his hands, suddenly feeling agitated. “What does my age has anything to do with this?”

“Nothing,” Arthur quickly said. “It’s just…you’re younger than me, Merlin. You’re barely over your teenage years.”

Merlin felt his irritation flaring at that. “Are you saying you’re looking down on me because of my age?” Merlin asked, his voice indecorous and hurt. He looked at Arthur, who only avoided looking at him. The irritation became anger as he slammed his hands on the bedsheets and turned to look at his husband. “Are you being serious right now?”

Arthur ran his fingers through his messy blond hair and shrugged. “I feel responsible,” Arthur said. “As your husband and King and—as someone who’s older than you by five years.”

The prince gritted his teeth, his eyes flashing dangerously. He hated it. He hated it when someone underestimated him just because he was young. He wasn’t naive neither was he unknowledgeable. He knew what he was getting into when he married Arthur, he knew that the man was older than him but it wasn’t a huge age-difference. 

They were only apart five years and Merlin could bet that they both had almost the same education knowledge and what not. The only difference between them was that Arthur had a kingdom to rule while Merlin was being prepared to take over Ealdor one day. 

“I’m not a child!” Merlin hissed, causing Arthur to snap his gaze at him. “Don’t you dare treat me like one! King or not, I will not be tolerated like some child!”

“I’m not saying you’re a child,” Arthur insisted. “I’m just saying—”

“You’re implying I’m too young to make my own decisions,” Merlin snapped. “You’re implying I had no idea what I’m doing, what I’m saying yes or no to.”

Arthur opened his mouth to argue but then he closed his mouth and sighed. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?” Merlin demanded. “Look at me. Look at me in the eyes and tell me what you meant! Is it because I said I don’t know if I regretted the kiss or not? Is that it? Because I didn’t say I didn’t regret it—so you’re taking offence to that?”

“For God’s sakes,” Arthur murmured, running a hand down his face. “It’s not that. I just don’t want to push you into things you’re not ready for. And if one of the reasons is because you’re younger than me, then yes. I—I want you to be sure of things before you let me touch you. I can’t—I can’t have anything happen to you, Merlin, especially if it’s because of me.”

“What a load of bullshit,” Merlin cursed, taking Arthur off guard. “What? You think I don’t curse? Think I’m too young for it?” 

Arthur looked irritated now and Merlin rolled his eyes, feeling miffed as well. “I didn’t want to offend you,” Arthur said after a while, as if he was picking his words carefully.

“Well, you did,” Merlin muttered under his breath but still loud enough that Arthur could hear. “I kissed you, if you’ve forgotten that tiny bit of information. Not you. I’m the one who initiated it. I would appreciate it if you treated me like the adult I deserve to be treated, thanks.”

With that said, Merlin huffed and went to lie on the bed, rolling to his side to face away from the King. He felt tears prickling at the edge of his eyes, wondering why he had thought Arthur was different. He was the same, the same as the rest of them who had looked down on him whenever they got the chance. 

He knew he looked young, he knew he looked like a mess and a walking hazard because of his noodle limbs. But he thought Arthur would look past all of that to who he truly was inside and for a while, he almost fooled himself thinking that the King had. 

Now, he knew that Arthur wasonly doing this for his duty, not because he saw who Merlin truly was. It was because Merlin was his duty to be taken care of and that included the fact that he was younger than him. What a load of bollocks. 

He furiously wiped his eyes, angry at himself for trusting the King. 

His lips still tingled from the kiss and he had felt so high—now he felt so down, so crushed. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said, his voice soft. Merlin only ignored him, continuing to glare ahead. “Merlin.”

“What?” Merlin said, couldn't hold back the curtness in his voice.

“Merlin,” Arthur said. Merlin rolled his eyes, scooting away from the King. “I didn’t—”

“Go away,” Merlin said. “You said what you thought about me. I’m just this fucking child who you had to marry for duty. Just admit it, all your promises are just for the sake to make this deal easier. That’s all.”

A hand touched his shoulder before he was tugged to roll on his back. Merlin glared heatedly at the hand on his shoulder and Arthur retracted it. But his husband looked at him, the blue eyes bored into his, filled with regret. 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Arthur pleaded. “You’re not just a duty.”

Merlin looked away from him, his jaw clenched. 

“Merlin,” the blond said. “I don’t see you as a child. I never did. I—”

“It’s not up to you,” Merlin said. “It’s not up to you to question about my decisions. I’m twenty, not sixteen. I know what I’m doing.”

Arthur quietened before he nodded. “I know,” Arthur. “I didn’t mean to make it sound like you’re incapable of saying yes and no without realising what they meant. I’m not looking down on you. I’m just…I can’t help but to treat you carefully.”

“Well, stop it,” Merlin said and snapped his icy blue eyes at the brighter ones. “Stop thinking like that. You’ve started to make me think you could be different, Arthur. And right now, you’re making me regret thinking like that.”

“I’m sorry,” Arthur said, his voice filled with regret, sincere. “I’m sorry. I am different.”

Merlin sighed and rubbed his eyes again. “All I’m asking from you is to treat me like I’m your equal,” the prince said, his voice shaky as the pain curled in his chest. “I thought we were.”

A hand touched his face, caressing his cheek. “You are,” Arthur said. “You are my equal.”

“Then, believe me when I say that I did like the kiss,” Merlin said as he touched the hand on his face. He squeezed the fingers to emphasise. “That I—I liked that you treat me like that, like you care about me more than what others saw in me.”

Arthur leaned in close, almost too close with how there were just inches away from their noses brushing against each other. His eyes were serious and his lips thinned. “I do care for you,” Arthur said. “I’m sorry for hurting your feelings.”

Merlin looked at him properly, eyes searching the depths of the blue irises. The hurt from just now melted away when Arthur leaned in and kissed his forehead. His heart warmed and his body flushed again. He couldn’t help but to smile weakly at the King who now seemed to have taken over his mind and heart. 

He was just unsure how deep this thing ran or how enamoured he had become with Arthur. 

For now though, he pushed the thoughts away from his head and focused on one burning question, “Will you continue to touch me then?”

“Do you want me to?” Arthur said. “Continue to hold you and kiss you?”

Merlin bit his bottom lip, slight nervousness trickled into his mind. “Probably nothing more than just a kiss,” he muttered, embarrassed all of a sudden for acting like a maiden. 

“Hey, it’s alright if you’re not ready,” Arthur said, his voice soft. “I won’t push you into anything or demand anything you’re not ready for.”

“I’m saying yes, okay?” Merlin blurted out, his eyes wide. “I’m saying yes if you want to hold me or kiss me. You don’t…don’t need to ask all the time when you want to do it.”

“Okay,” Arthur said but there was a teasing smile on his lips. Then, with a deep breath, he looked serious again. “You do know that I trust you, right?” 

“Trust?” Merlin asked. He furrowed his eyebrows. “You trust me?”

“Of course,” Arthur said. “I trust you.”

Merlin opened his mouth to question why he would trust a magic-user but he knew just from the glitter in Arthur’s eyes that that was just how the King was. Always so trusting to people, and always gave a benefit of doubt to anyone. Merlin raised his free hand and touched Arthur’s face, caressing his eyebrow and then down his cheek. 

“This makes you different from Uther,” Merlin breathed out. Arthur smiled at him as if Merlin had complimented him and it was funny just how much the previous King was hated. “I guess that’s why my magic trusts you too.”

“They do?” Arthur asked, sounding pleased and happy. “What about the person who wields the magic?”

Merlin shrugged but he was smiling. “Maybe I do too. I don’t just allow anyone to kiss me when they want to, you know.”

Arthur hummed before he said, “You better not. I like to think I’m the only one who can kiss you and hold you now that I have your permission to do so.”

“Only you,” Merlin said and then chuckled when he felt his face heating up from the words that slipped from his mouth. “That sounded disgustingly sappy, bloody hell.”

“I think it’s endearing you blurt out things,” Arthur teased and his fingers traced Merlin’s bottom lip. “You’re quite a potty mouth, aren’t you?”

Merlin raised his eyebrows. “If this is about how young I am to—”

“It’s just a statement,” Arthur said. 

“Well,” Merlin said. “I’ve been trying not to curse a lot—but it seems I’m a bit uncivilised when it comes to talking when I’m angry or flustered.”

“I don’t mind it,” Arthur said before he pulled away to sit next to Merlin. “Are we…fine?”

Merlin raised his elbows to support himself and looked at his husband. “Yeah, we’re fine,” Merlin said. “But Arthur—don’t ever look down on me like that again. If you do, I swear to God I’ll kick you. King or not.”

Arthur looked really amused at the threat but Merlin could see he did take it seriously as he nodded. Then, he got out of bed, trying to get to the couch. The prince grabbed his wrist and halted him, causing the King to look at him with his own eyebrows raised, slight confusion colouring his eyes. 

“Where are you going?” Merlin asked. 

“To…bed?” Arthur said as he pointed to the couch. “Is something the matter?”

Merlin felt himself fidgeting a bit as he let Arthur’s wrist go. He cleared his throat and looked away, once again feeling the back of his neck reddening. “You can sleep here,” Merlin said. 

Arthur remained silent. “Are you su—”

Merlin glanced at him and Arthur shut up. “Okay,” Arthur said at last. It was awkward after that as Merlin watched him from the corner of his eyes, his husband grabbing his pillow and walked to the bed, placing the pillow on the free side of the bed. 

The prince watched how Arthur got under the covers and laid flat on his back, staring at the ceiling. It amused Merlin and he would have laughed if it weren’t for the fact that he felt nervous. Arthur was sharing the same bed as him. 

Arthur wasgoing to sleep next to him. 

It solidified the fact that they were taking a step forward from strangers to—something that Merlin wasn’t actually ready to acknowledge. He wordlessly lied back down on his back, clearing his throat and turning around to switch off the light. The room basked in darkness and he felt Arthur shifting. 

Merlin kept his back facing the King and breath hitched when he felt an arm winding around his waist before he was dragged close to Arthur’s chest. The King tightened his grip around his waist and tentatively Arthur curled his body against Merlin’s so they were flushed in every angle. 

The prince felt his heart beating loudly against his chest, almost like it was ready to break out of his chest. But he didn’t move away neither did he think it was a bad thing. The familiar feeling of being safe covered his mind and he relaxed in Arthur’s arms. The King sighed a bit, most probably in relief and Merlin bit back a smile at that. 

He closed his eyes and wiggled a bit closer to the King and Arthur hugged him tight, none of them spoke as they lied together like that. 

“Sleep,” Arthur whispered against his neck, his hot breath sent shivers running down Merlin’s spine. 

“Okay,” Merlin whispered back.

 

***

 

_His magic swirled around him, like an armour. The air around him felt heavy, as if it was trying to crush his chest inside. He breathed out loudly, air clouds curling at the top of his lips but it wasn’t even cold._

_It was dark and hot and if Merlin let himself concentrate, he swore he could feel his skin prickling like there was something itching to get out of his body. He didn’t know how he got here but he didn’t like this place. He looked around him and found himself at the middle of a forest._

_The trees were tall and heavy around him, encompassing him and when he tried to walk through them to get out, he couldn’t. His entire world swirls around and it tilted him backwards until he started to fall on the ground, landing on his back when he heard someone walking towards him, feet crushing the dried leaves on the ground._

_“Emrys,” the voice said, disjointed and dark, filled with menace._

_Then, he felt his magic disappearing from his body. It was being sucked out from him and the pain started to bloom, burning his body as he screamed. He could feel his magic core drying out and scrambling to get back the essence it was losing._

_Merlin couldn’t breathe when there was something clenching around his throat and pressing him down to the ground. He tried to scramble away but the grip around his throat tightened._

_“I will get my revenge and all will die. All that stands in my way will suffer.”_

_The voice curled around his mind and then he saw a pair of green eyes—cold and deadly piercing through him._

_Then, Merlin screamed when his magic core cracked._

With a gasp, Merlin snapped open his eyes and shot upwards, clenching his chest with one of his hands, gasping loudly. He scrambled to touch his neck, wondering if that something still clung around him. But when he felt his skin, he heaved out a sob of relief. 

The emotions ran heavy in his mind, unable to realise what had happened. 

“Merlin,” a voice said and Merlin closed his eyes and curled his knees closer to him, trying to think for himself for a while. A hand touched his shoulder and Merlin snapped open his eyes, looking at Arthur, who looked at him worriedly. “Merlin?”

“Fuck,” Merlin breathed out shakily, realising that there were tears running down his face. “Fuck, that was scary.”

“A nightmare?” Arthur asked, his voice filled with worry. Merlin took in a few shuddering breaths before he nodded and then he looked at Arthur, trying to give him a weak smile. The blond looked upset at that as he clenched Merlin’s shoulder. 

“I’m fine now,” Merlin said, after a while of silence, letting the warmth of Arthur’s hand on him calm him down. “I’m fine. It was just a nightmare. That’s all.”

Arthur nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” Merlin said, taking another deep breath before he reached out and touched Arthur’s hand, patting it once to let him know he really was fine. “It’s just a nightmare. It’ll go away.”

Arthur didn’t look convinced but Merlin looked at him pleadingly and the King let it go, nodding once. “Okay,” Arthur said before he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Merlin then realised that the room was brighter. 

“Morning already?” Merlin asked, trying desperately to push away that disturbing dream from his mind. 

“Yeah,” Arthur said and gave him a wry smile. “It’s seven in the morning.”

Merlin groaned under his breath and rubbed his face. “Of course it is,” Merlin said before he lied back on his bed. 

“Not a morning person then?” Arthur asked. Merlin glanced at him and then rolled his eyes. “Me either. But I have to get up now anyway. I have things to do.”

“Kingly duties,” Merlin agreed before he sat back up. “I guess I’ll get up too.”

“You can sleep in,” Arthur said as he got out of bed, stretching a bit. 

“I think I’ll start studying early today,” Merlin said. He suddenly itched to get to the library, to get back to the journal. It was like there was just this impulse in him that told him to go there. Merlin wondered if he was still running high from adrenaline because of the nightmare but he couldn’t help it. It unsettled him just like how he had felt when he finished reading the journal. 

He knew he should forget about the nightmare. It could have been nothing but he couldn’t help but to think that the nightmare could be connected to the journal in some way. His fingers shook as he thought about how his magic seeped away from his core with ease and how he felt like he was losing one part of his soul. He clenched his fingers into fists and took in a deep breath. 

“Alright, I’m taking a shower first then,” Arthur said as he looked at the prince. He still looked worried and Merlin wondered if he had the look of fear on his face right now. “Are you sure you’re fine?”

“Yes,” Merlin said. “I’ll be fine.”

Arthur hesitated for a second before he walked towards Merlin and leaned down to kiss his forehead. Merlin closed his eyes a bit to let the kiss seep into his skin, warming him up again as some fear washed away. “I believe you,” Arthur said before he pulled away. “But if you need to talk about it, don’t hesitate to look for me.”

“Thanks,” Merlin breathed out as he opened his eyes. 

“You’re welcome.”

 

***

 

After a quick breakfast with the pretence that he really did want to start studying early, Merlin jogged to the library. He walked inside and closed the door shut, heading right where he found the journal and hurriedly looked through the shelf until he found it. 

He pulled out the book, flipping through the pages until he came across the last written page. 

His heart stopped beating for a second. The words on the page sounded exactly like what the voice said in his nightmare. He slammed the book closed, unsure of what to think about it. What was the meaning of this? Was this just a nightmare or should he start investigating what this thing was? What was this sudden fear that scared his magic; that triggered his magic to try and protect him?

Who was M.LF? From the excitement with Arthur, he had forgotten to inquiry him about this person. Merlin bit his bottom lip as he shoved the journal back into the shelves. He had to ask Arthur. He knew rationally that it could mean nothing at all at the end and that person, whoever M.LF was, was just some random anti-Pendragon person. 

And Merlin knew that there could be a possibility that Arthur had no idea who M.LF was. 

Still…

Merlin shook those thoughts away and rushed out of the library, deciding to go look for Arthur. He furrowed his eyebrows as he wondered where the King could be. He wandered around for a bit, pausing to look into some of the rooms in case Arthur was in there and then continuing on with his search when he didn't find him. 

“Hey, uh,” Merlin said when he spotted a maid walking past them, hands filled with buckets of clothes. The maid looked at him and bowed before she smiled. Merlin smiled back before he said, “Do you know where the King is?”

The maid grinned at him at that. “Oh, the King is at the courtyard, sire.”

Merlin’s eyebrows raised at that. “The courtyard?”

“Yes,he’s sparring with some of the knights,” the maid said before she gestured to her left. “If you head straight down this hallway and take a left and then continue on until you can take another left, you’ll get to the courtyard.”

Merlin hummed under his breath. “Sparring, huh?” Merlin said as the maid chuckled. 

“Sparring indeed,” she said and her eyes sparkled in mirth. Merlin smiled at her in amusement before he nodded and thanked her. With that, Merlin followed her directions and found himself walking out of the castle and into the courtyard where indeed, there were knights around the place, some practising with their swords, engaged in duels and others simply practising their archery on the targets far from the main sparring arena. 

Merlin disliked violence and so this scene made him feel a bit bitter. Yet, he didn’t blame them. They needed some way to defend themselves and this kingdom and they had no magic to do so. Merlin didn’t linger on that topic long and decided to look at them practise, walking past them and smiling at some of the knights who caught his eyes. 

They bowed down to him before they went back to their training, leaving the prince to explore. 

Merlin finally saw Arthur, standing in the middle of the courtyard, laughing as he talked to three knights, patting on one of the taller knight’s shoulders. The prince hesitated to get near them and at last, decided he would just go and stand under a shady tree and wait until the King had finished talking. 

The King however stopped talking when one of the knights nudged him, pointing at where Merlin was. Flustered at being caught, he looked away for a moment, feigning interest at the other two knights practising archery. 

“Merlin!” Arthur’s voice had him ending that ruse as the prince sighed under his breath and looked at Arthur, who was grinning and waving at him. 

Merlin held back the urge to roll his eyes at that boyish grin, heart skipping a beat at that nevertheless, and walked to where the King was. When he stood next to him, he realised that he was being stared at by the three knights. The prince cleared his throat a bit and nodded at the knights, who in return, bowed at him. 

“Arthur,” one of the knights said. “You forgot to mention how beautiful your husband is.”

Merlin’s face flared red as he looked at the knight. “Could people stop associating me with that adjective!” he said. The knight seemed taken aback and then—grinned. Merlin realised that the knight was just teasing him and felt foolish for his outburst. “Sorry,” he apologised. “I, uh, thought you were making fun of me.”

“It’s alright,” Arthur said, his voice soothing. “Gwaine is just an idiot like that.”

“Oi!” Gwaine yelled, punching Arthur’s shoulder. Merlin blinked at that display. “I’m Gwaine. This is Lancelot and that tall guy there is Percival.”

“Hi, sire,” Lancelot said as he smiled at Merlin, his voice warm and his eyes were soft, inviting and friendly. Merlin liked him already. He seemed like he would make a good friend. Then, Percival took a step forward and bowed again, looking humbled. 

“My prince,” he breathed out. 

“I think,” Merlin began, feeling uncomfortable being addressed so formally. “You can call me Merlin.”

“Oh,” Arthur said, surprised. Then, he smiled, relieved. “That’s great, because I doubt they’ll continue on this charade of _respecting someone’s title_ after they get to know you.”

“Like you’re the one to speak, Arthur!” another knight said, causing a few others to laugh. Arthur rolled his eyes, a mock frown on his face. 

“Hey, I’m the King here!” Arthur said. “I demand a certain amount of respect!”

“Sure, princess,” Gwaine said and then grinned. “Respect that you lost, I might add, since you lost that bet when you were thirteen.”

Merlin ended up laughing at the nickname, feeling amused at the banter. 

“Gwaine,” Arthur growled. “What did I tell you about that stupid nickname?”

“That you love it?” Gwaine said, still grinning, in fact, looking smug. “Oh, wait. Does your husband know nothing about that nickname?”

“Gwaine, no,” Lancelot said but he was biting his bottom lip from trying not to smile, Merlin noted. “Arthur will lose all respect then!”

Percival laughed and Gwaine cackled. Merlin ended up laughing too, causing Arthur to sigh. 

“You find this funny, don’t you?” Arthur asked as he eyed the prince. 

“Tremendously,” Merlin agreed, couldn’t help but to smile at him. Arthur smiled back, his shoulders relaxing. 

“I think I’ll bring Merlin away from here now,” Arthur said before he eyed the knights. “Practise hard.”

“Sure,” Gwaine said with a shrug. “See you tonight.”

“Tonight?” Merlin asked. Percival and Lancelot followed Gwaine, waving at Arthur once before they went to train once more, leaving Arthur next to Merlin. 

“Oh yes,” Arthur said as he clapped his hands once. “Tonight is the celebration for yielding the crops by the farmers.”

“Oh,” Merlin said, intrigued with that. In Ealdor, there was something similar as well, Merlin remembered. Only it was more magical and extravagant. He wondered if Camelot would celebrate as whole-heartedly as Ealdor did. “So, we’re attending that then?”

Arthur glanced at him before he ran his fingers through his wet hair, some of the baby hair clung on his forehead from the sweat. “If you’d like to join me,” Arthur said, hesitantly. 

Merlin shrugged. “I’m—intrigued,” Merlin said. “There’s something similar in Ealdor so I’m intrigued.”

Arthur smiled. “Good,” Arthur said before he pointed at himself. “I think I’m going to shower.”

“I’ll follow,” Merlin said and then stopped when Arthur watched him, eyebrows raised. “What?” Merlin asked. 

Arthur smirked and leaned in close, causing Merlin to take a step backwards. “You want to join me in the showers?”

Merlin’s face reddened as he frowned. “Arthur!” he hissed, slightly scandalised at that even though his mind threatened to imagine the scene. 

“That is what you suggested though,” Arthur said. Merlin furrowed his eyebrows for a second before he realised what Arthur meant. Oh…oh dear—Merlin bit his bottom lip, panic flushing through his mind when he realised he had indeed inclined something like that. 

“N—No!” Merlin said. “I didn’t—I—I meant I’ll follow you to our rooms! I—I had something to ask and—”

“Hey, hey,” Arthur said, amused. “I was joking.”

Merlin glared at him, huffing his breath as he looked away. “That wasn’t funny. You knew exactly what I meant!”

“I did,” Arthur said, voice cheeky. Then, he brought a hand and ran his fingers through Merlin’s hair, patting him along the way. The prince immediately swatted Arthur’s hands away even though he didn’t use much force. Arthur chuckled and pulled his hand away while Merlin adjusted his messy hair.

“Your hands are sweaty,” Merlin grumbled. 

“Sorry,” Arthur said but he didn’t sound apologetic. They walked away from the courtyard and Merlin had gone silent, wondering how he should ask Arthur about the mystery person. They went into their bedroom and Merlin wandered to the bed and sat at the edge, his legs crossed and hands neatly on his lap. Arthur eyed him for a second, eyebrows raised before he walked to the wardrobe to pull out a new set of clothes. 

Merlin chewed his bottom lip, furrowing his eyebrows for a second. 

“Right,” Arthur said as he closed the wardrobe doors. He turned around to look at the prince, leaning his shoulder against it. “You said you had something to ask—so, what is it?”

Merlin rubbed the back of his neck. “Well,” he said. “I’m not sure how to ask.”

Arthur frowned. “Okay,” Arthur said, confused. “But I can’t answer your question if you don’t ask.”

The prince sighed. “It’s just,” Merlin said. “I…found something and I’m not sure what to think of it—or how to ask you about it.”

Arthur looked even more confused at that as he crossed his arms against his chest. “You found something?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” Merlin said. “A book, actually.”

“Oh,” Arthur said and then frowned deeper. “So…what about the book?”

Merlin sighed once more, running his fingers through his hair, looking at the King in the eyes. “It’s…a journal actually,” Merlin said. “It’s like someone’s journal. I found it in between the magic books.”

“Who’s journal is it?” Arthur asked before he blinked, even more confused. “I mean—you can ask, Merlin, but I’m not sure…if I’m adequate enough in magical artefacts to answer who’s journal you found.”

“No, I don’t think it’s a history journal,” Merlin said with a frown on his own. “It’s like the person who owns that journal knows you.”

“Me?” Arthur asked, surprised. “What do you mean?”

“Okay,” Merlin said. “Well, they didn’t leave a name in the book but initials instead. M.LF.”

Merlin immediately noticed the change in his demeanour. His shoulders tensed and his jaw clenched tight. Merlin slowly stood up, feeling the change in the air. It was tense, no longer light and curious. “Arthur?” Merlin asked, feeling slight fear spiking in his chest, wondering if he had offended the King in some way.

“Yeah?” Arthur said, looking away to stare—no, glare—at the floor. “Where—uhm,” Arthur said before he cleared his throat, growing tenser. 

“Did you know them?” Merlin asked and Arthur looked at him. The prince took a step backwards when he saw the amount of pain in the blue eyes and in those eyes were—anger as well. Merlin didn’t know what to do with Arthur so he just kept quiet, staring right back at him, confused and strangely guilty. “I—I didn’t mean to pry through the journal but it was just there in the shelves and…”

“Throw it away,” Arthur said, his voice thick with emotions. “Just throw it away, Merlin. I don’t know anybody named M.LF. I’m going to take a shower.”

Merlin opened his mouth but before he could ask anything else, Arthur had stormed off into the bathroom, shutting the door tight. The prince was left staring at where Arthur had stood. That wasn’t the face of someone who didn’t know who M.LF was. 

This intrigued Merlin even more even though he knew he couldn’t ask Arthur anymore questions about this person. The prince wondered just what had happened between these two. 

Was it possible that Arthur was keeping something much more than what he was revealing to Merlin? 

Of course he was, Merlin thought. No matter the promises and words, even though Merlin didn’t have the intention on doubting his promises and vows, Merlin knew that the King had secrets he would never let Merlin know—just like how Merlin had a few things he wouldn’t let Arthur know. 

But this was big. This secret felt different—evil—something that caused his magic to be at edge. Discovering that journal was probably the worst thing that could have happened to Merlin but at the same time, it forced the prince to confront it. 

Especially now that Arthur had reacted unfavourably to this. 

It was even more suspicious. 

“I’m sorry.”

Merlin looked at the bathroom doorway where a freshly showered and clothed Arthur stood, looking less stressed. “It’s fine,” Merlin said and gave him a smile he hoped looked assuring. “You didn’t want to talk about it. I won’t ask anymore.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said. “Just…”

“Just?” Merlin said. Arthur opened his mouth before he closed it. “Arthur?”

“Nothing,” Arthur said and then took in a deep breath. “Anyway, I’m just going to finish up a few more things and I’ll bring you to the festival.”

The sudden change of subject was too abrupt but Merlin didn’t point it out. When Merlin nodded, Arthur smiled. He took a few steps forward before he touched Merlin’s face with his hands. There was something in those blue eyes that Merlin hated. Pain? Why were they pained?

Arthur leaned in and kissed his forehead before he took a step back and left the room. Merlin sat at the edge of the bed and frowned, running a hand over his forehead. 

“What happened between you two?” Merlin whispered to himself.

 

***

 

Merlin walked near Arthur, the back of their hands brushing as they walked through the crowd. The prince was wary of the people here and he stuck close to his husband even though the celebration was intriguing him a lot. Arthur had stopped to greet some of his people, laughing at jokes from other people and just generally socialising. 

The prince though simply kept quiet, occasionally smiling and playing with the children around him. He knew he wasn’t truly one-hundred percent accepted by all of Arthur’s subjects. He knew that there were some hateful eyes on him.

Merlin ignored those eyes though as he focused on Arthur and the celebration. 

“How do you feel?” Arthur asked as he pulled Merlin aside from the crowd. Merlin gave him a weak smile, taking in a deep breath. The King furrowed his eyebrows in slight worry at that, a hand touching his face. “Do you want to go back?”

“No!” Merlin said as he touched Arthur’s hand that was on his cheek. “I’m fine.” His face reddened when he contemplated on his next words. “Could you,” Merlin started and then looked away. Arthur nudged his face to look at him. 

“Could you what?” Arthur asked. 

“Stay close to me?” Merlin said. He didn’t mention the fact that he had spotted a few people in the crowd glaring at him. He knew his magic could protect him but it would be better if Arthur was close to him. It would keep Merlin safe but at the same time send a message that he was accepted by the King. 

“Of course,” Arthur said. “Hold hands with me?”

“Yeah,” Merlin said, relieved that Arthur had agreed so easily. Arthur smiled warmly at him as he grabbed Merlin’s left hand, intertwining their fingers. “Thanks.”

“Come on,” Arthur said as he walked back into the crowd, Merlin clutching close to him. 

The festival was quite different from how Ealdor conducted theirs. It wasn’t filled with magic swirling in the air neither did it contained children running around trying to get their magic frogs to leap and make beautiful fireworks in the air. No, this was—more subdued and still very foreign to the prince. 

Instead of magic in the air, there were lanterns, all in different shapes and sizes but all held the Camelot emblem on them. They floated in the air and some hung from the lines hung in between buildings. There were food vendors selling candies and what not and children playing with fireworks. 

“The lanterns are pretty,” Merlin said. 

“They are,” Arthur said, startling Merlin. The prince didn’t think the King heard that, not from the noise. “Do you want one?”

Merlin looked at him and then looked at the lantern vendor shop. “Yeah,” Merlin said. He never held a lantern in his hands before and he wanted to know what they would feel like. Would it be as magical when he let them free in the sky like the magic shows back at home? 

A pang rang through his mind at that. He missed his home. 

Everything was so different here and not all for the worse. Merlin still missed his home anyway. 

Arthur pulled him gently towards the vendor and the man immediately bowed, smiling at the King. “My King,” he said. “What can I do for you?”

“One lantern please,” Arthur said and then nudged at Merlin. “My husband would like one.”

The man looked at the prince and bowed at him as well. “Your highness,” he said and then pulled out a few selections of the lanterns. “You can pick whichever you like.”

They looked beautiful to be honest. Even though Merlin knew that he couldn’t keep them forever, maybe for a few minutes at most, he wanted to pick one that he liked. His hand landed to one with a royal purple colour. It was a simple lantern, a cylinder shape with the Camelot emblem on it. But Merlin thought it looked classy. 

“This one?” Arthur asked. 

“Yeah,” Merlin said before he frowned. “I don’t have money though.”

“I’ll buy it for you,” Arthur said. The vendor tried to reject the money but at the end, Arthur had insisted and paid for the lantern. Merlin cheeks reddened when Arthur handed him the fully inflated lantern, burning bright. 

“Remind me to pay you back,” Merlin muttered. Arthur only squeezed their intertwined fingers. “I’m serious.”

“You’re not in debt,” Arthur said. “Just enjoy it.”

Merlin pursed his lips before he nodded reluctantly. He turned the lantern around to see the Camelot emblem and his heart ached at the thought of his own home. Maybe if he had the chance, he could add his own kingdom’s emblem on it. Would anyone notice if he did?

“Do you think I can add in my emblem here?” Merlin asked casually. Arthur looked at him before he looked at the lantern. 

“Can you?” Arthur asked.

Merlin pulled his hand away from Arthur’s grasp and showed the King his hand. Arthur immediately got the idea before he grinned. “Go ahead,” he said as he waved at the lantern.

Merlin sighed before he shook his head. “I miss Ealdor,” he said and Arthur smiled sadly at him. 

“If it makes you feel better, add the emblem in,” Arthur said. “Besides, it’s the truth, isn’t it? It should be your emblem next to mine.”

Merlin’s face heated again but he smiled at Arthur, grateful that he understood. “Later,” Merlin said. “When I’m ready to let it float.”

Arthur nodded at him. 

They continued walk around, talking to some of the vendors and engaging the locals even though Merlin was trying his best to sound friendly. He knew some locals were scared of him, especially with his magic, so he gave those people a smile he hoped would look unthreatening. Arthur seemed to have noticed the slight animosity too and would keep him close at those times. 

“Arthur?”

Merlin turned around when Arthur did, eyes landing on a woman, her eyes bright and her dark skin glowed under the lights. Her curly hair was tied up in a bun, a smile gracing on her lips as she kept her eyes on Arthur. Merlin looked away from the woman to his husband, who was frozen with eyes wide. 

“Arthur,” she breathed out. 

Arthur took a step forward, his eyes searching her face. Merlin felt a slight tug in his chest when his husband didn’t do anything else but just stare at her. 

Arthur then opened his mouth and said, “Gwen?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: I'm back! After a longgggg break. Life. Blame life. And uni life. And--all that effin jazz. Anyways, I'm not gonna say much here. Just, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter~ Thank you to those who have commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story a kudos. Let me know what you guys thought and until next time~! -Krystal
> 
> _I better watch what I say, With pitchforks and torches ablaze, You can’t wait to turn the world against me — Tongue-tied (Our Last Night)_

 

Merlin’s heart stopped beating for a second when the name left Arthur’s lips. His grip on the lantern tightened as he stared at the dark-skinned woman, whose smile brightened. Arthur took another step forward, leaving Merlin behind. 

“Gwen,” Arthur said. “Gwen, you’re here.”

She smiled, her face looked softer than before. Her eyes were warm and beautiful under the lantern lights and they reflected of wishes and hope. Merlin bit his inner cheek as he watched her, his heart thundering against his chest in an unpleasant manner. 

“Sorry it took quite a long time,” Gwen said. She took a step towards Arthur, standing in front of him. Merlin took a conscious step closer to Arthur, even though he felt doubtful and wary of the situation. 

“You,” Arthur began. “Took your own sweet time.”

Gwen’s careful smile faltered to a sad one. “I had to make some arrangements,” she said, her voice low but still loud enough for Merlin to hear her. Merlin frowned at her before he looked at the lantern in his hands. What was she doing here? He thought Arthur said that Gwen was exiled. Why was Gwen here then? 

“What arrangements?” Arthur asked, his voice a mix of fondness and confusion. Merlin’s heart squeezed at the fondness in his voice. 

“He died,” Gwen said, her lips turned upside down into a frown. “A plague or some sort. I…I had to mourn for him before I can leave. I do love him, you know.”

“I’m sorry,” Arthur said. Merlin could hear the sadness in his voice. The prince took a smaller step forward, his fingers itched to grab Arthur’s shirt just so he could take his eyes away from Gwen and look at him instead. He felt abandoned all of a sudden and he hated how childish he felt. He bit his bottom lip, holding the lantern against his chest.

“Thank you,” Gwen said before her eyes moved away from Arthur to the prince. “I heard you got married.”

Arthur’s shoulders tensed and Merlin saw his jaw clenching. “Yeah,” Arthur said as he cleared his throat, finally breaking away his gaze on Gwen to look at the prince. Merlin glanced at him before he looked at her, taking in a deep breath and swallowing his pride to smile at her. He extended one hand towards her as he stood closer to Arthur, almost childishly gleeful inside when Gwen saw him close the distance between them.

“I’m Merlin Emrys,” Merlin said. Gwen looked at Merlin before she smiled and shook his hand. 

“My prince,” she said as she bowed a bit. “I’m Guinevere. You may call me Gwen.”

“Just Merlin then,” Merlin said as he gave her another smile and took his hand away. 

Gwen looked at Arthur and Merlin could see she was confused. “It’s good to see you, Arthur,” Gwen said. She opened her mouth again but then closed it a minute later. She looked at Merlin before her gaze was back on Arthur. It bothered Merlin how she seemed to speculate them. It bothered him so much and he didn’t know why. 

“It’s good to see you too, Gwen,” Arthur said, his voice soft. “Are you going to stay?”

“Yes,” Gwen said. Merlin saw Arthur smiling then, the wide sincere smile that Merlin ever saw once. He looked away, his heart burning in his chest with something acidic. It hurt to see Arthur like that with her and Merlin closed his eyes to compose himself. When he opened them, Gwen was leaving with a smile on her face and Arthur watched her back disappearing. 

Agitated that he was ignored so easily, he bit back the scorn in his voice and said, “I thought she was exiled.” 

Arthur finally looked away from her, smiling wider than before. “I lifted the ban,” Arthur said. “The minute I was King.”

“Oh,” Merlin said as he chewed his inner cheek. He didn’t like that. He didn’t like Arthur was so clearly enamoured with her. Gwen was his first love, he had told him that. Gwen will forever hold a place in Arthur’s heart, whether Merlin liked it or not and from the way Arthur had spoken to her and looked at her, Merlin didn't want to admit it but—Arthur wasn’t over her yet. 

“Anyway,” Arthur said as he gave Merlin his full attention but the prince no longer strived under his gaze. He felt constricted, unable to breathe. Foolish for ever believing or entertaining the idea that he could be someone special to the King. He had his doubts and Arthur smoothed them out—but they were back again. 

“Yeah?” Merlin asked as he looked at his lantern, noticing that the light was dimming. It wouldn’t be able to fly now, sadly. 

“The festival is going to be over soon,” Arthur said, his voice light and giddy. Merlin knew why and his heart ached. “You should let it fly now.”

“No,” Merlin said as he hugged the lantern. The heat almost burned him but it was bearable compared to how much his heart was aching. “I’d like to keep it.”

Arthur frowned. “The light will fade away,” Arthur said. Merlin nodded as he took in a deep breath. He looked at Arthur and gave him a weak smile. 

“Can we go back now?” Merlin asked, his voice void of emotion. Arthur furrowed his eyebrows and he opened his mouth to say something before he thought otherwise and closed it. He then nodded at Merlin, holding out his hand. Merlin didn’t want to touch Arthur, didn’t want the King to touch him at the moment but if he avoided him, then Arthur would know something was wrong and Merlin wasn’t ready to analyse his feelings yet. 

So, he held Arthur’s hand and followed him back to the castle, Gwen’s face in his head and the light in the lantern dimming, just like his heart.

 

***

 

The lantern was dead now as it was placed on the bedside table. Merlin had changed into his pyjamas and he stood near the bedside table, caressing the lantern. He couldn’t get rid of the image of Arthur and Gwen from hours ago, how they looked good with each other. He especially couldn’t forget how Arthur looked when he saw her. 

It was like all his dreams came true. Arthur looked so happy and Merlin had never seen such an expression on his husband before. He frowned and pulled his hand away from the lantern, clenching them into fists. He sighed and crawled under the sheets, tucking himself in as he waited for Arthur to come out from the bathroom. He knew the King had noticed his mood but Merlin was glad Arthur didn’t ask about it. 

Merlin wasn’t sure why he was upset per say, just he disliked that Gwen had elicited such response from a man he was married to. It was jealousy, Merlin conceded after he almost chewed his bottom lip off. He didn’t want Gwen here but he couldn’t help but to feel guilty at that thought immediately after. 

Arthur deserved to love just as much as Merlin did. And despite the promises that Arthur created, despite what he had said to Merlin, in reality, Gwen held his heart much more than Merlin ever could. But did Merlin want to hold Arthur’s heart? 

He was afraid to even think about owning Arthur’s heart because it meant he was willing to let his go. Merlin sighed again, burrowing his face deeper into the pillow as he turned to his side and stared at the bedside table. That was the first thing Arthur had bought for him in person. The lantern quickly became something Merlin treasured. 

Merlin saw Arthur walking out of the bathroom, a pair of pyjama pants hanging low on his hips and a white shirt on him. Merlin took in a deep breath. Arthur joined him under the sheets before turning off the lights, bathing the bedroom in darkness. 

Merlin didn’t sleep, instead, he continued to stare at nothing, biting his lower lip and chewing on it once in a while, worry and hurt furling in his chest. He clenched his fists on the edge of his pillows, feeling like a child. 

No wonder Arthur treated him such. 

A hand touched his hip and Merlin jolted, turning on his back to look at Arthur, whose hand froze in air. Arthur’s eyes were wide and then they narrowed, searching his face. Merlin looked at the ceiling and took in a deep breath. 

“What’s wrong?” Arthur asked. 

Merlin looked back at Arthur, frowning before he huffed out, his breath pushing the hairs on his forehead upwards. 

“Nothing,” Merlin said after a while. 

Arthur raised his eyebrows, the look of disbelief clear on his face. Merlin bit his bottom lip once more, tasting the metallic taste of his blood and cringed. Arthur’s fingers touched his bottom lip, pulling it out from between his teeth and frowned. 

“There’s obviously something wrong,” Arthur said, almost as if he was talking to himself. Merlin pulled himself away from Arthur and the King had no choice but to let go of his bottom lip. The prince then pushed himself upwards to sit. Arthur quickly followed and settled properly next to him. Merlin switched on the lights, blinking for a bit to adjust to the brightness and then sighed. 

“It’s nothing really,” Merlin said as he looked at his lap. From the corner of his eyes, he noticed Arthur had gone tense. 

“Did I…,” Arthur started. “Do something wrong?”

Merlin shook his head because Arthur didn’t. The King didn’t do anything wrong. It was all Merlin’s fault. He shoulders slumped. 

“Merlin?” Arthur said. “If there’s anything…”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Merlin said as he looked at Arthur, feeling guilt gnaw in his mind when he saw the flash of worry in those blue eyes. “It’s just me, don’t worry about it.”

Arthur frowned deeper, his lips almost forming a scowl. He looked distressed and that was the last thing he wanted Arthur to feel. Merlin reached out and touched his hands, squeezing his fingers. It seemed to relax Arthur, even if it was for a bit. 

Arthur pulled his hand away and then entangled their fingers together properly, clasping them tight. Merlin’s face heated up and his heart skipped a beat, but it was quickly pushed away when he recalled of Gwen and Arthur’s reaction to her. He was tempted to bite his bottom lip again but the pain lingering on his lips stopped him. 

“What is it?” Arthur asked, his voice upset. Merlin closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, dragging his free hand down his face in a failed attempt to conceal the hurt. But then he felt Arthur’s fingers touching his face and Merlin knew he was caught. 

“I…,” Merlin started as he dropped his hand on his lap. He looked at Arthur, turning his body around so he could give Arthur his full attention. That seemed to alert Arthur that they were about to have a discussion, his face gone serious and the worry hidden away in the eyes. 

Merlin felt his face flushing again as he tried to form a coherent sentence. Halfway, he gave up phrasing his thoughts properly and opted for a blunter route. 

“Will you really love me?” Merlin asked. His voice that he intended to sound strong ended up sounding weak. He clenched his jaw tight, humiliation spread in his chest as he looked over Arthur’s shoulder. 

The grip on his fingers tightened to a frightening degree. The prince winced and wiggled his fingers but the pressure wasn’t lessening. He didn’t move his hand though, relaxing his fingers so it wouldn’t hurt much. He heard Arthur taking a sharp breath after a while. 

“What do you mean?” Arthur asked, his voice hushed. When Merlin glanced at him for a second before he looked away once more, he noticed a guarded look in the blue orbs. That was not a good sign. Merlin could just feel it in his bones that they would likely end up in argument if Merlin didn’t correct or paraphrase his question. 

But Merlin didn’t know how else to ask the burning question in his mind without sounding desperate and needy. He wasn’t in love with Arthur and yet he knew he wanted Arthur to be by his side anyway. The short moments where Arthur treated him like his equal made Merlin feel special. Like he was truly someone Arthur could hold at night and be with forever. 

He didn’t want to lose that. Whether he saw Arthur as a security for his loneliness or the fact he might—even though he was terrified to admit it in his own mind—might like Arthur as truly his husband than a friend, he didn’t know. All that he knew right now was that Arthur had to be his. 

Had to be his and not Gwen’s. 

But the hard truth was, he was nobody to Arthur compared to Gwen. The woman who held a torch in Arthur’s life and was just a servant girl at that, who was Merlin compared to her? 

He took in a shuddering breathe, his heart clenched making it hard for him to breathe. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said, jolting him out from his thoughts. Arthur’s eyes were sharp and pointed, as if he was waiting for Merlin to say something. 

“Can you really love me?” Merlin asked, his voice low. “Like really fall for me? Head over hells—just…mine?”

Arthur looked at him, his eyes were searching his face and whatever it was that he found, it made him frown. Merlin finally pulled his hand away from Arthur’s grasp, wincing at the soreness around his fingers. He rubbed them as he looked away from the King, keeping his eyes firmly on his hands. 

“You know the answer to that,” Arthur answered after a few short seconds of silence. Merlin took in a sharp breath and nodded once because he knew Arthur had answered this question before. He knew and yet he wanted to hear it again. 

“Tell me anyway,” Merlin said, his voice low. 

“Merlin,” Arthur began. “What happened? Did someone say something to you?”

The prince was tempted to chew on his bottom lip again. The thrums of nervousness that accompanied the trickles of anxiety in his head made him fidget where he sat. One look at Arthur had him moving away from the bed, getting out of the mattress to stand near it. He wrapped his hands around himself almost like a barrier to protect himself from Arthur. 

From Arthur’s penetrating gaze. 

“Not really,” Merlin confessed. He heard the bed sheet rustling and then footsteps on the floor before Arthur stood in front of him, his warmth radiating from where he stood. “Just curious,” Merlin added in a lie. 

It was another few more seconds of silence before Arthur sighed, loud and resigned. 

“You don’t believe me at all, do you?” he asked, a tinge of sadness in his words. Merlin didn’t respond, ashamed that Arthur could easily read him. He looked away, turning his body to the side so Arthur couldn’t see his face. “Are you still wary of me? Of my intentions? Of my words? Do you still doubt me?”

Merlin didn’t doubt Arthur and he was no longer wary of him either. But he did have doubts about how much Arthur could keep his promises of loving him. It was no longer the matter of loving a sorcerer—a wizard. Merlin accepted that Arthur was nothing like Uther. The King was so different from the wretched ruler that Merlin truly believed that Arthur would never betray him like that. 

Even after Merlin had shown him his magic, Arthur, instead of running away or treating Merlin badly, had instead kissed him and held him tight like he was something to be cherished. Those were genuine acts. No man could fake that much sincerity. Certainly not someone like Arthur who wore his heart on his sleeves. 

But Merlin did doubt that Arthur could fall for Merlin, especially since Gwen was now here. Since the woman who Arthur had talked about with love and passion and—pain, was back. The woman who if not banished, would now be Queen. A woman who truly knew Arthur and maybe, even in a way that Merlin will never know. 

And it hurt. It hurt to know that could happen, will happen if not for Uther’s stupidity of banishing Gwen and frighteningly so, could happen right this instance if given the chance. Especially from the way Gwen had eyed him in confusion when she saw him standing next to Arthur, as if she couldn’t believe Arthur could and would love—a man. 

Not a sorcerer or a wizard. But a man. 

“And if…I am?” Merlin asked, half of his tone was wary and the other in sincerity. 

Arthur remained silent. 

“I’m trying my best here,” Arthur said, his voice was beginning to take a turn to frustration. Merlin held back a wince from showing as he bit his inner cheek. “I’m trying here, Merlin.” 

“I’m just,” Merlin said as he continued to look away from the King. “Do you really think you can love me?”

“What more can I say besides yes, yes I can love you one day,” Arthur said. “Is there something specific you need me to say so you can just believe me?”

“I do believe you,” Merlin said, turning around to look at him in the eyes. The blue orbs were a shade darker and boring into Merlin’s pale ones. They were filled with cautiousness and sadness; two feelings that made an ugly colour. Merlin’s heart throbbed in pain at that, feeling guilty for having brought Arthur’s good mood down all because of his insecurities. 

“Then what is this all about, truly?” Arthur asked, his voice quiet. “There’s something else bothering you, isn’t there?”

“Nothing,” Merlin lied. He gave Arthur a fleeting smile that melted away the longer Arthur stared at him in disbelief. “Arthur,” the prince said as he breathed out. “I do believe in you. I’m just…feeling off tonight. That’s all. Forgive me. I—I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

Arthur took a step towards him. “I’m not upset,” Arthur said. “I’m just confused. I thought we were getting somewhere.”

Merlin blinked at the confession, his cheeks heating up. He held himself closer, tightening his grip on his arms. “Are we?” he asked, his heart beating loudly against his chest as Arthur took another step closer. Merlin almost closed his eyes when he felt Arthur’s fingers brushing against his cheek, tucking away a wayward strand of hair to the back of his ears. 

“I hoped so,” Arthur whispered. Merlin’s eyes fell on those lips and his breath hitched when the fingers firmly cradled his face. He dropped his hands to his sides and took the last step to close the distance between them. Their chests bumped and Arthur’s other hand wrapped around his waist until his palm was placed against the small of his back. Merlin touched his shoulders, feeling the muscles underneath his fingers. 

“I get confused too,” Merlin breathed out, whispering back. Arthur’s nose brushed against his and Merlin gave in to the urge to close his eyes. He dragged a hand from Arthur’s shoulders to his hair, running his fingers through the soft locks. He felt Arthur’s breath fanning his upper lip and he wanted to lean and kiss him. 

“Do I confuse you?” Arthur asked him but it sounded like they were losing their train of thoughts. It should alert Merlin that this wasn’t the right time to fall for Arthur’s warmth and smooth moves. This man could end up with Gwen. That woman who had the power to pull Arthur away from him. 

For the first time since he met Gwen, he felt fearful of her. 

Fearful that she would steal Arthur away, that he would lose Arthur to her. 

“I…don’t know,” Merlin said. The answer didn’t make sense. But the only thought in his mind at the moment was to make sure Arthur understood that he wasn’t ready to let Arthur go yet. He was confused of his feelings for the King but he was sure he couldn’t handle Arthur breaking all of his promises right now and leaving him cold. Not after everything Arthur had lavished him with. 

Merlin clenched his fingers in Arthur’s hair and pushed the man close to him until their lips brushed. He heard Arthur taking a gasp and the grip around his waist tightened. “Kiss me,” Merlin said. “Please.”

Arthur didn’t hesitate and kissed him then, their lips mashed and it send a shiver down Merlin’s spine. His knees almost buckled when Arthur kissed him with vigour, as if he wanted to keep Merlin against him like this. And Merlin relished in them, pushing himself closer, even if it wasn’t possible, against Arthur, kissing him back and trying to relay the words he wanted Arthur to hear even if he didn’t have the guts to tell him. 

_Don’t leave me. Don’t let go of me._

When Arthur pried open his lips, gently and filled with affection, Merlin could feel his mind blanking. Before he knew it, he felt Arthur devouring him, figuratively and literally as he keened into the kiss, his body heating up as he trailed his hand from Arthur’s shoulder to his waist and wrapped his fingers around it, clutching the edges of his shirt. 

Merlin let himself get swept off under the waves of everything. It was overwhelming and yet at the same time, it was just what he needed. When Merlin’s lungs burned and his lips felt swollen, Arthur pulled away, breathing harshly just as Merlin did, their forehead stuck together. The hand on his face left to touch his bottom lip and Arthur leaned down to suck on it, making Merlin gasp before Arthur let it go with a soft pop. 

The prince opened his eyes after a while, when his breathing was normal. His face was still hot and when he realised Arthur had been staring at him with clouded blue eyes, he went redder. But there was a smile itching to appear and Merlin let it come out. Arthur’s lips lifted into a warm smile and then once more, before Merlin could comprehend what was happening, his face was against Arthur’s shoulder and the arms were wrapped around his body tighter than before. 

Merlin could feel every inch of Arthur and it sent his heart fluttering even more. Merlin hugged him back hesitantly, fingers bunching at the back of his shirt, taking in a deep breath, Arthur’s scent filling his lungs. His magic bubbled inside of him, happy, less terrified, calm. Arthur’s lips bushed against his temples and he was squeezed a bit more before the grip lessened so Merlin could breathe properly. 

“Keep your word,” Merlin said, words muffled against Arthur’s shoulder. But Arthur seemed to have understood anyway when he felt Arthur nodding. 

“I will,” he said like a promise. Merlin closed his eyes once more as he breathed in Arthur’s scent again. 

Merlin wanted to tell him not to fall for Gwen. To let her go and focus on him like he had been doing all this while but he didn’t. He didn’t want to sound selfish. Even if he found out quickly that he was becoming like that for Arthur. 

That night, Arthur held him with Merlin’s head on his chest while they lied on the bed. Merlin dozed off listening to Arthur’s heartbeat, comforting him that right now at least, he was here. Right now at least, he could trust Arthur to be with him. 

It terrified him just who Merlin was becoming because of Arthur. 

It terrified him just how much Arthur’s attention and affection could change him, make him selfish and greedy. 

It terrified him to the core until he didn’t know what to do with it but just keep it hidden in the back of his mind and hope Arthur wouldn’t catch on.

 

***

 

Breakfast the next morning wasn’t awkward like how Merlin was expecting it to be. Instead, Arthur had treated Merlin like he had always treated him. Arthur didn’t bring up what happened last night even if Merlin knew he never gave Arthur a concrete reason as to why he had acted as such. He was relieved that Arthur had simply kissed his forehead when Merlin arrived at the dining hall, smiling that warm smile of his. 

They talked, but mostly Merlin listened to Arthur telling him what his plan for the day was before the question was aimed at him. The prince stopped midway chewing his breakfast, thinking for a second about how he was going to spend his day. 

“Practise my magic,” Merlin said with a shrug. The truth was, he was going to look for more clues on who M.LF was. He didn’t think Arthur would take it kindly if Merlin told him his real plan. He felt a bit guilty when he saw Arthur smiling warmly at him again and nodding. 

“Magic seems very convenient,” Arthur said. Merlin raised his eyebrows at that. Arthur made circular movements with his fork in the air as he tried to explain. “I mean, it’s all power and no brawn. That seems convenient. Not to mention, magic is stronger than any muscle power. A kingdom would have great defences because of it.”

Merlin hummed as he chewed his breakfast before he said, “Physical strength is important too,” Merlin said. “Having all power and no physical strength is not that good either. Powers can be exhausted. And when magic is exhausted, we might be forced to rely on physical strength.”

Arthur looked at him, thoughtful before he conceded to the point. “That means you can wield a sword, then?” Arthur asked, his eyes shimmering in mirth. Merlin didn’t find it offensive, knowing he didn’t look like someone who could wield a sword. 

“Perhaps,” Merlin said though he knew the truth was he couldn’t wield a sword to save his life. He just could never use a sword without stumbling and harming himself. 

“Would you like to spar with me then?” Arthur asked. Merlin’s gaze snapped at him and his face reddened, knowing from the look on Arthur’s smug face that he was caught out of his lie. Merlin huffed and then sniffed, raising his eyebrows at Arthur. 

“Fine, so maybe I can’t wield a sword well,” Merlin said. “But I can give a mean right hook!”

Arthur snickered but wisely kept his mouth shut when Merlin glared at him. “I believe you,” he said. Merlin narrowed his eyes but he wasn’t truly offended. He sighed when Arthur smiled at him. 

“You’re mean,” Merlin said. 

“I’m not mean,” Arthur said. “I’m just teasing.”

“Your teasing is quite mean,” Merlin said. Arthur rolled his eyes but there was a grin on his face, joyful. Merlin’s heart skipped a beat at the look on his face. It took his breath away again and he suspected that it will continued to take away his breath every time he saw the same look on the King’s face. 

“Do you want me to stop then?” Arthur asked. It sounded playful but Merlin detected a hint of seriousness in them. Merlin held back a smile at that, feeling his chest warming up knowing Arthur cared for him in even the smallest way. 

“You may carry on,” Merlin said. “I have thick skin.”

Arthur’s shoulders which have tensed just a bit, relaxed. 

Merlin smiled then. Arthur’s grin melted and he smiled back, both staring at each other with smiles on their faces. It was intimate and Merlin’s heart rocketed in his chest, his pulse quickening and his face heated. He broke the eye contact first as he looked to his almost finished plate of breakfast.

 

***

 

Merlin walked through the castle hallways, thinking about the person M.LF who Arthur clearly knew but didn’t seem to have a good relationship with. The prince knew he should forget about this quest and throw the book away like Arthur suggested but after the dream he experienced? There was no way he could let this mystery go, not when he was sure that that dream—wasn’t just a dream. 

His magic had reacted and Merlin knew that his magic only felt this protective of him when he was in danger. M.LF was real and was alive and apparently, for some unknown reason, had seen him as an enemy. He frowned at that thought, humming under his breath as he wondered what M.LF’s connection was to Arthur. 

A friend? 

A close member of the court? 

Merlin stopped walking and frowned deeper at this particular idea: a family member?

But that was impossible, Merlin thought as he continued his walking. There was no other kin besides Arthur for Uther. Maybe it was someone from Uther’s side of the family or maybe from Arthur’s mother’s side. Still, a family member seemed far fetched of a theory. 

Just as he was about to turn to the right, his eyes caught on a shimmer from the other way. Merlin stopped and looked at the other path, blinking. Then, there it was—another shimmer. It was like dust and for a while, Merlin was almost convinced it was dust especially when he noticed there were large windows letting sunlight into the castle. 

But with a closer look, Merlin noted that the dust were not acting like how dusts were supposed to act. Instead of spiralling in the air in multiple directions, these things shimmered and moved around in one way, almost like a circle. Tilting his head to the side a bit, he took a step towards the dust and stopped once more when the dust shimmered brighter, and then moving faster in a circle. 

This was magic, Merlin realised. His shoulders tensed and his guard was up, careful of the shimmering particles as he took another step forward. He could feel his magic at the tip of his fingers but they weren’t bubbling inside of him protectively. Something in him didn’t think this magic was hostile. 

“Okay, what are you?” Merlin said as he took another step forward, the dust now disappeared the minute Merlin was one step away from it. And then, right ahead of him, there was another circle of dust, shimmering as well. “Right, so you’re bringing me somewhere.”

Still cautious and a spell ready at the tip of his tongue, he followed the dust, unable to keep the curiosity from his mind. There shouldn’t be any magic in this castle. And even if there was some residue of magic, it shouldn’t be this strong. But Merlin could feel that the magic was getting stronger the more he followed the swirls of dust and finally, Merlin was brought to a silent corridor. Immediately, the prince felt a shiver running down his spine. The urge to walk further down the quiet hallway increased tenfold. What more, the stillness in the air started to nudge against him like there was a pair of invisible hands trying to push him deeper into the quietness. 

Merlin didn’t fight back the urge and continued on his way, his steps faltered to a stop when he saw something shimmering at the end of the hallway. He knew without a doubt that it was a magical barrier, protecting whatever it was behind the barrier from normal prying eyes. With a spell at the tip of his tongue, Merlin took a few more steps forward and held back the spell from being said at the last minute when the barrier broke. 

It was as if it sensed that a powerful wizard was standing in front of it and the barrier broke apart. So, the magic that held the barrier wasn’t as strong as Merlin thought. Swallowing down a lump that formed in his throat, he stared at a door—made out of dark brown wood, smooth and glossy like it was a newly furnished door. It had a golden knob, intricate designs etched around the knob before it swirled towards the base of the knob and flourishing the wood around it. 

Then, he heard it. A gentle hum coming from the door, soft. It wasn’t a sound that could be made by a human, more like the hum of a magic. Merlin recognised what the magic was trying to do. It was beckoning him, appealing to the core of his own magic so he would go inside. Merlin took a small step backwards, slight wariness started to seep in his mind. 

Should he go inside?

After a second of consideration, Merlin shook his head and decided it would be best if he went inside. His magic was teetering at the edge of curiosity and he knew it would be painful if he left now. With a deep breath, he touched the golden knob, mildly surprised that it felt cold in his hands as if it had been placed in a fridge and just taken out. Wrapping his fingers around the circular knob, he twisted it and felt the door give in to the pressure of him pushing it. 

With a gentle squeak, the door opened and Merlin walked inside, his eyes adjusting to the dimness of the room. The light that fell through the holes of the curtains hung by the windows only gave a glow to the room but it wasn’t bright enough for Merlin to properly see his surroundings. Just as he took a step forward into the room, he heard the door squeak again and by the time he turned around, the door had closed shut, a click resounded in the empty room. 

Melin gulped, heart thundering against his chest as he looked away from the door. Right, he needed proper light in here. He didn’t dare to push the curtains apart so instead, he whispered an incantation, causing an orb of light to be formed on his right palm. The light brightened the room until Merlin realised what this room was and took in a sharp breath.

It was a bedroom. 

Dark green coloured bedsheets that seemed to made out of silk was on a bed, the floors were made out of marble and the room had cream-coloured walls. The furniture looked fancy and antique at the same time and just next to the fireplace lied shelves of books, some of them were taken out from their place and opened on the rug in front of a fireplace. What made Merlin perplexed even more was that this bedroom seemed clean. No dust was lying on anything, in fact, it looked static. 

Merlin only had to touched the air with his free hand and his magic reacted, confirming his suspicions that this room was placed under a spell to keep everything stagnant, untouched and proper just the way it was left. Merlin felt like he was intruding, especially now that he knew it was a bedroom. But the other half of him, the curious part, made him take another step inside until he was walking around the room, careful not to disturb anything. 

Just then, his eyes landed on a wall where there was a—map pasted on it. It wasn’t a map of the world, neither was it a map of Camelot or any other region. In fact, it was a map of family heirs. A family tree, to be accurate. There were names on the top before it branched out to other names. Merlin scanned the tree, bringing the orb closer to the map and felt his magic bubbling at the edges of his fingertips. 

Just there, at the very bottom of the tree was Uther’s name. Next to his was the Queen’s name and then it branched out to the very last descendant of Pendragon—Arthur’s name. But Merlin noticed that the branch didn’t just stop at Arthur, in fact, the branch broke from Uther’s main branch to a name next to Arthur’s as if there was another child in the descendant. But that was impossible because everyone knew Arthur was the only child.

Yet, there it was. The branch was connected to an empty blank space next to Arthur but with a closer inspection, Merlin noticed that it was just erased. As if someone had whitened the name out from the family tree. Frowning, Merlin touched the blank space and felt the rough texture. His fingernails itched to scratch the roughness and before he knew it, he had done just that. 

Just as he suspected, a name started to reveal the more he scratched the whiteout. Merlin stopped when he saw the name at last, slightly smudged but it was still clear enough for him to read. His blood ran cold and he took a sharp step backwards, his eyes wide. Immediately, his magic lashed out around him, curling the golden tendrils around his body like a shield. His heartbeat accelerated in his chest and his palms became clammy. 

He finally knew whose bedroom he was in and he could feel the tension, hatred, anger, that was dormant in the room crash on him like a ton of bricks. Having a hard time breathing, Merlin quickly turned around and staggered to the door, yanking it open and got out of there. The door slammed shut behind him and horrifyingly, Merlin saw the golden knob he was holding turn black, rusted, ugly. Merlin stumbled backwards as he let go of the knob, falling flat on his arse as the beautiful door started to rot. 

His magic became violent then as if he had no control of it and it started to seep out of him like something in that room was sucking it. He felt prickling pain on his body the longer he stayed on the floor. No, he knew this pain. He had felt it before—in his dreams. Without a second thought, Merlin got up and started to run away from there. The magic that once hummed now became suffocating and evil. 

As Merlin finally got out of that part of the castle, as he finally ran to the main hallway where there were people roaming about the halls, he finally collapsed to his knees and placed his hands on the floor, taking in deep breaths. A servant girl rushed to his side with another, touching his shoulders and asking if he was alright. 

Merlin ignored her for a while as he tried to take in deep breaths, reigning in the magic that he felt pulled out of him. Everything around him moved in slow motion and he felt nauseous. He closed his eyes for a second, a headache blooming at the back of his head. His magic took its time to get back in control and by the time he could finally feel like the core wasn’t abused, he felt exhausted. He couldn’t hold himself up anymore and felt his arms giving out, making him crash on the cold floor. 

He heard yells and saw a pair of shoes stopping in front of him. He fluttered his eyes closed and felt his mind shutting down—all while the name got stuck in his head, whispering at him with promise—a promise that sent cold dread to the bottom of his stomach. 

_Morgana Le Fay_. 

 

***

 

When Merlin felt his brain coming back on, it was to the feel of a hand touching his forehead, fingers brushing his hair off his face. It was a nice feeling, Merlin concluded, dizzy and weak. He also felt numb everywhere and he didn’t know where he was or what was happening. 

That was until he heard someone talking, almost as if whispering to him and Merlin groaned under his breath, his brain rebooting one memory at a time. A hand touched his shoulder and shook him a bit, and that was enough for Merlin to finally come back on a hundred percent. 

A flash of pain took over his body before it faded into soreness as he took in a sharp breath. He snapped open his eyes and immediately looked at a pair of familiar blue ones. His heartbeat accelerated in his chest and he felt his body shaking, from the exhaustion and fear that he felt hours ago. The memory of what he had seen and felt in that room had him cringing, making him close his eyes as he dragged his heavy arms to touch his ears. His magic bubbled inside of him, panicked, and he wanted nothing more but for the sudden loud ring in his head to go away. 

But then he felt a pair of warm hands wrapping around the wrists, pulling his hands away from his ears. Merlin held back a whimper at that, fear lodging at the back of his throat, his mind unable to decipher that he wasn’t in danger—not really. It was just the adrenaline crash—or whatever it was that had him feeling like this. Residue of what he had felt from when he was in that room. 

“Hey, hey,” a soft voice cooed at him, the hands left his wrists to touch Merlin’s cheeks. They were firm on his face, grounding the prince. “Shh, it’s alright. Come on, open your eyes, Merlin. Need you to see me and breathe.”

Merlin refused for a second until he felt himself being wrapped around tight, his face mashed against a shoulder and the familiar scent pierced through his senses, causing him to gasp. His mind finally let go of the fear as he opened his eyes, realising that he was gasping for air. 

He knew who this was, holding him and whispering against his ears with that kind voice. 

“A—Arthur,” Merlin breathed out and Arthur tightened his hold on Merlin. 

“Shh, take a deep breath, match my breathing, yeah?” Arthur told him. Merlin didn’t feel like asking why he needed to do that, he just did and slowly, he felt his body that tightened moments ago, loosening. His heartbeat slowed down and his mind cleared, the sound left his mind as if it hadn’t been there at all. 

Arthur still held on tight, only shifting his body slightly so Merlin was now sitting. Merlin blinked for a while, looking around before he realised that they were in their bedroom and he was on their bed. His cheeks reddened and he bit his bottom lips, his shaking arms reached to touch Arthur’s back, digging his nails into his shirt. 

“You okay now?” Arthur asked, his voice hushed against his ear. Merlin held back a shiver and sighed, sniffing a bit. His eyes were a bit blurry but that was because he was at the verge of crying due to the panic attack. He groaned a bit and slumped even more against Arthur, to which the King took his weight without complain and tightened his embrace even more.

“Sorry,” Merlin whispered, his throat felt dry and scratchy. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Arthur assured him. Merlin didn’t say anything else, instead, he let himself cuddle against the warmth, wanting some kind of attention on him while he tried to figure out just what the hell happened to him. His magic almost drained out of him and his core was drying out. It was pure luck that Merlin managed to escape that room and not transfixed standing there waiting for his demise. 

Merlin shuddered at that thought and Arthur shifted his grip a bit, pushing Merlin to lie down on the bed before he lied next to him on his back. Arthur then opened his arms and looked at the prince. Merlin didn’t hesitate to crawl into his arms and slump his head against the King’s chest, one arm curled next to his head and fingers spread on the shirt. Arthur’s arms once again wrapped around him, one touched his head, fingers buried in his hair to pat and the other wrapped around his waist. 

“What happened?” Arthur asked after a while. Merlin stiffened in his arms for a second, knowing full well that he couldn’t tell Arthur what he had seen. He didn’t think Arthur would like it very much if he knew Merlin went after something he was explicitly told to forget. He bit his bottom lip as he stared at his palm that was currently flat against Arthur’s chest. “Merlin?”

“I…I don’t know,” Merlin lied, breath hitching at the back of his throat. 

“What do you mean?” Arthur asked, sounding a bit confused even though his voice was hushed. Merlin breathed out, letting his body relax and felt his face flush at how much he liked being close to Arthur like this. And how much he quickly learned, hated lying to him. 

“I just…can’t remember,” Merlin said. 

Arthur’s fingers that were caressing his head stilled. “Do you have a concussion?” Arthur asked. Merlin frowned a bit, flushing a bit more as he nudged his head against the fingers. Arthur huffed out an amused breath as he continued running his fingers through the brown hair. 

“No,” Merlin said. “I just—,” Merlin started and then stopped. After a second of consideration, he took in a deep breath. “Something in the castle almost drained my magic.”

This time, Merlin knew he wouldn’t get Arthur to continue patting his head, not when he had grown so rigid underneath him. “What?” Arthur asked as he shifted, pushing Merlin off him and sat up, leaning against the headboard. Merlin sighed as he let himself to lie on his side facing Arthur for a second before he sat up as well, wincing at the soreness in his limbs. 

“Yeah,” Merlin said as he looked at Arthur. Arthur furrowed his eyebrows, running his fingers through his messy blond hair. 

“Where?” Arthur asked, his eyes flashing in worry. Merlin frowned and then licked his lips, looking away to his lap. 

“Uh, I can’t remember,” Merlin said, even though he knew damn well where it was. He didn’t want to completely lie to Arthur but he didn’t want to tell the complete truth either. This was the compromise he was willing to make. Even if he felt guilty at the end of the day for not telling Arthur what was truly going on. 

“Really?” Arthur asked. Merlin glanced at him before he nodded. Arthur frowned, his eyebrows furrowed as a serious look took over his face. “I didn’t think this castle still had magic left in it to…to affect you.”

Merlin shook his head. “It doesn’t,” Merlin said. “I think it’s just—some residue of it from a long time ago.” 

“Is it?” Arthur asked. “Maybe I should get someone to—do something about it. It seemed harmful.”

Merlin shook his head again, panic rising in his chest as he turned to look at the King. “No,” he said. Arthur raised his eyebrows, blinking at that. Merlin’s cheeks reddened as he cleared his throat. “No, don’t. It—It isn’t harmful, per say. It’s probably my fault.”

Arthur frowned again. “Your fault?”

“My magic,” Merlin said as he raised one of his hands and wiggled his fingers. “It’s just not completely used to this new place, that’s all. It probably reacted to the remaining magic badly.”

“But you—you were so weak, Merlin,” Arthur said. “That can’t be normal.”

_It’s not_ , Merlin thought but he gave Arthur a weak smile. “I’m fine. It’s my fault, really. It’s fine. It should be gone, now that it reacted with my magic.”

Arthur didn’t look like he bought Merlin’s explanation and that—was bad. He couldn’t afford for Arthur to hire someone to check the castle’s magic flow and find that hallway. He took in a deep breath and tried his best to scoot closer to Arthur, wincing once more when his entire body ached. Arthur seemed to notice that and touched Merlin’s shoulder, pulling him close so that Merlin was by his side, slumped against his chest again, head tucked underneath his chin. 

Merlin sighed and snuggled his face against Arthur’s chest, relaxing when Arthur brought his hand to finger through his hair again. “Are you sure it’ll be fine?” Arthur asked. 

Merlin nodded against him. “Yeah,” he said and smiled a bit when Arthur sighed, his nose burying into the brown hair. 

“Okay,” Arthur said. 

“How did you find me?” Merlin asked, recalling looking at Arthur’s feet just before he passed out. 

“Heard them screaming your name,” Arthur said. “I was walking past and heard them.” Arthur wrapped his free hand around Merlin’s body, tightening his grip on him. “It was horrible to see you like that, on the floor.”

Merlin felt the back of his neck heating up as he smiled wider. “Sorry,” he said, his heart thumping loudly against his chest. “You were worried for me, huh?”

“Of course,” Arthur said. “Was so scared.”

Merlin closed his eyes and wrapped an arm around Arthur’s chest, humming against him. “I’m fine,” he assured his husband, his heart light in his chest hearing Arthur’s confession. It was nice, to be worried for like that. He tightened his embrace on Arthur, hoping that this wouldn’t end and Gwen—wouldn’t ruin this. 

Arthur didn’t say anything but he kept holding Merlin until the sun went down and it was dinnertime. When Merlin tried to make him leave for the duties he knew Arthur had left behind, the King only shook his head and smiled at him, telling him that Merlin mattered the most at the moment. 

Suffice to say, Merlin had wanted to kiss him. He didn’t though because he just couldn’t move without groaning in pain. But he beamed when Arthur pecked on his lips either way, as if he could read his mind. Once, it would have bothered the prince that Arthur could do that but now—Merlin never wanted to lose this connection.

 

***

 

Morgana Le Fay. 

That name was connected to Arthur. That woman was Arthur’s sister. Merlin lied on his bed, sighing a bit as he felt Arthur shift behind him, the arm on his waist tightened for a fraction before they loosened. Merlin couldn’t sleep, not even when Arthur’s front was plastered against his back, making him feel safe and cocooned. 

It didn’t take a genius to read a family tree. Merlin had one of his own as well back in Ealdor. It served a purpose to track down generations of heirs and descendants. He couldn’t understand why the Pendragon family tree was locked away like that besides the fact that it had something to do with the missing princess. What nagged Merlin’s conscience even more was the fact Morgana didn’t have Pendragon as her last name. 

Her name wasn’t mentioned anywhere in the history books. She wasn’t in any legends or rumours. In fact, it was as if she never existed and Merlin would have been fooled by that if not for the evidence of the journal and Arthur’s defensiveness when the prince brought it up. 

Merlin bit his inner cheek, turning around on his back before he moved to lie on his side to look at Arthur. Their faces were close, noses brushing and for a moment, Merlin let his mind go blank. Arthur looked beautiful, even in this darkness. His hair was messy and it lied on his forehead perfectly. Merlin made a soft clicking sound as he touched Arthur’s face, fingers grazing his cheek and pushing the blond strands of hair from his face. 

He almost smiled when Arthur scrunched his nose for a second before relaxing. The hand that was on Merlin’s hip shifting until they were once more lying on it. 

Who would ever hurt Arthur? Why would Morgana want to hurt him? 

Merlin’s heart ached at the thought of anything happening to Arthur. Something told him deep inside, after all that he felt and witnessed, that this Morgana woman meant what she said. Merlin knew he should stop, he shouldn’t investigate about her anymore, but he couldn’t help it. Not when he felt so threatened and now that he had Arthur—he didn’t want her to be real and pose a threat to him. 

Arthur didn’t deserve that. 

Merlin sighedonce more and scooted closer to Arthur, holding back a gasp when he felt Arthur’s arm that was on his waist pulling him close. His body was engulfed by Arthur’s, a leg thrown over his thighs and the hand tightening around him like an octopus. Merlin didn’t move away though, instead, he smiled and placed a hand on Arthur’s face, caressing his cheeks. Arthur cracked open his eyes, sleepy. He opened his mouth and yawned, making Merlin to yawn as well before he chuckled. 

“You’re still up,” Arthur said, voice cracking. His eyelids were hooded and Merlin could see even without much light that those blue eyes were clouded in sleepiness. It was adorable, Merlin thought as his face heated up. 

“Yeah,” Merlin whispered. Arthur furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes seemed brighter for a second. Merlin gave him a smile as he touched Arthur’s eyebrows and smoothed the wrinkles away. “Don’t furrow your eyebrows like that.”

Arthur gave him a weak amused smile. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

Merlin gave him a one-shoulder shrug. Arthur licked his lips and sighed a bit, taking his hand away from Merlin’s hip to touch his face, fingers grazing down his cheek. Merlin closed his eyes and let him feel Arthur’s fingers on him before he opened them again. 

“Do you have something on your mind?” Arthur asked. 

“No,” Merlin said and then scooted even closer before Arthur shifted on his back, dragging Merlin to lie on his chest. Merlin settled on him properly, closing his eyes. “Wanna sleep now.”

He heard Arthur chuckling, his chest vibrating underneath Merlin. “Sleep,” Arthur said, his fingers caressing Merlin’s hair. 

Merlin didn’t argue with Arthur as he listened to the King’s breathing slowing down. Merlin tightened his grip on Arthur and closed his eyes, vowing to himself that he would keep Arthur safe. He would find more information about Morgana and make sure she wouldn’thurt him. Merlin should be scared that he was beginning to go such lengths for Arthur…but it didn’t. Instead, it felt right. 

Even if he was still insecure inside, he knew that Arthur was becoming important to him. Whether at the end of the day Arthur felt the same, Merlin was determined to keep him safe. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine. I own nothing but the plot.
> 
> A/N: AYYYYEE. This was about 9K+ words. Woo. Took me three days to write it though haha. Hah. Anyways, I hope you guys like this chapter! I'm a bit unsure of it to be honest, but I'm not entirely unhappy with it, so there's that. I'm just gonna hope that this is...good enough. Thank you to those who have read, commented, bookmarked, subscribed and gave kudos to this story! Let me know what you guys thought of this chapter and until next time~! -Krystal 
> 
> _You sure we haven't met before tonight? Or walked out of a picture in my mind — We Can Be Beautiful (Nolan van Lith Remix) (Thomas Hayes & Nobra ft. Ruby Prophet)_

 

 

“A ball?” Merlin asked as he walked next to Arthur. The King nodded, running a hand through his sweaty hair from training. 

“A charity event,” Arthur said with a smile, glancing at the prince. Merlin hummed under his breath, furrowing his eyebrows before he shrugged, nodding once. Arthur chuckled under his breath before he looped an arm around Merlin’s neck and dragged him close. Immediately, the prince tried to struggled away, pushing insistently on Arthur’s arm. 

“Eww, no, Arthur!” he said, a few bubbles of laughter escaped his lips. “You’re sweaty.”

“You’re my husband,” Arthur said, his lips twitching to form a big grin. He tugged Merlin even closer until the prince had no choice but to sigh and allow the arm on his shoulder to remain. 

“Like that excuses everything and anything you’re doing right now,” Merlin grumbled and yelped when Arthur’s hand that was lying limply on his shoulders grasped Merlin’s cheek and pinched. Merlin slapped the hand away and glared at Arthur, a pout on his lips. 

“Don’t you look adorable like that,” Arthur mused. Merlin scowled, his cheeks reddening at the backhanded compliment and looked to the floor. “Are you blushing?”

Merlin’s face flared redder as he stopped walking and took a step back, making Arthur to take his hand away. 

“No!” Merlin said as he cocked his hips to one side and crossed his arms against his chest, looking away.

He heard Arthur chuckling before he took a step towards the prince. His hands then landed on Merlin’s waist, gripping them tight before pulling him close until they were flushed. Flustered, Merlin dropped his hands on Arthur’s hands and looked at the King with wide eyes. 

“What are you doing?” Merlin asked, his voice low, feeling his heart skipping a beat when he saw something flash in those blue eyes. Arthur leaned down a bit, his breath ghosting on Merlin’s nose. 

“How long do you think we need before I can touch you as I please?” Arthur asked, there was a hint of lust in his voice that sent shivers down his spine. He bit his bottom lip and looked away, shy all of a sudden. His heart was beating loudly against his chest and he didn’t know how to answer Arthur. 

“W—what do you mean?” Merlin asked, nervous, unsure of what to do with his body as he clenched his hands on Arthur’s. Arthur tugged Merlin once more, closer than before, causing Merlin to look back at him and gasp when their noses brushed. 

“You know exactly what I mean,” Arthur said, his voice breathless. Merlin once more bit his lips and before he could comprehend a reply, Arthur had brought one hand to touch his lips, tugging his bottom lip from his teeth. Merlin leaned in and kissed Arthur then, grabbing the back of Arthur’s neck and ran his fingers through the damp hair. Arthur kissed him back immediately, his hand cradling Merlin’s jaw gently. 

Before Merlin knew it, he felt Arthur’s tongue with his and he felt his knees weakening. Arthur wrapped his arm around Merlin’s waist tighter and they were moving a few steps before Merlin felt something solid on his back. Arthur pushed him against the solid thing that Merlin knew was a wall, causing him to gasp against Arthur’s lips when the King pulled away.

Dazed, he let Arthur drag his lips down his neck, tilting to the side while clutching Arthur’s shoulders as he closed his eyes tighter, taking in sharp breaths and letting out breathless gasps. He felt Arthur kissing his heated neck before he kissed a spot behind his ear, causing Merlin to hold back a sound that was trying to make out through his throat. 

His entire body tingled with this heat. He knew if he let Arthur continue, he would be swept away in these waves and he couldn’t think of a reason why he shouldn’t. He opened his mouth to tell Arthur to just do something else now that he was feeling strings of desperation coiling at the pit of his stomach when he heard voices piercing through his lust-addled mind. 

“A—Arthur,” Merlin breathed out, chocking back a moan when Arthur sucked at a spot, marking him. The voices started to become louder and that shocked Merlin like a bucket of cold ice was poured on him. He snapped opened his eyes and just as he suspected, he could see shadows approaching the hallway they were at. Immediately, Merlin slapped a hand on Arthur’s shoulder, trying to get his attention. “Arthur!”

Arthur pulled away, face still buried against Merlin’s neck though, breath fanning his hot skin. Merlin shivered and pushed on Arthur’s shoulders, trying to make him move. 

“Arthur, people are coming this way, move,” Merlin said, his voice a pitch higher from the embarrassment. 

He felt Arthur’s nose nudging along the length of his neck before a wet kiss landed on them and he pulled away, grinning widely when Merlin yelped and slapped a hand where the kiss was placed. Arthur then leaned down and pecked his lips one last time before he took a step back. The prince, red in the face, frowned. 

“Funny,” he mumbled and straightened himself, pushing away from the wall when two servant girls walked past them, greeting them and giggling away. 

“I think they knew what we were doing,” Arthur said as he looked at Merlin once the girls were gone. Merlin’s eyes widened at that and groaned under his breath, covering his face with his hands as he leaned against the wall again, back hunched. Arthur chuckled and closed the distance between them, circling his fingers around the brunet’s wrists and tugged them away from his face. “Hey.”

“This is embarrassing,” Merlin huffed out, sniffing as he looked away. He glanced at Arthur before he looked away, feeling flustered once more when his heart thumped again in his chest at the smile gracing Arthur’s lips. Merlin really liked it when he smiled, it always made Arthur look young, boyish. It fit him, like a normal man instead of a young King who had the entire kingdom on his shoulders. 

“It’s not really,” Arthur said as he took another step forward, pushing Merlin against the wall properly again, his hands left the prince’s wrists and fell on his hips instead. “I think it’s normal to find us snogging everywhere. We are newlyweds after all.”

Merlin bit his bottom lip, knowing full well his entire body was red. “Stop,” he said and his breath hitched when Arthur leaned down, placing his forehead against his. “Arthur.”

“I like it when you grow shy,” Arthur whispered, his hot breath fanning Merlin’s face. The prince closed his eyes for a second, taking in a shaky breath as arousal pooled at the pit of his stomach for the second time of the day. He touched Arthur’s neck and smiled, opening his eyes to stare into the almost sky blue eyes. “And red is a beautiful colour on you.”

To hide how much Merlin liked the way Arthur spoke, the way he praised him that made him want to become pliant and remain like that underneath him, he tilted his head a bit, slotting their lips together for a chaste kiss before he pulled away, watching how Arthur licked his lips, his eyes a tad darker, something primal flashing in his eyes. That look alone had Merlin almost buckling to the ground. 

“You flatter every young lad like this?” Merlin asked, voice pulled in a teasing tone. Arthur pushed Merlin against the wall even more, placing his body tight against Merlins’. 

“No,” Arthur said, a sense of seriousness in his words. A hand touched his face, caressing his cheek before he forced Merlin to tilt his head to the side again gently. “Only someone I find special.”

“Am I special then?” Merlin asked. Arthur smirked. 

“The most special person I ever met in my life.” With that said, Arthur kissed him, and Merlin kissed him back, pulling Arthur closer and tighter against him as he wrapped his arms around Arthur’s neck. 

All the while, his heart rocketed in his chest and he felt light, dizzy from the lust and—something else. Something warm. Something that only Arthur had managed to evoke in him. And Merlin knew what it was immediately.

He found he didn't mind feeling like this for Arthur.

 

***

 

The ball was well—grand, if there was one word Merlin could use to describe it. There were many people, some he recognised and some he didn’t. The gates of the castle were open, allowing anyone to enter in as long as they checked out at security. Merlin was standing next to Arthur, sipping on a glass of champagne, listening to Arthur talking to someone important. 

Merlin honestly didn’t care much for the people here except for the reason this ball was thrown for. It was to help the poor and sick. The old and orphans—it was for a noble cause and Merlin let his eyes scan the big hall, realising that the orphanage had brought the orphans to the ball. They were dressed in their best gowns and shirts, looking beautiful and groomed. 

It made Merlin smile, his heart swelling in his chest. He itched to head to them and just introduce himself so he could look at the children closer. But he couldn’t leave just yet, not when Arthur was here. It would be disrespectful to leave the King for something else and to not pay attention to what was happening in this group. 

He held back a sigh, making a note that he would meet the children by the end of the night and tuned in back to the conversation, sipping his champagne once more. The fat man who wore a tailcoat that was too tight around his stomach not once acknowledged Merlin after the brief greeting. His wife, a beautiful woman with blond hair and sparkling green eyes, did the same, her eyes blazed on the King. 

Merlin had to hold back a snort, not willing to offend these pompous idiots. He glanced at Arthur and knew from one glance that Arthur wasn’t enjoying their company either. Merlin didn’t blame him. This couple just reeked greed. And from the way the wife of the man kept throwing side glances at Merlin, as if she was being discreet, tipped Merlin off that she was probably not keen on Arthur marrying him—man or a wizard, or maybe she had problems with him being both. 

Just as he was about to address her after she threw in a subtle as a-brick-thrown-to-the-face glance at him, she turned her eyes on him. 

“May I see your ring, sire?” she asked, her voice dripped faux sugar. Merlin looked at his left hand, feeling protective of the ring all of a sudden. Uncomfortable, he nodded and let her hold his hand. She cooed at the ring that was on his finger, twirling it. “It’s such a sophisticated ring. I was sure you would’ve been gifted with a—grander—ring.”

“Ah,” Merlin said, giving her a tight smile. He looked at Arthur but he was too busy talking to the man, his shoulders tensed. “I don’t like grand gestures or things.”

The woman briefly frowned as he let his hand go. Merlin curled his fingers into a fist as he brought it to his side, wanting nothing more to go to the loo and wash his hands. The frown was replaced with a smile, sharp at the edges as her eyes flashed. “That’s too bad,” she said, almost sadly as if Merlin had told her a tragedy. “You’re a Pendragon, my Prince. Pendragons do things with flourish and grandness in them, you know.”

Merlin furrowed his eyebrows, confused at what she was trying to say. “Right,” he said and then cleared his throat. “But even if I married to the family, I don’t think my taste would change. Arthur knows that. He designed the ring himself with me on his mind.”

The lady hummed under his breath and then nodded, joining back the conversation with Arthur and the man, leaving Merlin alone with his thoughts. There was some kind of uneasiness in his chest starting to blossom as he tried to analyse what the woman tried to tell him. After a while, all that he could get from the brief conversation was that she thought Merlin wasn’t good enough for Arthur, or to be married to the current King of Camelot. 

A frown fitted on his face as he sipped more of his champagne, gripping the glass tight. He didn’t know what to do with that piece of information and the more he stood around here, the more disturbed he became. 

He touched Arthur’s hand, just grazing his pinky finger against the King’s, feeling his face reddening as he stared at his glass. He didn’t want to stand here anymore, he wanted to go talk to the orphans, he wanted to do something else than be here. Arthur immediately grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers with ease. 

Arthur had stopped talking though and when Merlin looked at him, he found the King looking back at him, a question in his eyes. Merlin bit his inner cheek, looking away to the glass and downing the remaining champagne in one go. He sighed a bit and heard Arthur excusing themselves from the couple. With anod at the couple, Merlin let himself be tugged gently away from them, from the crowd, until they stood at the side of the hall, almost hidden from everyone else. 

It calmed Merlin’s erratic heartbeat, taking in a deep breath. Arthur touched his chin, nudging him to look at him. The prince only gave him a weak smile. 

“What’s wrong?” Arthur asked, his voice hushed. His eyebrows were furrowed, worry written on his face. Merlin clutched on the glass tighter for a second before it was pried away from his hand. Arthur looked away from him and called a waiter, placing the empty glass on the silver trays they were carrying and shooed him away. With an empty hand, Merlin dropped it to his sides, frowning. 

“Nothing,” Merlin said. Arthur raised a sceptical eyebrow at him. “I just…crowds, Arthur.”

Arthur’s eyes widened for a brief moment, his lips pressed into a thin line. “I’m sorry,” Arthur said, taking a small step forward. “Do you want to leave? I’m sure I can make up an excuse.”

Merlin shook his head, raising his free hand to brush some of the blond hair away from Arthur’s forehead. “I’m fine,” Merlin said and then grimaced when Arthur grabbed his hand and squeezed their fingers together, both hands encompassed in Arthur’s grips. “Maybe. But I can’t leave, it’s unprofessional.”

“I don’t want you here if you’re uncomfortable,” Arthur said, his voice low. Merlin shrugged at him. Arthur gave him a weak smile of his own, looking tired for the first time since this ball started. A weary sigh escaped his pink lips, making Merlin to look at them before he flicked his gaze up at Arthur’s eyes. 

“You look tired,” Merlin said with a frown, taking his left hand away from Arthur’s grasp and touching the King’s eyebrows, smoothing them over for a second before he cupped Arthur’s cheek. Arthur leaned down a bit, their noses grazing and Merlin let him do that, nuzzling back before he pulled away, cheeks flushed. 

“It gets tiring easily,” Arthur whispered, as if he was sharing a secret with Merlin and the prince liked it. He liked how they were in their own bubble, easily escaping the reality that was their lives. “If you know what I mean.”

Merlin knew exactly what he meant. “I know,” Merlin said with a humourless laugh. “They were basically ignoring me.”

Arthur frowned. “I noticed,” he said, jaw clenching. “I’m sorry I couldn’t call them out on it. They’re…important.” There was brief disgust in his words that made Merlin smile at him. 

“You don’t have to defend my honour,” Merlin said. “It’s expected. Not everyone would be happy with us being married.” 

Arthur touched Merlin’s face again, cradling his jaw. “Has someone said something to you?” Arthur asked, frowning deeper. “Who was it?”

“Arthur,” Merlin said, touching the hand that was on his face. “It’s fine.”

“Goddamnit,” Arthur whispered. Merlin was a bit startled at the curse, since he rarely heard Arthur speaking in such a way. “They’re vultures. I never knew why Father associated with them willingly. All they do is judge and I swear, one day I’m going to snap.”

Merlin chuckled, a bit amused at Arthur’s rant and at the same time, he wished he could hug Arthur here and drag him away so they could lie on their bed and just cuddle, forget about this world for a while. He kissed Arthur here, just a push of his lips against Arthur’s. He pulled away, smiling a bit more when Arthur sighed, a smile on his face. 

“Don’t forget the real reason this ball is for,” Merlin said. Arthur chuckled, nodding, looking away from Merlin to look across the hall. “I want to meet them.”

“They’re nice children,” Arthur murmured, looking back at Merlin. “Let’s go meet them.”

Merlin chewed his bottom lip before he glanced at everyone else in the room. Arthur only tugged their still intertwined fingers once. “Forget about the rest,” Arthur said, leaning down to whisper in his ear. “I am.”

“Cheeky,” Merlin whispered back. Arthur pecked his lips once more, longer than a few seconds, and then grinned at him. It melted Merlin’s heart, making his entire body feel like goo. His heart skipped a beat as he squeezed their fingers. Arthur then started to walk, heading towards the orphans with Merlin following. 

The children were awed when Arthur and Merlin stood in front of them. The two caretakers were flustered and giggling, bright and happy that their King and Prince had graced their presences in front of them. Merlin smiled at them, feeling his heart once more swell in a way that was painful and warm at the same time. His eyes landed on a little boy, probably only five years old, clutching one of the caretakers’ hands while sucking on his thumb. 

Merlin went on his knees to look at the boy directly in his eyes, smiling softly when the boy pulled his thumb away from his mouth and waved at the prince. “Hi,” Merlin said. The boy beamed, showing off his happy smile. It ached his heart to know that this boy was all alone, with no parents. He was so young, innocent, it was a saddening reality for a young soul to go through. It made him sad. 

“Hello,” the boy said and then pulled away from the caretaker to stand closer to Merlin. 

“What’s your name?” Merlin asked, making sure that his voice was soft. 

“Andrew,” the boy said, his eyes sparkling. “What’s yours, mister?”

“Andrew,” one of the caretakers said, giving Merlin an apologetic smile. “You know who this is. This is the Prince!”

“It’s fine,” Merlin said with a smile of his own, looking directly at the boy. “I’m Merlin. Merlin Emrys. You can call me Merlin.”

“Merlin,” the boy said, testing the name out. “It’s a pretty name.”

“Thank you,” Merlin said, bowing a bit to show Andrew that he really appreciated the compliment. Andrew giggled, high-pitched and happy. Merlin felt this urge in his chest to hug him tight against his chest and protect him from everything. A hand touched his shoulder and he saw Arthur on his knees next to the prince, looking at Andrew with a large smile. “And this is Arthur, Andrew.”

“Hi,” Arthur said with a small wave. “Your name is Andrew, huh? That’s a nice name, bud.”

“Thank you,” Andrew said, looking at Arthur closely. “I have seen you before. You’re the King!”

“Yes, yes I am,” Arthur said, laughing a bit. 

“You’re so cool,” Andrew said, his eyes shining a bit, an awestruck look on his chubby cute face. Merlin held back a laugh at that, feeling his chest warming at Andrew’s clear hero worship on Arthur. “I want to be just like you when I grow up!”

“Oh?” Arthur said, an amused look on his face. The caretakers gasped though, looking horrified. One of them had patted Andrew on the head and when the boy glanced at them, they shook their heads at him. 

“You can’t be like Arthur when you grow up, child,” one of them said. Andrew frowned, a pout forming on his face. 

“Why not?” he asked, almost whining. 

“Because—”

“You can be anything you want, love,” Merlin cut her off. “Anything you want. You want to be someone like Arthur when you grow up? I’m sure you’ll achieve it.”

Arthur nodded with Merlin. He placed a hand on Andrew’s right shoulder, smiling warmly at him. “Just remember to not give up on who you truly are, Andrew,” Arthur said. “That’s the most important thing, to never forget who you truly are.”

Andrew didn’t look like he got it but he took it all in seriously. For the first time, Merlin saw the boy smiling so wide, his dimples showed. “God, you’re cute,” Merlin breathed out. Andrew’s face reddened as he took another step closer to Merlin and Arthur. 

“Can you give us a hug?” Arthur asked, his voice a tad softer than before. Merlin looked away from Andrew to the rest of the children and nudged them to come at them with hugs, opening his arms wide. Within seconds, they were engulfed with children, hugging them tight with laughters echoing in the halls. 

“I’ll see you, Andrew,” Arthur said as he stood up, having hugged everyone. Merlin brushed Andrew’s hair from his forehead, resisting the urge to drop a kiss on the boy’s head. He glanced at Arthur, who looked a bit lovestruck with Andrew and Merlin touched his hand, lacing their fingers together. Arthur pulled him to stand up as well. 

“Thank you for coming over here,” one of the caretakers said and Merlin smiled at her. His mood lightened from before as he squeezed Arthur’s hand. 

“No problem,” Merlin said. “They’re wonderful children.” 

The caretaker smiled, a bit sadly. “They are,” she said. 

“We’ll definitely visit soon,” Merlin assured her. “I…would like to see Andrew more.”

The caretaker’s eyes looked at Merlin before she looked at Arthur, who looked sheepish and nodded. Her eyes widened but then a warm smile curled on her lips. “You’re both welcome anytime,” she said. 

Merlin nodded and glanced over her shoulder at Andrew who was sucking on a lollipop, feeling his chest warming. The boy looked at him and smiled, once again showing his dimples. With a wave at them, Merlin and Arthur walked away from them, silent as they continued to hold hands. Merlin glanced at the King, who glanced back at him before he looked away, clearing his throat. 

“He’s a nice boy,” Merlin said, feeling a bit nervous as he chewed his bottom lip. He didn’t know he could get so attached to someone he just met but that boy—Merlin just wanted to protect him and hold him against his chest away from the cruel world. 

“He is,” Arthur said, his voice cautious. After a second, he added, “It’s too early, Merlin.”

Merlin sighed, his shoulders dropped. He didn’t know why he was even thinking about—about adopting someone, another human being, when he hadn’t even completely resolved his own mess with Arthur. And yet, he was surprised to find that he wanted nothing more but to do just that. He frowned a bit, feeling like his heart was taking things too fast. They hadn’t even told how they actually felt about each other, and Merlin was here, already fantasising about raising a child with Arthur. 

“It is,” Merlin agreed, even if he felt disappointed. “But…”

“Yeah,” Arthur said. “I would like to continue seeing him too.”

“We can visit him,” Merlin said as he chewed his bottom lip. 

Arthur remained quiet before he stopped walking and turned to look at the prince in the eyes. “We should discuss about this when we’re alone,” he said. Merlin didn’t argue with him, knowing it wasn’t a right place or time to talk about this. He nodded and sighed when Arthur kissed his cheek before the royal pair continued walking past people. Arthur stopped in front some of them to talk and greet, a fake smile on his face. 

Merlin once again grabbed a glass of champagne from the nearby waiter and started to sip on it, listening to the politics and what not, occasionally he had to smile tight and nod to whatever it was they were talking about. He got bored halfway and looked away, scanning the hall, taking more sips of the champagne. 

“Finally,” Arthur breathed out once the conversation ended and the group of people left them alone. Merlin nodded, feeling just as drained as he was. They were silent next to each other, not moving from where they stood while Arthur sipped his own glass of champagne that he got the minute he was done with them. 

In the middle of the hall, there were people dancing with their partners, gently, to the calm music. Merlin was slightly mesmerised with it, jolting from his stare when Arthur tugged on their intertwined hands once. “Yeah?” Merlin said as he took another sip of the champagne, looking at Arthur with a smile. 

Arthur looked at the dance floor before he looked at Merlin. “Do you want to dance?” he asked. Merlin’s cheeks reddened and his first reaction was a shake of his head. Arthur chuckled and took a step forward, downing the entire drink into his mouth. “Come on, it’ll be nice.”

Yes, Merlin knew it would be nice. Being in close proximity with Arthur, letting him touch him in front of everyone and to know it would be comforting and safe because he learned quickly that there was no place he would rather be than in Arthur’s arms. Yet—he wasn’t comfortable enough to do it. Not when he knew that he would be stared at. The discomfort was obvious on his face and Arthur pulled his hand away before he touched Merlin’s cheek. 

“Maybe not then,” Arthur said, his voice understanding. 

“Sorry,” Merlin said, his voice hushed, almost ashamed. “It’s not that I don’t want to. I just…can’t.”

“Hey, don’t apologise,” Arthur said. “It’s fine, I understand. Maybe when we’re alone then.”

Merlin looked at him, feeling his breath hitching in his throat when he noticed how warm the blue eyes were on him. “Yeah,” Merlin said, slightly breathless. He felt almost bad that he was taking something that Arthur wanted to do away. “I hope I didn’t disappoint you.”

Arthur frowned. “Why would you disappoint me?” Arthur asked.

“I mean, it seemed like you wouldn’t mind dancing,” Merlin said, looking away to the dance floor. He felt fingers touching his chin and he was nudged to look at Arthur. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said and he gave the sweetest smile that Merlin had ever seen Arthur wear for him. “You can never disappoint me.”

His cheeks burned at that as he looked away, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “You’re pretty sure about that,” Merlin said. Arthur chuckled, his breath warm against the side of Merlin’s face before he felt his lips pressing against the side of his head. 

“You’re precious,” Arthur whispered against his skin, sending shivers down Merlin’s spine, a curl of satisfaction at the pit of Merlin’s stomach. “No matter what happens, you can never disappoint me.”

Merlin turned his head to look at Arthur, only for his nose to brush against the King’s jaw. He sighed and leaned close until he buried his nose against the side of Arthur’s neck. “Sweet talker,” Merlin mumbled. Merlin wrapped an arm around him and dragged him closer until they were hugging. 

“Maybe,” Arthur said. “But it’s still the truth.”

Merlin let himself smile against Arthur’s skin, knowing the blond had felt it. He heard Arthur huffing an amused breath. “You need to be praised often, huh?” Arthur asked, cheekily. “Like a kitten.”

Merlin slapped a hand on Arthur’s back, knowing full well Arthur was joking. “Am not,” he said, a small pout on his lips. “I deserve all affection.”

Arthur didn’t answer for a while and Merlin started to think he had said something wrong when Arthur hugged him tighter. “You do,” Arthur said, seriously. “You deserve everything and I’ll try my best to give you the best of everything.”

“Arthur,” Merlin said, feeling anxious a bit. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“You didn’t,” Arthur assured him. “It’s just the truth.”

“And you deserve everything too,” Merlin said, his voice low but sincere. He hugged Arthur as tight as he could with one hand. “And I’ll try my best to give you everything too.”

Arthur nudged his nose against Merlin’s hair, taking a deep breath. “At times like this,” Arthur said, murmuring. “I’m in awe that I managed to marry you.”

Merlin didn’t know how to respond to that, only knew that his face was completely warm and his heart was beating loudly against his chest. He could only smile bashfully even though he thought the same about Arthur. 

Their moment was cut short though when someone called for Arthur’s attention. Arthur, sighing, pulled away from Merlin and turned to look at who it was that called him. Merlin looked as well before he froze, unconsciously tightening his grip on Arthur’s hand when his eyes landed on Gwen. 

She was smiling at them, looking as beautiful as she did when he met her that day. Arthur relaxed when he saw her, a soft smile on his lips as he took a small step away from Merlin and towards her instead. 

“Gwen,” Arthur said. “You’re here.” Gwen nodded, the smile on her face brightening. “Wow…you look… _beautiful_.” 

Merlin held back a frown at the way Arthur said the last word. He fidgeted for a second as he took in the maroon dress Gwen was wearing and admitted bitterly that she indeed looked beautiful, especially when she wore light makeup and tied her hair in a princess bun that suited her. 

“Thank you,” Gwen said, her cheeks pinking, complementing her dark skin. “You look good today too, Arthur.” Her eyes then landed on Merlin, her face warming even if there was something wary in her eyes. “You too, Merlin.”

“Thanks,” Merlin said, trying to keep the bitter tone from his voice, instead, gave her a pleasant enough smile. Gwen then looked back at Arthur, her eyes flashing in a way that made Merlin a bit uncomfortable and the fact that Arthur grinned at her—it didn’t bide well for the prince. 

Merlin suddenly felt like he was a third wheel, even if rationally, Gwen should be the one feeling that way. He held his breath and felt his heart aching in his chest when Arthur chuckled and ducked his head down, running a hand at the back of his neck, brushing against his hair. 

“Well,” Arthur began. 

“Well,” Gwen said, her voice hushed, but Merlin knew what the warmth in Gwen’s eyes were. Merlin looked away from them and gently pried his hand away from Arthur’s grip. The King immediately looked at him, and Merlin cleared his throat, shoving his hands into his pants pockets to keep himself from balling his fingers. 

“I should leave you two to talk,” Merlin said. “I’m going to grab something to eat. I’m feeling a bit peckish.”

Arthur opened his mouth before he closed it, looking back at Gwen with another smile. “Alright,” Arthur said. Merlin glanced at Gwen and gave her a small nod, holding back the sudden urge to slap the back of Arthur’s head for not asking him to stay. 

With that, he left the two of them behind, wandering off to a long banquet table where it was filled with food and refreshments. Merlin picked the first thing he saw which was a chocolate cupcake and turned to stare at the crowd, aggressively munching on it. Even if he didn’t want to, he kept finding himself looking over to where Arthur and Gwen were talking, at the outskirts of the hall. 

Gwen looked happy, her hands were moving around and occasionally, she would slap her hand on Arthur’s arm. It looked like a friendly gesture, but Merlin wasn’t fooled, not with how Gwen had looked at Arthur just moments before he left them alone. 

He looked at Arthur, who had a really bright smile on his face, his cheeks red and his eyes filled with joy. He had his hands in his pockets, but the way he swayed close into Gwen’s personal space and pulling away a few times, it was enough for Merlin to feel the doubts he had in his mind that night come crashing back. 

Merlin looked away, munching on his cupcake as he felt his eyes tearing up. His heart stung. He felt foolish all of a sudden. No matter what happened between them, at the end of the day, it didn’t change the fact that Gwen held Arthur’s heart first and—

Arthur would always love her. 

Merlin finished his cupcake and glanced at where Arthur and Gwen were, feeling this acidic feeling in his chest when Arthur had raised his hand to touch Gwen’s cheek, just for a bit before he dropped them to his sides. And Gwen had laughed, looking more beautiful than before. 

Merlin couldn’t watch them anymore and left the hall to head to the nearest loo. Merlin threw the cupcake cup into the dustbin and head for the sink, thankful that there weren’t anyone else in here since this loo was opened for guests. 

He opened the tap and washed his face, taking in a few breaths before he looked at himself in the mirror. He slammed the tap closed and leaned close, wondering why he even thought he could have won Arthur’s heart completely. His cheeks reddened at the thought and he felt pathetic. 

Just as he was about to stare at his face some more, someone walked into the room, stopping when his eyes caught Merlin’s from the mirror reflection. 

“Ah, sorry,” the man said, an unsure smile on his face. “Didn’t see you there, Your Highness.”

Merlin straightened himself up, clearing his throat as he wiped his face with his hands. He turned around and gave the man an apologetic smile. 

“No problem,” Merlin said, hoping his voice didn’t sound as weak as he felt. The man stood there, staring at Merlin for a second before he nodded and pointed to one of the stalls. 

“Right, I’m just going to,” he said before he took a step back and hurried to the stall and closed the door. Merlin felt embarrassed for him even though the man hadn’t walked in on something. Shaking his head, he walked out of the loo and to the hall, scanning the crowd to only realise that Arthur and Gwen were missing. 

There was a sharp pain in his chest at that. He tampered down the urge to look for them and went back to the table, grabbing some kind of jelly in a cup to eat. 

“Oh,” a voice said from next to him. Merlin glanced at the person and stopped eating when he realised it was the same man from the loo. The man rubbed the back of his neck before he pointed at the food currently located behind Merlin. The prince immediately moved a few steps away, embarrassed. 

“Sorry,” Merlin said. The man simply gave him a smile. 

“No problem,” he said. Merlin chuckled, looking at the man as he ate the jelly. The man picked a cup of jelly himself, standing next to Merlin to eat. “So,” the man began. “Why is the Prince of Camelot doing here, alone?”

“Ah,” Merlin said. “Food.” Merlin raised his half-finished cup of jelly to show the man. 

The man laughed, looking amused and Merlin laughed a bit as well. “I’m Cenred, Your Highness,” the man said, handing a hand to Merlin. The prince immediately shook his hand. 

“Ah, Merlin,” Merlin introduced himself. Cenred’s eyes twinkled. 

“I know,” he said. 

“You can call me Merlin,” the prince said. “All this ‘my Prince’ and ‘Your Highness’ business is tiring to hear.”

“If you’re sure,” Cenred said, his voice a bit wary. Merlin nodded before shoving another spoonful of jelly into his mouth. 

“Pretty sure,” Merlin said. 

“Right,” Cenred said. “Merlin. So, how’s Camelot so far?”

Merlin hummed under his breath, giving Cenred his full attention. “It’s a nice kingdom,” Merlin said. “I haven’t been here for long but I think this kingdom is pretty nice.”

“It is,” Cenred agreed. “I’ve been around for a few years myself.”

“You aren’t from here originally?” Merlin asked, catching the underlying meaning of his sentence. Cenred sighed before he nodded. 

“I came from a small town,” Cenred said. “Nothing fancy. Decided it would be best to move to Camelot to find more—opportunities.”

“How long have you been in Camelot?” Merlin asked, intrigued. 

“For about,” Cenred started and then furrowed his eyebrows. “Almost eight years?”

“Wow,” Merlin said. “And how has your opportunities been so far?”

Cenred looked at him before he lifted one corner of his mouth. “It’s looking good all of a sudden.”

Merlin blinked at him for a second before his cheeks reddened. 

“Joking,” Cenred said with a laugh, running a hand through his hair. 

Merlin cleared his throat, looking away from the man as he laughed awkwardly. 

“I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable,” Cenred said and when Merlin looked at him, he noticed that the man looked a bit troubled. Merlin shook his head and smiled. 

“No,” Merlin said. “That was—a bit smooth though.”

“Yeah?” Cenred said as he raised his eyebrows, smirking. “I’m pretty smooth if I say so myself.”

Merlin bit his inner cheek from laughing at that. The man looked so proud, full of himself but not in an obnoxious way. 

“Then you must have a lady somewhere,” Merlin said, grinning a bit. Cenred though only shrugged. 

“I wish,” Cenred said. “But I’m an everybody people. It doesn’t _have_ to be a lady.”

Merlin’s grin dimmed a bit when he noticed the twinkle in Cenred’s eyes. Merlin took a small step back, his smile became tight. 

“Well,” Merlin began. “You’re a good looking man. I wish you the best in finding someone.”

Cenred continued to look at him for a while before he took a small step forward. Merlin felt his neck heating up at the sudden look in Cenred’s eyes. His cheeks reddened and he felt uncomfortable. He took another small step backwards, trying to keep a distance between him and the man. Thankfully, Cenred didn’t move any closer. 

“Thanks,” Cenred said, his voice low and coiled with something that Merlin didn’t want to know. “If I may be forward with you—would you like to have a dance with me?”

Merlin huffed out a breath, shaking his head as he gave Cenred what he assumed was an apologetic look. “I…don’t think that’s a good idea,” Merlin said. Cenred raised his eyebrows, looking a bit taken aback at that. 

“Have I offended you?” Cenred asked. Merlin frowned. 

“I’m sorry,” Merlin said. “It’s just…you sounded like you were coming onto me.”

Cenred stared at Merlin for a few seconds before he said, “I thought it would be okay.”

“Okay?” Merlin asked, slightly distressed. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Cenred said. “You’re in an arranged marriage. Isn’t it…typical of couples to you know, take in…someone?” 

He was whispering, but there was slight confusion in his words. Merlin was appalled at what Cenred was saying and took a step backwards, feeling sick to his stomach. 

“No!” Merlin whispered back, harshly. “No, Cenred. I—I don’t know about the others, but I won’t do that to Arthur!”

Cenred raised one hand in the air before he stood straighter. “I’m just saying, Merlin,” Cenred said. “That’s how arrange marriages usually go, so I heard. And you’re attractive, with that beautiful icy blue eyes and fair skin. I had to try my luck.”

“E—Excuse me?” Merlin asked, stunned at how blunt Cenred was being. It offended him that he was spoken to like that, like he was a piece of eye candy. He frowned and shook his head, disgusted. 

Was this what everyone thought about Arthur and his marriage? That it was nothing else but just a tie between two kingdoms? That there could be no love in this? 

“I think you should leave me alone,” Merlin said. 

“Merlin,” Cenred said with a sigh that sounded almost malicious. “Come on, consider my offer, yeah? I could you show you the time of your life.”

Merlin turned to glare at him. But Cenred was only smiling, smirking, with that devious twinkle in his eyes. “Leave,” Merlin said. Cenred raised his eyebrows, almost mockingly. And to think Merlin thought this man could be any different from the idiots out there. 

“What’s going on here?” Arthur said, as he stood behind Cenred. Cenred turned around before he looked at Merlin, grinning widely and then looked back at Arthur and nodded. 

“Nothing, your Highness,” Cenred said before he excused himself. With one look at Merlin, Cenred walked away, disappearing among the crowd. Merlin bit his inner cheek, the disgust still in his veins. Arthur took a few steps towards Merlin, eyebrows raised. 

“Hey, you okay?” Arthur asked, sounding worried. Merlin shook his head and slammed the empty cup on the table. 

“Where the hell were you?” Merlin hissed. “You left me all alone!”

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows. “I was…talking to Gwen.”

Merlin’s lips thinned at that as he sighed. “Of course,” Merlin murmured. “And you had to do it elsewhere? Away from everyone?” _Away from me?_

Arthur looked surprised at the outburst. “Uh,” Arthur began as he took another small step forward, as if he wasn’t sure if it was alright to do so. “It’s just, it was quite loud here. So, I brought her to the gardens to catch up.” 

Merlin wanted to leave. What Cenred said was haunting his mind. It sickened him to think that they thought their marriage was nothing but a scam. Nothing but just a political move, nothing else. And it didn’t mean anything to them about the vows they made for each other. He hadn’t realised that he was frowning heavily and there were tears in his eyes until he felt Arthur’s hands touching his cheeks, nudging him to look at the King. 

“Merlin,” Arthur breathed out, eyes wide. “What happened? Did he say something to you?”

“I,” Merlin began and then closed his mouth, pushing Arthur’s hands from his face. “I want to leave. I’m leaving. I’m going to our room.”

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows but he didn’t say anything else as he nodded. Merlin pushed past him, shoulders brushing as he looked down at the floor and continued his way out of the large hall and to the wing where their room was. 

He took in a few shuddering breaths as he wiped his eyes, feeling like an idiot. Tonight wasn’t supposed to make him feel like this, like he was worth nothing. After he realised what he felt for Arthur, for the first time in his life, he decided to let it be, let it grow.

But how could he let it grow if Arthur was fixated on Gwen?

Despite what he said, one look at Gwen and Arthur forgotten Merlin ever existed. 

It hurt. 

And now to learn that almost everyone viewed the marriage they had as nothing—it was a blow to his heart. Merlin had always looked at marriages as sacred, especially when his magic would likely one day bond with someone. And for someone to walk up to him and blatantly disrespect that, and to top it off; Arthur proving to them that they were right in his own actions was painful. 

Merlin stopped walking as he took in a deep breath, the tears running down his face as he looked at the floor, fists at his sides. 

He was in love with Arthur. He had fallen so fast for the man even if he vowed to himself that he wouldn’t be swept by his feet by him so soon. But here he was—Arthur. The man he fell for because of his smiles and ambitions and words and actions. The first person he fell in love with. The first person who he kissed and likely, the first person to own every single part of him in more than one way. 

And to Arthur, it wouldn’t be the same. 

His heart broke. 

He continued walking to their bedroom, walking inside before he slammed the door closed, rushing to the bathroom. He stripped off his clothes and took a hot shower enough to scald his skin. But at least this pain was more welcoming than the pain in his chest.

 

***

 

“Are you not going to say anything?” Arthur asked as Merlin sat at the edge of their bed, in his pyjamas, staring at his hands on his lap. Meanwhile, Arthur had just taken a shower, wearing his usual pyjama pants with a loose shirt as he stood in front of the prince. “Merlin…what’s going on?”

Merlin bit his bottom lip, refusing to look at the King. 

“Merlin,” Arthur sighed before he went down on his knees, looking at Merlin. “Talk to me.”

“Just,” Merlin began, weak. “Leave me alone.”

“Are you mad that I left you alone?” Arthur asked as he touched Merlin’s hands. “I’m sorry. I thought you’d be fine.”

Merlin shrugged Arthur’s hands off and looked at him. There were many questions running in his mind, coupled with the recent disturbing fact he found. Arthur furrowed his eyebrows, scooting closer to Merlin. 

“Tell me the truth,” Merlin began, his voice croaking. Arthur frowned before he nodded. 

“Of course,” Arthur said, seriously. 

Merlin stared into Arthur’s eyes for a second before he took in a deep breath, gathering every fibre of courage he had in his body to say, “Are you still in love with Gwen?”

The silence afterwards was deafening. Arthur’s eyes widened as he looked at Merlin, shocked. Merlin, on the other hand, had scooted backwards on the bed, curling his legs towards his chest when he realised Arthur wasn’t answering him. His heart throbbed painfully. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said, his voice barely a whisper. 

“Are you?” Merlin asked his voice muffled as he put his face on his knees, wrapping his hands around his body. 

He felt the bed dip on his right side. “Can you look at me?”

Merlin sighed as he placed his chin on his knees, glancing at Arthur but that was all he was willing to do. Arthur sighed, aloud. 

“I’m—,” Arthur began and then stopped. “I’m not.”

Merlin hunched his shoulders a bit. “You’re not?” he asked, hesitantly. 

“No, I’m not in love with Gwen anymore,” Arthur said, his voice crisp and clear. Merlin felt his eyes watering and he was about to curl into himself when Arthur touched his face withone hand and the other hand was on his shoulder, trying to get him to look at Arthur. Merlin let the blond do that until he was staring into Arthur’s eyes, legs sprawled carelessly on the bed, bent around Arthur’s legs. 

Arthur touched his face and pulled him close, Merlin stumbling a bit until he realised he was on Arthur’s lap. He gripped Arthur’s shoulders, nails digging into the muscle before he relaxed, cheeks blazing red and teary-eyed. 

Arthur sighed a bit as he laid a hand at Merlin’s back, rubbing it up and down while caressing Merlin’s cheek. 

“Is that what got you so sad, huh?” Arthur asked, his voice low. Merlin gave him a shrug but Arthur only frowned. “Merlin, I wouldn’t do that to you. I wouldn’t…cheat on you, okay?”

“I…,” Merlin began. “I just don’t understand.”

“You don’t understand what, love?” Arthur asked. The nickname had Merlin blushing even more as he sighed. He raised his hands and placed them on Arthur’s face, cradling it. 

“Why would you try with me?” Merlin asked, almost pained. “You loved Gwen. You were in love with her. When you spoke of her when we met—she was special to you. I could still see it, you know, whenever she comes around.”

Arthur looked disgruntled at that. “I would never,” Arthur said, stern. “I would never abandon you like that.”

“But you don’t deny that she would be the one for you, right?” Merlin asked, his breath hitching in his throat. “If you weren’t married with me, if you hadn’t made these promises, you would be with her, wouldn’t you?”

Arthur closed his mouth. Merlin took in a sharp breath, nodding once. “No, no, Merlin,” Arthur began as he tightened his grip on Merlin. “I can’t…I can’t tell you that I wouldn’t have chosen her. If she was here, if I hadn’t met you, love, I would marry her, yes.”

Merlin closed his eyes. “I know,” Merlin breathed out. 

“But Merlin,” Arthur said with a light chuckle, causing Merlin to open his eyes to look at the blond. “You’re the one I met. You’re the one I married. Not her.”

“Only because you had to, Arthur,” Merlin said as he griped Arthur’s face a bit tighter. “You wouldn’t have even looked at me if you weren’t forced into this.”

“It wasn’t forced on me,” Arthur said, his voice firm. “I chose this. I…I chose you.”

“Only because you wanted to end the war,” Merlin said, bitterly. 

Arthur sighed before he smiled, a bit warily. “True, I did,” Arthur said. “And I don’t regret it.”

Merlin only continued to look at him with a blank look on his face. Arthur smiled wider then, brushing his fingers at some of the hair that fell on Merlin’s forehead. 

“You’re special to me now,” Arthur said. “You’re magnificent, love. You’re beautiful, especially when you’re in your element. I never seen anyone wield magic the way you do. I don’t regret marrying you and I certainly don’t regret getting to know you.”

Merlin bit his bottom lip as he scanned Arthur’s face for any lies, any deceit and he couldn’t find any. 

“I’m telling you this,” Arthur said. His voice was soft but they were filled with promise. “You’re the one I’m starting to see a full future with. With being in love with and—having a family with.”

“Arthur,” Merlin said, his voice held back a lot of emotion in his voice. 

“I’m sorry I made you feel like that,” Arthur said. “There’s only us. Only us. No one else, okay?”

“Do you even like me like that?” Merlin asked, tears blurring his vision. 

Arthur remained quiet. “Yeah,” Arthur said. “Yeah, I like you like that, Merlin.”

Merlin felt his heart stuttering in his chest. The words got stuck in his throat as his eyes widened. 

“R—really?” Merlin asked, almost in awe. 

“Yes,” Arthur said. “I’m not lying. You’re so much more than I thought you would be. I like you, Merlin. Like that. I might even be falling for you, you know.”

Merlin couldn’t help but to laugh a bit, wiping his eyes when Arthur touched his wrists, pulling them away from his face. His heart was thumping loudly against his chest. 

“You’re the one, you know,” Arthur breathed out, almost like a silent promise. “I’m starting to see that you’re the one.”

Merlin hugged Arthur then, pulling his wrists away from Arthur’s grasp and wrapping it around Arthur’s shoulders. 

“I know I’ve been difficult,” Merlin said, almost babbling as nervousness started to seep into his skin. “And I might continue to still be difficult on some days. But…I like you a lot, Arthur.” After a beat of silence, he added, “You actually kept your promise.”

Arthur stilled at that before Merlin heard him taking a sharp breath. A hand touched the back of his neck, massaging it a bit. 

“Are you?” Arthur asked. 

“I know you might not love me yet,” Merlin said his voice hushed. “But I’ve already fallen.”

He gasped when he was suddenly pulled away from the hug and forced to look at Arthur in the face. Arthur’s eyes were side as they searched the prince’s face. Merlin didn’t look away even if he was beginning to feel shy, his face reddening and he began twitching on Arthur’s lap. He held himself back from wringing his hands together as the silence stretched on. 

And then, Arthur smiled. They were wide, beautiful, bright, and hopeful. 

Merlin had never seen anything more beautiful than this as of the moment. 

“ _You love me_ ,” Arthur said, almost in awe. 

“Y—yeah,” Merlin said. Timidly, he asked, “Will you catch me?”

“Yes,” Arthur said before he pulled Merlin close to him again. “Yes, Merlin, _yes_.”

Merlin hadn’t realised that he could manage to put such a look on Arthur’s face and his heart fluttered, happy that he did. Suddenly, he was pushed away and Arthur got out of bed, his hands on Merlin’s wrists, tugging him out of bed as well. Merlin stumbled a bit and caught himself by catching Arthur’s shoulders, laughing as he felt Arthur holding his hip. 

“Dance with me,” Arthur said. “Now that we’re alone.”

“Arthur,” Merlin said, a sweet smile on his face. 

“You made my day,” Arthur said as he leaned his forehead against Merlin’s. “You have no idea how happy I am right now.”

“You make me happy,” Merlin said. 

“I’m not in love with you yet,” Arthur said. “But I feel like it’s going to happen soon.”

“Stay with me,” Merlin said and Arthur smiled, leaning closer until their noses brushed in an eskimo kiss. 

“Always,” Arthur said. “No one else, Merlin.”

Merlin felt giddy, knowing that Arthur was telling the truth. “No Gwen?” Merlin couldn’t help but to ask and he got kissed, chaste, chiding. It made him flush in slight embarrassment but Arthur only chuckled. 

“No Gwen,” Arthur said. “I promise.”

And Arthur hadn’t broken any promises yet, so Merlin was inclined to believe that this was one of them too. Merlin kissed Arthur again, letting himself to be pulled in closer until their bodies touched at every angle. 

“I love you,” Merlin said, the first time voicing the words and feeling a bit scared of it. But the fears were put to rest when Arthur kissed him and hugged him tight, burying his face at the crook of Merlin’s neck. Merlin hugged him back tight and they swayed gently, without any rhythm. 

“Thank you,” Arthur whispered. “For trusting me to fall.”

Merlin hummed under his breath, overwhelmed at how much this was affecting him and Arthur. Merlin burrowed his face against Arthur’s shoulder. “And you can trust me to fall too,” Merlin said, muffled but he knew Arthur understood when the hug tightened. 

And they stood like that, swaying a bit as they were wrapped around each other. Merlin felt the pain from before disappearing, the doubts washing away and whatever Cenred had said was forgotten. If no one else could see that it was possible to be in love in this marriage, then it wasn’t worth explaining about it. 

Merlin closed his eyes and inhaled Arthur’s scent, calming him down. 

He loved Arthur. And to think it all started with Merlin hating him and having the wrong ideas about him. 

Now, Merlin’s entire world was turned upside down. And he liked it and hoped Arthur would continue to do that to him.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: Here you guys go! It's pretty much fluff and mild angst to be honest. Mostly fluff. I think I went overboard with it. Gosh, my teeth is gonna rot. Anyways, I'm thinking this chapter kinda bumped up the rating? Should this be at M instead of T? I'm not sure, so please do let me know! Thanks to those who have commented, bookmarked, read, subscribed and gave this story a kudos! Let me know what you guys thought of this chapter and until next chapter~! -Krystal

 

“What about that man?” Arthur asked as they settled in their bed. Merlin was curled up on Arthur’s chest, one hand splayed on the blond’s chest, fingertips grazing the white shirt with gentle motions. Arthur meanwhile had his hand in Merlin’s hair, fingers running through the unruly locks. It was calming and it made him drowsy. He was almost asleep when Arthur asked the question. 

“What man?” Merlin asked, eyes closed as he snuggled into Arthur. Arthur merely pulled Merlin closer as a response. 

“The man you last spoke to,” Arthur said. Merlin frowned and blinked open his eyes, looking up at Arthur, who was looking back at Merlin. 

“Why aren’t you asleep?” Merlin asked with a scowl, not bothering to let the question sink into his mind. 

Arthur’s lips twitched upwards, amused. 

“It’s been bothering me,” Arthur confessed, his smile dimming turning into a frown. Merlin sighed as he tucked his chin on Arthur’s chest, giving him his full attention. He blinked at the blond, waiting for Arthur to repeat his question. “The man who seemed to offend you at the table.”

_Oh_. 

Merlin knew who Arthur was talking about. He looked away from Arthur then, frowning. He dragged his hand from Arthur’s chest to his side, digging himself closer to him as he thought of what Cenred had said. 

“Merlin?” Arthur asked, his voice soft and calm. 

“Cenred, he told me he wanted to bed me,” Merlin spoke, his cheeks ablaze in anger. He felt Arthur still, the hand in his hair stopped moving. 

“ _What_?” Arthur said, his voice tight, laced with confusion and anger. Merlin sighed before he rolled away from the blond, landing on his back as he stared at the ceiling. Arthur turned to his side facing the prince, propping one elbow up to stare down at Merlin with eyebrows furrowed and a frown on his face. “He wanted to _sleep_ with you?”

“Yes,” Merlin said, looking at Arthur with worry in his eyes. “He said some things that disturbed me too. Besides the whole wanting to have sex with me.”

“What do you mean?” Arthur asked, his voice if possible had gone tighter. His eyes were now stormy, filled with more anger. Merlin cowered a bit, not having seen Arthur like this before even if the rational part of him reminded that Arthur wasn’t mad at him. “Merlin, tell me what happened, from the very _beginning_.”

Merlin licked his lips, telling Arthur about Cenred from the beginning like Arthur requested. “We met at the loo first. I was—upset that you seemed to be in close acquaintance with Gwen and he walked in when I was staring at myself in the mirror. He seemed fine at first, apologising and stuttering his way to the bathroom. Then, when I went back out to eat, he seemed to be there too and we conversed for a bit. I thought he was different. He sounded genuine enough.”

Arthur had multiple emotions running in his eyes. From anger to exasperation before turning into slight fondness. He nodded at Merlin, urging him to continue. 

“Then, he talked about how he moved to Camelot to find more opportunities and I asked him if he had any luck so far and he—he came onto me. I rejected his advances immediately, Arthur. I swear, I didn't even entertain him more after that, I promise,” Merlin said, starting to feel a bit of panic seeping into his skin when he saw Arthur growing tenser. The King frowned, eyeing Merlin before he shook his head.

“Merlin,” he said, silencing the prince. “I believe you. I know you won’t betray me like that.”

Merlin nodded. “Yes, exactly, that’s what I said to him. I told him that I will never do that to you. And…and he seemed shocked.”

“What?” Arthur murmured. 

“Yeah, _shocked_ ,” Merlin said with a stifled sigh. “He said that he heard arranged marriages are usually loveless and he wanted to ‘show me a good time’. He wanted…if I’m not mistaken and I’m pretty sure I’m not, he wanted to take me to bed and become my lover.”

Arthur had sat up then, his face flushed red and so were the tips of his ears. Merlin could feel the anger rolling off him as he gingerly sat up as well, switching on the bedside lamp. He hesitated before he placed a hand on Arthur’s shoulders. 

“This will never be a loveless marriage,” Arthur said as his shoulders relaxed. He looked at the prince, eyes full of sincerity and—fondness. Merlin felt his heart skip a beat as he clenched on Arthur’s shoulder, nodding, eyes wide and lips parted a bit. 

“I know that,” Merlin said, feeling shame creeping underneath his skin for thinking he might be unloved just hours ago. Arthur touched the hand on his shoulder and brought it to his lap, interlacing their fingers. 

“Love,” Arthur said, staring into Merlin’s eyes. “You’re the only one for me.”

Merlin smiled, bright and warm as he felt the urge to cry. He scooted closer to Arthur and laid his head on the King’s shoulder. He let Arthur wrap an arm around his waist and drag him close to once more sit on his lap. His legs were folded against Arthur’s hips while he wrapped his hands on Arthur’s shoulders, his warm face tucked against Arthur’s neck.

The King held Merlin securely. The other hand travelled upwards to Merlin’s neck and squeezed his nape tight, comforting, causing Merlin to feel safe in his arms. 

“Me too,” Merlin whispered. 

“Is that what’s bothering you?” Arthur asked, anger returning in his voice. Merlin hugged him tighter. “If I see Cenred again, I will not hesitate to punch him in his face.”

“I hated the way he talked to me,” Merlin said, biting his bottom lip. “He spoke to me like I was nothing but a piece of meat.”

“What did he say?” Arthur asked. 

“He said I had beautiful icy blue eyes and fair skin,” Merlin said with a shudder. “He said it in a way that held no affection—nothing but lust and I was looked at like that’s all I could be good for.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said, his voice strangled. “You’re _beautiful_. You’re so _so_ beautiful. Handsome when you want to be, cute when you grow shy and confused, but you’re always beautiful, even when you’re throwing a tantrum.”

“ _Hey_ ,” Merlin said, weakly without any venom. He felt a smile curling on his face, feeling warmer when Arthur praised him instead of feeling disgusted when Cenred had done the same. 

“I will make sure no one ever speaks to you like that,” Arthur vowed, vehemently. “You shouldn’t have been spoken to like that.”

“Thank you,” Merlin said. “But…”

Arthur hummed, nodding against Merlin’s shoulder. Merlin took that as cue to continue. 

He hesitated for a second before he said, “But that’s not what bothers me. Not that only. It was also the thought that maybe—everyone else had thought the same about our marriage.”

“Merlin,” Arthur began but Merlin squeezed him in his grip, shaking his head. 

“I know, I know, for us it’s not,” Merlin said. “But I don’t think anyone else gets that. From just Cenred alone, I feel like it’s not only him who have thought our marriage means nothing but a diplomatic mission accomplished. I feel… _threatened_ , if I’m being honest, at the thought that nobody once saw our marriage as something more, as something sacred, as if we wedded for nothing more, and deciding that they could still win a hand at any one of us in bed and out.”

Merlin took in a shaky breath at the thought of losing Arthur to someone like that. 

“I hated the thought, _hurt_ at the thought that someone might be brave enough to think they can have you,” Merlin confessed. 

Arthur didn’t say anything and Merlin could hear his heartbeat loud in his chest. He felt shame heightening in him, eyes watering at the thought of being called a fool, thought of an idiot for thinking like that. 

Arthur then pushed Merlin off him slowly, touching his face with the fiercest look Merlin had seen on him. It made his blood run cold. 

“Arthur?” Merlin whispered, meek, unsure of himself. He was nervous as well as he placed his hands on his lap, not touching the King. 

Before Merlin could react, Arthur had tugged Merlin closer and kissed him, fierce and filled with desperation. Merlin kissed him back immediately, winding his hands on Arthur’s neck and adjusted himself on Arthur’s lap, his heart rocketing in his heart as warmth pooled at the pit of his stomach with the beginning trace of lust. 

When Arthur finally pulled away, they were both breathing heavily and Arthur brushed his cheeks, his hot breath fanning Merlin’s lips. Their foreheads were stuck together, staring at each other. 

“You’re _mine_ ,” Arthur said, something like a growl escaped his lips and Merlin felt a shiver running down his spine. He didn’t mind the feeling, instead, he— _liked_ it—as he felt his face heating up. “I won’t let you go. No matter what happens.”

Merlin watched the emotions play on Arthur’s face as he touched his face. Arthur tilted into his hand and kissing Merlin’s palm, eyes still fixed on him. 

“To those who doesn’t believe our marriage means much,” Arthur said, his lips thinned. “I will make them understand. If I hear rumours, if anyone dares to come to my face and say the things they said to you, I promise you, I won’t hesitate to do damage.”

“I love you,” Merlin said, his eyes watering again. This time, it was because he felt overwhelmed under Arthur’s protective and possibly possessive gaze, feeling more cherished than he had ever felt. “It hurts to know some of your people don’t see me as a fit for you.”

“No one else can compare,” Arthur said. “And if anyone comes to defy that, I will make them understand. You’re mine. Nobody should _ever_ disrespect you. Just like they respected me, they should do the same to you and our marriage.”

Merlin nodded, eyes fluttering close when Arthur rubbed his thumbs over the tears. He gasped a bit when Arthur kissed him again. When he opened his eyes, the anger and offence with the heavy accent of protectiveness in Arthur’s eyes were gone, replaced by warmth and—love. 

“And you’re _mine_ ,” Merlin breathed out. “I’m not going to let you go for anything or anyone.”

Arthur’s lips quirked upwards, a look of happiness crossed his face as he gently pushed Merlin until he landed on his back on the sheets, his hands locked around Arthur’s neck. His face reddened as he stared up at the King, feeling his heart fluttering in his chest when Arthur closed the distance with his hands at either sides of his face, body flushing on his. 

“I’m yours,” Arthur agrees as he brushed a hair off Merlin’s forehead, leaning upwards to kiss his forehead. He dragged his nose down to nuzzle Merlin’s. A huff of laughter escaped the prince’s lips and Arthur echoed it. Arthur searched his face before he leaned down and kissed him again. This time, it was fuelled with something more, sending shudders down his body, pooling at the bottom of his spine in a way that had him leaving breathless. 

He tilted his head to the side and kissed him back, eyes fluttering closed as he ran his fingers through Arthur’s hair and one hand tugging Arthur’s body to completely lie on him as he parted his legs and allowed him to settle in between. 

A thumb caressed his jaw, coaxing him to open his mouth and he keened, his mind growing fuzzy when he felt Arthur’s tongue in his mouth. He tentatively met Arthur’s tongue with his, shy and unsure even through this fog of lust and love. 

He felt himself being pushed into the sheets even more the longer they kissed, devouring each other until Merlin felt himself pant when they broke away. Arthur dragged his lips down to his jaw, kissing him as a hand touched the collars of his pyjama shirts, touching the buttons but not doing anything else. 

Merlin, though, didn’t resist, instead tilted his head to the side and gave more access to Arthur’s lips, sucking on the skin on his neck, choking back gasps and hitches in his breath. He opened his eyes a bit only to bite his bottom lip until he tasted blood when Arthur sucked particularly hard at a sensitive spot on his throat, tilting his head away, stretching his neck, hurting a bit as he felt his body flushing in a way he always felt when he was alone—never with anyone else. 

Arthur pulled away and let his forehead lie on the bed next to Merlin’s head. They were both breathing harshly. Merlin shifted underneath Arthur’s body and moaned under his breath when he felt something hard poking his inner thigh. He hadn’t even noticed that he had one leg curled around Arthur’s waist. 

Merlin knew he was hard too but he didn’t dare to move, the fog of lust slowly faded away when he realised what happened. But he wasn’t freaking out like he thought he would. Instead, he was running his fingers through Arthur’s hair, focusing on breathing and relaxing. He turned his head and kissed Arthur’s hair. 

“I think it’s going to bruise nicely,” Arthur murmured against his ear, playfully nudging Merlin’s ear with his nose. Merlin raised his eyebrows when Arthur pulled up to see him, a smirk on his face. 

“What?” Merlin asked, a bit confused until Arthur touched his neck, his thumb grazing at a spot on his throat. Then, Merlin squeaked, his eyes wide as his face flushed again. “ _Arthur_!” he said, a bit scandalised. Arthur, though, looked smug. “How—How big is it?”

“Oh, it’s pretty obvious,” Arthur said, humour in his voice. “It’s perfect. That’ll show them. Loveless, my arse.”

Merlin was taken aback for the second time today at the coarse language. In fact, it sounded funny coming from Arthur, who always carried himself in a dignified manner. Arthur noticed the look on his face and raised his own eyebrows in question. 

“Nothing,” Merlin said as he smiled, reaching out to touch Arthur’s face. “Just, you cursed. Twice today.”

Arthur smiled, amused. “I _am_ an adult, Merlin.”

“Yeah,” Merlin said with a shrug. “Just…I never heard you curse before.”

Arthur gave him a funny look. “I’m not a perfect doll, you know.”

Merlin smiled. “I know,” Merlin said as he thumbed Arthur’s bottom lip. Arthur licked his lips and gently bit Merlin’s thumb. Merlin pulled his thumb away and knocked Arthur’s temple gently. “Bad dog, stay down.”

Arthur barked out laughing before he let his body cover Merlin’s again. “I’m not a dog,” Arthur said. 

“You certainly bite as one,” Merlin teased as he wiggled his thumb. “And as possessive as one.” Merlin pointed to his neck. 

Arthur considered this before he smiled, looking handsomer than a minute ago. “It is a nice mark, eh?” Arthur said. Merlin huffed, more amused than annoyed. 

“I’m not a thing, you know,” Merlin said, a jab of humour but Arthur had grown serious again. He looked at Merlin for a second before he nodded. 

“I know,” he said. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just like the idea that I’m the only one who can love you in every way.”

Merlin warmed at that. “And you are,” Merlin said. “And it’s reciprocated.” It didn’t come out as a question but there was a sense of vulnerability in there that Arthur picked up. 

“It is,” Arthur assured. Then, he grinned. “You’re like a kitten if I’m a dog. Always needing patting and cuddles and assurance—”

Merlin shut him up by dragging him down to kiss him again. It wasn’t as deep and passionate as before, merely a chaste kiss to stun Arthur quiet. Then, the King sighed, tutting as he poked Merlin’s nose. Merlin scrunched his nose and rubbed at the spot, glaring at the King with a pout. 

“Don’t rile me up even more than I already am,” Arthur said, a devilish smile on his face, making him look more feral than human. Merlin stared at the King, his face reddened and his heart picking up speed, feeling tingles in his body. He squirmed a bit under the heavy lusted look and realised with a start that Arthur was still hard. 

“What the,” Merlin said, astonished as he looked at Arthur. 

“Told you,” Arthur whispered, his voice low and sensual as he leaned down to caress Merlin’s ear with his breath. “You’re the only one. Even now, lying underneath like me, so pliant, turns me on.”

“A—Arthur,” Merlin breathed out. 

“When the time comes when I can finally love you properly,” Arthur said as he looked at Merlin, his eyes sincere, even if they were lidded with lust, there was a huge amount of love in there. “I’m going to make it hard for you to breathe let alone think.”

Merlin bit his bottom lip, resisting the urge to turn on his front and hide his face in the sheets. “You…,” Merlin began before gulping. Then, he looked away, closing his eyes shut, dropping his hands from Arthur to land on the bedsheets and curling his fingers on them. “You already make me breathless.”

“Yeah?” Arthur asked and when Merlin glanced at him, he almost knocked Arthur off the bed with a kick at how much the blond was preening. 

“Don’t act like you can’t see what you do to me,” Merlin bit out, embarrassed and flustered. Arthur chuckled and touched Merlin’s chin, nudging him to look at the King. 

“Oh, I can,” Arthur said. Then, he leaned in closer before whispering, “And it’s going to be ten times more intense when I get my hands on you completely.”

“You sound like some kind of predator,” Merlin couldn’t help but to point out even if he was feeling breathless again, staring at Arthur’s lips, feeling the urge to kiss him once more. Arthur grinned, almost like the predator that Merlin accused him of.

“And you’re my pretty prey, kitten,” Arthur said, his voice laced with promise that sent shivers down Merlin’s spine and closed his eyes tight when Arthur kissed him. He didn’t even want to argue about the nickname, instead, he let himself be swept under the waves of love and lust, just kissing Arthur back and concentrated on being with him. 

They snogged like a bunch of teenagers for a long time before they had to pull away; before it escalated into something that they both weren’t properly ready for. For all Arthur’s talk, he promised Merlin he wouldn’t do anything else unless Merlin explicitly told him so. Merlin had smiled at him and pushed Arthur off him, adjusting his pyjama bottoms, trying to calm himself down by thinking of anything and everything unappealing. 

When they both calmed down, they felt tiredness washing over them and Merlin once again found himself underneath the covers with Arthur, curling up on his chest while Arthur ran his fingers through the locks, kissing his hair. 

“Love you,” Merlin mumbled, at the verge of falling asleep and Arthur held him tighter in response. Merlin smiled at that, feeling secure and safe, letting his eyes fall close. Before he knew it, he drifted off to the sensation of Arthur’s chest, rising and falling slowly and to the hand in his hair. 

 

***

 

Andrew still remained in Merlin’s mind the next day. But he couldn’t bring it up to Arthur just yet. Truthfully, he wasn’t sure how to bring it up in the first place. He knew Arthur liked Andrew as well, especially when he told Merlin he had wanted to keep seeing the boy. So, at least, Merlin knew that Arthur had some fondness for the boy. 

He didn’t know what about Andrew that pulled Merlin’s attention to him, but the boy stood out from the many children there. Whatever the reason was, Andrew was always in his thoughts as he began his day. He hummed under his breath, trying to find a way to bring that subject up to Arthur. 

Sighing, he walked down the hallway, making sure he never went to any hallway that was lonely or lacked human activity. Especially after what happened in that room. Which brought another dilemma to Merlin, this Morgana woman who was most likely Arthur’s sister. 

What was he to do with her? 

He knew he needed to find more information on her, but he couldn’t figure out how, especially when he knew it will cross Arthur. He ran his fingers through his hair, frowning. He stopped in the middle of the hallway when his magic bubbled at the tip of his fingertips. 

Merlin immediately looked around, guards up. He recognised this feeling. It appeared whenever something Morgana-related happened. He took a step back when his magic felt threatened and that was when he felt it—this _ominousness_ in the air. 

When Merlin looked ahead, he realised that something was wrong. The hallway was bright, with light from the sun streaming through the large windows, no shadows to darken any corners of the place. But with a closer look, Merlin could almost taste the stillness. 

Like he was trapped in some kind of enchantment. 

A powerful one. 

“Who is this?” Merlin asked, his breath steady as he pulled out a spell ready at the tip of his tongue. 

He felt a breeze, so cold it made him shiver, answer him. And then, he heard a voice. 

A soft breathy voice—a woman’s voice—the same voice he heard in his nightmare that day, caressing his ears. 

‘ _You know who this is, Emrys._ ’

Merlin, startled, turned around, staring at the direction where the wind came from. There was golden sparks at his fingertips, his magic bubbling up a lot from the nervousness and anxiety. He felt the darkness in the air increase tenfold when the breeze picked up, blowing at his face with a temperature so cold that he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand. 

“Morgana,” Merlin breathed out and gasped when he heard a very evil laugh causing him to almost lose control of his magic. 

‘ _I will have my revenge, Emrys. And if you must die for me to get what’s rightfully mine, then so be it. Don’t let it said I didn’t warn you_.’

Merlin legitimately felt a swipe of something grazing the back of his neck and he turned around, his eyes flashed golden, ready to speak of the spell, his hands raised in the air in defence when he heard a gasp, breaking his trance. 

When Merlin blinked, he realised his magic was swirling around him with fury and in front of him was a maid, looking at him with wide eyes, fear in her eyes. Merlin took a step backwards, looking around him, confused. The stillness in the air had disappeared and there was no more sense of dread. 

In fact, it was like nothing ever happened. 

Merlin blinked, confused and more than a bit fearful, he reeled his magic in, helping the maid to pick up the clothes she had been carrying off the floor, apologising. The maid had spluttered at his apology and shook it off, told him it was fine before she scurried away like she was on fire. 

He bit his bottom lip, looking around the hallway one last time before he walked away from there, angry at himself for losing control. He almost harmed the maid and then what would happen if rumours started about him? 

He groaned under his breath, rubbing a hand down his face. Morgana was beginning to get threatening. She came to the castle. She was there even if it was through some kind of spell. His magic wouldn’t have reacted if she wasn’t there. 

This was upsetting. He must find out more about Morgana and what she was before he could tell Arthur about it. If Merlin guessed it right, Morgana seemed to be getting impatient.

 

***

 

Merlin found Arthur in a council meeting. Merlin wasn’t allowed to go inside and he frowned, looking at the person guarding the council room. The guard only shrugged, looking sorry at Merlin. 

“They wanted to speak to the King alone,” the guard explained, looking nervous. Merlin sighed and nodded before he decided to wait for his husband by leaning next to the guard. 

“I’ll just wait here then,” Merlin explained. The guard didn’t say anything but gave him a nod, going back to guarding the door. It didn’t take long before the door slammed open with such force that it jolted Merlin and the guard in surprise. 

Then, he saw Arthur storming out of the room, his strides filled with anger and his shoulders tensed. Merlin was stunned, standing there, wondering what happened. He frowned and glanced at the open door. Just as he was about to chase after Arthur, he overheard the council members speaking. 

“I don’t know what’s so wrong about the idea,” one of the council members said. “It’s not like the prince could help in this matter.”

Merlin frowned. They were talking about him? Merlin decided to lean against the wall, listening in while the guard took his leave. The council members were still inside the room, not making a move to leave. 

“The King is already twenty-five,” another council member piped up. “He needs to start thinking about the future.”

Merlin thinned his lips, feeling his heart beating loudly against his chest, wondering what these old farts were talking about. What could have sent Arthur storming off like that? 

“Indeed,” another said. “And the Prince is not a woman anyway.”

“He needs an heir. He needs to think about who’s going to replace him. We cannot postpone this. Not when everything seemed to be at peace,” one of the previous members said. 

“You lots should have thought about it before suggesting him to marry the sorcerer,” a rude council member said. “I was against this idea right from the start, but _no_ , all of you wanted an open mind and all that. Look at where all this ‘ _open-mindedness_ ’ landed us in. A male cannot bear an heir. He _needs_ an heir.”

Merlin flinched when the words registered into his mind. His heart sunk to the bottom of his chest as his face became flushed. 

“I don’t understand why he cannot take a lover,” they said. “A woman.”

Merlin paled at that thought. He clenched his fingers tight, his magic bubbled in his body as anger started to rush through his veins. 

“Don’t tell me,” the rude one said with mock surprise in his voice. “That he _fell_ for the sorcerer. Maybe he got enchanted?”

“ _Fredrik_!” one of them exclaimed, scandalised. “Do not speak of our Prince like that!”

“Oh, _shut up_ , Cecil,” Fredrick sneered. “You’re the reason this is all at fault! You’re the one who suggested the King to marry the sorcerer and now he won’t listen to us when we tell him he needs an heir. He can even take the woman he was seen with yesterday as his lover.”

They were talking about Gwen. 

“Enough,” one of them said, warily. “ _Enough_. We’ll discuss this more at length with the King when he cools off. Maybe we can talk some sense into the man then.” 

Merlin felt sick to his stomach. His blood had run cold and he couldn’t believe what was happening. Just when he thought he had the threat of Morgana looming over his head was more than enough for him to deal, here came another problem. The problem of an heir. 

Merlin wasn’t an idiot. He knew that one day, there would be questions raised about an heir and Merlin was hoping they wouldn’t suggest anything to do with giving Arthur away to someone else. But here they were, doing, suggesting just that. 

It made him angry. 

He knew Arthur wouldn’t bend to their wills, not when he had promised him with all of his heart that Merlin was his only one. Arthur wasn’t the type of person to break the promises. 

_But what if it came to his duty?_ A voice nagged in the back of his mind. _He’s a King. His duty precedes everything else, including his feelings for you._

Merlin shook his head from the thoughts, refusing to let doubts cloud his mind. He left the council members to debate among themselves, his heart racing against his chest as he went to search for Arthur. He worried his bottom lip as he walked around, unsure of where the King might have gone. 

Until Merlin came across the training field and there he was, swinging his sword around with Lancelot, in the middle of the training arena. Merlin jogged down the stairs and walked towards them, ignoring the looks given by the other knights, some confused meanwhile the rest glanced at him and went back to what they were doing. 

Arthur was taking everything out on Lancelot and the knight gave him back as good as he got. For a second, Merlin worried that they were really fighting and wondered if he should step in, until his eyes caught on Gwaine, who was looking at him and giving him an assuring smile. 

Merlin walked to where Gwaine was, looking at Arthur and Lancelot. 

“They’re really going at it,” Merlin said. Gwaine nodded from next to him. 

“Arthur came storming in while we were training,” Gwaine said with a frown on his face. “Lancelot decided it was his turn to take some of the brunt.”

Merlin blinked at that. 

“He does this often?” Merlin asked. 

“Storming in angry and frustrated and then training his arse off until he’s bleeding and bruised?” Gwaine said, a smile covered his face before it dimmed and disappeared, something akin to worry crawled into the brown eyes. “Yeah, the princess does this quite a lot. More frequently when the old man was ruling.”

It wasn’t healthy the way Arthur dealt with his anger but then again, Merlin knew that if he was in Arthur’s shoes, he would probably do the same thing. Merlin crossed his arms against his chest as the worry gnawed in his chest. 

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Gwaine said. “Do you know what happened?”

Merlin glanced at him before he looked away, staring at the ground as his cheeks reddened in anger and embarrassment. “Arthur didn’t tell you?” Merlin asked. 

“He usually will,” Gwaine said. “But this level of aggression is— _terrifying_. Something really horrible must have happened for him to become this mad. It’s been a while since he became like this.”

Merlin looked at Arthur. There was a question in his eyes when he dragged his gaze back at Gwaine. The knight sighed. 

“The last time he became like this was when Gwen was exiled,” Gwaine said, lips thinning. Merlin’s breath hitched in his throat at that. “So, what happened?”

Merlin looked at Arthur, furrowing his eyebrows. He didn't know why he felt embarrassed. Was it because he couldn’t give Arthur what he clearly needed? Was that it? But that was stupid. 

He couldn’t change his gender any better than anyone could. 

And yet, Merlin learned, that love didn’t see all of that. It just ached for the person he loved and if he couldn’t keep him happy, he felt horrible. He sighed. 

“I overheard the council members,” Merlin said, his voice low. “They were talking about an heir.”

Gwaine tensed from next to him. Merlin didn’t have to tell him anything else but he knew that Gwaine understood. “ _Oh hell_ ,” Gwaine breathed out. “That’s definitely bad.”

“I,” Merlin began but stopped when Gwaine placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“It’s not your fault,” Gwaine said as he looked at Merlin. “You do know that, right?”

“Yes, yes, I do,” Merlin said. “I don’t blame myself for it. I might be a bit upset but…I’m not—I know it isn’t my fault.”

Gwaine nodded. Merlin looked back at Arthur, who was slowing down before he had Lancelot cornered. When Lancelot yielded, Arthur stood back, panting harshly as he tossed the sword to the ground, crouching to ground for a minute to help Lancelot on his feet. Lancelot patted Arthur on the shoulder with a smile and Arthur smiled back, even if it looked strained at the edges. 

Merlin fidgeted where he stood as he waited Arthur to look at him, and when he did, he gave Arthur a small nervous wave. Arthur looked at Merlin and nodded, picking his sword up before he gave it to Lancelot, who went to keep the swords before Arthur walked to where Gwaine and Merlin were waiting for him. 

“So, got it out of your system?” Gwaine said, grinning. Arthur looked at him before huffing, amused. 

“A bit,” Arthur said before he looked over his shoulders at where Lancelot was, guilt on his face. “I think I might have pushed a bit too far.”

Gwaine slapped his back. “He’s a tough lad, princess,” Gwaine said before he looked at Arthur seriously. Then, he looked at Merlin, who was looking at his feet. 

“I’m going to help him out,” Gwaine said before he smiled at Arthur. Then, he walked away. 

Merlin looked at Arthur, taking in a deep breath. Arthur looked at Gwaine walking away for a minute before he looked at Merlin. His face was blank of emotions and Merlin hated that. 

“Sorry,” Arthur said. “For seeing that.”

“Seeing what?” Merlin said as he smiled. “You working out?”

Arthur raised his eyebrows. “Does that turn you on?” he asked as he leaned close, a smirk on his face, the blank look disappearing. 

Merlin bit his bottom lip, his cheeks flushed. He shrugged, smiling a bit. “I don’t know,” Merlin said, trying to keep his voice light. “You’ll just have to find that out on your own.”

Arthur looked a bit taken aback and Merlin wondered if he went too far with his jokes. He knew he couldn’t seduce anything even if his life depended on it and mostly because he never had— _seduced_ anyone before. Arthur though looked at him, curiously. 

“Is that a proposition?” Arthur asked, a bit amused. “Because if it is.” Then, Arthur took a step towards him and placed his hands on Merlin’s hips, dragging him close. Merlin’s face dyed red, eyes wide. It totally backfired at him. He placed his hands on Arthur’s arms and dragged them up to his shoulders, his heart loud in his ears. 

Merlin knew he wasn’t ready but he was too shy to actually say it out loud. But Arthur understood anyway as he grinned, laughing. “I know, I know, I was just joking,” Arthur said. “Who knew you could be flirty.”

“I don’t,” Merlin said. “I mean, I can’t be flirty. I never…”

Arthur hummed under his breath, his cheeks rosy from the training. “I like the idea of me being all your firsts.”

Merlin cracked a smile at that. “Me too,” he said and then his smile dimmed. “I heard the council members talking.”

Arthur froze before he sighed, his grip on Merlin’s waist loosened until he took a step back from him. “ _Goddamnit_ ,” he cursed. Merlin looked at him, a weak smile on his face. 

“Did you…,” Arthur said, waving his hands about, looking pained. 

“I heard,” Merlin said, taking in a deep breath. “About them asking you to take a side lover. A woman.”

Arthur winced. “I won’t do it,” Arthur said as he stared at Merlin. “I don’t _fucking_ care.”

“I know,” Merlin said. He knew that. He knew Arthur wouldn’t. “But…they’re adamant.”

“Let them,” Arthur said as he snorted. “Once in a while, they think they rule the kingdom instead of me. And once in a while, they need to learn that it’s _none_ of their goddamn business who I sleep with.”

Merlin flinched at the harsh words. “They think I enchanted you,” Merlin said. Arthur frowned. 

“ _What_?” Arthur said, his voice a pitch higher. 

Merlin looked away and shrugged. “I told you,” Merlin said, almost hollow in his words. “Nobody actually thinks much of this marriage.”

Arthur gripped his elbows and pulled him close again. Merlin looked at him and smiled, weak, sad. “Merlin,” Arthur breathed out. “And I promised you that if anyone doubted our marriage, I’ll make them listen. And I will.”

“I…What about the heir though?” Merlin asked, almost afraid. 

Arthur remained quiet for a while. “I won’t take a side lover. Not even if they suggested Gwen. She deserves better and you deserve more. And since we can’t have a child of our own, we’ll just adopt. I’ll name a child we adopt as the next heir.”

Merlin immediately thought of Andrew. He chewed his bottom lip until Arthur pulled his bottom lip from his teeth. Arthur sighed as he pulled away, this time, he grabbed one of Merlin’s hands and intertwined their fingers together. He then tugged Merlin and they began walking away from the training grounds. 

“What’s on your mind?” Arthur asked. Merlin realised they were walking to their room. 

“About…about the other thing you said we’ll talk about when we’re alone,” Merlin started, nervousness bubbling at the pit of his stomach. 

Arthur though, didn’t even flinch or freeze, instead, he said, “Andrew.”

“Yeah,” Merlin said, holding his breath. “I…I want to talk about him.”

Arthur didn’t say anything for a while until they reached their bedroom. Then, Arthur let him go and walked inside, Merlin following him, closing the door shut as he leaned against it. Arthur had gone and stripped off his shirt, startling Merlin. 

He couldn't help but to stare at Arthur’s strong chest and back, muscles flexing as the King moved to his cupboard to grab some fresh clothes. 

“I like Andrew,” Arthur said, jolting Merlin out from his staring. Merlin blushed, looking away, knowing he would be caught if Arthur turned around. 

“I like Andrew too,” Merlin said. 

Arthur sighed. “I think it’s too early,” Arthur said, his voice slow. Merlin frowned. 

“I know,” Merlin said. “I mean, I know that we’ve just married and all but…I…” 

Merlin didn’t know how to tell Arthur that he couldn’t see himself not raising a child, specifically Andrew, with him. But Arthur knew what he was saying. 

“I know,” Arthur said. “I want to raise a kid with you too. But…you’re twenty, Merlin. You’re just _twenty_.”

Merlin furrowed his eyebrows, looking at Arthur, who was still shirtless, leaning against the cupboard. 

“So, this is about how young I am again, huh?” Merlin said, a bit bitter than usual. Arthur shook his head. 

“Merlin, a kid is a lot of responsibility,” Arthur reasoned. “I do want to raise a child with you but you have to understand where I’m coming from. You’re not even twenty-one yet. I can’t put that burden on you.”

Merlin resisted the urge to grow defensive because he knew that Arthur was right. If he had relied this to his mother, she would definitely disagree and tell him the same thing Arthur was telling. He knew he was too young. Merlin ran his fingers through his hair, feeling his heart sinking to the bottom at the thought of notgetting to see Andrew. 

Arthur walked up to him, gently cradling his face until Merlin looked at him. 

“We’ll go and visit Andrew,” Arthur said with a smile. “We’ll—we’ll visit him often, get to know the boy before we make any decisions, alright?”

Merlin placed his hands on Arthur’s, squeezing his fingers. “Alright,” Merlin conceded, nodding. “But we must go visit him. I—I want to see him. I know he’s the one. He’s the one, Arthur.”

Arthur smiled wider, his eyes softened. “I know,” he said as he leaned and kissed Merlin’s forehead. “I felt it too.”

Merlin smiled at that before he pushed Arthur away. The King rolled his eyes knowingly as he walked back the fresh clothes hanging off the handle of the cupboard and grabbed them. 

“I’m going to shower and when I come out—do you want to get out of here for a while?” Arthur asked. Merlin blinked at him before he shrugged. 

“Sure,” he said. “But to where?”

“To the forest,” Arthur said, his eyes twinkling. “There’s this place my friends and I used to go whenever we want to hunt.”

Merlin scrunched his nose. “Hunting?” he asked. Arthur grinned. 

“We’ll have a picnic instead,” Arthur said. “A date?”

Merlin felt his face flush, a giddy feeling crawling into his chest. “A…date?” he asked. Arthur nodded. “Uh, alright,” 

Arthur nodded before he went to the loo to take a shower. Merlin clasped a hand over his mouth, hiding the huge grin on his face. He decided he would go to the kitchens and get them their food since the last time they went on a picnic, Arthur had prepared the food. 

He went to the bathroom door and knocked. “Arthur, I’m going to the kitchens to get the food.”

He heard a muffled ‘Alright!’ answering him. With that, Merlin left the room and walked to the kitchens.

 

***

 

Merlin didn’t know what to bring for a picnic, so at the end, the chef in charge had smiled at him, amused, before packing them lunch which consisted of some sandwiches with fruit cups and yoghourt. Arthur found him at the kitchens, wearing his blue denim jeans with a light grey shirt and over it was a dark blue hoodie. He was even wearing sneakers. 

He looked completely different from the usual way he dressed which usually consisted of button-up shirts and ties with black slacks. Merlin’s heart skipped a beat, feeling the flush crawling on his face. Arthur hadn’t noticed his fluster and instead, thanked the chef before he walked Merlin to the back of the castle. 

There was a small path leading into the forest. 

“We’re going to use a horse?” Merlin asked but Arthur only shook his head. 

“Can you even ride a horse?” Arthur asked. Merlin scowled but shook his head in defeat. Arthur chuckled. “With the basket in our hands,” Arthur said, pointing the basket in Merlin’s hands. “I think it’s safer to walk.”

Merlin smiled before he nodded. “Fine, lead the way,” Merlin said. “Don’t you want to bring something with you?”

Arthur glanced at him, raising his eyebrows. “No, the forest is quite safe,” Arthur said. “Besides, this part of forest is in Camelot’s territory.” When he noticed that Merlin still looked worried, he swung an arm across Merlin’s shoulder, kissing his temple and tugging him close. “I’ll be fine. And besides, I have you.”

Merlin relaxed a bit. “My magic can only protect us so far,” Merlin grumbled but he didn’t say it with venom. Arthur chuckled. 

“But I trust you,” Arthur said. “You’ll keep us safe.”

Merlin smiled at that. “Prat, stop being so smooth.”

Arthur laughed, bright. “Not when it makes you look so pretty in red,” Arthur mused. Merlin resisted the urge to slap the back of Arthur’s head, instead, sighed insufferably, earning another laugh from Arthur. Merlin’s lips twitched upwards as well.

 

***

 

Arthur brought him to a stream. It was quite a large stream and it made the area around it even more beautiful. There was a large empty patch of grass, trees surrounding the circle patch and in front of them was the river stream. The water was clear and Merlin realised he could see some fishes swimming in it. 

The sun was shining and it made the entire place sparkle. Merlin was in awe with its beauty.

“Arthur,” Merlin breathed out. “This place is beautiful.”

Arthur smiled as he grabbed the basket out of Merlin’s hand before he placed the picnic blanket at a spot next to a shady tree but still enough light to brighten the area they were going to sit. 

“It is,” Arthur agreed as he took out the food from the basket and arranged them on the picnic blanket. Merlin trudged to where he was before he sat down, taking the sandwich from Arthur. He munched on it as he looked around, still very occupied with the scenery. 

“Thank you,” Merlin said, looking back at Arthur. Arthur’s cheeks flushed a bit, a grin on his face. 

“You’re welcome,” Arthur said. 

They were silent as they ate, allowing nature to make the noise for them. After they ate, they just sat down, Merlin taking everything in. 

“And you hunt here?” Merlin said, glancing at the King who only chuckled in response. 

“Yeah,” Arthur said with no remorse, shrugging. Merlin frowned at him. He scooted closer to Arthur, poking a finger at Arthur’s chest. Arthur raised his eyebrows, amused, as he looked at Merlin and then at the finger poking at him. 

“You should be ashamed of yourself!” Merlin said. Arthur blinked at that. “How dare you hunt animals in this beautiful place!”

Arthur couldn’t help but to chuckle again. He grasped Merlin’s finger which was busy poking his chest and dragged the prince closer to him. He locked eyes with the icy blue ones, dragging the fingers to his lips and kissing the fingertips. Merlin blushed as he pulled his hand away, tutting. 

“Don’t,” Merlin warned, playfully. “That will not make you escape the fact that you have to feel remorseful!”

“Uh huh,” Arthur said, playing along. “And where’s the fun if I did that?”

Merlin gasped. “ _Arthur_ ,” he said, as scandalised as he could. “This place will not be tainted by your— _brutishness_.”

Arthur’s eyebrows flung upwards, higher than before. “ _Brutishness_ …,” he said, slowly. Merlin nodded, looking faux serious. 

“Yes,” Merlin said. He squealed then, a high pitched sound escaped his lips when Arthur pulled him to his lap. Straddling the King, Merlin balanced himself by clutching on Arthur’s shoulders, his face dyed red. He stared wide-eyed at Arthur, blinking. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Arthur said, sounding innocent even though there was a cheeky smirk on his face. “Just embracing my brutishness.”

Merlin blinked a few more times at him before he snorted, rolling his eyes. “Arthur, you heathen,” Merlin murmured, earning a gentle one-finger swat on his nose by Arthur. He touched his nose and frowned at the King. Arthur grinned pulling the hand away from his nose before pecking on it. 

“Kitten,” Arthur poked fun at him. Merlin flushed at the nickname, scooting closer to Arthur before he placed his chin on Arthur’s shoulder. 

“Dog,” Merlin poked back. “Or maybe a puppy. Hey, maybe I’ll just call you a brute.”

He whined when Arthur pinched his ear. “Cheeky,” Arthur murmured, amused than anything as he rubbed the place he pinched. Merlin hummed, relaxed in Arthur’s embrace. Arthur then dragged the pad of his thumb down his neck until Merlin realised he was touching the place where he sucked a bruise. A hickey. Merlin squirmed a bit, his face coloured once more. “Still a very pretty bruise.”

Merlin slapped his shoulder. “Such a brute,” Merlin sighed. Arthur only chuckled. 

Arthur then said after a second of silence, “The stream is really nice to swim in, you know.”

Merlin pulled away to look at Arthur, raising his eyebrows this time. “ _Right_ ,” he drawled, noting the gleam in Arthur’s eyes. He narrowed his blue eyes at the King, brushing the blond hair from his forehead. “And it has got nothing to do with the fact you want to see me in my pants?”

“Well,” Arthur said as he squeezed Merlin’s hips. “I won’t lie to you, I _am_ curious.”

“You’re a perverted old man, aren’t you?” Merlin said, laughing as he got up from Arthur’s lap and started to take a few steps back when Arthur tried to pinch him again. Arthur stood up as well, a challenge in his eyes that Merlin gladly took on. 

“You want to run that by me again, Merlin?” Arthur said, taking a step forward, looking ready to pounce. Merlin scoffed, not intimidated at all. 

“Run by what?” Merlin asked. “Oh, you mean the part where I said you’re a perverted old man? I think that’ll be your nickname from now on. _Old man_.”

Immediately, Arthur launched at him, to which Merlin avoided, running around the place while Arthur chased after him. 

“You’ll regret that, Merlin!” Arthur yelled, laughter mixing in his words. Merlin laughed as well, running away every time Arthur missed catching him. 

“If only you could catch me— _Arthur_!” Merlin exclaimed when Arthur finally caught him by his waist, arms wrapping around his hip, pulling Merlin’s back to his chest, squeezing him tight in his embrace. Merlin tried to wriggle out but at the end he gave up when Arthur was unmovable. “Alright, alright, you win!”

Arthur turned Merlin around before pecking on his lips and hugging him tight. Merlin’s breath left his lungs as he was squeezed. “Hey, I can’t breathe!” Merlin said but allowed himself to be hugged. Arthur simply shushed him. “Did you just— _shush_ me?”

“Be quiet,” Arthur murmured. “This is your punishment. Take it.”

“A hug…as a punishment?” Merlin said, almost dryly, even if he knew he failed to hide the warmth. Arthur nodded. 

“Yes,” Arthur said. “A punishment hug.”

Merlin pretended to huff in annoyance but secretly, he enjoyed the hug as he hugged Arthur back, just as tightly. They stayed like that, hugging for as long as possible, like they were holding onto this moment. “I love you,” Merlin murmured. He could feel Arthur smiling against the crook of his neck. 

“I know,” Arthur said. Merlin was content with that. 

Just as he was relaxing for good in his embrace, he spotted something in front of him that sent his blood running cold. It was there just for a second but Merlin knew there was no mistaking what he saw. 

Ahead of him, Merlin saw a pair of green eyes that belonged to a woman with dark hair. She was staring right at him with a sneer on her face, a blood red cloak covering her. And he didn’t have to wonder who it was he saw before she disappeared like she was never there. 

He hugged Arthur a bit tighter, feeling worry bleeding in his chest. 

Merlin now knew he had to find more clues about her and her powers as quickly as possible. 

Morgana was warning him that she was near. 

With her piercing green eyes filled with contempt—Merlin knew she wasn’t bluffing. 

His good mood was ruined after that.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!
> 
> A/N: HIIIIIII. SO. YES. HERE IT IS. A 13K CHAPTER FOR MAKING YOU GUYS WAIT. I won't say much so, thank you to those who have read, commented, bookmarked, subscribed and gave this story a kudos! Also, there's some latin in here that I--frankly--butchered my way with. So, if it's wrong or it makes no sense, let me know. And...I'll blame Google for it. Heh. Let me know what you guys think and until next chapter~! -Krystal
> 
>  _Tiānkōng shì lán sè de wǒ xīnqíng shì cǎisè de_ \- I DO (Wengie)

 

Merlin wasn’t sure what to do, if he was being honest. He was at the library, reading back Morgana’s journal. But no matter how many times he read the journal, he couldn’t find any clues as to why she went from someone sweet and kind to this—wicked and vengeful person. 

Merlin tossed the journal on the table, leaning against the desk and rubbing his face. He folded his hands on his stomach, staring right ahead at nothing. It still shook him when he recalled of seeing Morgana at the forest. She was so close and Arthur was just right there. 

If she willed it, she had the perfect shot at Arthur’s back to seriously damage him. Merlin frowned. 

Then, why didn’t she take it? 

Why did she appear like a warning when she had the chance? Merlin wouldn’t be able to react just in time, as well. 

But she held back. 

Maybe, she wasn’t as strong as he thought. Maybe, she needed time. Time to brew her powers, to make her strong enough. And that was an even more frightening scenario. Merlin sighed, licking his bottom lip. 

It had been a week since Merlin saw her at the forest. He had half a mind to go back out there, just to search the place he had last seen her and yet, he couldn’t risk anyone finding out. Arthur couldn’t find out about this, not yet, not until Merlin had all the evidence that Morgana was about to attack Camelot. 

Merlin stood up, walking to the aisle where magical artefacts and books were. He wondered if he should contact Gaius. Besides his father, Gaius was pretty well read in everything magic. He had to be if he was the Court Sorcerer and Physician back in Ealdor. 

But then he wasn’t sure if Gaius would keep this a secret or not. He didn’t want his Mum to come and make a scene before anything was confirmed. If she even had an inkling that something wasn’t right, she would intervene and that would put her directly in line of fire. 

It would jeopardise everything. 

“What am I going to do?” Merlin whispered. How could he keep Arthur safe for now? 

Merlin chewed his bottom lip, trapping it between his teeth as he scanned the shelves until a title caught his attention. Picking the book from the shelf, he froze when he realised what the book was about. 

It was about magic bonds. 

Right. 

Merlin had almost forgotten about this. Merlin frowned as he flipped open the book, flipping page by page, unsure of what he was looking for but his mind was already forming some kind of plan. It sent his stomach turning and his blood ran cold when he stopped at a page. 

That was right. 

A magic bond that was strong enough to link two magical cores could help keep Arthur safe. And Merlin knew that his magic was getting more and more frustrated the longer he kept Arthur away from this truth, especially knowing from the moment Merlin let Arthur touch him that they were compatible. 

Something about Arthur, something about him had his magic reacting favourably. Like Arthur had a magic core himself even if Merlin thought that sounded ridiculous. 

His magic was never wrong, though. 

Merlin hummed as he closed the book shut. 

Maybe there was more to his husband than he thought, after all. Maybe this would help solve one problem, which was keeping Arthur safe. The only problem was talking to Arthur about it. 

And then surely, he had to at the end tell Arthur why. 

Unless, Merlin guessed, if he opted that out. If he told Arthur about the bond and opted the fact that it was for his own protection as well, it could work. Merlin knew he was lying to his husband. He didn’t want to. But he couldn’t find another way. 

Merlin sighed. 

He would do it. He would talk to Arthur about this bond. 

 

***

 

He was scared, if he was being honest. He didn’t know how Arthur would take to the news that people like him bonded not just through marriage but also through connecting their magic cores together. There were different types of bonds, different variations to it. 

He hoped Arthur would take it all in stride and at least consider it. 

Merlin chewed his bottom lip, wincing when he tasted blood. He let go of his lip and rubbed a thumb over it, grimacing when he saw crimson red liquid painting his skin. Merlin shook his head and continued to walk to the kitchens. 

If he wanted to ask Arthur something, something monumental, maybe he could ask him while he was relaxed. Arthur had been tensed these past few days. He never lashed out or took his frustrations out on Merlin though but he also refused to indulge the prince on why he was so mad. 

It rattled Merlin’s chains, of course. But at the same time, he didn’t pry, knowing that Arthur trusted him and in return, he would trust his husband to tell him what ailed him when the time was right. 

“Oh, my Prince!” one of the kitchen staff said, surprised. Merlin smiled at her before he walked further into the kitchen. “What can I do for you today?”

“Ah, I want to bake,” Merlin said, looking at her and then at the bag of flour she was holding. The kitchen girl looked even more surprised. 

“Is there an occasion happening that we should have been informed of?” she asked, nervousness bled in her words. Merlin immediately shook his head, giving her a sheepish smile for unnecessarily making her panic. 

“No, no,” Merlin said. “I just wanted to bake something—for Arthur.”

The girl’s eyes sparkled in mirth and fondness before she nodded. She placed the bag of flour on the kitchen island. “Very well, Sire,” she said as she clapped her powdered hands, sending small puffs of flour to sprinkle all over. Merlin cracked a grin at that. 

“What’s your name?” Merlin asked. 

“Matilda, Sire,” she said. 

“Merlin,” the prince corrected her. “I don’t like being called by my title.”

Matilda tilted her head to the side a bit before she nodded, giving in easily at the chance to call the prince by his name. Merlin took in a deep breath. 

“So, I was thinking of baking Arthur’s favourite pastry,” Merlin said. And then, his cheeks reddened when he realised he had no idea what Arthur’s favourite pastry was. “I’m…just not sure what it is.”

Matilda, thankfully, didn’t judge him for that. “I understand,” Matilda said. “You both have plenty of time to get to know each other very well!” 

Her assuring sent a small wave of happiness in his chest.

“Right,” Merlin agreed with her. “So, I don’t suppose you know what his favourite pastry is?”

Matilda giggled, earning a soft smile from Merlin. “Actually, we do! It’s actually a simple pie.”

Merlin blinked. “A pie? What type of pie?”

“An apple pie,” Matilda said before she lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “We pick apples from our small apple orchard to make the pie.”

“Ah,” Merlin said, musing how simple of a man Arthur was. He liked apple pie. The King of Camelot, the ruler of biggest land of all Five Lands—liked apple pies. It made Merlin melt inside. “Alright, I think I can bake an apple pie.”

“Do you want some help?” Matilda asked. “It might sound simple but you know what they say. The simplest recipes are the hardest to make.”

Merlin looked amused. “They say that?”

“No,” Matilda admitted with a sheepish look on her face. “But I experienced it myself enough to know it’s true!”

Merlin laughed, earning a delighted look on Matilda’s face. “Very well. I never baked before, so let’s do this together.”

“Perfect!” Matilda said. “Let me show you the apple orchard then.”

 

***

 

Merlin carried a basket full of apples. The orchard, like Matilda said, was small. There weren’t more than ten apple trees planted but all of the trees bore lots of fruits. It was a magnificent sight to see, the green leaves mixed with red apples hanging off its branches. 

Matilda then began to rattle off the recipe once they reached the kitchen. Merlin placed the basket on the island counter and went to help her gather the ingredients. 

“Alright,” Matilda said with a clap of her hands, wiping her forehead with her wrist. “I think we’re done mixing the apple nicely with the sweet sauce.”

Merlin looked at the bowl filled with apples and sticky sugary brown sauce and nodded. “So, pour it in?” Merlin said. 

“No,” Matilda said. “We arrange the apples in a circle pattern and then slap on the remainder of sauce on it. Then we cover it with the remainder of the pastry and we’re done. All we need is to bake it.” A second later, she added, “Oh yes, we have to cover the top with butter and cut some traditional pie slits.”

Merlin nodded, concentrating on following her orders. He placed the apples neatly in a circle while Matilda rolled out the remainder of the pastry to cover the pie. 

Afterward the butter was brushed on the top of the pie and the tradition criss-cross shape a pie usually had engraved on it, Matilda put it into the over with her oven gloves and closed the door with a gentle kick of her leg. 

“How long do we wait?” Merlin asked. Matilda pointed at the timer at the oven. The neon-green lights blinked at him. “Oh,” Merlin said and then nodded. Merlin straightened himself and looked at Matilda in the eyes, giving her a grateful smile. “Thanks for helping me with this, Matilda.”

“No problem!” Matilda said. “Do you think you can take over on your own now? All you need to do is to take the pie out of the oven and let it cool. I assume you would like to serve the pie yourself?”

Merlin nodded, licking his lips as he recalled the reason he was doing this for Arthur. He felt nervousness trickling in his veins. He needed to practise how to ask Arthur this request. 

“Yeah, I would like that,” Merlin said, giving her another grateful smile. Matilda gave him a grin as a reply and nodded. 

“No problem,” she said. “I’ll let the head chef know. Uhm, so, if that’s all, S—Merlin.”

“Yes, that’s all,” Merlin said. “I’ll see you around?”

“Of course!” Matilda said and with a small bow at him for respect, she walked out of the kitchen leaving him alone with the pie baking in the oven. 

He looked away and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I hope this works,” he said with a sigh.

 

***

 

Dinner rolled around too quickly for Merlin’s liking. He had practised the words he wanted to say to Arthur in front of their bathroom mirror before he took a shower and cleaned himself up. He wanted to look—presentable. His cheeks flushed red at that thought. 

He had even requested the maids to tell Arthur that they were having their dinner in their room. Now, he sat at the chair in front of the big table their room had. 

A few minutes later, the door to their room opened and Arthur walked in, looking tired and slightly tensed. His hair was messed up like he had been running his fingers through his hair a lot. But he brightened when his eyes landed on Merlin. 

Merlin felt a smile tugging on his lips in return. He gave Arthur an awkward wave. Arthur raised his eyebrows, amused and intrigued as he closed the door, walking to the table. His blue eyes landed at food on the table before his eyes landed on the apple pie. 

“Well,” Arthur said before he dragged his eyes back on Merlin. “I see apple pie.”

Merlin’s cheeks flushed. He cleared his throat, looking away from Arthur to the table. “I asked Matilda what your favourite pastry was. And…I baked it for you.”

Arthur made a surprised noise as he took a sit in front of him. “You baked an apple pie for me?”

“Well, Matilda helped,” Merlin said with a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his neck. He glanced at Arthur, licking his dry lips. “This is my first time baking anything so—I hope it tastes okay.”

Arthur’s face softened, a fond look entered his eyes. “Love, I appreciate it,” Arthur said and then took a deep breath. “So, is there a reason why we’re eating in our rooms today?” Then his eyes froze on Merlin and the prince fidgeted on his seat when he realised that Arthur was assessing him. “You look really good too.”

“T—Thanks,” Merlin said. “U—uhm…there is something I want to talk about. I thought…the—uh—intimate setting would be…” Merlin didn’t continue his sentence, his entire face red. 

Arthur didn’t say anything for a while before he said, “Alright. Come on, let’s eat then. We’ll talk about whatever it is you want to talk about slowly.”

Merlin sighed in relief, giving Arthur a grateful look. Arthur smiled at him before they began eating their dinner. Arthur didn’t ask what it was that they needed to talk about, instead, he started the conversation about what he had done today and Merlin took the chance to prolong the issue at hand as long as he could. 

At last, when Arthur had finished his dinner and Merlin cut the pie for him, handing over a slice of apple pie, he knew that he had to speak to Arthur about this now.

“This apple pie is delicious, Merlin,” Arthur said, his eyes sparkling in satisfaction. Merlin grinned, happy that Arthur liked his first-attempt at baking a pie. 

“Like I said, Matilda helped,” Merlin said with a shrug. Arthur chuckled as he ate another forkful of the pie.

“I’ll thank her as well when I see her,” Arthur said. Merlin’s chest warmed at the fact Arthur seemed to know who Matilda was. 

“You know your maids and butlers by name, huh?” Merlin asked. 

Arthur nodded, a soft smile played on his lips. “I liked knowing them. They were there when I needed them. In ways my Father wasn’t.”

Merlin’s heart ached at that, not for the first time feeling a flare of hatred for Uther Pendragon. Merlin reached out and touched his free hand, squeezing his fingers. Arthur’s smile widened as he intertwined their fingers. 

“So,” Arthur said, clearing his throat and looking at the prince. “Is it okay if I ask you what is the thing you wanted to talk to me about?”

Merlin started to become nervous again, relaxing a little when Arthur squeezed their fingers in a comforting manner. “Well,” Merlin said. “It’s…something…uhm…it’s not actually uh—”

Arthur stopped eating his pie as his blue eyes stared at Merlin. “Do you want us to move to somewhere more comfortable?” Arthur asked. Merlin looked at him and then nodded. Arthur stood up, shoving the last piece of pie in his mouth before he tugged Merlin to stand up. 

Arthur sat at the edge of the bed but Merlin didn’t follow him. Instead, he stood in between Arthur’s legs and shifted his weight from one foot to the next. Arthur furrowed his eyebrows, a look of worry entering his eyes before he placed his hands on Merlin’s hip, caressing it with his fingers. 

“Everything is fine, right?” Arthur asked, his voice careful. Merlin immediately placed his hands on top of Arthur, giving him an assuring nod. 

“I’m fine, we’re fine,” Merlin said, watching how Arthur sighed in relief. “But it… _is_ about us.”

Arthur tensed again but he looked more confused than anything. “Okay,” Arthur said, slowly. “What…is it?”

Merlin wrung his fingers together and then said, “I want to bond.”

Merlin froze as the words left his mouth. That—wasn’t how he was supposed to start this conversation. Arthur looked at Merlin for a while before he shook his head. 

“What?” Arthur asked, even more confused. 

Merlin opened his mouth and then closed it, feeling really awkward. “This is awkward for me to say,” Merlin mumbled, loud enough for Arthur to hear. “It’s…it’s not explained a lot to someone who can’t wield magic. I…Okay, okay. This isn’t working.”

Arthur let Merlin step back, a concerned look entered his eyes. “Merlin,” Arthur began. Merlin shook his head. 

“Wait here. I need you to wait here. Don’t move, okay? I’ll be back.” With that said, Merlin tried to leave but Arthur grabbed his wrist and halted him, looking alarmed.

“Merlin, where are you going?” Arthur asked. 

“Stay,” Merlin said as he twisted his wrist from Arthur’s grasp. “I’m going to the library. I need to explain to you what I meant but I can’t—I can’t do it with my words alone. So, stay. Wait.” When Arthur still looked alarmed, Merlin quickly leaned down to peck his cheek. Arthur blinked, obviously surprised but that gave Merlin time to hustle out of the room and run to the library. 

Merlin reached the library and slammed the doors open. He headed straight to the magic aisle and scanned the shelves until he saw the book that he saw this morning. He grabbed it and turned around only to be slammed face first against a strong chest. Hands shot out to stop him from falling, gripping his arms tight. Merlin looked up and saw the familiar pair of blue eyes looking down at him, amused and still vaguely alarmed. 

“Arthur,” Merlin said and then huffed. “I told you to wait in our bedroom!”

“Merlin, really, did you expect me to just wait there while you ran off like that all of a sudden and not expect me to follow?” Arthur asked, a smirk tugging on his lips. Merlin rolled his eyes and pulled away from him before he opened the book in his hands and flipped to the part about magic bonds.

Then, he looked back at Arthur, who was eyeing the book with great interest. 

“Okay, I need you to read this,” Merlin said. “The entire chapter of it. And then we’ll talk.”

Merlin blinked a few times, feeling nervous all over again when Arthur didn’t answer. At last, he nodded and gently pried the book from Merlin’s hands. “Okay,” Arthur said. “So…here or back in our room?”

“Let’s go back to our room,” Merlin proposed. “It’s…I’ll feel more comfortable there if you have any questions.”

Arthur licked his lips and nodded again. He gave Merlin an assuring smile before he jutted his chin towards doors. “Let’s go then.”

 

***

 

It had been an hour since Arthur sat down next to him and began reading the chapter about magic bonds. Merlin had brought his knees against his chest and blanked his mind while he waited for Arthur to finish reading. He subtly flinched every time Arthur flicked to the next page. 

“Okay,” Arthur breathed out, sounding overwhelmed as he reached the end of the chapter. Merlin bit his inner cheek as he looked at his husband. Arthur then looked at him and pointed at the book. “I…I think I get it but…”

“You have questions,” Merlin said, nodding. He had expected this. He dropped his knees and folded them before he turned his body to look at Arthur, his fingers interlaced together and on the sheet in front of him. Arthur mirrored him, the book still on his lap, opened to the last page about magic bonds. 

Arthur took a while to form his question. When he did let the words out, he looked even more overwhelmed. “So, bonding of magic cores. It says in this book there’s different types? What is…a bonding of magic cores actually to a wizard?”

“Well,” Merlin began. He took in a deep breath and then he said, “We have different types of bonding, yes. Okay, so first off, I’ll…I’ll answer what is a bonding between magic cores to a wizard and then…I’ll tell you about the different bonds.”

Arthur nodded, closing the book but letting it remain on his lap. “Go on,” Arthur said. 

Merlin hesitated before he ducked his head, not wanting to look at Arthur while he explained. “To a wizard, or to someone who wields magic in general, their magic cores don’t just act as—a place where magic is generated. It’s a part of them. A part of their soul. Some says that if the magic core gets damaged, the wizard becomes incomplete—sometimes they can grow too weak or senile.”

Arthur stiffened for a second before he shifted a bit. Merlin took that as a cue to continue. 

“So, the magic core is important to us. The magic core also acts as a connection to someone we know or care for. It connects with our family member’s core. We can feel their presence—more like a warm blanket in our chests. It’s one of the strongest bonds. All bonds are strong, to be honest. Just different degrees of bonds. All bonds have one thing in common. They can only be broken by death.”

“What happens…when that person you’re connected to dies?” Arthur asked, his voice was off. Merlin felt his eyes burning as he remembered the emptiness in his chest the second his father died. How the connection immediately disappeared and his magic lashed out, confused and hurt. His mother had taken it even worse, when she gasped out and wailed at the pain of losing her bond mate. 

“You feel this…this emptiness inside of you,” Merlin choked out, trying to keep his voice steady. “You can feel the connection, the bond, disappearing immediately. It leaves a gaping hole in your chest.”

Arthur remained quiet for a while before he said, “ _Oh God_.”

Merlin knew that he had connected the dots but before Arthur could say anything more, Merlin continued, “It’s more painful for someone who’s bonded—romantically. What normal non-magic users would call it as a marriage vow. For us, it’s a step ahead of that. It’s a commitment because there’s no undo button once you’re bonded. It’s sacred.”

Merlin took in a shuddering breath before he looked at Arthur, steeling himself to register the look on Arthur’s face. There was a stricken look on his face, his eyes wide. Merlin gave him a weak smile and Arthur immediately reached for his hands, cradling them in his palms. Merlin sighed in relief and looked at their hands. 

“What else?” Arthur asked. 

“Well,” Merlin said. “There’s also different types of bonds besides the primary categories of being romantic or familial. Like, you can choose if you want your bond to be just a presence, or a bond that protects or even a bond that does both.”

“What do you mean by it protects?” Arthur asked. 

“It means that the bond can be used a medium to help—exchange our magic between our bonded,” Merlin said. “Bonded couples that uses this bonds usually have strong magic. Their magic is strong enough to actually protect their lover from harm even if they’re not there. A shield. And if one of them is weak and their magic core is exhausted, the other can transfer some, not a whole lot, but enough to keep the other sustained enough to fend for themselves.”

Arthur released a breath. “ _Wow_ ,” Arthur said. 

“Yeah,” Merlin said. “If it’s just—as a presence, which is usually what a familial bond is, it means the bond is just there, anchoring our magic core to let them know that we have a family—or we have someone important to us.”

“So,” Arthur said after a while of silence. Merlin glanced at him, gathering enough courage to nod at him. “You want us to bond.”

“Yes,” Merlin said, his cheeks pinking. 

“But,” Arthur said, looking nervous himself. “I don’t have a magic core.”

Merlin blinked at that before he pulled his hands away. Arthur placed the book beside him, watching him with wary eyes. “I think you do,” Merlin said. Arthur furrowed his eyebrows, confused. 

“What do you mean?” Arthur asked. “I don’t have magic.”

“Are you sure?” Merlin asked, eyeing him. Arthur frowned. 

“Of course I’m sure,” Arthur said as he waved a hand around. “If I had magic, do you think I wouldn’t have used it by now?”

“I think you do, Arthur,” Merlin insisted. “My magic wouldn’t demand us to bond if you don’t have it. A magic bond can only happen, can only be instigated when both parties have magical abilities. Our magics would know by itself.”

Arthur opened and then he closed his mouth before he straightened and a weird look entered his face.

“What?” Merlin asked. 

“I,” Arthur said and then he looked away. He started to twirl around his wedding ring and sighed. “I guess…maybe it’s because I wasn’t conceived naturally.”

Merlin blinked at that. “What?”

“Naturally,” Arthur repeated, looking at Merlin in the eyes. “I wasn’t conceived naturally. My Mother…she couldn’t conceive me naturally.”

Merlin let those words sink in his mind for a while before he shook his head, confused. “How else were you conceived then?”

“Yeah,” Arthur said slowly, looking uneasy. “Merlin, I…Nobody else knows about this. No one else besides the council and my Father knows how I was conceived. This was also the reason why she died.”

Merlin realised that Arthur looked slightly panicked, fearful. Of what, Merlin wasn’t sure but whatever it was, it must be really important. Merlin scooted closer to his husband and touched his cheek, caressing him for a second before he gave Arthur an encouraging smile. 

“Hey, I won’t judge you,” Merlin said. “You didn’t judge me for having magic. I won’t judge you for anything.”

Arthur seemed to relax a bit at that before he touched Merlin’s cheek in return. “I hope you won’t,” Arthur said. Merlin pressed his lips against Arthur’s for a second and pulled away. 

“I won’t,” Merlin promised. 

Arthur sighed shakily and then nodded. “Okay,” he said, softly. 

“I was conceived through magic.”

Merlin took in a sharp breath at that. 

That—That was impossible. It was dark magic to create life using magic. “Arthur,” Merlin said. Arthur nodded as if he knew what Merlin was thinking about. 

“It called for a life in exchange,” Arthur said, confirming Merlin’s doubt that it was indeed dark magic. “Mother died in exchange for my life.”

Merlin shook his head, stunned. “Uther did this?” 

“Yes,” Arthur said. “He needed an heir and he didn’t want to betray Mother by taking on a mistress. So, he found another way. Magic.”

“Is that why he…banned magic?” Merlin asked, a lump forming in his throat. 

“Yeah,” Arthur said. “I didn’t know the reason why he banned magic until he was lying on his deathbed.”

Merlin bit his inner cheek, watching Arthur deflate the more he spoke. 

“I don’t…blame him per say,” Arthur said. “I know an heir is important. But I do blame him for Mother’s death. There were other ways of getting an heir even if he doesn’t want to take on a mistress. But he wanted the Pendragon line to continue. So, here I am.”

“Arthur,” Merlin breathed out. He shuffled a bit more closer until their knees brushed and Merlin touched his face with both of his hands. “Arthur, I’m sorry.”

Arthur smiled at him before he sighed. “It’s fine. I’m fine. But there’s your answer to why you think I might have a magic core.”

Merlin pulled his hands away and this time he kept his hands poised in air. Arthur looked at them before he looked at the prince in the eyes, confused. “That means old magic is running through your blood,” Merlin said. “That means it’s possible…you have a magic core.”

Arthur blinked at that. “But…I can’t use magic?” he said, confused. 

“That may be but,” Merlin said. “But it could also mean that your magic core isn’t active. You weren’t born in a land of magic—not in proper land of magic anyway. And when magic was banned, the magic core didn’t have time to be around a proper magic source. Maybe…maybe it became dormant.”

Arthur looked at him sceptically. “So, you’re saying that I might have magic?”

“It’s possible,” Merlin said, chuckling a bit when Arthur snorted. “I know this sounds farfetched but there’s a way to confirm if you do have a magic core or not.”

Arthur nodded at him. “And how do we do that?”

Merlin smiled. “I simply do what parents have done to their newborns to see if they have a magic core or not,” Merlin said. Arthur raised his eyebrows, intrigued. 

“They do that?” Arthur asked. 

“Some magic wielders do marry non-magic users, you know,” Merlin said, raising his own eyebrows. “We don’t marry just within our circles.”

Arthur looked a bit sheepish at that. “Right,” he said before he pointed at both of them. “Like us.”

Merlin grinned, his cheeks flushed. “Yes, like us. But as I said, to assess if their child is with magic or not, they would perform this simple spell that would let them see if the child is surrounded by a certain aura.”

“Aura,” Arthur said, testing the word out. “Merlin, this sounds so complicated.”

“It’s not really,” Merlin said. “Do you think you’ll let me cast the spell on you? It’s harmless, I swear.”

“I trust you,” Arthur immediately said, cutting off any budding doubts in Merlin’s mind. “I do. I’m just…I don’t want to disappoint you if it turns out I don’t have a magic core. And that would mean we can’t bond, right?”

Merlin nodded, looking a bit worried at that prospect. If Arthur truly didn’t have a magic core, he was at a loss at how else to keep Arthur safe without telling him the truth. 

“We’ll see,” Merlin said and then he looked at Arthur properly. “So, can I do it?”

Arthur sat straighter, taking in a deep breath before he nodded. Merlin was about to cast the spell when Arthur placed a hand on Merlin’s face. “Wait,” he said. 

Merlin furrowed his eyebrows, confused. “Why?”

Arthur didn’t answer him, instead, he pulled Merlin close to his face and then kissed him. It was a chaste kiss but it was still enough to make him fluster. Merlin stuttered as he pulled away, his eyes wide and his cheeks red. “There, I’m ready,” Arthur said, a cheeky smile on his face.

Merlin cleared his throat and rolled his eyes, feigning coolness. “R—right,” Merlin said, flushing red again when Arthur continued to look cheeky. “Just…stop looking like that,” Merlin grumbled. Arthur smoothed his smile into a proper soft one. 

“Okay, okay, I’m done,” Arthur said and he took another deep breath. “Ready whenever you are.”

Merlin nodded and his eyes flashed gold, the spell at the tip of his tongue. He waved his right hand around Arthur and Merlin finally spoke the spell. 

The effect was immediate. 

_Sudden_.

Arthur took in a sharp breath, his eyes wide as he stared at Merlin. 

“Merlin?” Arthur whispered, his voice choked. Merlin was speechless too as he stared at Arthur. He was glowing. 

In _green_. 

“Why…why am I glowing green?” Arthur asked, sounding a bit worried. Merlin breathed out, his heart thundering loudly in his chest. 

“Arthur,” Merlin said, a relieved smile was tugging at his lips but he wasn’t sure if Arthur would be happy at this development or not. “Arthur…you have _magic_.”

Arthur stilled. 

“What… _what_?” Arthur choked out. 

“Green means you have magic,” Merlin said as he continued to look at the green glow emitting around Arthur. “Blue means you don’t. You’re supposed to glow blue if you don’t have magic. But you’re glowing green.”

“I,” Arthur began and then closed his mouth. He looked even more overwhelmed than before. Merlin swished his hand once and the spell ended, the green glow disappearing. Arthur was taking deep breaths as his eyes searched Merlin’s face in disbelief. “ _I got magic_ ,” he said at last. 

“Yeah,” Merlin said. “Yeah, you have magic.”

“H—I,” Arthur said, speechless. Then, Merlin saw it. The panic on his face. Merlin’s heart sank to the bottom of his chest as Arthur got out of the bed. He was shaking a bit, his eyes wide and looking pale. “I…I _can’t_ have magic.”

Merlin got out of their bed as well, keeping his distance with his obviously panicked husband. He didn’t know what to do. All he could say was, “But you do.”

Arthur ran his fingers through his blond hair and then dragged his hands down his face. “Oh god,” Arthur breathed out. “Oh God, I’m with _magic_. I _have_ magic.” He chuckled, sounding hysterical. “I have magic. What—the _fuck_?”

Merlin watched him carefully, biting his inner cheek from blurting out things in offence. 

Was having magic that bad?

Why was Arthur panicking this badly?

“Are you…okay?” Merlin asked, unsure of what was right to ask and not. Arthur dropped his hands to his sides to look at Merlin incredulously. 

“No, Merlin, I’m not okay,” Arthur said, his voice weak. “I have magic.”

Merlin then realised what this fear was. 

_Of course_.

Merlin could have slapped his face for doubting Arthur. 

This must be all new to Arthur. This must have been shocking to someone who lived his entire life not knowing he had magic and to see it being confirmed right in front of his eyes, especially raised in an era where magic was evil and Uther would have executed them for even being born with it—Merlin knew he would be shocked and having a hard time believing if he was Arthur too. 

“Arthur,” Merlin said as he took a cautious step forward. Arthur looked ready to hyperventilate. Merlin managed to get close to him and he placed his hands on his arms, rubbing his forearm just to calm him down. He gave Arthur a warm smile. “You’ll be fine.”

Arthur looked at him for a while before he grabbed Merlin by the wrists and hugged him tight, burying his face against his neck. Startled, Merlin froze. And then he relaxed and hugged him back. 

“This is so surreal,” Arthur said. Merlin rubbed his back, humming under his breath as he let Arthur’s mind to accept this information. “So weird. _Me_? _Magic_? I can’t believe it.”

“Well, you can look at the bright side,” Merlin said and Arthur tightened his grip. “You now have both magic and strength.”

Arthur chuckled, sounding a bit calm from before. “I do, don’t I?” Arthur said, his voice tight but Merlin could sense the underlying tone of amusement. It made Merlin relax in return. 

They stood there embracing each other for a long while. Merlin didn’t make a sound but he kept his ears open for any sounds of distress. It felt like hours but only thirty minutes when Arthur finally pulled away. He looked less wild and more assured, accepting. 

“How do you feel?” Merlin asked, touching a hand on his cheek. Arthur sighed before he gave Merlin a smile, a weak one but it was a smile. 

“I feel overwhelmed,” Arthur confessed. “But it’s mostly because I never entertained the idea that I could possibly have magic.”

Merlin nodded, understandingly. “Okay,” Merlin said. “So, what do you want to do now?”

Arthur ran a hand through his hair. “You said you wanted to bond, right?”

Merlin searched his face before he shook his head. “Maybe you need a few days to let this settle in your head,” Merlin said. Even though he wanted nothing more for Arthur to agree, he knew now that this wasn’t going to be as easy as that. He would give Arthur time, meanwhile, he would just have to personally protect Arthur himself. 

“I,” Arthur began and then he looked resigned and guilty. “Yeah, I really do. I’m sorry, Merlin.”

Merlin chewed his bottom lip, stopping only when Arthur, like usual, pried the lip from his teeth. “It’s fine,” Merlin said with a sigh of his own. “It’s only fair. I’m asking a lot from you.”

“I’m sorry,” Arthur said. Merlin shook his head, leaning to kiss his cheek. 

“You took this better than I imagined,” Merlin said with a shrug. “I’m disappointed, yeah, but at the same time, I know it’s better if we don’t rush into it. Especially with you being magic and all. I’m here, okay? If you have questions, if you need guidance or if you made up your mind, I’m here. And no matter what your decision is, I’ll promise to support you.”

Arthur looked pleased at that. His eyes filled with adoration and fondness. “Thank you, Merlin,” Arthur said with a soft breath. “You’re amazing.”

Merlin flushed and he chuckled. “I’m not, really,” Merlin said. “You’re just biased.”

“Perhaps,” Arthur easily agreed. Merlin gave him another smile before he pulled, patting Arthur’s chest. 

“I think a nice bath would help you relax,” Merlin said. “I’ll go prepare it for you.”

Arthur wrapped his grip around Merlin’s right hand and stopped him from moving away. “I,” Arthur began and then stopped. “If it’s not too much trouble…”

Merlin waited patiently for him to continue.

Arthur shifted his weight from one foot to the next and then said, “If it’s not too much trouble…share a bath with me?”

Merlin’s whole face lit up in red. His eyes went wide and his body tingled at what Arthur was proposing.

“Arthur,” Merlin breathed out, suddenly aware at how close they were. 

“I won’t touch you if that’s not what you want,” Arthur quickly said. “I just want you there with me, just to hold. I promise.”

Merlin blinked a few times at him. There was this band of anticipation coiling at the pit of his stomach and if he was being honest, the idea of being naked in front of his husband was—appealing. He was nervous though. He had never been naked in front of anyone else but himself before. 

Arthur sighed again when Merlin made no move to agree or disagree. “It’s fine, forget what I asked,” Arthur said, rubbing the back of his neck as his cheeks pinked, looking properly ashamed. “I shouldn’t have been so brusque.”

“No,” Merlin said and he shook his head when he saw Arthur’s face falling in resignation. “No! I mean, yes!”

Arthur stilled. 

“Yes, yes, I’ll uh…join you uhm,” Merlin said, flushing deeper with every words that left his mouth.

 

***

 

It was— _awkward_. Having his back flushed against Arthur’s chest while they both naked. It was enough for him to remain frozen forever. 

“If you’re really uncomfortable,” Arthur murmured, his hot breath fanning the back of his neck, sending shivers down his spine. “You can leave.”

“Arthur,” Merlin murmured. The arms around his waist tightened a fraction and it made him gasp. “It’s…it’s fine—I…I’m just…self-cautious.”

Arthur placed his forehead on Merlin’s bare shoulder. “Why?”

Merlin shrugged, trying to take in deep breaths before he pushed against Arthur and settled on his chest properly. Arthur hummed a bit before he adjusted his grip on Merlin’s waist. 

“You haven’t…,” Merlin began, reddening. “Seen me properly naked.”

Arthur hadn’t even peeked when Merlin asked him to close his eyes and turn around while he undressed. And yet, Merlin was still self-cautious with his body. Arthur remained quiet for a second.

“Is there something wrong with your body?” Arthur asked. 

“No,” Merlin said, hesitantly. “Not if you think scrawny is something not wrong with my body.”

Arthur frowned. “You’re not scrawny, Merlin,” he said. 

“I am,” Merlin said with a sigh. “You don’t have to be so kind.”

“I’m not lying,” Arthur insisted as he pulled away. Merlin blinked, sitting up straight, disliking the sudden coldness where Arthur’s warmth had been. 

“Arthur?” Merlin asked and gasped when Arthur touched his shoulder and asked him non-verbally to turn around. Merlin hesitated for a second before he did and found himself straddling his lap. Blushing red and flustered, Merlin stuttered, “W—What?”

Arthur touched his waist and smiled at the prince. Merlin tentatively touched his shoulder, his wet digits pressing against Arthur’s. “Now, let me look at you,” Arthur said. 

Merlin blushed even redder when he saw Arthur’s eyes dragging down his naked chest before it stopped at where his lower half was submerged in water. Merlin closed his eyes and buried his face on Arthur’s shoulder, shy. 

“You’re perfect you know,” Arthur said, wrapping his arms around the waist and dragging Merlin closer until their chests touched. Merlin’s breath hitched as he shifted on Arthur’s lap, feeling every single part of the King against him. 

It was then with clarity that Merlin remembered that they were both naked. He bit his inner cheek from making a noise of surprise at that. 

“This is embarrassing,” Merlin whispered against Arthur’s skin. 

Arthur’s hands remained on his waist, never drifting anywhere else. Merlin was glad Arthur was being so patient with him. It made his heart melt. 

“Why?” Arthur asked with a small huff of breath. 

“Because,” Merlin whispered again. “I’ve never…been like this with anyone else.”

“Naked you mean?” Arthur said, sounding a bit amused. “I know, love. It’s fine if you’re uncomfortable. You can leave anytime.”

“No, no, I’m just,” Merlin said as he tightened his hands on Arthur’s shoulders. “I’m just saying it feels awkward for me. Like I don’t know what to do.”

“If it’s any consolation,” Arthur said, his breath against Merlin’s neck. He grasped Arthur tighter as a shiver wracked through his body. Arthur seemed a bit surprised at this but he didn’t comment. “I’m having a hard time not trying to touch you anywhere else.”

Merlin made a weird noise at the back of his throat, digging his fingers into Arthur’s skin. The King yelped and then chuckled. 

“Sorry,” Merlin said. “Just, maybe you should refrain from saying such things while we’re like this.”

“It makes you feel something?” Arthur asked, cheekily. Merlin grumbled as he opened his mouth and bit Arthur’s shoulder in retaliation. Though, he made sure he didn’t truly bite him, merely a pressure of his teeth on his skin. Arthur still sat up straighter like he had been shocked. “Alright! Alright! I’ll keep my teasing to a minimum. I don’t want to lose a chunk of my shoulder.”

Merlin chuckled, causing Arthur to do the same. 

They remained like this for a while, Merlin relaxed as he felt Arthur’s fingers making soft circles on his hip. “About my…magic,” Arthur said, catching Merlin’s attention. “Will I be able to use it?”

Merlin pulled away to look at his husband’s face and smiled. “Yes,” Merlin said, beaming at the thought of Arthur using magic. “It’s possible. You just need to practise. Your magic core is probably stiff from not being used. It’ll take time but you’ll be able to use magic.”

Arthur hummed. “That’s great,” Arthur said. 

“Do you want to use magic?” Merlin asked, deflating at Arthur’s short response. “I mean, if you don’t want to use magic, it’s fine. You don’t have to.”

Arthur searched Merlin’s face before he said, “But then we can’t bond, can we?”

Merlin shrugged, looking away from Arthur’s face to his strong chest. Merlin’s mind blanked again, once more realising that they were naked from head to toe and pressed up together like this. Arthur’s chest was defined in a way that had Merlin itching to touch him, trace every groove and flex with his fingers. It sent a bold of arousal coiling at the pit of his stomach and he hastily shook the thought away, looking past Arthur’s shoulders at the wall instead. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said, touching his face, nudging the prince to look at him. He gave him a smile, a soft fond smile that spelt out all the promises he had made to Merlin. “We’ll bond, alright?”

Merlin furrowed his eyebrows before he shook his head. “You promised to think about it, remember?”

Arthur sighed. “Right,” he said. “It’s just…you know I would do anything to make you happy, right?”

Merlin’s heart once again melted. “I do,” Merlin said before he smiled. “But it’ll only make me happy if you’re happy. A bond is permanent until death, Arthur. You need to think about it.”

Arthur looked a bit unhappy, most probably misunderstanding him but Merlin simply placed a finger on his lips. “Think about it,” he urged Arthur. 

Arthur touched his wrist and pulled his finger away before he brought his hands to press against his lips. Merlin flushed, a bit dazed as Arthur kept his eyes firmly on Merlin as he did so. 

“Okay,” Arthur agreed. “Tell me how we bond.”

Merlin tore his eyes away from Arthur’s lips to look at him in his eyes. He reddened again, shifting a bit on his husband’s lap when he saw the way Arthur’s eyes clouded. “Uh, yeah,” Merlin said, licking his lips. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said, sounding amused. “Love?”

“I just want to kiss you,” Merlin said, honestly. 

Arthur chuckled before he dragged Merlin down to kiss him. Merlin pulled his hand from Arthur’s grip to touch his face, cradling his jaw as he kissed him back. Arthur dragged a hand to the small of his back before he pushed Merlin against him in a way that elicited a gasp from him. 

Merlin pulled away before he buried his face against Arthur’s shoulder. “What was your question?” Merlin murmured. 

Arthur hummed. “How do we bond?” he repeated. 

“Oh,” Merlin said, tucking his chin on his shoulder, staring at the wall. “A simple spell in front of a witness. The spell will pull a strand from my magic core and yours and intertwine it together. That’s all.”

“Huh,” Arthur said. “I expected something more complicated.”

Merlin chuckled, sighing. “Not everything complicated has to be done in that way.”

Arthur didn’t say anything for a while. “Alright, let’s get out of the bath or else we’re going to prune.”

Merlin grinned and pulled himself away from Arthur before he cleared his throat. “You get out first.”

“Ah,” Arthur said, his eyes twinkling in amusement. “Alright.”

Merlin closed his eyes tight when he heard Arthur standing up before he got out of the bath. 

“Alright, I’ll leave you here now,” Arthur said. 

Merlin bit his bottom lip, his breath hitching in his breath when he felt a hand on his hair. When the door clicked closed, Merlin finally opened his eyes. He couldn’t help the flustered smile that crossed his lips. He sighed as he stood up as well. He looked at his fingertips, feeling his magic buzzing. 

“I hope he’ll want to bond,” Merlin whispered. Because if Arthur didn’t want to, Merlin had no choice but to defend him himself. 

_And_ —Merlin thought. He would do it, without hesitation.

 

***

 

“Do you want to go visit Andrew today?” Arthur asked as he ate his breakfast. Merlin beamed at that, a smile gracing his lips. 

“Yes,” Merlin said. Arthur grinned, nodding. “Wait…don’t you have things to do today though? Like the meeting with the counc—”

“They can wait,” Arthur groused, tensing. Merlin blinked, taken aback at the snap before he realised _why_ Arthur looked like that. His heart sank to the bottom of his chest, his lips thinned. He twirled his fork and looked at the plate, the momentary happiness vanished to something akin to dread. “Merlin?”

“They’re still adamant on you finding a woman, aren’t they?” Merlin asked, a bite to his words. Bitterness crawled in his chest. He was angry at the council. If that had been their plan, they shouldn't have suggested for Arthur to marry him. Merlin didn’t want to share Arthur, for an heir or not. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said, his voice soft and yet resigned. Merlin winched at the tone as he dropped his fork on the plate, letting it clatter loudly, startling the King. “Love.”

“I can’t _believe_ them,” Merlin spat out as he looked at Arthur. The King himself looked put out, a frown on his face. “How could they demand you to find a woman when you’re clearly married to me?”

Arthur opened his mouth before he closed it. “That’s…it’s normal, actually,” he said, his voice quiet. That sent a pang of hurt in Merlin. Arthur noticed the look and shook his head. “Not to me, I promise. But what I’m saying is, that’s usually how things work in this monarchy.”

“Not for mine,” Merlin said. 

“I know,” Arthur said, giving him a warm smile. It was enough to placate Merlin a little while longer. “I won’t do it, you know. I won’t betray you like that. I certainly have no interest on doing what they want.”

“I know,” Merlin said, sucking his bottom lip before he let it go. “I know. I believe you. I’m just annoyed at them. You’re _my_ husband. Not anyone else’s.” 

Arthur smiled wider, his eyes glimmered in delight. “Only yours,” he promised. Merlin gave him a tentative smile before he sighed. 

“Alright, can we go now?” Merlin asked. Arthur furrowed his eyebrows before he pointed at Merlin’s half-empty plate. Merlin shook his head. “I’m not that hungry. I’m more excited to see Andrew.”

Arthur looked fond at that. “But you need to eat something,” Arthur said, licking his lips in worry. 

Merlin huffed a breath. “I’m full,” Merlin said, trying to keep a whine out of his tone. He was a Prince, he didn’t do _whining_. Unfortunately, Arthur still looked amused at him.

“Fine,” Arthur said as he pushed his half-empty plate away. “If you won’t finish your breakfast, I won’t too.”

“W— _Wait_ ,” Merlin said, stopping Arthur from getting up, guilt crawling in his chest. “Don’t. You should eat.”

“But you aren’t eating,” Arthur said, trying to look innocent. Merlin sighed before he slumped on his chair, defeated. He threw his hands up in the air. 

“Fine,” Merlin mumbled as he picked up the fork and shoved the rest of the food into his mouth as fast as he could. Arthur looked pleased with himself. Merlin didn’t berate him for it. In fact, he felt warm inside that Arthur cared so much about him.

 

***

 

The walk to the orphanage didn’t take much time. Maybe because Merlin was more occupied about how he should act once he saw Andrew than thinking about how long it would take to get there. Arthur had touched his hand and intertwined their fingers, greeting some people who stopped them to say hi. 

Merlin was still nervous about being out in public, especially in broad daylight. He could still feel some stares on him, some in curiosity and some in hate. Arthur tugged him closer when Merlin started to fidget, looking more and more uncomfortable. 

“Maybe we should have taken a car or something,” Arthur said as he pulled his hand away and draped his arm across Merlin’s shoulders. Merlin chuckled, nervously as he knocked Arthur’s chest with his knuckles. 

“It’s fine,” Merlin said, clearing his throat. “I’m just going to have to get used to the stares.”

Arthur frowned as he sighed. “You shouldn’t have to,” Arthur said. He pressed his lips against Merlin’s temple, earning a soft smile. 

“Maybe,” Merlin agreed. “But right now, I just want to see Andrew.”

“Nothing can deter you from the boy, huh?” Arthur asked, sounding amused. Merlin looked at him. 

“Don’t you want to see him too?” Merlin asked. Arthur grinned, his eyes brightened.

“Of course I want to see him too,” Arthur said. “I’m the one who suggested us seeing him today.”

Merlin chuckled, nodding. “Right,” Merlin said. “I hope he’s been fine since the last time we saw him.”

“He’s in good hands,” Arthur assured, squeezing Merlin against him. 

“It’s still sad,” Merlin said as he leaned closer against Arthur as they slowed down their walk. “To lose your family as such an age.”

Arthur touched his hair, nodding. “It is,” Arthur said. “That’s why we always keep a check on them every once a month, to make sure the children are always happy and healthy.”

Merlin’s face warmed in pride at that. “I’m glad,” Merlin murmured. They continued to walk before they stopped in front of a small building at the corner of the street. It was the orphanage. There were children playing at the lawn, some playing with their friends while some played at the playground. 

Merlin couldn’t help but to smile at the precious image. They were all smiling and laughing. It made Merlin’s heart squeeze.

Arthur pulled away, smiling at the scene too when Merlin glanced at him. “Let’s go inside,” he said, looking at the prince. Merlin nodded, taking in a deep breath as he walked past the children, waving hello when they saw them. The door to the orphanage was opened for the children to walk in and out of the building. 

One woman walked out of a room, carrying a three year old girl, smiling and talking to her before she froze when her eyes landed on Merlin and Arthur. Then, she immediately scurried over to them, her eyes wide. The three year old girl wiggled in her arm, sucking a lollipop and was put to the ground gently. With a pat on her head, the girl rushed out of the house. 

“My King! My Prince!” the woman said, clapping her hands once. “What business has brought you two over here in this hour of the day?”

“Hi,” Merlin said. “We’re just here to uh see this boy.”

“Oh,” the woman said, taken aback. She nodded once. “I’m Mariam,” she said, introducing herself with a sweet smile. Merlin and Arthur shook her hand with a smile of their own. “So, which boy are you here to see?”

“His name is Andrew,” Arthur said. “We met him at the ball and had promised ourselves to visit him again.”

Mariam’s eyes shone bright at the mention of Andrew, a soft sigh escaped her lips. “Yes, Andrew,” she said. “That quiet sweet boy.”

“Quiet?” Merlin asked, wondering if they were talking about the same boy he had met. 

“Oh, yes,” Mariam said. “Come along, I’ll show you to where he is.”

Merlin glanced at Arthur, raising his eyebrows. Arthur simply gave him a shrug, a confused look wormed on his face. Arthur leaned close to whisper in Merlin’s ear, “The boy’s name is Andrew…right?”

Merlin grabbed Arthur’s hand and squeezed his fingers, furrowing his eyebrows. “Yeah, I’m sure his name is Andrew,” Merlin said as they followed Mariam down a corridor and up the stairs. 

They stopped in front of an opened door. Mariam walked inside before she looked at Merlin and Arthur from across her shoulder with a smile. She gestured them both to come inside, to which they did with mild alarm and a whole lot of curiosity. Mariam then walked to one of the comfy beanbags pushed against the cream-coloured walls. 

There Andrew was. He was curled on the beanbag, his curly brown hair bouncing every time he turned a page of the children’s book. His lips were pursed and his eyebrows were drawn tight in concentration. Merlin almost cooed at how cute Andrew looked and when Merlin glanced at the King, he noted that Arthur had a soft fond look on his face too. 

“Andrew, love,” Mariam said as she knelt in front of the boy. Andrew looked at her before he smiled, his face radiating of happiness. His green eyes shimmered prettily. “There’s someone here to see you.”

Merlin took in a sharp breath when Andrew’s eyes looked at him and then he brightened even more. Merlin huffed his breath, feeling his heart beat loudly. He had never felt this surge of paternal instinct for a child before but here he was, wanting nothing more but to hold Andrew and give everything the boy wanted, spoil him rotten if it meant Andrew would smile all the time. 

“Merlin!” Andrew said, closing the book and placing it aside. Then his green eyes slid to Arthur and he grinned. “Arthur!”

“Hi,” Merlin said as he untangled his hand from Arthur’s and took a step towards the boy. He knelt down beside Mariam, smiling. “It’s nice to see you again!”

“You too,” the boy said before he pointed to his book. “Do you like reading?”

Mariam chuckled, warmly. “I’ll leave you two be with him for a while then?” she asked. 

“Thank you,” Arthur said as Mariam walked away. Arthur sat next to Merlin, grinning. “Hi, Andrew.”

“Hello,” Andrew said before he raised the book to show the cover to the both of them. “Do you like reading?” he repeated the question.

“Yes,” Merlin said, smiling. 

“Merlin here,” Arthur said as he jabbed a finger at the prince. “Loves to read. I gave him the entire library when he first came to my castle.”

“Woah,” Andrew said, his eyes lighting up at that. “I love reading too. It’s fun.”

“It is,” Merlin agreed as he read the title of the book. “So, is Mrs Snuggle Bunny’s Adventures your favourite book to read?”

Andrew nodded. “I like her,” Andrew said as he opened the book to a page where there was an illustrated picture of a rabbit, looking cute and cuddly wearing a frilly pink apron. Arthur bit his bottom lip from laughing meanwhile Merlin blinked at the picture. 

“She’s adorable,” Merlin said.

“What is your favourite book?” Andrew asked. 

Merlin hummed as he thought about all the books he had read since he was young. “My favourite is actually a mystery novel,” Merlin said. “It’s about this detective looking for clues in an abandoned town for a missing person’s case only to realise he’s dead too.”

Arthur made a weird noise at that. Merlin glanced at him, raising his eyebrows. 

“No offence but that plot is…,” Arthur trailed off, making a face. Merlin laughed and slapped his arm in retaliation. 

“Oh,” Andrew said, looking mildly interested. “Can I read it?”

Merlin blinked at the request. “Sure! I think I might be able to get you a copy,” Merlin said, resisting the urge to brush a curl out of the boy’s face. 

“Hey, why are you here alone?” Arthur asked. 

“I love books more,” Andrew said with a shrug. “No one else likes what I like so I stay here all day until bedtime.”

Merlin’s heart thumped sadly at that. Arthur frowned slightly too. 

“Don’t you want to play outside and make friends?” Arthur asked. Andrew shook his head, hugging the book to his chest. 

“No one else thinks reading is fun,” Andrew said. He didn’t sound sad about it but there was something in those green eyes that made Merlin think he wanted friends anyway. Merlin couldn’t help the urge to touch his hand this time and smiled gently. 

“I get it,” Merlin said. “When I was your age, I didn’t have much friends either. I liked to read a lot and no one understood why.”

Andrew looked comforted by that fact. 

“However,” Merlin said. “I did make one friend. His name is Will. He thinks reading is cool too and would read with me every time he gets the chance. And one day, you’ll find a friend who’ll like what you like too.”

“I will?” Andrew asked, almost timidly. Arthur shifted closer to the boy before he touched Andrew’s hair and patted him. 

“You will,” Arthur said. “I hope you don’t mind us being your first friends because we’ll like to be your friends.”

Andrew looked taken aback at him. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” Merlin said with a smile. 

“Okay,” Andrew said as he shuffled closer to the both of them. “Would you like to read it with me?”

Merlin glanced at Arthur with an amused smile to which Arthur returned with a grin. They both stood up and settled at each side of Andrew while the boy hurriedly opened to the first page of the book. 

And they spent the entire morning until lunchtime with Andrew, reading.

 

***

 

Merlin hummed, happily, as he walked out of the orphanage after he promised Andrew that he would visit again soon. Arthur looked giddy too, a grin on his face as he interlaced their fingers. 

“He’s so cute, Arthur,” Merlin said with a fond sigh.

“He’s a nice boy,” Arthur agreed. “I’m a bit worried at how quickly we’re fond of him.”

“I don’t mind,” Merlin said. “I feel like dotting on him.”

“And spoiling him rotten?” Arthur asked. Merlin nodded. “Me too.”

“Arthur,” Merlin began and Arthur sighed, looking at him. “I think we should—…he should live with us.”

Arthur searched Merlin’s face before he pulled Merlin closer by their intertwined hands. “How about when you turn twenty-one, we’ll adopt him?”

Merlin bit his bottom lip before he placed his forehead against Arthur’s shoulder. “Okay,” Merlin said, knowing that Arthur was right. “I know I’m too young to be a parent and I know it’s not going to be easy. I’ll be lying if I said the idea of me being a father isn’t scary but—this is first time I ever felt like I want to protect and raise a child I met.”

A hand touched the back of his hand, fingers ran through his hair, comforting him. “I know how you feel,” Arthur agreed. “Like I said, we’ll get to know the boy until your birthday and then we’ll present the option of adopting to him. And if he agrees, we’ll adopt him.”

“Do you think we’ll be good parents?” Merlin asked as he pulled away to look at Arthur. Arthur quirked his lips into a smile. 

“I don’t know,” he said, honestly. “But I know we’ll be the parents who won’t ever stop loving our child.”

Merlin smiled, cheeks blushing and his heart warming. “Yeah,” Merlin said as he pecked his lips. “I agree.”

“Come on,” Arthur said. “Let’s grab something to eat.”

“Oh, are we not going back to the castle?” Merlin asked as he followed Arthur, making sure to stick close to him and not bump into anyone. 

“Do you want to?” Arthur said. “I thought it’ll be nice if we ate lunch together outside for once.”

Merlin pinked as he squeezed their hands. “As in…a date?” Merlin couldn’t help but to ask. Arthur looked at Merlin before he smiled. 

“Yeah,” he said. Merlin brightened at that and closed his eyes a bit when Arthur kissed his forehead. 

“Where are we going then?” Merlin asked. 

“Hm, there’s this new restaurant that seemed to have opened a few weeks ago,” Arthur said. “Maybe we could try that?”

Merlin chuckled. “Wouldn’t they panic seeing the King blatantly walking into their restaurant without prior notice?”

Arthur laughed, nodding. “Touché but you know, today, with you, I just feel like being Arthur.”

“That might be a bit hard to accomplish,” Merlin said as he looked around them, noting that some people have stopped what they were doing to look at them. “We’re attracting a lot of attention.”

“Ignore them,” Arthur whispered as he leaned in close. “All that matters right now is you and I.”

Merlin’s heart skipped a beat at that as he nodded, bumping his shoulder against Arthur’s. “Okay,” he said. 

Merlin was about to continue walking when his attention was caught by a scarf, hanging on display behind the glass windows of a scarf and mittens shop. He stopped walking, halting Arthur in the process. Merlin took a few steps closer to the window to look at the scarf. It was pretty. The scarf was in light blue, a colour that reminded him of Arthur’s eyes. The material used to make the scarf looked comfortable and cosy and Merlin was a goner for soft clothing. 

“What is it?” Arthur asked as he looked at what Merlin was looking at. “It’s a scarf.”

“It’s a very nice scarf,” Merlin said, eyeing it for a minute. 

“Do you want it?” Arthur asked. Merlin hummed before he sighed. 

“I still haven’t managed to convert my money to your currency, so,” Merlin said, wondering if he could convert the money after lunch and come right back here to buy it. Arthur though, had already begun pulling him into the shop. “Arthur?”

“Come on, I’ll buy it for you,” Arthur said. 

“W—Wait,” Merlin said. “You don’t have to!”

“Nonsense,” Arthur assured, flashing a charming grin over his shoulders. “If my love wants it, he shall get it.”

Merlin reddened, making a face at that statement even though it made him undeniably pleased to be referred to like that. “Is that a confession I hear?” Merlin joked, not expecting Arthur to still. 

Arthur looked a bit nervous now before he laughed at Merlin’s joke—weirdly. “Maybe,” Arthur muttered but it was clear he didn’t want Merlin to hear it. Merlin did anyway and frowned. 

What did that mean?

“Sire?” a man squeaked as he saw Arthur. “W—What can I do for you, my King?”

“That…scarf,” Arthur said, pointing to it. “Merlin wants it.”

“ _Please_ ,” Merlin added, nudging Arthur’s shoulder. Arthur chuckled. 

“ _Please_ ,” he added. 

The man looked a bit intimidated but he nodded anyway as he walked to the window, taking a look of the scarf before he frowned. Merlin bit his bottom lip, watching him carefully. “Oh, this is a specially requested scarf,” the man said, sounding apologetic. “It’s not actually for sale.”

“Oh,” Merlin said, disappointed. “Well, thank you—”

“Who made the scarf?” Arthur asked, sounding curious. “And why would you display something you aren’t selling?”

“O—Oh,” the man said, surprised. “It’s not me who decides what gets displayed. It’s our owner. He’s also the one who makes the scarf.”

“Can we meet him then?” Arthur asked. Merlin rocked on his feet, amused as he watched the man fidget. 

“He went out to eat lunch,” the man said. “He’ll be back in thi—”

“I’m back, Mr Klauz,” a familiar voice said as he walked into the shop. Merlin froze at that voice causing Arthur to freeze as well. 

“No,” Merlin whispered as he pushed Arthur aside to look at the person who entered the shop. And Merlin’s blood ran cold when he realised it was Cenred. Cenred stopped, looking slightly alarmed when his eyes landed on Merlin before he looked at Arthur. And then, the look of alarm vanished, replaced with a smile. 

“Well, hello there,” Cenred said with a bow. “My King. My Prince.”

“Cenred,” Merlin said. Arthur became stiffer if that was possible. He tightened his grip on Merlin’s hand. 

“ _You_ ,” Arthur breathed out, tense. “ _You_ own this shop?”

“Oh, yes, I do,” Cenred said with a nod. “What can I do for you both today?”

“It’s nothing,” Merlin said, quickly. 

“Actually,” Arthur said, cutting him off. “That scarf—did you make that?”

Cenred looked at where Arthur pointed before he nodded, looking pleased. “Yes, I made that,” Cenred said. “For someone— _special_.”

Merlin squirmed under Cenred’s stare and only sighed in relief when Arthur stood in front of him to block him from Cenred’s gaze. 

“I take it you’re here for the scarf, sire?” Cenred said as he walked to the display, taking hold of the scarf with delicate hands. “I won’t mind presenting this to you both as a gift.”

“I don’t need it as a _gift_ ,” Arthur rejected. “Name your price.”

“I don’t want it anymore,” Merlin said. Arthur looked at him before he thinned his lips. Cenred looked amused, not remorseful at all. 

“But, _Merlin_ ,” Cenred said. Merlin winced at that. Arthur gritted his teeth.

“ _What_ did you call him?” Arthur said. 

“Oh, he told me to call him that when we met,” Cenred said. 

“I did but,” Merlin said. “That was _before_ I found out you wanted to bed me.”

“Ah, yes,” Cenred said. “Have you changed your mind about it?”

Arthur took a step towards him, ready to grab Cenred by his collar. Merlin stopped him with a hand on his arm as he glared at Cenred. 

“You’re pushing your luck,” Merlin hissed. “Keep the scarf. Let’s go, Arthur.”

“If I ever see you agin, if I ever see you _talking_ to Merlin again,” Arthur warned, his voice filled with venom. “I’ll make sure you never set a foot in Camelot again.”

Cenred didn’t say anything. He just tilted his head down a bit in respect. Arthur turned around and marched out of the shop. Merlin licked his lips and was about to follow Arthur out when Cenred piped out and said, “Will you consider it after he’s _dead_?” 

Merlin froze, his ears ringing. His heart thumped loudly against his chest as he whirled around to look at Cenred, who had his back turned and placing the scarf back on display. Merlin’s magic bubbled in his body in agitation. Cenred looked at him before he blinked, a clear picture of innocence. 

“Yes?” Cenred said.

Merlin furrowed his eyebrows before he glared at Cenred one last time and walked out of the shop. Arthur looked at him, eyebrows raising. 

“Nothing,” Merlin said, giving him a fake smile. He really thought he heard Cenred saying something. He glanced at the shop one last time before he said, “I’m hungry. Let’s go.”

Arthur looked at Merlin carefully before he gave him a nod. “Let’s go.”

 

***

 

Arthur hadn’t mentioned about the bonding thing since that day a week ago. It wasn’t like Merlin expected him to quickly make his mind up since Merlin had assured him to take his time. But it still didn’t quell the nervousness and restless inside him. In fact, he wanted badly to return to the forest where he had last seen Morgana, just to take a look of the place. 

He got his opportunity when Arthur was dragged away for a whole day council meeting. Merlin took in a deep breath as he snuck out of the castle to the forest, furrowing his eyebrows as he made sure to step in the small path. He tried his best to recall which directions Arthur took that day. But to Merlin, everything looked the same. 

Merlin casted a tracking spell so he wouldn’t get lost and continued his way into the forest until he came across the familiar clearing near the river. “Found it,” he breathed out as he continued to walk to where he had stood with Arthur. 

He looked around the place before he bit his bottom lip. 

“Right, if she was here,” Merlin murmured to himself, looking at where he had spotted Morgana. He hesitated before he shook his head and walked there. He pushed past the leaves and stepped on branches and twigs, each rustle and snap was loud and echoing through the quiet forest. 

Merlin hummed in confusion when he stood at the exact spot Morgana had been. But, there was nothing out of ordinary here. He turned around, raising his right hand to cast a detection spell. His magic spanned out the entire area in a two kilometre radius but alas, nothing seemed out of place. 

“How did you get here?” Merlin asked himself, rubbing the back of his neck. “How are you here but there’s no trace of your magic residue?”

And that was when he felt a prickle, like someone was staring at him. Merlin turned to look but he found nobody was there. He frowned, licking his lips as nervousness trickled in his chest. And that was when his magic started reacting to the hostile atmosphere that seemed to have rolled into the scene without a warning. 

Merlin’s shoulders tensed and his eyes widened when he heard a laugh, feminine and dark. 

“That’s because I’m not that much of an idiot to leave any residue of my magic behind,” Morgana’s voice echoed around him. Merlin looked right ahead him and there she was, dressed in blood red cloak, the hoodie covering half of her face. Her eyes were green and deadly, they looked almost glowing under the shadows of the trees. 

“Morgana,” Merlin breathed out. 

Morgana tilted her head upwards a bit to stare at him before she grinned. Her pale hands were raised and touched the edges of her hood. Then, she pushed it back, revealing jet black hair, wavy and fell past her shoulders beautifully. 

She was stunning. 

Merlin’s breath hitched in his throat when she tilted her head to the side, her red lips stretched in amusement. A malice amusement. 

“I didn’t know Arthur preferred men in bed,” Morgana said, her voice soft and yet it held a lot of darkness in them. Merlin could see sparks of magic circling around her in poison green. 

“Who are you?” Merlin asked. 

Morgana grinned, her teeth white and sharp. “I thought you knew who I was. I am Morgana, Emrys.”

Merlin took a step back from her before he stood straighter. “I know your name,” Merlin said. “But I don’t know what your relation with Arthur is.”

Morgana looked at him for a while before she tossed her head back and laughed. “ _Liar_ ,” she said in a sing song voice. “Liar, liar, liar. You know _exactly_ who I am.”

Merlin licked his lips. “You’re his sister.”

“Close,” Morgana said. “ _Step_ sister.”

Merlin took that information in. Step-sister. But how? Why? Why would she become like this? Why would her name be gone from the tapestry? Why wasn’t she mentioned in the stories and rumours?

“You look cute when you’re confused,” Morgana said. “It’s just too bad I have to kill you.”

“Why do you want to hurt Arthur?” Merlin asked. 

Morgana clicked her tongue. “So, your darling husband hasn’t told you everything, has he?” she asked, almost musing. “That’s a pity.”

Before Merlin could comprehend what was happening, Morgana’s eyes flashed green and Merlin found himself being flung backwards harshly. Landing on the ground with a harsh thud, Merlin groaned as pain flared at the back of his head. 

Morgana walked before she stood in front of him with a cruel smile. 

“I heard you were as strong, even stronger, than your father,” Morgana said. “But you’re taken down by just a simple spell.”

Merlin hissed as he sat up and tried to stand up. When Morgana flashed her green eyes again, his magic was ready and made a shield in front of him to bounce the spell off. Morgana looked slightly impressed as Merlin tried to shake off the blurriness in his vision. That was a really bad fall. 

“You’re not going to hurt him,” Merlin hissed. Morgana grinned.

“Now, we’re getting somewhere,” she said as she raised her hand, rings adjoining her fingers. “Let’s see how powerful you are.”

And that was when someone stumbled into the scene, his blue eyes alarmed. “Merlin?” Arthur said. 

Merlin’s heart thumped once in his chest and his eyes widened. “Arthur, no, get out of here!”

“Arthur!” Morgana said, grinning. “My _dear_ brother!”

Arthur stilled as he looked at Morgana. He looked surprised and then alarmed before he looked angry and betrayed. Shit, Merlin realised that Arthur didn’t even bring a sword with him. What the fuck was he doing here without his weapons?

“ _Morgana_ ,” Arthur said, his voice shaking. His fingers clenched into fists. “How…You were…”

“ _Dead_?” Morgana chortled. “Did you honestly think that _dumb_ old man could have killed me?”

Merlin hissed a spell and aimed it at her, only for her to quickly defend herself. The tree a few feet away from them burst into splinters. Arthur shielded his face from the wood flying everywhere as the tree fell to the ground with a loud thump. 

“I will end you both here,” Morgana said. “But I think I’ll take out the weakest one among the two of you first. Besides, didn’t I tell you, Brother, that I was going to kill you first?”

“Morgana—” Arthur was cut off when Morgana raised her hand and swiped her hand once in the air. Merlin’s eyes flashed gold and his magic flared protectively as he counterattacked Morgana’s magic with his own, sending it flying across the forest to hit another tree. 

Arthur was frozen on spot, his eyes wide even though it was burning in anger. “I will make you regret the day you were born,” Morgana hissed as she raised a hand at Merlin. “And you, fucking sit down and wait until it’s your turn.”

With that, Merlin groaned as he felt this sudden draining feeling covering his body. His magic covered him like a cocoon but he saw the magic strands of green from her melting with his, slowly eating away his own magic. 

She was exhausting his magic. 

Then, she turned her attention to Arthur. 

“Stop, what the hell are you doing to him?” Arthur said as he took a step towards Merlin.

Merlin shook his head, trying to fight away the magic surrounding him. But the more he fought, the weaker he became.

“Oh? I’m just draining his magic,” Morgana said. “Now, let’s see to it that you die.”

“No, no, no,” Merlin murmured, remembering the nightmare of his magic core draining out and cracking into two. He knew this was what was happening and he was damned if he would let that become a reality. He looked at Arthur and realised with horror that if he didn’t do anything, then Morgana was going to kill him. 

“Arthur,” Merlin choked out as he raised his hand. Then Morgana said a spell. A spell that made his blood run cold. A spell that he knew would kill Arthur within seconds. 

This wasn’t a normal killing spell.

It was dark magic. 

And when her magic flared and the green magic started to circle around them like a whirlwind, Merlin knew with a heavy heart that unless he used the only spell that could counterattack the dark spell, Arthur wasn’t going to survive.

So. 

He did. 

With the remainder of his magic before his core completely exhausted, he said, “ _lunctus in aeternum_.”

And he looked at Arthur, pleading that he would understand when this was over. His magic shot towards Arthur and Arthur gasped when it hit him, sending him flying to the ground. And that was when Merlin saw purple sparks of magic from Arthur, circling around him before it mingled with Merlin’s gold colour.

Merlin took in a sharp breath when he felt his magic accepting Arthur’s magic before it settled deep inside of him like an anchor. Arthur looked panicked, in pain, unsure and confused when he slowly sat up, purple magic mixed with the gold as it covered him, shunning Morgana’s green magic. 

“ _servare et custodire_ ,” Merlin whispered the last few words of the spell before he was forced to his knees. He placed his hands on the grass. Morgana had screeched and yelled when she realised what was going on. 

“No,” she yelled as she finally lashed her magic at Arthur. Merlin fell to the ground on his chest as his arms gave out. “No, no, _no_!”

The strong magic that she casted on Arthur was immediately flung right back at her when the purple colour of his magic became bright with the hints of gold creating a barrier between him and Morgana. Morgana was hit with the magic and she went tumbling to the ground with a pained shriek. 

Arthur was stunned, looking dumbfounded as the magic around him, the green vanishing around them with the draining sensation, moved around him. Merlin felt the magic that he was losing slowly seeping back into him, his magic core taking it all back. Merlin struggled to sit up, shaking badly as he saw his magic coming back to him with a happy hum. 

The dark air in the air vanished when Merlin felt good enough to stand up. He swayed as he did, his head hurting. He groaned, bile rising in his throat. He looked at where Morgana’s blood red cloak was and staggered to it. He realised with a sinking feeling when he pulled the cloak off the ground that she had disappeared. 

He turned around, looking at everywhere before he dropped to his knees. 

“W—What…?” Arthur’s shaking voice caught his attention. Merlin looked at him and horror washed into him when he realised what had happened. 

“Oh no,” Merlin breathed. 

Arthur looked at him, straight in the eyes, fear and confusion swirling in them. The purple colour still thrummed around Arthur like it was protecting him. Half of Merlin was amazed that Arthur had purple colour for his magic and it made sense it was purple and the other half of him was feeling sick to his stomach that he had stolen Arthur’s will to make a decision. 

Now, because Merlin had to seek Morgana out, Arthur was pushed into the world of his magic without given time to get used to it. Without him ever agreeing to it in the first place.

“Merlin,” Arthur breathed out, looking close to hyperventilating. “What…What the _fuck_?”

 

* * *

 GLOSSARY (KIND OF): 

_lunctus in aeternum_ : connected forever 

_servare et custodire_ : to save and protect


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.
> 
> A/N: This...now this. This. **THIS**. Hah. HAHA. Anyways, as you can see, I have determined the number of chapters this story is going to have. 11 it is. I have the final two chapters planned and I'm--excited for it. Definitely going to be long two chapters though, so. ;D Also, guys, **GUYS WHAT THE HECK OVER 200+ SUBS FOR THIS STORY?** THANK YOU. Thank you to those who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story a kudos. Please do comment to let me know what you guys think. Don't be shy, I'm nice~  >:D Until next chapter~! -Krystal

 

Merlin continued to stare at Arthur, his mind racing a mile per minute with increasingly disturbing thoughts. His hands began to shake as he stood up, swaying a bit. Arthur had managed to stand up as well, shaking worse than Merlin as he took a few steps towards the prince. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said, his voice straining. “What the hell happened?”

Merlin opened his mouth before he closed it. Arthur looked more and more panicked the longer Merlin wasn’t answering. He raised his hands and dropped them to his sides when his magic sparked. 

“Merlin, please,” Arthur said, his pleading voice sent Merlin moving to touch Arthur. He froze when Arthur flinched from him, his heart sinking to the bottom of his chest. 

“I—I’m sorry,” Merlin whispered. “I…I had to do something.”

“Help me,” Arthur said. “What is wrong with me? What is this?”

“Your magic,” Merlin said. Arthur stilled as he looked at his fingers. 

“My…magic?” Arthur said. “But…you said it was dormant.”

“I…forced it out of you,” Merlin said, deflating when Arthur turned to look at him with wide eyes. 

“You… _what_?” he exclaimed. Merlin winced and took a step back. “Ho—How?”

“I…I bonded us,” Merlin said and closed his eyes tight, waiting for an impact of a fist. But when none came his way, Merlin opened his eyes, startled to see Arthur looking more surprised than angry. 

“You _bonded_ us,” Arthur said, looking weird. He licked his lips and furrowed his eyebrows. 

Merlin sighed before he took a step towards him, noticing that this time Arthur hadn’t flinched away from him. That was a good sign, Merlin thought miserably. 

“Your magic needs to be reigned in,” Merlin said. “Or they’ll get exhausted and you’ll feel tired.”

Arthur took in a deep breath. “How?”

“Just clear your mind and think of your magic seeping back into you,” Merlin explained. Arthur looked confused but he did close his eyes. Merlin watched in wonder as Arthur’s magic quickly began to be reigned in, not even halting in the process. When Arthur opened his eyes, the blue orbs were tinted purple before they disappeared and became pure blue. 

Merlin bit his inner cheek, feeling a swell of pride that Arthur seemed to be a natural at this. 

He tampered that feeling down however when he recalled how he took the choice of Arthur choosing to learn magic away. 

“Okay,” Arthur breathed out. “Okay. I… _Explain_. Explain what the hell _happened_. How—That was _Morgana_. She…what is going on here?”

Okay, now Arthur was mad. 

Merlin licked his lips before he nodded. “I…I’ve been investigating about her.”

Arthur’s eyes flashed in anger. “ _What_?”

“I…,” Merlin began. “I know you didn’t want me to know about her but—she was calling out for me, Arthur. My magic reacted violently when we first met and that set everything off and…”

“ _When_ the hell did you _meet_ her?” Arthur demanded. 

“It wasn’t like I met her in person like today,” Merlin said. “But she would appear in visions. Like a warning.”

Arthur was breathing harshly at this, running his hands through his hair. “ _Why_ the fuck didn’t you tell me any of this?” Arthur said, his eyes full of hurt. “I _thought_ you trusted me.”

Merlin’s heart beat loudly against his chest. “I _do_ trust you,” Merlin whispered. “But—I didn’t…You didn’t even like me reading her journal, Arthur. How was I supposed to talk to you about this? Not when I wasn’t sure if she was real or if she was—I don’t know.”

Arthur looked tense. “ _Why_ was she here?” Arthur asked.

“I don’t know,” Merlin said. “All I know is that she wants to kill you, wants her revenge. What…You didn’t tell me you had a sorcerer for a sister.”

“That’s because she’s _dead_ ,” Arthur bit out. “She was _supposed_ to be _dead_. Uther made sure she…”

“Well, she _isn’t_ ,” Merlin said. Arthur sighed. 

“You said you bonded us,” Arthur said. “What did you mean by that?”

“I…did what you think happened,” Merlin said. “I bonded us. I had no choice, Arthur! She was going to use a dark spell on you and only a bond can prevent such spells from hurting you.”

Arthur looked pained before he said, “When you asked me to bond,” he said, his voice cracking. “Did you mean it because you loved me or because you knew Morgana was going to come?”

Merlin’s throat went dry before he said, “Both.”

Arthur sighed shakily. “You deliberately held the information about Morgana from me,” he said. And then he nodded. “But I didn’t tell you about Morgana either.”

“I’m _sorry_ ,” Merlin said, trying his best not to cry. “I’m sorry, Arthur. I wanted to protect you. I wanted to protect this kingdom. She was going to hurt you and if…if I didn’t investigate this matter, there’s no telling what would have happened.”

Arthur slumped to the ground, crouching down as he ran a hand down his face. “Great,” Arthur mumbled. Merlin took another step towards him before he crouched in front of him. 

“Are you mad at me?” Merlin asked. Arthur huffed his breath. 

“Yeah, a little,” he said. “I…I need time to let all of this sink in.”

Merlin’s heart wretched in his chest as he nodded. Arthur touched his face, smiling tiredly at him. “I still love you,” Merlin breathed out. “I know you might not believe me anymore but I did everything for you, to keep you safe.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said as he caressed his cheek. “I’ve always believed you. I still believe you. I’m just angry that you didn’t tell me about Morgana but this is partly my fault too for not telling you about her. And now, she’s here. And you’re telling me she’s going to attack me soon?”

Merlin relaxed under his words. “Yes,” Merlin said. “Can we…can we go back to the castle first before you ask anymore questions?”

Arthur nodded and stood up. Merlin watched him with careful eyes, making sure that he was alright before he stood up as well. Both were silent as they walked out of the forest. Arthur didn’t even spare a glance at Merlin and the prince didn’t blame him for it. He knew Arthur being upset with him was a possibility. 

They continued to walk in silent until they entered the castle. Merlin then stopped walking, catching Arthur’s attention. He turned to look at him, serious. “What?” Arthur asked. 

“We need to talk about Morgana,” Merlin said. “I need you to tell me what happened to her.”

Arthur’s jaw clenched tight before he gave him a curt nod. “In return,” Arthur said. “You tell me _everything_ that you’ve been doing behind my back.”

Merlin winched at the wording before he gave Arthur a similar nod. Arthur ran a hand through his hair before he pointed at the hallway. “Let’s go to the library.”

Merlin didn’t say anything as he followed Arthur to the library. Once the doors were shut, Arthur began pacing, up and down, looking more and more agitated the longer Merlin stared at him. At last, Merlin sighed and went to sit on the sofa in front of the fireplace. 

“Arthur,” Merlin said. “Come and sit down.”

Arthur stopped with his pacing to look at Merlin before he did just that. He hunched forward, placing his elbows on his knees as he hid his face in his hands. Merlin didn’t touch him, knowing that his touches weren’t welcomed at the moment. It hurt but Merlin didn’t let it show. 

“Arthur,” Merlin said, trying to keep his voice soft. 

“She’s a seer,” Arthur said as he dropped his hands from his face. “She was born with magic. She didn’t choose it.”

Merlin nodded, his throat drying at that information. 

“Father,” Arthur began before he frowned, glaring at the ground. “He didn’t know she was a seer. He didn’t even know she had magic. Morgana didn’t tell him either because she was terrified of his hate for magic. With the ban and everything, Morgana kept it to herself until I found her by accident practising magic in her room.”

Arthur sighed. 

“I kept it a secret,” Arthur said. “She was my sister. I wanted to protect her, so I kept it a secret. But Morgana has never been Uther’s favourite child, not when she was the daughter of his friend who he learned after his death had been siding with Ealdor. At that time, it was too late to not keep Morgana since everyone knew about her being adopted into the family. So he kept her, raised her but made sure she was locked up most of the time in the castle.”

Merlin winced at that. 

“And then,” Arthur said before he stopped. He took a moment to compose himself before he continued, “And then, on my eighteenth birthday, there was an assassination attempt on Father and Morgana, in panic, used magic to stop Father from getting hurt. And while the assassin was captured, Father had also seen Morgana with magic and had grown angry. Morgana tried to plead to him and tell him she was trying to save him and I—”

Merlin scooted closer to Arthur, noticing that his blue eyes were filling up with tears. 

“I defended her,” Arthur said. “But Father became enraged that I did and was convinced that Morgana had me under some kind of a spell. He locked me away while he dragged her to the dungeons for execution. The last time I saw her was her green eyes boring into mine, pleading for help but I couldn’t do anything, I had no power. The day after her execution, I found her journal. The one in charge of her execution gave it to me, told me it was in her hands until the very moment she died. I never read it, instead, I threw it in the library and never looked back.”

“And then I found it,” Merlin said. 

“I know she would be angry at me,” Arthur said. “I just didn’t know she hated me that badly.”

“Arthur, in that journal,” Merlin said. “She’s been hating you for quite some time before she was executed.”

“I guess that’s my fault too,” Arthur said. “I was an annoying brother. I kept teasing her and I would make fun of her magic. And then when Father started to groom me for the throne, I think she thought I was making fun of inability to be an heir. But I don’t think she knew how much I loved her and cared for her.”

Merlin sighed. 

“How did she survive?” Arthur breathed out, looking at me. “ _How_? Everyone saw her being executed.”

“She’s quite a strong sorcerer,” Merlin said. “When I first read her journal, my magic was intimidated by the residue of the magic she left behind. She could have easily used a dark spell or any spell really to alter their perceptions.”

“What now?” Arthur said. 

“She wants to attack Camelot,” Merlin said. “She wants to kill you.”

Arthur thinned his lips. “I guess I better prepare for a battle.” Arthur then groaned. “I really wanted peace.”

Merlin smiled ruefully at that. “I…I’ll help, Arthur,” Merlin said, gaining Arthur’s attention. “You know I will.”

Arthur gave him a weak smile but he didn’t say anything else. Merlin’s smile faltered. 

“I know…,” Merlin began. “That…I…I’m just sorry.”

“I know,” Arthur said before he stood. “I need to let the council know about this.”

Merlin then blinked. “Wait, how did you know I was at the forest?”

Arthur waved a hand around. “I asked around and Matilda said she saw you walking to the forest alone. It made me curious so I followed you.” 

“Oh,” Merlin said, nodding once. 

“I better go,” Arthur said. He opened his mouth to say something else before he shook his head. Without another word or to even hear Merlin’s reply, he walked away. Merlin slumped on the sofa, rubbing his hands down his face. He could feel the thrum of Arthur’s magic pulsing in his chest. It was erratic and confused, angry too.

 

***

 

Merlin couldn’t sleep. His mind was restless. He turned to his side to stare at Arthur, who was sleeping away from him. For the first time since they had been married, Arthur didn’t hold him while they slept. It hurt and Merlin missed him. He quickly realised that he couldn’t sleep without Arthur. He huffed a soft breath, placing a hand on Arthur’s pillow but not daring himself to touch him. 

He scooted closer to him just so he could feel his husband’s warmth even though it wasn’t enough. 

“I really do worry about you, you know,” Merlin whispered to a sleeping Arthur. “I should be afraid that I love you so much so fast but I’m not. You’ll never know this but if the time comes where the choice is between your life and mine, I would give mine away to keep you safe.”

His eyes filled up with tears. He closed his eyes and turned around to look away from Arthur, grasping the edges of his pillow. Tears slid from his eyes down the bridge of his nose before it dropped to his pillow. He took in a shuddering breath, burying his face against the pillow. 

Merlin stilled when he felt a hand touching his waist and a chest plastered against his back. He felt Arthur’s face buried against the nape of his neck. 

“Don’t say that,” Arthur croaked out, his voice filled with sleepiness. “Don’t _say_ things like that.”

“You’re…awake?” Merlin whispered. 

“I couldn’t sleep,” Arthur said. 

“You heard me,” Merlin said. Arthur nuzzled his nose against his neck. 

“I did,” Arthur said. “And don’t say things like that.”

Merlin turned around to look at him. Arthur opened his eyes, his blue orbs staring into his. They were not filled with anger or hurt like it had been hours ago. But they weren’t filled with the warmth that Merlin had been accustomed to either. Merlin bit his wobbling bottom lip as his eyes filled with more tears. Then, he closed his eyes. 

“I would,” Merlin said. “I would do anything to keep you safe. You mean a lot to me. You might think I want a bond with you because of Morgana but the truth is, after a week I married you, I was thinking about bonding with you. Remember the time you showed me the apple tree your Mum planted? That was the day I realised I wanted to bond with you.”

Arthur sighed before he touched Merlin’s face. “I forgive you,” Arthur said. “I forgive you, Merlin. And I’m sorry too, for hiding about her from you.”

“I forgive you,” Merlin said without hesitation.

Merlin opened his eyes, blinking a few times. Arthur’s eyes were filled with warmth and affection and Merlin sighed in choked relief. Arthur smiled at him, wiping the tears away from his face. 

“I really didn’t mean to hurt you,” Merlin whispered. 

“I know, love,” Arthur said, chuckling. “Just…promise me something.”

“Anything,” Merlin said, ready to do whatever Arthur asked of him if it meant he could be with Arthur. Arthur searched his face before he tightened his grip on Merlin’s face, his lips thinning and his eyes becoming serious. 

“No more secrets,” Arthur said. “I know I’m being a hypocrite when I ask you of this, so here’s how I want us to do this. Neither of us should lie to each other from now on. No more secrets. No more lies. Complete honesty.”

“Okay,” Merlin said, easily. “Alright.”

“And that also means,” Arthur said. “You don’t do anymore investigating or tracking Morgana by yourself. I told the council and so, we’ll work together, alright?”

Merlin nodded at him. He took his hand and stopped before he could touch Arthur, feeling insecure. Arthur touched his hand before he brought it down to his face. He brought Merlin’s palm and pressed a kiss against his fingertips. 

“I need to tell you this,” Arthur said. “I need you to know this before it’s too late.”

“What?” Merlin asked. 

Arthur sat up then, tugging Merlin’s hand once. He switched on the bedside lamp. Merlin furrowed his eyebrows, his heart beating loudly against his chest as he watched Arthur taking in a deep breath. 

“Arthur?” Merlin said, feeling nervous. 

“I love you,” Arthur said, at last. He looked at Merlin in the eyes, his eyes brimming with affection. “I’m in love with you. I love you.”

Merlin’s heart stopped beating for a second as he let that settle in his mind. And then, he launched at Arthur. Arthur caught him by the waist and placed one hand on his thigh, dragging him on his lap before they kissed. Merlin grasped his jaw, clutching Arthur’s face firmly in his hands. 

Merlin pulled away from the kiss and hugged him tight.

“You love me,” Merlin breathed out in awe. “You _love_ me.”

“I love you,” Arthur said, laughing. “I love you.”

“Even after I lied…,” Merlin said, feeling guilty. Arthur tucked his nose against the crook Merlin’s neck and shoulder.

“You did it to keep me safe,” Arthur said. “I’ve already forgiven you for that. Don’t feel guilty anymore, love.”

“I love you,” Merlin said. “I love you so much.”

Arthur pushed him away a bit to look at him in the eyes, a fond smile crossed his lips. “And now I can say, I love you too.”

Merlin smiled, his heart lightening from the pain and hurt. He touched Arthur’s chest, realising that Arthur was telling the truth when he felt his magic thrumming happily. “I can feel you, you know,” Merlin said before he pressed a hand against his own chest. “In here.”

“The bond?” Arthur said. “I can’t believe we bonded.”

Merlin looked chastised but Arthur simply shook his head, pecking his lips. “Hey, don’t look like that,” Arthur said. “I was going to say yes anyway.”

Merlin shook his head. “But that doesn’t mean you wanted magic. I took that choice away from you.”

“You saved my life,” Arthur said with an amused breath. “Merlin, love, it’s alright. Besides,” Arthur whispered, bringing Merlin’s hand back on his chest, squeezing his fingers. “I feel this thrum in my chest. I can feel…emotions. It feels intimate and I like it. I could feel emotions like hurt, sadness and guilt and it’s not from me. Is that yours?”

“Y—Yeah,” Merlin said, choking out. “I can feel you too. Does that…bother you?”

“No,” Arthur said. “Merlin, I was angry hours ago but it was because everything happened so fast and I couldn’t think rationally and now that I’m cooled down, I had time to think, I’m not angry at you anymore. I would be a hypocrite if I was because I hid things from you too. I love you. Let’s move past this and focus on keeping Morgana away from here, alright?”

“So, you really do want us to bond?” Merlin had to ask. Arthur touched his bottom lip with his thumb before he gently touched his chin. He brought their noses to brush. 

“Yeah, I do,” Arthur said. Then, he added with a soft laugh, “I’m a wizard like you.”

Something about that made Merlin giggle. Arthur hummed, looking happy. “I feel you,” Arthur whispered. “You feel happy now.”

“Yeah,” Merlin said as he brushed Arthur’s hair from his face. “You need to learn how to use your magic.”

Arthur nodded, frowning a bit. “My magic,” Arthur said. “It’s in purple.”

Merlin beamed at that. “Yeap, yes it is.”

“I can’t remember what’s that supposed to mean,” Arthur said. 

Merlin grinned. “Purple means wisdom and independence. Also, purple is considered the colour of royalty.”

Arthur snorted. “Of course it is,” he said, chuckling. “But wisdom, huh?”

“You’re pretty full of wisdom to me,” Merlin said. 

“Am I?” Arthur said as he fingers lazily rubbed a circle on Merlin’s thigh. 

“At least you’re smarter than any of the other Kings I’ve met,” Merlin said with a shrug. 

“Met a lot of Kings, have you?”Arthur asked, humour in his voice. Merlin rolled his eyes as he shrugged, feeling a bit playful now that he knew Arthur loved him. 

“Maybe,” Merlin said and yelped when Arthur threw him to the side, landing on his back on the mattress. His breath hitched when Arthur leaned down, one hand placed on the bed next to his head, trapping him. 

“Maybe?” Arthur asked, a teasing lit in his tone as he leaned in closer. “I don’t know how I should feel about that.”

Merlin raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”

Arthur then grinned, “Yeah,” Arthur said. “My prince shouldn’t be consorting with other Kings.”

“C— _Consorting_?” Merlin squawked. “How dare you!”

“Ah, then what would you call what you said?” Arthur asked. 

“Socialising,” Merlin said, only realising his mistake when Arthur had a gleam in his eyes. 

“Ah, I see,” Arthur said as he placed a hand on Merlin’s hip, dragging his fingertips up his in a way that sent shivers down Merlin’s spine. His eyes widened when he felt the King’s fingers trailed back down to his sides. A giggle escaped his lips when Arthur pressed his fingers with slight pressure on his sides. 

“No,” Merlin said. “No, Arthur.”

“Hm? You said something?” Arthur said and before Merlin could stop him, Arthur had started to tickle him, holding him down with one hand on his chest and the other pressing on his skin at his sides and any new ticklish spots he found. 

They were both laughing by the end of this childish play when Merlin’s hands managed to find Arthur’s ticklish spots as well. When Arthur let go and slid to the side, landing on the bed while gasping, Merlin wiped his eyes from the tears. 

Merlin turned to look at him, touching his face as he caressed Arthur’s skin. Arthur smiled at him, relaxed. “I love you,” Merlin said. “I can’t believe you’re mine now.”

“I love you too,” Arthur said as he touched Merlin’s hand. “And believe it.”

Merlin scooted closer to his husband only for him to be gathered in Arthur’s arm. He placed his head on his chest and an arm across the King’s waist. Arthur sighed. 

“I never thought I would feel like this for someone,” Merlin said. “I’ve always wanted to.”

“I’ve only ever been in love once,” Arthur murmured as he ran his fingers through the dark hair. “But that didn’t feel like this.”

“Like what?” Merlin asked. 

“Like my whole world is meaningless without you,” Arthur said. “As if my soul feels completed.”

Merlin smiled against his chest. “I feel like that too,” Merlin whispered. 

“Be safe,” Arthur said as he pressed his lips at the top of Merlin’s head. “Because I’m starting to see that I wouldn’t know what to do if you’re suddenly ripped away from me.”

Merlin didn’t say anything, didn’t promise him that but he looked up at Arthur and pressed a kiss on his lips.

 

***

 

The council was frantic. Merlin sat next to Arthur in the meeting, biting his bottom lip as he saw the councilmen arguing with each other. It was almost hilarious to see how panicked they looked if the situation wasn’t as serious. 

“She’s _dead_ , Sire,” Cecil said, his eyes thrumming in frustration and confusion. 

“Are you saying you don’t believe me?” Arthur asked, sounding tired. They had been here for the past hour with no conclusion. Merlin had stood up a few times to stretch his legs while he listened to the argument. Arthur meanwhile hadn’t even opened his mouth since he relied the information, waiting for them to calm down. 

“I do,” Cecil said, immediately. Merlin knew from the get go that Cecil was a nice man. Unlike the rest, he genuinely cared about Camelot and Arthur. Maybe because he was the youngest in the council, not a married forty year old man but instead a late-twenties man who had apparently done impressive revolutionary things that Uther would have exiled him for. “But we’ve witnessed her…you know.”

“I know,” Arthur said, frowning. “But she was there.”

“I saw her too,” Merlin said to Cecil. Cecil hummed, nodding. 

“What if you were enchanted?” Fredrik asked Arthur then, quietening the entire council immediately. Merlin tensed at that. Arthur frowned deeper. 

“What do you mean?” Arthur said. 

Fredrik had a sneer on his face. “What if you’re enchanted to see her? Someone enchanting you?” Fredrik said and from the way he said it, it was obvious that he was taking a jab at Merlin. 

The prince frowned, anger flashing in his eyes. Arthur had grown silent and tense as well and for a fearful second, he wondered if the King was swayed by that lie. But that was put to rest when Arthur growled and said, “If you’re suggesting that Merlin did this, I would be more careful of what my next words will be.”

“Sire!” a scandalised council member said. “We’re just saying. We witnessed her being executed.”

“ _Maybe_ ,” Merlin gritted out. “Maybe _she_ enchanted all of you to think she died.”

“That’s impossible,” Fredrik scoffed.

“She’s a strong sorcerer,” Merlin argued. “She can do it.”

Fredrik looked unhappy that Merlin argued back. 

“That could be it,” Cecil said aloud, agreeing to Merlin. 

“Oh, _come on_ , Cecil,” another council member said. “That’s ridiculous.”

“And why would that be ridiculous?” Cecil demanded. 

“It can happen,” Merlin said as he stood up, stretching his legs. “It’s magic.”

“Of course you would know,” one of them said. 

“Speak with respect for my consort, Sir Umber,” Arthur scolded. 

“Sorry, sire,” Umber said but he didn’t sound sorry. Merlin wondered if maybe Arthur was being too lenient with them. 

“Alright,” Fredrik said. “ _Assuming_ Morgana’s alive, we need to prepare for a possible attack.”

“Right,” Arthur said, sounding relieved now that they were getting somewhere. 

“How do we defend ourselves against Morgana?” one of them said. 

“We have an alliance with Ealdor now,” Cecil reminded them. 

“ _More_ sorcerers?” another said, baffled. Merlin clenched his jaw tight but it didn’t stop him from wanting to throw every single one of them out of a tall building.

“Morgana is _one_ woman,” one of them said. “Why would we need _help_?”

“Morgana is a _powerful_ sorcerer,” Merlin stressed out. “Are you lot not understanding what this means?”

“It means she’s a woman with magic,” one of them sneered. “No matter how powerful she is, she can be defeated easily.”

“Because she’s a _woman_?” Merlin asked, incredulous. He glanced at Arthur with wide eyes. “ _Really_?”

Arthur groaned and rubbed his face. “Enough,” Arthur said. “I’ll write to the Queen of Ealdor and ask help for this matter. If Merlin said she’s powerful, she’s powerful.”

“Why are you blindly following a sorcerer?” Fredrik asked. “Just because he said so?”

Merlin took in a deep breath. “Look,” Merlin said. “ _I’m_ a powerful sorcerer. Not to brag or anything but I’m likely to be more powerful than my father. Even _I_ couldn’t keep Morgana down when we encountered her. Whether your bigotry and pride is going to accept this or not, we need help. And we’re _going_ to get help.”

“B— _Bigotry_?” a man shrieked in offence. 

Merlin licked his lips but stopped himself from saying anything more derogatory when Arthur touched his fingers, an amused sparkle in his eyes. 

“Do contact the Queen,” Cecil said, ignoring the rest of the council members. “It’s the right course of action. Maybe we can even get Gaius’s input on this.”

“Perfect!” Merlin said, nodding at Cecil. “You’re much smarter than all these arses combined,” Merlin muttered low enough for Cecil to hear. Cecil grinned. 

“That’s all we can do for now anyway,” Cecil said. “I propose we don’t let anyone know about this just yet.”

“Right,” Arthur agreed. “We don’t want the public to panic.”

“I think I’ll contact Mum,” Merlin said. “She’ll listen if it’s from me. At least she won’t worry too much yet.”

Arthur paled at that before he huffed his breath. “I hope your Mum doesn’t think I’m trying to endanger you.”

Merlin patted his shoulder with a smile. 

“So, that’s one issue down,” Cecil said, catching everyone’s attention. 

“What’s more?” Arthur asked, furrowing his eyebrows, confused. 

“The issue of your heir, of course,” Fredrik said. He looked very unhappy. “Sire, you cannot avoid talking about this forever.”

Merlin had gone rigid as he stared at Fredrik. 

“No, we’re _not_ going to talk about this,” Arthur snapped. “This has been brought up over and over and _over_ in every single meeting. When I say no, it’s a _no_.”

“Guinevere can bear you heirs!” a council member said. “She was your lover. Why would you not take her back now that she’s no longer exiled?”

“Are you kidding me?” Arthur asked. “Do I look like a cheater to you?”

Merlin felt a bit of satisfaction at seeing the council members cowering at his tone. 

“N—No,” one of them said. “Of course not, Sire! But please, think about this. We need an heir.”

“We can always adopt,” Merlin said, sitting back down. That earned stares on him. 

“That’s _preposterous_!” they said. “Adopting?”

“That’s what same sex couples do, don’t they?” Merlin asked. “Why can’t we?”

“ _We_ do not do _this_ ,” Fredrik said. “Adoption is _not_ an option. Even when Arthur’s mother couldn’t conceive, we have not gone down so low as to _adopt_ a child.”

“No, instead she died,” Arthur said, sighing. “This issue will never be brought up again, understood? I will not be taking any lovers. I’m a husband. And I doubt adopting would be an issue.”

“We need a _royal_ blood as an heir,” one of them insisted. 

“I _don’t_ care what _you_ need,” Arthur said as he stood up, grabbing Merlin’s hand. “What _I_ need is to not look like a husband who would betray his spouse like that just for the sake of an heir.”

“How can you say that? It’s for your kingdom’s benefit!” 

“If everyone loves me just like everyone assumes they do then they would not be upset that the heir is a royal blood or not,” Arthur said. “I would rather have a son or a daughter who can rule with all their heart and kindness than anything else, adopted or not.”

Merlin squeezed Arthur’s hand back, a proud smile threatening to spill on his lips. 

“You’ve already decided who that child is going to be,” one of them said. “Who is it?”

Merlin glanced at Arthur and shook his head. 

“We will tell you once the time comes,” Arthur said. With that, he dismissed the council members and walked out of the room, Merlin following him in silence. “Don’t take what they said to heart. They’re still influenced by Father. I’m actually ready to add in new council members who never had the chance when Father was ruling.”

“That sounds great,” Merlin said. “I’m just happy you didn’t tell them about Andrew.”

“They can be all incompetent when it comes to important things,” Arthur said. “But they also can do damage. They can have hearts as cold as ice. I doubt they would keep quiet if they found out who the boy we’re planning on adopting is.”

“I don’t want them to hurt Andrew,” Merlin said with a sigh. Arthur pulled him closer. 

“They won’t,” Arthur said. Merlin smiled at him. “So, are you really going to be the one to inform your mother about this?”

“Yes,” Merlin said with a nod. “She’ll understand if it came from me. Besides, I think she likes you.”

Arthur hummed. “I like her too,” Arthur said. “I can tell from the brief moment I talked to her that she is a good mother and Queen.”

“She is,” Merlin said. “After Father died, she was burdened with duties and halfway she broke down crying in her room when she thought I wasn’t there. But she pulled herself together after thirty minutes and she went on being the Queen everyone needed her to be. She’s a strong woman.”

“If I had a time machine, I would turn back time and save your Father,” Arthur said. 

Merlin shook his head. “It doesn’t matter now,” Merlin said. 

Arthur didn’t say anything for a while as they walked before he stopped, turning to look at the prince. “When should I start learning my magic?”

Merlin’s eyebrows raised before he chuckled. “Right,” Merlin said. “I’m thinking as soon as possible if you’re serious about it.”

“Of course I’m serious about it,” Arthur said. “Once I’ve accepted I have magic, it’s kind of cool.”

“You sound like a teenager,” Merlin said. Arthur grinned. “Well, alright. I guess we’ll start soon. Maybe tomorrow morning?”

“That sounds agreeable,” Arthur said, nodding once. Merlin leaned in to kiss his cheek before he pulled away. 

“I need to inform Mum now,” Merlin said. 

“I’ll tell Angelo to send the letter as soon as you’re done with it,” Arthur said.

 

***

 

When Merlin had sent the letter off to his mother, his heart was pounding loudly against his chest. He could call his Mum but this was a formal request. This was a formal request for help and it was better if he handled it diplomatically. 

Merlin chewed his bottom lip as he walked down the hallway, wondering briefly what his mother’s reaction was going to be once she read the letter. He made sure he worded his words properly so it didn’t come off as too pleading or too panicky. 

The last thing he needed was his mother to storm into the castle and declare a war if she thought Merlin was being hurt or put in danger. Merlin sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. 

He stumbled backwards when a servant boy crashed into him, hands full of decorations. Merlin managed to grab him by his arms to steady him and hold some of the items before they fell to the floor. 

“Woah,” Merlin said. “Are you alright?”

“Fine, Sire!” the boy said, bowing his head. “I’m so sorry for that.”

“It’s fine,” Merlin said, giving him a smile as he handed the items back to the boy. “What’s going on?”

“Oh, we’re going to be having an auction tomorrow night,” the boy said. “We’re preparing for that.”

“Oh,” Merlin said, nodding. He let the boy go and watched as the boy scurried away. Merlin frowned. 

There was going to be an auction held in the castle tomorrow night? 

Merlin continued to walk until he found Arthur at the training grounds, talking to his knights. The knights had worried looks on their faces. Lancelot had a grip on Arthur’s arm, looking at him up and down as if he was assessing him. Worried too, Merlin walked to where they were, touching Arthur’s arm to catch his attention. 

“Hey,” Arthur said, turning to look at him with a smile. 

“Merlin, is that true?” Gwaine asked. “ _She’s_ back?”

Merlin glanced at Arthur before he nodded. “Yeah, she is.”

“ _Shite_ ,” Percival breathed out. 

“I’ve contacted Ealdor,” Merlin said. “Hopefully Mother will aid us.”

“This is bad,” Gwaine said with a sigh. “The last thing we need is Morgana in this mess.”

“We’ll just have to try our best to defend Camelot from her in secret,” Arthur said. “The public shouldn’t know about this. Not yet. Not when we just got peace.”

“What do you need us to do?” Lancelot asked as he pulled his hand away.

“Nothing yet. As for now, resume like normal. Just increase the patrol time and have more shifts for patrolling slot in the schedule,” Arthur said. 

“Right,” Gwaine said, nodding. 

Merlin agreed too. That was all they could do for now. 

“I’m going to go now,” Arthur said, wiping the back of his neck to show how sweaty he was. “I want to grab a shower.”

With that said, Arthur walked away from them, Merlin following him. 

“We have an auction going on tomorrow night?” Merlin asked. Arthur glanced at him before he pursed his lips in thought. 

“Oh yeah,” Arthur said. “We do.”

“Huh,” Merlin said. 

“What?” Arthur said, noticing the contemplative look on the prince’s face.

“It’s just,” Merlin said with a sigh. “I’m wondering if having a public event after what happened yesterday is a good idea or not.”

Arthur didn’t say anything for a while. “I know,” Arthur said, his voice quiet. “But if we don’t want the public to get suspicious, we have to proceed with plans like everything is normal.”

Merlin conceded with that. Arthur touched his shoulder before squeezing. 

“We’ll be fine,” Arthur said. “Or at least, we will be once I increase the security tomorrow night.”

Merlin chuckled, feeling the grip in his chest loosening a bit. “And I’ll keep a lookout if anything’s off,” Merlin said. Arthur nodded before he touched the back of Merlin’s neck. 

“Don’t do anything rash,” Arthur said. Merlin looked at him before he nudged Arthur’s rib. 

“And you, don’t attend the event empty handed,” Merlin said. “At least bring a pocket knife with you.”

Arthur laughed, amused. “I will,” Arthur said he pressed his lips against Merlin’s temple.

 

***

 

Merlin blinked when Arthur’s magic twitched and died right in front of them. Arthur stared at his fingers, blinking himself, a frown on his face. 

“Well,” Arthur said, sounding confused. “I thought you said my magic isn’t dormant anymore?”

“It…isn’t,” Merlin said, feeling as confused as Arthur. He touched Arthur’s hands and touched his palm. The magic was still thrumming underneath his fingertips, so there shouldn’t be any problem with Arthur at least projecting his magic. “I think it’s mostly because you’re not skilled at projecting, that’s all.”

“Oh,” Arthur said. “Well, how do I get that skill?”

“You just,” Merlin said as he took in a deep breath and looked at Arthur in his eyes. “You just feel.”

“Feel?” Arthur said as his frown deepened. He looked at his fingers before he pulled them away from Merlin’s touch. “How do I feel _this_?”

Merlin hummed before he took a step back. “Watch,” he said as he took in another deep breath. “Your magic is a part of you. You just need to let it in everything you do, trust that it will be there for you when things go wrong. You have to treat it with upmost trust and in return, it’ll learn how to trust you.”

Arthur nodded but he looked even more confused. Merlin smiled at that before he shook his head. 

He closed his eyes and raised his hands to his sides before he focused on an emotion he was feeling the most. That was love.

“Find an emotion you feel the strongest at the moment and let your magic respond to it,” Merlin said and just like that, his magic flowed out his fingertips before it swirled around him, humming in a pleasant song. Merlin opened his eyes and saw how his magic floated and danced peacefully. 

When Merlin made eye contact with Arthur, his magic started to move towards him before it caressed Arthur’s face and boxed them in the spiral. Arthur looked back at Merlin, his eyes wide and filled with warmth. And then, he smiled, taking a step towards Merlin. 

Arthur touched his face and leaned down to kiss him. Merlin grasped his hands and kissed him back, his magic humming louder around them. When Arthur pulled away, he looked happy. 

“What’s the strongest emotion you’re feeling?” Merlin whispered. 

“Love,” Arthur whispered back and Merlin’s heart raced in his chest. He pulled Arthur’s hands from his face and cradled it in his palms. Merlin smiled, his cheeks reddening. 

“Then let your magic love,” Merlin said. “Let your magic love mine just like you love me.”

“You make it sound easy,” Arthur said. 

“It _is_ easy,” Merlin said with a wider, amused smile. “It’s the first thing a child of magic learns from where I come from.”

“That’s great,” Arthur said. “I’m doing worse than a child.”

That earned a laugh from Merlin, causing Arthur to grin. 

“Have I told you I love your laugh?” Arthur said. Merlin licked his lips, chuckling.

“No,” Merlin said. “But now that you have and have I told you that I love your eyes? I think that’s the first thing I ever noticed about you. How blue your eyes are.”

“And yours is like ice,” Arthur said. “The prettiest blue ice.”

And that was when Merlin touched Arthur’s face before he dragged him to kiss him again. “Just feel me,” Merlin whispered before he kissed Arthur. Arthur kissed him back, an arm wrapping around Merlin’s waist while the other cradled his jaw. Merlin felt him going dizzy from the kiss and how much love he could feel from the bond. His body shivered when he felt his mouth being pried open by Arthur tongue. 

He grasped on Arthur’s face tighter before he dragged a hand through his hair, feeling his soft strands of hair. From somewhere back in his mind, he recognises his magic meeting another, dancing in a way that made him want to feel Arthur even more. When he pulled away, his eyes widened when he saw the purple magic mixing with his gold, beautifully colouring the morning blue sky. 

Arthur pressed his forehead against his before he opened his eyes. Then, he pulled away to look around him, his eyes widening and his breath hitching. 

“That’s,” Arthur began. “That’s my magic.”

“We’re compatible, you know,” Merlin breathed out, mesmerised by how fond their magic seemed with each other. “I think they’re in love too.”

Arthur looked at Merlin. “They are, huh?” he asked.

Merlin looked back at him, smiling. “They are,” Merlin said. 

Arthur took a step back, reaching a hand to touch his magic, grinning when his magic twirled around his hand, vining. 

When Merlin touched Arthur’s hand, his gold magic embraced the purple tendrils, making their hands look tied with the gold and purple strands. 

“You did it,” Merlin said. “You just need to feel.”

“Do I have to kiss you every time I want to do this?” Arthur asked, cheekily. 

“That would be a bit hard when you’re fighting an enemy,” Merlin said. Arthur chuckled. 

“Our magic is beautiful together,” Arthur said. Merlin hummed, happy as he placed his forehead against Arthur’s shoulder, their fingers interlacing. “Like us.”

Merlin’s face burned as he wrapped an arm around Arthur’s chest, hugging him. “Yeah,” Merlin agreed.

 

***

 

The auction had too many people. It was the repeat of the ball and Merlin found himself stuck talking to a stuck up man with a title that he really didn’t care to remember. He didn’t even have a chance to sip any alcohol, mostly to prevent himself from getting buzzed. He kept a close eye on his husband, who was a few feet away from him entertaining another noble man that again, Merlin honestly didn’t care about. 

“My Prince,” the man said. Merlin nodded at him, wondering what he was talking about. “I’ve been meaning to ask.”

“Ask away,” Merlin said, his fingers twitching as he swirled his glass of champagne that he had not taken a sip out of since he had it. 

“Would you perhaps give a word to the King about visiting my establishment?” the man said, a cocky smirk on his face. “I believe it would be beneficial to my business and I’m sure he would love some of the business opportunities.”

“Right,” Merlin said with a polite smile. “I’ll rely it to him.” _Kind of_ , Merlin added in his head. With a bow, the man walked away, looking like he was the most important person in the room.

Merlin snorted and gave in the urge to take a sip of his champagne. He sighed. 

He decided to join Arthur, touching his elbow to make his presence know. Arthur looked at him before he smiled. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said as he placed a hand on the small of his back. “Let me introduce you to Lord Hable.”

“Hello,” Merlin said with another sickening polite smile. Lord Hable simply nodded at him. 

“My Prince,” he said. “I’m glad you could make it to my auction. I would also like to thank you again, My King for letting me to use this hall for my auction.”

“What is it you’re auctioning anyway?” Merlin asked.

“Antiques,” Hable said with a smile. 

“Ah,” Merlin said, a bit interested. “Anything I might be interested in?”

Hable looked taken aback at that. Arthur looked amused. “Perhaps,” Lord Hable said before he sighed. “Not.”

“Oh,” Merlin said, nodding once. “Well, that’s too bad.”

“Yes, it is,” Lord Hable said. “If you two would excuse me.”

“Of course,” Arthur said as he let the man go. Just after he walked away, Merlin rolled his eyes.

“He obviously dislikes me,” Merlin said, bitterly. “I fucking hate all of them.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said with a crack of a smile. “Come on, let’s grab you something to drink.”

“I have champagne,” Merlin said. 

“You’re not drinking it though,” Arthur said. “You’ve only sipped it once since you had it.”

“Keeping an eye on me, are you?” Merlin teased, his mood lifting immediately. Arthur pressed a kiss on his forehead. 

“Always,” Arthur promised. “Maybe we can get you something else.”

“Ah, I don’t want to bother the kitchen staff,” Merlin said.

“I think they won’t mind,” Arthur assured as he halted a servant boy acting as a waiter tonight. “Would you mind asking for a fruit juice or something for Merlin?”

“Of course!” the boy said, grinning. “Coming right up!”

“Thank you,” Merlin said as he gave the boy the glass of champagne.

“I’ll be right back, Sire,” the boy said as he trotted away out of the hall. 

“How are you feeling?” Arthur asked as he brushed a strand of hair from Merlin’s face.

Merlin knocked Arthur’s chest with his knuckles. “Feel,” he said. Arthur touched Merlin’s hand before he hummed.

“Tell me,” Arthur said.

Merlin smiled. “Overwhelmed slightly,” he admitted. “There’s just so many people coming up to me asking me to ask you for favours and I’m starting to get sick of it.”

“Ah, yes,” Arthur said. “Feel free to ignore them if you like.”

“I can’t,” Merlin said. “It’ll give you a bad name, it’ll give me a bad name.”

Arthur touched his face before he furrowed his eyebrows. “You don’t have to push yourself to meet their standards,” Arthur said. “I would never ask you to do that.”

“I know,” Merlin said. “Still, that doesn’t make any difference when I’m in a crowd of people who does nothing but judge.”

Arthur sighed but Merlin knew he understood when his fingers grazed down his cheek in a comforting manner. 

“Sire,” the boy came back with a glass of what seemed to be orange juice. “Here.”

“Thank you,” Merlin said with a kind smile as he took the glass, sipping it. “Did you bring something to defend yourself?”

Arthur chuckled, nodding when Merlin glared at him. “Love, I’ve got security and some of my best knights covering every inch of the place,” Arthur assured.

“Arthur, I swear to God,” Merlin began and Arthur pecked his lips to calm him down. “Please stay safe.”

“I will,” Arthur said, his voice soft and his eyes serious. “I am.”

Merlin nodded as he sipped more of his orange juice. “I just don’t want anything to happen to you, that’s all.”

“It won’t,” Arthur said. 

“You don’t know that,” Merlin said, worrying his bottom lip. Arthur didn’t say anything to that but when Merlin looked at him in the eyes, he saw how fond Arthur looked at him. 

“You’re precious,” Arthur whispered at him. Merlin blushed, shaking his head. 

“Is that your way to placate me from lecturing you?” Merlin asked. Arthur laughed, causing Merlin to laugh a bit as well. 

“Is it working?” Arthur joked. 

Just as Merlin was about to retort, someone came up to them and said, “Sire! The auction is going to start soon and you need to give a speech to start the auction off.”

“Ah, alright,” Arthur said before he looked at Merlin. “I’ll be back in a minute.” He kissed Merlin’s forehead before he followed the man. Merlin sighed as he wandered to the table where there were food and refreshments placed on it. He leaned against the table as he continued to drink his orange juice. 

He scanned the crowd, bored out of his skull when he thought he saw a pair of familiar eyes. He straightened himself and scanned the crowd again, his eyes tracking each and every face but he couldn’t find him again. Merlin frowned. 

Had he imagined him?

Merlin rubbed the back of his neck, wondering if his paranoia was acting up. 

Arthur’s voice then echoed through the speakers, his speech long and boring. Merlin bit his bottom lip from frowning deeper. His legs started to ache from standing too long. 

It didn’t that long for Arthur to finish his speech. Everyone clapped and Merlin clapped too, mostly out of boredom. When Arthur finally found him, Merlin didn’t hesitate to hug him tight. Arthur laughed as he hugged him back. 

“I didn’t think you’d miss me already,” Arthur said. Merlin pulled back, letting his hands to loop around his husband’s neck. 

“I did miss you,” Merlin said. “But I’m also terribly bored now.”

“Don’t you want to watch the auction?” Arthur asked. “You seemed to be interested in it.”

“I was,” Merlin said. “Before Lord Harry or whatever his name was ruined it for me.”

Arthur knew he was joking from the way his eyes sparkled. “You’re lovely,” Arthur said. 

“What’s with you and compliments today?” Merlin asked, raising his eyebrows. 

Arthur blinked. “I’ve always complimented you,” Arthur said. Merlin hummed, squinting his eyes at him. 

“It seems being in love makes you sappier than you already are,” Merlin said with a faux dreading sigh. That earned him a pinch on his hip that managed to elicit a sharp squeal from the prince. Merlin slapped a hand across his own mouth, eyes wide as he stared at Arthur in disbelief. He looked around then and noticed that no one heard him before he brought his hand back on Arthur’s shoulder, glaring.

Arthur, meanwhile, was biting his bottom lip from grinning. 

“Why do I even love you?” Merlin said in disgust. 

“Love,” Arthur coddled. “You were just begging for that.”

Merlin sniffed and looked away, closing his eyes when he felt Arthur hugging him again. “If this is your way of asking forgiveness, it’s not working,” Merlin said. 

What Arthur did next almost made Merlin drop his empty glass to the floor in surprise. He felt Arthur’s hand gliding down his back before it landed on his arse. Arthur then did the least Kingly thing he could possibly do in a room full of people—he _squeezed_ Merlin’s _arse_. 

Merlin immediately pushed him away, his face all red. He placed his empty glass on the table as he touched his backside, almost like protecting himself from those hands. 

“ _You_ ,” Merlin started, speechless. “You _squeezed_ my—my…”

“You were being too cute,” Arthur whined but there was a sparkle of mischief in his eyes that showed he wasn’t sorry for what he did. “Why? Didn’t you like it?”

“You _pervert_!” Merlin hissed, lowering his voice. “In a room full of people?”

“It’s not like they were paying any attention to us!” Arthur said. “Besides, your trousers aren’t really deterring me from looking at your arse, you know.”

Merlin couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Arthur, dear,” Merlin said as he dropped his hands to his sides. “Don’t make me call you a bad dog.”

Arthur raised his eyebrows, looking more and more devilish with each word out of Merlin’s mouth. “Kitten,” Arthur said, leaning in close as he took a step forward. “Have I told you, you look really ravishing tonight?”

Merlin almost snorted at the word ‘ravishing’ because what was this? The medieval days? But he squeaked instead when Arthur grabbed his waist and dragged him close. “Arthur, bad dog!” Merlin chastised though he was almost smiling from the fluster in his stomach. 

Arthur cracked a grin and they both ended up chuckling at this silliness. 

“I’m actually a bit hungry,” Arthur said with a fond sigh. He held out his hand for Merlin to take to which the prince stared at it with suspicion. “Love, I won’t touch you inappropriately again for tonight.”

Merlin placed his hand on Arthur before he asked almost innocently, “Not even when we’re alone?”

Arthur stilled, his cheeks pinking before he coughed. “Don’t try me,” he whispered in Merlin’s ear when he pulled Merlin closer. Merlin flushed a bit, clearing his throat as they both looked at the table of food. 

“Take your pick,” Merlin said as he waved his hand at the multiple choices of food. 

“Don’t you want anything to eat?” Arthur asked as he took a biscuit to munch on. 

“I’m not really hungry,” Merlin said. Arthur bit half of the biscuit before he handed the other half to Merlin, who took it without fuss and shoved it in his own mouth. “Those tastes good.”

“They do,” Arthur said, taking another biscuit of a different variety, once again eating half of it before giving Merlin the other half. 

“You’re feeding me,” Merlin pointed out as he ate the other half of the biscuit as well. Arthur flashed him a smile and took a sandwich, ate half of it before he held it out for Merlin to eat. Merlin sighed but he indulged Arthur and ate the sandwich as well, pecking Arthur’s cheek once he was done. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Arthur said. Merlin glanced over Arthur’s shoulder when he thought he saw a flash of something. He frowned before he looked away, shrugging off the thought. He wondered briefly if he should cast a detection spell to see if it really was who he thought he saw. 

“What’s wrong?” Arthur asked, becoming tense, no doubt would have picked up on Merlin’s sudden uneasiness. Merlin licked his lips as he furrowed his eyebrows. 

“I…I’m not sure but something doesn’t feel right,” Merlin whispered to Arthur, looking at the table of food. “I thought…I thought I saw someone but…”

“Who?” Arthur asked. 

“It’s just,” Merlin said. “I thought I saw Cenred.”

Arthur became tenser as he turned to look at the crowd, searching each and every face before he looked back at Merlin. “I don’t see him but I think I’ll inform the guards to keep an eye out for him.”

“Yeah, do that,” Merlin said, letting Arthur go to Lancelot who was in charge of the security tonight to tell him about it. Merlin turned his back from the food before he took in a deep breath, searching the crowd again. And that was when his magic flared suddenly. Merlin turned around abruptly to look at the table but there was no one there. 

He frowned. 

“I told him,” Arthur said when he came back. Merlin nodded at him distractedly. Arthur touched his shoulder, shaking him a bit. “You feel erratic. What’s wrong?”

If Merlin hadn’t been distracted, he would be amazed at how quickly Arthur was adapting to their bond. However, a second later, he realised with clarity just what was wrong. 

A scream echoed through the hall and everyone turned to look at the table where a man lied on the ground, mouth foaming white as his body twitched violently. Plates crashed to the floor as the shrimps splayed on the ground all over. Arthur and Merlin rushed to the man. Thankfully there was a doctor among the crowd and bustled over to kneel next to him. 

The man continued to spasm, making Merlin ill. 

“He’s _poisoned_ , fuck,” the doctor said. Merlin’s blood ran cold. “We need to get him to the hospital.”

“Go,” Arthur said as he called over two of his knights. Merlin took a step back as they rushed to carry the man out of the hall, the doctor following them close by. Merlin quickly looked at the table and casted a detection spell. 

What he saw made him tremble. Almost all the food here were poisoned. 

It was only the biscuits and sandwiches left not poisoned, either because the person who poisoned them didn’t think anyone would eat them or he or she didn’t have time to poison them. Either way, what he saw made him sick to the pit of his stomach. 

“All of them are poisoned,” Merlin breathed out. Arthur snapped his head to look at him, eyes wide. 

“What?” he asked.

“All of these are poisoned, Arthur!” Merlin exclaimed at him, grabbing Arthur by the hem of his suit jacket, pulling him away from the table like it would keep him safe from it. Arthur grew pale at that. 

“Guards,” Arthur hollered. “The foods are all poisoned.”

“Arthur,” Merlin said as he looked at his husband. He touched Arthur’s face, searching his eyes before he shook his head. “Oh God…someone was trying to poison us.”

Arthur took in a sharp breath. “Who?” Arthur demanded, starting to sound frustrated. Merlin casted another spell throughout the hall but he couldn’t find anyone who wielded magic like him. But when Merlin turned to look at the bustling confused and panicked crowd, he saw a flash of someone disappearing out of the room.

Merlin pushed Arthur aside as he made his way out of the crowd, chasing after the man who was likely the suspect. 

“Merlin!” Arthur called after him but he sent a wave of assurance through their bond and continued to follow the man. 

He stopped when the man stopped in the middle of the quiet hallway and when the man turned around, Merlin’s eyes widened. 

“ _Cenred_ ,” Merlin said. 

Cenred smirked, a flash of green in his eyes. “Take this as a warning from Lady Morgana,” Cenred said with a bow. “You should’ve just accepted my offer when you had the chance. Too bad I have to kill you too now.”

Before Merlin could do anything to catch him, Cenred vanished in sparks of green. Merlin’s magic bubbled in his body, the way it usually got when he was confronted with Morgana’s magic. A hand grabbed his elbow, turning him around to meet stormy blue eyes.

“What the—”

“It was Cenred,” Merlin blurted out as he pulled his elbow away. “Arthur, it’s Cenred. He’s working with Morgana.”

“Fuck,” Arthur said as he took a step back. “Fuck, okay, go back to our room. Stay there—”

“No,” Merlin said as he grabbed Arthur by the collar of his jacket. “I’m not leaving you.”

Arthur licked his lips before he nodded and grabbed his hand, walking back to the commotion filled hall. 

“It’s Cenred,” he told Gwaine when he saw him. “Find him. Send your team to go after him. I want him.”

Gwaine thinned his lips as his eyes flashed. He nodded and went to gather his team to go after Cenred. Merlin’s trembling fingers curled into a fist as he took in a deep breath. 

“We ate the food,” Merlin whispered. “When I casted a detection spell, the only two food that weren’t poisoned were the biscuits and sandwiches. Arthur…we could have been _poisoned_.”

Arthur looked troubled as he furrowed his eyebrows. “Do you…Could my kitchen staff be involved in this?”

“They could be,” Merlin said as he shuddered. “But I don’t think they did. I think this was Cenred’s doing. I felt someone staring at me and when you left to tell Lancelot, I felt like someone was near the tables. I thought nothing of it but now…”

“Love,” Arthur said as he gathered Merlin to hug him tight. 

“I could have lost you,” Merlin said, voice choking in his throat as his eyes filled with tears. “I didn’t think to even check the food. I could have lost you.”

“I could have lost you too,” Arthur said as he ran his fingers through the dark hair. “I could have lost you too, love. God, when I get my hands on that bastard.”

“Cenred’s working for Morgana,” Merlin said, burying his face into Arthur’s shoulder, hugging him tight. “I can’t believe I let you get close to danger again.”

Arthur huffed his breath. “I promised to keep you safe too,” Arthur whispered in his ear. “I’ll find him, I swear.”

“We have to defeat Morgana,” Merlin said as he pulled away. Arthur touched his cheek, wiping away a stray tear. 

“We don’t even know where she is,” Arthur said. 

“She’ll come to us,” Merlin said. “I can feel her getting powerful, Arthur. I feel like it’s going to happen soon.”

Arthur stiffened, his jaw clenching tight. “Then, I really need your mother’s help.”

Merlin nodded. “I’ll give her a call now,” Merlin said. But Arthur simply gathered him against him again. 

“Stay for a minute,” Arthur said. “Let me hold you.”

Merlin didn’t argue with him when he felt Arthur shaking a bit too.

 

***

 

Cenred was never captured but that didn’t stop Arthur from keeping his knights on the lookout for him.

Gaius came to Camelot a day after Merlin called his mother. Hunith had been angry and then furious the more Merlin told her about what happened. She sent the best sorcerers there was in Ealdor with Gaius when he arrived. 

Merlin hugged Gaius before introducing Arthur to him. 

“Meet Sir Balthazar,” Gaius said as he introduced to a man in his late thirties with pale grey eyes. His eyes flashed red before he nodded at Arthur. 

“Sire,” Balthazar said as he shook Arthur’s hand. Arthur nodded. 

“I’m thankful Queen Hunith has sent you to our aid,” Arthur said. 

“I trust her judgement that you are a worthy alliance,” Balthazar said as he looked at Merlin. Merlin gave him a tentative smile. “It is an honour to serve you.”

“Please,” Arthur said. “Let me introduce you to my knights.”

Balthazar nodded. 

“I’ll need to speak to Merlin, Sire,” Gaius said, bowing his head. Arthur nodded. With a pat on my shoulder, he started talking to Balthazar as they both disappeared down the corridor. Gaius then grabbed his arm and hauled him into the first empty room they found. 

“Your mother is angry that Arthur hid information about Morgana,” Gaius said. “How are we to trust the King if he had lied about this?”

“It’s not his fault,” Merlin said. “He thought his sister was dead.”

Gaius frowned. 

“Besides, it’s a bit too late now, isn’t it?” Merlin said. “She’s going to start attacking soon and we need all the help we can get.”

“Hunith has agreed to help in return, Merlin,” Gaius said. “She wants you back.”

Merlin’s heart stopped beating in his chest. “What do you mean?”

“That’s her only condition,” Gaius said. “She wants you to come back to Ealdor. End your marriage with Arthur under the terms that he hid vital information that could jeopardise the peace of both kingdoms.”

“She can’t do that!” Merlin said, his palms growing cold and clammy. “Gaius, please.”

“I’m sorry, Merlin,” Gaius said with a sigh. “I’ll have to present this option to Arthur tonight.”

Merlin took a step back before he rushed past him to the nearest phone. He didn’t hesitate to call the castle, his Mum patched through after a few minutes.

“Merlin,” his mother said but Merlin cut her off.

“You can’t do that,” Merlin said. “You can’t do that, Mum!”

“Merlin,” she said with a sigh. “I…He _promised_ to keep you safe. You are _not_ safe there. You are an heir to Ealdor and you are my _son_. I am _not_ comfortable of you staying there being married to a _liar_ —”

“He thought she was _dead_!” Merlin exclaimed, his eyes filling up with tears. “Please, don’t do this to me.”

“Love,” his Mum said, her voice soft. “I thought you would be happy to end this.”

“I love him,” Merlin said. “I love him, Mum. He’s been nothing but kind and caring and—and we bonded, Mum.”

“Merlin!” his mother yelled. 

“We _bonded_ ,” Merlin said. “So, don’t… _don’t_ do this to me.”

“How…How is it possible?” she asked, confused. 

“He…,” Merlin said before he took in a deep breath. “He has magic, Mum.”

She remained quiet for a while before she said, “ _Explain_.” It was said in such a sharp tone that it sent shivers down Merlin’s spine. 

With sweat starting to form on his temples, he told his mother of what he learned about Arthur and how they bonded. The Queen of Ealdor remained silent before she sighed, a groan echoing her sigh. She sounded tired. 

“Give the phone to Gaius,” his mother said. 

“Mum, please—”

“ _Gaius_ , Merlin,” his mum said. Merlin took in a deep breath and handed the phone to Gaius. 

He watched as Gaius nodded a few times before he placed the phone handle on its body. Merlin looked at Gaius for a while, raising his eyebrows. 

“Arthur is conceived through black magic,” Gaius said, rubbing the temple of his nose. “And you bonded with him.”

“Yes,” Merlin said. 

“According to Ealdor laws,” Gaius said. “Once a couple is bonded, it isn’t possible for them to be divorced, hence why we don’t take bonding lightly.”

“It’s not done carelessly, Gaius,” Merlin argued. 

“Your mother is still not happy with this,” Gaius said. “But she will let you be married to Arthur for a little while longer.”

“W—What do you mean by that?” Merlin asked, a lump forming in his throat. Gaius touched his shoulder and looked at him in the eyes. 

“She is adamant you come back, Merlin,” Gaius said. “She’s not taking a no to this, not even if you’re bonded to him.”

“I…,” Merlin began but Gaius shook his head.

“You can try to change her mind after this,” Gaius said. “Don’t think much about this. Right now, it’s important we figure out a way to defeat Morgana.”

“How can I not think about this?” Merlin exclaimed, rubbing a hand down his face. “I’m going to get separated from my husband because of one mistake.”

“Let’s go,” Gaius said as he gently touched Merlin’s elbow. “We need to find the King and talk more about this.”

Merlin just knew Arthur wasn’t going to be happy about this.

 

***

 

Arthur had grown pale when Gaius laid out the terms. 

“That’s…bullshit,” Arthur said, slamming a hand on the table. Merlin winced as he sat next to Arthur. “You’re asking me to divorce him for exchange of help?”

“She is not very happy with you,” Gaius said, his voice monotonous. “You have endangered her only son, her only heir to the throne, Sire. You cannot expect this to end favourably.”

“I,” Arthur said. “I know but I would never intentionally danger him like that. He’s my husband, for God’s sakes.”

“I’m sorry,” Gaius said. “These are the terms.”

“But…does she know that we’re bonded?” Arthur asked.

“She knows about how you are a child born out of magic as well,” Gaius said as he nodded at Merlin. “Merlin explained to her but that persuaded her to have even more reasons to take her son back.”

“We signed a treaty,” Arthur deadpanned. 

“You have promised us once that if there is no marriage, it will not affect the alliance,” Gaius said. “Are you saying you’re going back your word?”

Arthur frowned. “Of course not,” Arthur said. “But…I…How can she expect me to just give him back? He’s not an item. I—He’s my _husband_. I love him, Gaius.”

Gaius’s eyes widened before they dimmed. “I’m sorry, my Majesty,” he said. 

Arthur thinned his lips. 

Merlin sighed and touched Arthur’s hand under the table. “Let’s…let’s discuss this later,” Merlin said. “Let’s talk about how to deal with Morgana first.”

Arthur squeezed his hand tight as he nodded, looking tense and unhappy and Merlin could feel how upset he was. But there was nothing they could say right now, not when Gaius wasn’t the one who they should convince. 

So, they discussed of what they needed to do. Balthazar would be helping assimilating his sorcerers with Arthur’s knights, get them accustomed to attacks that would be moulded with magic. 

And then, they discussed of how they would protect the kingdom, strategise. 

And while all of that was great and all, Merlin couldn’t help but to feel his heart sinking in his chest. 

When Gaius bid them good night and the royal couple have retired to their room, everything was awkward and filled with tension. 

“I can’t believe your mother!” Arthur growled out as he took off his boots and ran his fingers through his hair. “I can’t believe she would ask you to come back.”

Merlin didn’t say anything. He marched up to Arthur and touched his shoulder, turning him around to look at him fiercely in his eyes. “I’m not leaving,” Merlin said. “She can come here and become big bad Queen all she wants, I’m…I’m _not_ leaving.”

Arthur sighed as he cupped Merlin’s cheeks, dragging him close. “I don’t want you to leave,” Arthur said. “Not when I just found you.”

“Don’t make me leave,” Merlin said as his eyes filled with tears. “Don’t make me go.”

“I won’t, love,” Arthur said as he gently pushed Merlin against a wall. He tilted Merlin’s face until their lips could meet. “Not on my watch.”

Merlin kissed him back, pressing his hand against Arthur’s back. 

“I love you,” Merlin said, almost trying to get Arthur to believe him. Arthur kissed him again. 

“I love you too,” Arthur said. “I love you too. I’ll fight for you.”

They hugged each other, not leaving each other’s embrace until they fell asleep wrapped together.

And by next morning, Merlin woke up to people screaming and a huge earth-shattering blast. Arthur was already out of bed, his clothes from yesterday crumpled when the door to the room burst opened, Lancelot rushing inside with his face red.

“It’s _her_ , Arthur,” Lancelot said. “She’s attacking us. She has an _army_.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!
> 
> A/N: This. This. THIS. OH MY GOD. MY SHOULDER MUSCLES EFFIN LOCKED UP WHILE WRITING THIS CHAPTER. Agh. The pain. I hope it's worth it, hah. I suck at writing fighting scenes, just to be warned. Also, there's a warning for this chapter so. Here's another long chapter~ There's only one last chapter, guys! I hope you guys like this. Thank you to those who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story a kudos! Let me know what you guys thought and until next chapter~! -Krystal
> 
> Warning: Graphic-ish-sort-of descriptions of violence and gore (again, kind of).

 

 

Arthur rushed out of the room, following Lancelot. Merlin scrambled after him, eyes wide. His magic flared in his fingertips as he felt the air. He stiffened when he heard another loud bang. 

“She’s attacking?” Arthur demanded. 

“I don’t know how she’s doing this but some of the rooms in the castle are being blown off,” Lancelot said, worry leaking in his words. Merlin stopped walking when he felt the sizzle in the air. Arthur stopped too, turning to look at Merlin.

“You feel that?” Merlin asked. Arthur nodded, paling. “She’s in here.”

“Fuck,” Arthur said. “Get Balthazar, get everyone, gather around at the training grounds in five, now.”

Lancelot didn’t hesitate to do what Arthur said, running off to find them. Arthur took a step towards Merlin, his fingers shook. “How did she get in the castle?”

“She has magic, Arthur,” Merlin said, feeling uneasy. “I need to go see Gaius. You need to go.”

“Careful,” Arthur said. With a touch on his arm, Arthur rushed off to the training grounds. Merlin took in a deep breath, wincing when he heard another loud bang, probably another room being blown up. 

Merlin found Gaius easily since the man was looking for him as well. Merlin touched his arm. “She’s here,” Merlin said. “She got into the castle.”

Gaius thinned his lips. “Let’s find Arthur.”

“Damn it,” Merlin said. “I didn’t think she would attack so soon.”

“We will have to do our best to take her down,” Gaius said as they rushed to the training grounds. The knights and sorcerers were preparing for the fight, the sky looked darker than usual and the air was heavy. Merlin swallowed a lump that formed in his throat, looking around the place, taking in everything. 

Merlin watched as Arthur dispatched some of his knights all over the castle, trying to enclose her inside the castle. 

“Does the public know what’s going on?” Merlin heard Arthur ask Balthazar. 

“No, there hasn’t been any disruptions outside of the castle,” Balthazar said. “ _Yet_.”

Merlin frowned, ice forming in his veins at that. Arthur sighed, running a hand through his hair. Another loudbang took everyone by surprise. It sounded closer. Merlin turned to look and it turned out that the room that got blown off was close indeed. Right in front of them, on the second floor, they could see smoke and debris flying out of the windows, the glasses shattering. 

Arthur’s jaw clenched. 

“We should dispatch now,” Balthazar said. His eyes flashed red, his magic crackling in the air. 

“Right,” Arthur said, nodding. With that cue, the rest of the guards and sorcerers dispersed. Arthur looked at Merlin and sighed. 

“We have to track her down,” Arthur said. 

“Has anyone casted a detection spell?” Merlin asked. Arthur nodded, scratching the back of his neck. 

“She’s cloaking it seems,” Arthur said. Merlin frowned. 

“She’s taking this castle apart,” Merlin said when he heard another loud bang. 

“We need to find her,” Arthur said.

“We will,” Merlin said, touching his elbow. “As for now, we need to devise plans and I have to contact Mum about how dangerous things have gotten.”

Before Merlin could even complete the rest of his thoughts, screams were heard and that was when they saw some of the servant boys and girls rushing out of the castle, their face pale and shaking. 

“What the—”

Merlin cut himself off when he felt this sudden oppressiveness in the air. The sky darkened a bit more and wind started to howl from nowhere. Temperature started to drop and Merlin’s magic crackled. 

“What’s happening?” Arthur asked as he tensed. Merlin didn’t know how to answer that. So, he didn’t, instead, he kept an eye out for something—anything. 

And that was when he felt it. 

“We have to go,” Merlin hissed as he pushed past Gaius and rushed back into the castle. “Stay with them, Gaius.”

“Merlin!” Arthur said as he chased after the prince. He grabbed Merlin’s elbow but he didn’t halt him. “What’s going on?”

“I feel my magic being called,” Merlin said he slowed down his jog, taking in a deep breath before he stopped. Arthur stopped next to him, both pair of eyes stared right ahead where there were rocks on the floor, holes in the walls and wooden doors broke apart into pieces. The hall windows were broken, the glasses on the floor. 

The hallway began to darken and Merlin saw sparkles of magic, floating in air, sparkling in green like a taunt. 

“Do you see that?” Merlin asked. 

“I do,” Arthur said, his voice low. Then they heard swords clanking outside and spells being screamed and yelled out. “There really is an army!”

Merlin opened his mouth but stopped when he saw a flash of cloaks turning towards where they were. “I think that’s them!” Merlin said as he grabbed Arthur’s wrist and pulled him closer to him. Arthur stilled and just like Merlin said, it was them. When the two men hidden under dark blue cloaks noticed them, there was a flash of green and Merlin’s magic immediately swirled around them forming a barrier when a room behind them blew apart into pieces.

“Run!” Merlin ushered Arthur through the specks and clouds of dust as they ran out of there. 

“Fuck, I need my sword,” Arthur said. 

Merlin thinned his lips. “Right,” Merlin agreed. 

“I kept a spare in our bedroom,” Arthur said. Merlin blinked at that, surprised. 

“Wait, you keep swords in our _bedroom_?” Merlin asked, following Arthur as they jogged down the hallway to get to their bedroom. Thankfully, they hadn’t come across any of those blue-cloaked men. Maybe they hadn’t scouted this area yet but Merlin knew it would be soon. 

They both walked into the bedroom, Merlin closing the door behind them with a soft click. Without hesitation, he placed a spell to warn him if any of those blue-cloaked person were nearby. Arthur crouched and pulled a crate from under their bed. Merlin looked at him, baffled. 

“For emergencies,” Arthur said to answer his question. He opened the crate and pulled out a sword. He looked at Merlin then. He scanned him before he shook his head and kicked the crate back under the bed. “I think you don't need any weapons.”

“Hey,” Merlin protested but when Arthur levelled him with a look, he conceded he wouldn’t be able to wield a sword anyway. “Wait.”

Arthur turned to look at him, stilling when Merlin touched his chest and casted a spell over him. Arthur shuddered, taking in a sharp gasp. 

“What did you do?” Arthur asked. 

“A protection charm,” Merlin said. “You’re not protected. No armour, no shields. This will be just as good.”

Arthur grinned. “Thanks,” Arthur said. Merlin gave him a grin before he stiffened. His magic trembled and he turned to look at the door. 

“Someone’s here,” Merlin said. Arthur nodded as he stood straight next to him. A spell was at the tip of his tongue and when the door burst open and two blue-cloaked men walked inside with green sparks surrounding them, Merlin didn’t hesitate to cast the spell meanwhile Arthur swung his sword around when one of them got too close. 

“Where did you come from?” Merlin asked with gritted teeth after he casted a strong spell that caused one of the blue-cloaked men to fly across the room and hit the wall with a loud thump. They slid down to the ground, unconscious. The other one, distracted, went down as well when Arthur swung the butt of his sword against his head. 

Arthur kneeled and pulled the blue cloak over the man’s face, frowning. 

“I don’t recognise them,” Arthur said. Merlin walked to where he was and took a look at them. 

“I don’t either,” Merlin said. They both quickly left the room afterwards. 

There were more men who wore blue cloaks, running around, blowing everything up. And when they passed by a clearing, Arthur stopped at the sight of his knights fighting against the hostile magic wielders. Arthur took a step towards them, only to be stopped by Merlin’s touch on his arm. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said, looking at the prince. “I can’t just do _nothing_.”

Merlin shook his head and tried to pull Arthur away but the King wasn’t budging. “You’ll get hurt, Arthur,” Merlin hissed. 

“I need to help!” Arthur said. 

Merlin opened his mouth to argue when one of the enemies saw them. Merlin immediately pushed Arthur aside when the man casted a spell at the King. The spell missed them just by a fraction of an inch. Suddenly, Arthurbecame the target. The knights and Ealdor sorcerers quickly try to diffuse the situation while Merlin tugged Arthur away.

“Come on!” Merlin yelled as he continued to pull Arthur. 

Arthur stumbled on his feet, his sword swinging around carelessly to dodge one of the hostile sorcerers, following Merlin. 

“I shouldn’t be running around _hiding_ ,” Arthur spat out in frustration once they hid in a small narrow corridor between doors. Merlin glanced at him before he shook his head.

“You do know that the reason they’re even in the castle is to find you and _kill_ you, right?” Merlin asked. 

“But these are _my_ knights out there,” Arthur said. “I’m not supposed to be _running away_.”

Merlin glanced at the corridor before he turned to look at Arthur. “I’d rather you be safe and a coward than you being brave and end up _dead_.”

Arthur rolled his eyes, dangling his sword between his fingers. “I’m not totally helpless, you know.”

“You are,” Merlin said, his gold eyes flashing. Arthur frowned. “We’re up against magic wielders, Arthur. And just because you have magic, it doesn’t mean anything if you can’t use it.”

Arthur’s eyes flashed in anger. “What are you trying to say? I’m basically going to be sitting duck?”

“Yes,” Merlin said before he sighed. “Look, I need you to be safe, Arthur. I want to keep you safe and alive.”

Arthur licked his lips before his eyes softened. “I know.”

“Good,” Merlin said, giving him a smile. “I just…I need you to hide.”

Arthur’s eyes went blank. “ _No_ ,” he said. 

“Arthur,” Merlin began but Arthur shook his head.

“And what are _you_ going to do?” Arthur demanded.

“I’ll,” Merlin said. “I’ll fight Morgana.”

“And I _hide_ ,” Arthur said, incredulously. “ _No_.”

Merlin took a step towards him, his eyes wide, searching his husband’s face. There was a stubborn look on his handsome face that Merlin knew would be hard to argue with. Merlin nodded. “Fine,” he said.

Arthur nodded. “Good,” Arthur said. “I’m not a coward.”

Merlin didn’t say anything to that. Arthur touched his face. “I’ll be fine,” Arthur assured.

“Yeah,” Merlin said. Arthur will be fine. Merlin would make sure of it. Merlin touched Arthur’s hand, squeezing his fingers before he pulled it away from his face. “Come on, we have to get going.”

“Where are we going?” Arthur asked as Merlin walked out of the corridor, letting his magic to scout the place. When he deemed that those men weren’t anywhere near them, they began walking. 

“I don’t know,” Merlin said, honestly. “But her magic always calls out to me. She’s not actively calling me yet but I can still feel her.”

“And you think you know where we’re going?” Arthur asked. 

“Yeah,” Merlin said, glancing at Arthur. “I think so.”

Arthur looked away from him. They continued to walk, stumbling across a few of those men who Merlin quickly disposed of with a flick of his fingers. It bothered Merlin that the men weren’t that powerful. They didn’t have any combat skills since Arthur took them out with just one hit. 

“Something doesn’t feel right,” Merlin said. “Why are they so weak? Even their magic isn’t that powerful.”

Arthur frowned, a worried look crossed his face. “They can’t fight back properly either.”

“She’s planning something else,” Merlin said, running a hand through his hair. “And why would she focus her attack in the castle?”

“I don’t know,” Arthur said. “But I’m questioning that too. This is a weird tactic.”

Merlin hummed as they continued to walk past the bodies of unconscious men. When they reached one of the halls of the castle, the air began to still. Merlin stiffened when he felt Morgana’s magic starting to thicken here. Arthur took in a sharp breath when there was a flutter of wind. 

The hall was empty but them. The light that filtered through the windows seemed too bright, too still. 

“Oh no,” Merlin breathed out, recognising this atmosphere. He had been in this state once when he saw a room where the Pendragon tapestry was. Arthur took a defensive stance, raising his sword. 

And the doors banged open, walking in ten gold-cloaked men, their hoods covering their faces. Merlin pressed his back against Arthur’s as the men circled them, their magic crackled around them in gold. Merlin’s heart stuttered to a stop when he saw Cenred among the gold-cloaked men. 

He took a step towards them, breaking himself from the circle. He pushed the hood back, revealing his face. Cenred had a cocky smirk on his face. 

“Well,” Cenred said. “We meet again.”

“ _Cenred_ ,” Arthur growled. 

“Arthur,” Cenred said. “Merlin.”

Merlin looked at him closely, noting that his eyes were tinged in green. Somehow, Morgana’s magic was flowing through him. Merlin knew he wasn’t a magic wielder though. But Morgana found a way to borrow her magic to him. 

“You’re _not_ a sorcerer,” Merlin said. Cenred’s eyes flashed green. 

“No, I’m not,” Cenred agreed. “Surprised?”

“How?” Merlin asked. Cenred tutted as he took another step towards them. 

“Now, now,” Cenred said. “If you want your answers, you need to give me something in return.”

Merlin scowled. 

“No, thanks,” Arthur said. “You’re going to end up caught, anyway.”

Cenred laughed, tossing his head back. Merlin’s magic bubbled in irritation. 

“Ah, don’t make me laugh,” Cenred said, cutting his laugh abruptly with a creepy smile. Cenred raised a hand before he sighed. “It’s such a pity that you didn’t take my offer. I’m sure we would have had a good time together.”

“If you fucking _touch_ him,” Arthur started but Cenred rolled his eyes.

“Ah, shut up,” Cenred said. “It’s time you learned your place, Arthur. Pendragons are meant to be nothing more than dusts. You’ll see.”

With that, Cenred’s eyes flashed green again and he dropped his hand. That sent the golden-cloaked men to charge at them, their mouths chanting spells and started fighting. Merlin’s eyes lost track of Cenred when one man managed to get close enough to grab his wrist. When Merlin looked at the man’s eyes, his magic bubbled to the surface when he recognised the spell the man spoke. 

Merlin twisted his wrist from the grasp and let his magic loose. His magic flared around and whatever spells that came into Merlin’s mind, it reacted with it. The men were more skilled than the blue-cloaked men, in fact, they seemed to be stronger, faster, more powerful. 

Arthur had kicked one away before punching another in the face. He wasn’t using his sword, maybe because he thought it wasn’t fair to use one while the his enemy didn’t have a weapon to defend himself. 

“What are you doing?” Merlin said as he was pulled and tossed away from Arthur by a spark of golden that wasn’t his. “Use your fucking sword.”

Arthur didn’t acknowledge him but he did what Merlin said. 

“Fuck no,” Merlin said as he raised his right hand to make a shield in front of him when a spell was thrown at him. His shield actually took a strong hit. It made him stagger a few feet back. 

His magic managed to catch the other man that tried to sneak up on Arthur. There were purple sparks mixed with his gold when one spell tried to hit Arthur. Arthur groaned but he glanced at Merlin as a sign that he was fine, even if he was going to be sore. 

Another kick.

Another punch.

Another spell.

Another shield. 

And their bond flared. Arthur’s magic became more and more agitated the more Merlin’s magic was becoming desperate. 

And when Merlin managed to defeat two of the men surrounding him, he went to help Arthur, who was suddenly thrown to the ground by a spell strong enough. 

“Arthur!” Merlin said, eyes flashing gold as he tried to keep Arthur’s shield up. He was yanked backwards by a hand on the back of his shirt. He was turned around and a hand gripped his throat tight. 

“Die, little prince,” the man said. Merlin touched his wrist and sent a bolt of magic strong enough to burn his hand. The man screamed and pushed Merlin away, only for the prince to be turned and punched. Merlin fell on the ground. He managed to stop his head from hitting the floor with his hands but his face hurt. 

Merlin’s magic managed to cast a shield when he felt a strong sensation of spell casted over him. Some residue of the magic still managed to slip through his shield and it burned.

Fuck, the magic _burned_.

When Merlin looked at where Arthur was, the blond was up on his feet but his magic was too weak to protect him properly and Merlin could feel his own magic exhausting. There were just too many of them. 

Merlin scrambled to his feet and took in a deep breath. 

He then casted a spell strong enough to hit at least more than two opponents. It was a strong enough spell that caused at least two men to become unconscious while three more screamed in pain, too late on shielding themselves. 

But it drained most of his magic and he knew that Arthur’s magic shield would be failing without his help. When Arthur got hit by another spell, Arthur groaned louder in pain, a sign that this time, the spell hit him. 

“Arthur,” Merlin breathed out, his body starting to ache. 

And then he felt a hand wrapping tight around his arm, dragging him backwards.

“Well, look here,” Cenred’s voice said, sharp and filled with malice in his ear. Merlin tried to turn but he was the tight grip on his arm wouldn’t let him. Morgana’s magic ran through his and suddenly he could feel his magic core becoming restricted. Merlin screamed at the sudden pain that shot down his body like acid.

That caught Arthur’s attention and when he looked at Merlin’s way, the rest of the gold-cloaked men managed to circle him and grab him by the arms. The sword clanked on the ground. 

“N—No,” Merlin whispered. 

“Do it,” Cenred said. And that resulted on one man to touch Arthur’s forehead. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said, his blue eyes wide and filled with fear. “No, no, what the fuck—”

“Now,” Cenred said and Merlin watched in horror as a spark of gold touched Arthur and he immediately went limp in their arms. 

“Let go,” Merlin started to struggle but Cenred grabbed his other arm. 

“Be good and maybe I’ll spare you,” Cenred whispered against him. “Say goodbye to your King now. This might be the last time you’ll see him.”

“No, I’ll kill you if anything happens to him!” Merlin said, his magic sparking in anger.

Cenred laughed and suddenly, something touched his head and his magic got cut off from him. Merlin’s entire body became limp and his mind shut down. Everything went black.

 

***

 

When Merlin woke up, he was in the cells. He was lying sprawled on the cold ground. He groaned as he sat up, his mind blank. Pain thrummed at the back of his head like a pulse. Just constant. 

His throat felt parched and his body ached. 

He rubbed a hand down his face. He blinked a few times, feeling sluggish. 

“What…?” Merlin breathed out. 

The momentary confusion melted when what happened crashed into his mind, each moment flickering to the next like a movie reel. His eyes widened and he scrambled to sit up, turning to look at his surroundings properly. His fingers itched and he felt… _empty_. 

It was a disorientating feeling. He touched his neck and felt nothing. 

He walked to the bars, touching it, hissing at how cold it was. Where was he? 

And that was when he heard footsteps walking towards his cell.

Cenred emerged from the shadows sans the cloak. 

“Ah, you’re awake,” Cenred said, grinning. “Did you have a good nap?”

“ _You_ ,” Merlin snarled, grasping the poles tight. “Where am I?”

“You don’t even recognise the dungeons of your castle?” Cenred asked, sounding amused. 

“Let me go,” Merlin said. 

“Ah, no can do, sorry,” Cenred said with a shrug. Merlin growled. 

“Let me go!” Merlin yelled, his voice echoed. The air became tense, dense. And that was when he realised something was really wrong. “What…?”

“Oh, you noticed that have you?” Cenred asked. 

“My…magic,” Merlin said. “What the fuck…”

“It’s just a simple spell,” Cenred said. “How do you feel being a weak Human?”

Merlin snapped his eyes at Cenred, feeling ice in his veins. He took a step back, his fingers slipping past the poles as he looked at them. He…he couldn’t feel his magic.

He couldn’t _feel_ them. 

He felt empty because he couldn’t feel his magic. 

“What did you fucking _do_?” Merlin said. 

“A block,” Cenred explained. “It’s to keep your magic sealed. It’s a strong spell. A simple but a strong one.”

“You will die,” Merlin hissed, clenching his fingers tight. He couldn’t even feel the bond because his magic was sealed. 

Merlin’s mind was whirling, his senses were confused. He was swaying a bit, the pain becoming worse. 

“Please, keep threatening me,” Cenred said. “Just when I thought I’ll keep you alive.”

Merlin growled. “When I get out of here, you’ll be the first casualty.”

There was something primal in him that he disliked starting to claw its way out. With his magic being sealed, he felt violent. And what more he knew Arthur was in danger, he was angry. Unstable. He hated everything. All of him was screaming to get to Arthur, to get his magic back, his mind was spilt into two. 

Without his magic, his sanity was biding time. 

“You can try,” Cenred sneered, his eyes flashed green and Merlin screamed when he felt the magic sliding on his body like a hot iron. Merlin went to his knees, placing his hands on the ground to take in sharp breaths, black dots covering his eyes. The pain was almost unbearable. 

“You won’t be able to contain my magic for too long,” Merlin gasped out. “I’ll explode.”

Cenred grinned. “Have a nice solitude,” he said. Merlin growled as he placed his forehead against the floor and then pushed himself to sit down. His breath came in short pants. His heart beat too fast in his chest. He closed his eyes and searched for the bond he knew he wouldn’t find. 

His fingers clenched into fists. He was so angry. 

He was so desperate.

He promised, he fucking _promised_ he wouldn’t let Arthur get hurt and there was no way, with magic or not, senile or not, would he break his promise. He blinked a few times, taking in deep breaths once the pain started to subside. He took in another deep breath, closing his eyes again, searching in himself to find his magic core. 

It was so calm, so cold. So _dormant_. Merlin could feel his magic banging against the shields but it wasn’t able to get out. Merlin snapped open his eyes, standing up to look at the bars. He needed to get out. He had to. 

How?

He slumped at the corner of the room, unable to find a way out. He ran his fingers through his hair over and over, his body twitching with each passing minute. There was something burning underneath his skin. A part of his mind was searching for something to latch on, preferably the magic side of him. 

But since his magic side of his mind was sealed away tightly, it was floating in his head. 

They said that a sorcerer without his magic core was next to useless. Wouldn’t be living any longer. They would grow insane, dangerous, feral. Merlin had grown up with tales of a sorcerer who survived after his magic core was damaged so badly his magic died after a battle and the sorcerer ended up going crazy. 

A violent insanity. 

And Merlin, as someone who wielded so much power, once his magic was sealed, he could only imagine how soon it would take for part of his mind to trick his body into thinking he lost his magic and put him on overdrive. He was already feeling the symptoms, especially when his bonded was in danger and his bond felt non-existent. 

Oh God, Merlin realised.

The bond would have felt like it was _broken_.

_Arthur_.

Arthur was going to be in so much _pain_.

That was what they wanted. 

_No, no, no_.

Merlin grabbed his head as the pain in his head increased into a loud hum. 

_Stop_.

_Arthur_.

“Merlin?” a voice said, causing him to look up at the cell. Gaius was wearing a dark cloak, his hands shook as he touched the bars. Merlin scrambled towards him, standing up to look at him, his eyes wide as his heart kept racing. 

“G—Gaius,” Merlin choked out. “Get me out of here. Get me _out_! I _need_ to get out, Gaius. Arthur, they have Arthur and my magic’s fucking _blocked_ and Gaius—”

“Shh,” Gaius said, eyes wide as he placed a finger on his lips. “Calm down, boy. I’ll get you out. I managed to knick the keys.”

Merlin could have laughed but his body felt really hot and he was restless. His fingers twitched and his mind was a mess. 

“Open, open it then, fucking _hurry up_ ,” Merlin said, snarling at the end, irritation suddenly flaring in his mind. Gaius didn’t even say anything about Merlin’s erratic behaviour, instead, he opened the cell and let Merlin out. The prince immediately pushed Gaius away and started his march out, only to be stopped by Gaius. Merlin turned around and glared at him. “Why are you—”

Gaius touched his face and his eyes flashed in grey. Something warm washed over him and Merlin blinked a few times, the mess in his head, the irritation died away. The itching burn underneath his skin dulled. The pain was pushed to the back of his mind. 

Merlin took in a shuddering breath as his eyes widened, this time in horror when he could think straight. 

“Oh God, Gaius,” Merlin breathed out. 

Gaius stared in his eyes before he nodded curtly once. He grabbed Merlin’s wrist before he pulled the prince away from the dungeons. “We have to get you to a room and I’ll see if I can lift the spell.”

“Sorry,” Merlin said. “I—”

“Merlin, it’s fine,” Gaius said. “Let’s just go before they realise you’ve escaped.”

“Arthur, what about Arthur?” Merlin asked.

“I don’t know,” Gaius said, glancing at him. Merlin took in a sharp breath. Gaius shook his head. “Right now, your magic has to be unblocked. Or else you can’t save Arthur.”

“I feel like I’m going crazy already,” Merlin said. “Arthur will be in so much pain. The bond will feel like it’s been broken.”

“That’s what they want,” Gaius said. “To make Arthur suffer.”

 

***

 

Gaius frowned as he looked at Merlin. Merlin felt his skin itching again as he paced the room, starting to feel agitated and angry. He scratched his arm with his fingernails, taking in deep breaths. His mind screamed at him to get out of there, to find Arthur, just find him. 

Find him. Get his magic. Find him. Get his magic. 

He wanted his fucking magic and husband back.

And he felt this murderous rage burning in his chest. He would _kill_ anyone who would stay in his way.

He was startled when Gaius touched his shoulder.

“I’m—Gaius,” Merlin said. “I’m already slipping, Gaius. I can feel them fighting in my head.”

“I know,” Gaius said. “You’re a powerful sorcerer. It’s going to affect you sooner than anyone else.”

“Then, fucking _help me_!” Merlin shouted, pushing Gaius away, rubbing his face. “Sorry, sorry, Gaius. I—I can’t fucking _think_. I just want to see him and get my magic back.”

Gaius touched his arm and before Merlin could lash at him, Gaius casted a spell that made Merlin calm down. Merlin took in shuddering breaths. 

“She casted a strong binding spell,” Gaius said. “I’m suspecting she used a dark magic spell.”

“Oh God no,” Merlin breathed out, horrified. “What spell is it?”

Gaius rubbed a hand over his mouth. “The only dark spell strong enough to bind and make a bond break—or give it that illusion of a bond breaking—especially against a strong sorcerer is the _Frango_ spell.”

“How do you remove the block?” Merlin asked.

Gaius frowned. “As far as I’m concerned,” Gaius said. “You should be able to break it if you concentrated on your magic being freed.”

“I _can’t_ ,” Merlin said, shaking his head. “They’re sealed in tight. They’re trying to get out but the bind isn’t breaking.”

Gaius’s frown deepened. “To break a bind on your core, it usually takes a strong emotional reaction.”

“Right now all I feel is pissed off,” Merlin said. “I can’t—Gaius, I have to go. I need to find Arthur.”

“Merlin,” Gaius began.

Merlin shook his head as he started to walk out of the room. “Stay inside. I’ll—I’ll find a way to find Arthur.”

“You’re powerless,” Gaius said. “How are you going to defend yourself?”

Merlin looked around the room they were in and found some weapons lying about at the corner. He hurried to them and grabbed a sword. 

“This will do for now,” Merlin said. “Gaius, I have to go. Arthur…Arthur could be in a lot of pain and danger and—I _promised_ to keep him safe, Gaius.”

Gaius opened his mouth but Merlin had already opened the door. “Stay here,” Merlin said. Gaius grabbed Merlin’s arm before he sighed.

“I saw Cenred walking to the throne room on my way to free you,” Gaius said. Merlin smiled at him before he nodded. “Be careful.”

“I’ll…I’ll be fine,” Merlin said. He didn’t give Gaius any time to reply as he dashed out of the room and down the hallway, the sword hanging heavily in his hands, foreign and weird. The brief calmness started to disappear and his mind once again began to become uneasy and messy.

 

***

 

By the time Merlin had walked close to where the throne room was supposed to be, his mind was chaotic. His skin felt itchy and hot. His fingers gripped the sword tight before loosening them and then gripping it tight again and again. 

He was angry and frustrated, tired and upset. He couldn't think rationally and his sanity was quickly slipping away. He felt so empty and he hated it. He hated how he felt. 

He wanted to crush anyone and anything standing in his way. 

Merlin touched the wall, taking in a sharp breath when there was a huge wave of pain crashing his head. 

He bit his bottom lip until it bled to stop himself from groaning or screaming. He plastered his back against the wall when he heard footsteps and whispers. He grasped the sword with both hands, ready to swing it if they ever turned to this hallway. His mind whirled and his vision constantly blurred and sharpened. 

“Oi!” a man said and Merlin knew he was spotted. 

But instead of running away, he ended up pushing himself from the wall and without hesitation, he swung the sword at the man. Caught off guard, the man’s arm sliced open and he screamed, taking a few staggering steps back. That caught the attention of several other men. 

Merlin’s skin burned now. The part of him that clawed for his magic became angrier and angrier the longer it didn’t have an outlet, his magic, to show how he felt. 

He snarled at them, his eyes sharp and deadly. 

It was a blur then. He found himself subconsciously dodging the spells while getting close to them enough to hurt them. 

_Swish_!

_Swish_!

_Swish_!

The sound the sword made when it was swung sent a cruel thrill down his spine and when the sword met flesh with a wet slap, it made him grin. He felt his sanity slipping away the more blood was shed. 

More men kept coming until everyone was yelling and screaming. Merlin didn’t know how he was dodging the spells and when it did get him, he didn’t feel pain.

Maybe because his head was already in a lot of pain, either way, it only made him angrier.

There was only one word blaring in his head loud and clear and that was: _Kill_. 

And then he felt someone grabbing his neck with force, turning him around before the hand touched his neck. But Merlin grinned, dark and furious, as he swung the sword and the man screamed as his hand cut off. Blood splattered all over the place. It drenched Merlin’s shirt but he didn’t care. He kicked the man and watched him suffer on the ground before he turned to look at the rest of them. 

They were fighting again.

Swords cutting.

Some gone unconscious because Merlin kicked them too hard or they lost too much blood.

If he had been saner, he would have been horrified at the fact he was hurting people. 

But he _wasn’t_ sane.

All he wanted was this to end. 

He wanted his magic back.

He wanted Arthur back.

That was all it mattered.

There was a thin string hanging in his mind and it was only matter of time before it snapped and he would go full blown violently insane. 

“Fucking die,” Merlin growled as he plunged his sword through the last man’s stomach. The man gurgled as blood pooled his mouth and when Merlin pulled the sword away from his stomach, the man fell with a flop. Merlin stomped away, covered in blood and scratched, his icy blue eyes icier than usual. 

The sword dragged on the floor, making sharp metallic scrapes. 

That was when he spotted Cenred, coming out of a room, eyes furious and a snarl on his face.

Merlin grinned. 

Cenred had to die painfully. 

A saner part of him flickered at this sudden grotesque image of how he would dismember Cenred starting from his head. But just as fast it flickered, it was gone when Cenred charged at him, his green eyes bright and mocking Merlin for his lack of magic. 

Merlin dodged it, his mind becoming more and more loud with commands he would never have if he had his magic. 

“I gave you an opportunity to stay alive and yet you’ve chosen this path,” Cenred said. “Fine then.”

He casted a strong spell. Merlin was thrown backwards as he hit the ground, his mind blanking a split second before he found himself sitting up. Cenred casted another spell. And another. And _another_. 

Each blow made Merlin’s body hurt, ache and each blow only made him angrier. 

When Cenred hit him with the strongest spell of all, Merlin screamed. This time, it hurt. It overpowered the pain in his head. 

Cenred was in front of him now. Merlin felt the ache in body intensifying until he couldn’t move. Cenred straddled him before he placed a hand over his throat. 

“I liked you,” Cenred said. “Maybe not genuinely, but I liked your body. I thought of the things I’d like to do to you once you’re in my bed. I was going to keep you alive for that but I decided I don’t need it. You’ll just be a pain. And I have no tolerance for that.”

He arranged his fingers and tightened them, choking the prince. Merlin struggled as Cenred tightened his throat a bit more. 

Merlin could feel his vision fading and black spots appearing in front of him. 

He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t take in air. The grip made him gag and he opened his mouth, desperately trying to push him away. His hands worked weakly against the assailant until his right fingers grasped the bloodied sword. It was lying on his chest between Cenred and him. 

“I’ll,” Merlin gasped. “Kill. You.”

Cenred laughed. “No, Merlin. I’ll kill _you_. And I’ll kill everyone here. I’ll even kill Morgana once I get what I want from her. And then—I’ll kill Arthur and burn your corpses in front of everyone to serve as a reminder when I’m King of Camelot.”

The grip tightened a bit more and Merlin’s heart was slowing down from the lack of air. 

He was going to die.

“And when I become King, I’ll attack Ealdor and capture that woman who’s your mother and kill her too,” Cenred said. “Just like I did to her son.”

“Don’t…talk…a-about…,” Merlin gasped. “ _Her_!”

That was when Cenred’s eyes widened and there was a distinct sound of something wet being pierced with something sharp. The hand on his throat loosened and Merlin, with the remaining energy, shoved the sword deeper into Cenred’s stomach, watching with cruel satisfaction as blood began to seep his shirt. Cenred looked at his stomach, his fingers touching the sword being pierced through him. 

“I told you I’ll kill you,” Merlin rasped as he pushed Cenred off him and staggered to stand. Then, he pulled the sword away. Cenred gasped, eyes wide as he stared at Merlin. The green tinge in his eyes were fading. 

“Y—You,” Cenred started. 

“Goodbye, Cenred,” Merlin said and without hesitation, plunged the sword directly where Cenred’s heart was. Cenred died, spluttering in his pooling blood. Merlin pulled his sword away and took a few steps back.

And then he fell to his knees, his sword clattering next to him as his head hurt, his throat hurt, his body ached. That was when he felt tears in his eyes. He felt no remorse for what he had done and yet his body shook like he was in shock. 

He was covered in blood.

The sane part of him was horrified at what he had done. When he looked at every body on the ground, he could only feel numbness. 

He took in shuddering breaths, touching his chest. He closed his eyes as tears began to run down his face. 

He rubbed his face over and over to wipe away the tears but he couldn’t stop them. 

Merlin knew that he needed to get his magic back. He needed to get stable again. This sudden bind was making him insane and he was only got to get progressively worse. 

He stood up, trembling. He left the sword where it was and continued to walk to the throne room. The doors flung open and Merlin’s breath hitched when he saw sparks of green. 

Merlin took in a deep breath and walked in.

 

***

 

Morgana was there, sitting on the throne with a smile on her face. The entire room was surrounded by the cloak men. Merlin shuddered as he looked at her, feeling naked without his magic. 

“So,” she said, drawling. She stood up and waved a hand, the doors of the throne room closed shut. Merlin jumped, turning to look at the closed door before he looked back at her. “You finally came. Took you long enough.”

Merlin frowned.

“I’m a seer,” Morgana said. “I knew you were coming.”

“Unblock my magic,” Merlin said, his voice still raspy from getting choked. “Now.”

Morgana smirked. 

“And what makes you think you can demand me…anything?” she said, her voice sweet as poison. She waved her hand around. “You’re surrounded by the best sorcerers in all Five Lands. Your knights and sorcerers fighting against them outside and being defeated.”

“Where’s Arthur?” Merlin asked.

Morgana’s smirk widened. 

“Arthur?” she asked, almost innocently. “Oh, you mean that dumb blond that was once my brother.”

“Where is he?” Merlin asked, his body feeling hypersensitive. 

Morgana climbed down the stairs, each step she took was screaming of power and dominance. And if Merlin had been born as a human who wielded no magic, he would have cowered. Alas, he wasn’t because his sanity was hanging by a thread and he felt no fear. 

Just angry. Upset. Frustrated and this huge urge to kill and take, ask questions later. 

“Arthur _screamed_ ,” Morgana said. “It was delightful to hear.”

Merlin growled and he took a step towards her only for his arms to be caught by two of the men who seemed to have approached him without him realising it. 

“Where is he?” Merlin yelled. Morgana grinned.

“He’s here,” Morgana said. “Hidden from your view so he can watch but can never do anything as I torture you.”

“You coward,” Merlin spat.

“No, no,” Morgana said as her grin sharpened. “If anyone is the coward, it was Uther.”

“I will kill you,” Merlin vowed. “You hurt him. I’ll _kill_ you.”

“Did you know,” Morgana said. “That his magic was fascinating to watch. Once the bond broke—”

“It didn’t break!” Merlin said, struggling. He groaned when one of the men cuffed the back of his head with something strong. Merlin’s vision blackened for a second as he took in deep breaths. 

“But it did,” Morgana said. Merlin stiffened at that. “And his magic lashed. Lashed and almost made everyone burn from how strong his magic was. And in the process, he almost burned himself. I would have let him too, only I wanted to burn him. He couldn’t understand what this huge pain in his head was. What this gaping hole in him was. It was all hilarious to watch how confused and in pain he was. Couldn’t even think straight, poor man.”

“I’ll kill you,” Merlin said. His voice was dark, filled with venom. Morgana laughed.

“No, you won’t,” Morgana said. “You know why? Because I’ll kill you first. I’ve seen the future, Merlin. There’s no way for you to go but down.”

“But you know, I’m not all cruel,” Morgana said and she waved a hand at one of the men. Merlin looked as the cloaking charm was removed and there was Arthur, looking pale and weak. The two men dragged Arthur by his arms. His blue eyes looked dull but when they met Merlin’s, they were filled with confusion. 

“M—Merlin?” Arthur said, his voice weak and quiet. It sent a sharp pang of panic and anger through Merlin as he started struggling again. 

“Let him go,” Merlin snarled. “Let him go!”

“Hush,” Morgana said. She then turned her green eyes on the prince. “You were in my way, Emrys. It’s time you experience what the consequences for going against me are.”

She nodded at the men and Merlin’s heart stopped beating when heard a loud scream coming from Arthur. He looked at him, his eyes widened when he saw one of them men touching Arthur’s head and their magic covering every inch of the King. 

“No,” Merlin said. “No, let him go!”

“Nothing like a little shock therapy to get you to be obedient,” Morgana chirped. 

“You psycho!” Merlin growled. “I will end you!”

“More,” Morgana said to the men and Arthur’s scream rang louder. Merlin could hear the sizzle of their magic and panic thrummed in his veins. He kept on struggling. The more he threatened Morgana, the more painful Arthur’s scream became.

Merlin’s eyes filled with tears. 

“Let him go!” Merlin yelled, voice hoarse. 

“Stop,” Morgana said. The man pulled his hand away and Arthur fainted. He was limp and the men just let him go, dropping Arthur’s body to the floor. Merlin winced as he heard a loud thud. Morgana grabbed Merlin’s chin and made him look into the burning green eyes. He felt sick to his stomach. He wanted to tear those eyes out of her face. “If you want to keep him alive a little while longer then you better do as I say.”

Merlin took in a shuddering breath as Morgana took a step back.

“Kneel before me,” Morgana said. 

Merlin’s eyes widened at the order. Morgana grinned.

“Kneel before me,” she repeated. “And maybe I’ll spare Arthur’s life a little longer.”

“You’ll never be a Queen,” Merlin said. Morgana’s grin widened and he felt dread pooling at the pit of his stomach when she looked at the man torturing Arthur a few seconds ago. 

“Kneel, Merlin,” Morgana said. “Or he’ll die.”

Merlin could see from the corner of his eyes that they were pressing the tip of a sword on Arthur’s back. All it would take to end him was one plunge. Just _one_. Merlin’s heart stopped beating. 

“Don’t,” Merlin whispered as he looked at Morgana. “ _Don’t_.”

“You don’t get to give _me_ any orders!” Morgana yelled then, startling Merlin. “ _Kneel_. Or he dies now.”

“You’ll die if you do this,” Merlin warned. 

Morgana smirked. 

“Do it,” she told the man and Merlin’s eyes widened. 

“No!” Merlin said as he looked at the man. He raised his sword and then brought it down. Just before it touched Arthur’s back, Morgana waved a hand and the man stopped. Merlin’s heart lurched in his chest and his knees weakened when he realised the sword didn’t touch Arthur. 

His heart beat loudly.

His mind blanked.

His ears rung. 

When someone knocked the back of his knees, he fell to the ground, kneeling. He kept his eyes glued on Arthur’s unconscious body and how close the sword had been to plunge through his body and ending him. 

Merlin’s last strand of sanity was becoming thinner and thinner.

And his magic was thumping wilder and wilder against the binds.

“Bow down to me,” Morgana said. 

Merlin gulped as he kept his eyes on Arthur. 

“Bow down to me!” Morgana yelled. 

Still, Merlin continued to look at Arthur. 

A hand grasped his hair and he was forced to look at Morgana with a blank look. He couldn’t register the pain. The only thing he felt was this— _anger_. 

“Bow or I will kill him,” Morgana said. 

“No,” Merlin said. 

Morgana sneered. “Kill him!”

Merlin continued to stare at her. He continued to stare at her. He could hear the swing of the sword as it was lifted. 

And that was when his sanity _snapped_. 

His magic flared to life. 

His anger burned through his skin. Burned through his insides. Burned in his mind and all he could see was her _dead_. His magic bubbled and bubbled, burning but he felt nothing but the want to kill. 

And that was when the block broke. The bond lit up in colours and his magic rushed through his body with vengeance. He didn’t scream through the pain. Even when his magic was angry at everything for hurting his mind, for hurting his lover, he didn’t scream.

Instead, when the sword swung down to plunge, gold strands twisted around the sword and stopped it. Morgana’s eyes widened. Merlin tilted his head to the side, his thoughts all focused on her, focused on killing her. 

He needed her dead.

He needed this. 

“H—How?” Morgana breathed out. 

The man tried to pull the sword but Merlin’s magic caught it. 

“I told you,” Merlin breathed out, his voice dark, so dark. It wasn’t his sanity speaking. 

It was his vengeance, his anger. 

“I told you you’ll die,” Merlin said. 

Morgana roared then as she waved her hand and said, “Get him!”

Merlin’s magic started to spin around him and with a flash of his gold eyes, the two men who held him down were thrown away from him, flying across the hall until they landed on the ground with a loud thud. That stunned everyone, enough time for Merlin to climb back on his feet, emotionless and deadly. 

Morgana growled. 

Her green magic became wild. 

“Get him!” she screamed as she threw her own magic towards Merlin to which was stopped by his shield. 

Merlin took a step towards her, one slow step and the next. Morgana unleashed all of her power, her green eyes widening when Merlin’s magic stopped each and every one of the spells she threw at him, all the while it sent all the men coming at him unconscious. 

He was out of control. 

Nothing could appease this dark appetite of his until he had her blood in his hands. 

Morgana’s green eyes flashed once more and this time, she casted a spell strong enough to crack through his shield, causing Merlin to stop. His eyes were permanently gold, lifeless. 

“ _Finis_ ,” Morgana breathed out. “ _Finis_.”

Merlin watched as her green magic swirled around her, the windows shaking and everything around them cracking. Her hair started to stand, floating about to the wave of her magic as she raised her hands. 

Merlin blinked slowly, unable to feel anything more than anger. His magic was too chaotic. 

And when Morgana’s magic started to swirl around him, slowly closing in him, fighting with his magic, Merlin felt nothing but this coldness in his heart. 

“ _Finis_ ,” Morgana repeated, over and over again as her magic became more and more violent, circling Merlin in closer and closer. 

Merlin closed his eyes. 

His sanity was gone.

He knew he couldn’t get it back. 

Not until he ended this. 

But Morgana was using a dark spell. She was determined to exhaust her magic core to win. To end _everything_. 

And Merlin knew that if her magic touched him, it would crack his magic core. 

But that didn’t mean Merlin was going to just stand her and use dark magic. 

He could too. 

He opened his eyes and glanced over his shoulders to see Arthur stirring a bit. He looked so small. He was a nice man. He loved Merlin for who he was. He got hurt because of something he had no control of. 

No one understood Arthur, to be honest.

Merlin knew Arthur deserved everything. 

And he would _get_ everything. 

Merlin closed his eyes and felt his magic being unhappy. Still oh so _angry_. No sanity to keep them reigned in from lashing out. 

Merlin opened his mouth. 

Before the strands of green magic could brush the nape of his neck, he said in a whisper, staring right into the green eyes, “ _sine fine mortem_.”

Morgana’s eyes widened as horror seeped into them. Merlin knew why she was scared. But he didn’t care. 

Just as he finished saying his spell, his magic flared out, humming loudly in the air, burning brighter and brighter until Merlin had to close his eyes. His skin felt like it was boiling and his insides were caving in. His heart beat loudly and too fast for him to catch his breath. 

He heard a sharp scream in the air as he felt her magic sizzle and cry. 

He continued to listen to the scream and thrashing but he didn’t open his eyes. Because he was burning too. 

He was _burning_ too.

A forbidden spell, a dark spell that would hurt the caster just as much as the person being casted on. 

His mind chanted: _Die die die die die die die die die_ —

His insanity shuddered and groaned, like it was being unhinged from the floors. He dropped to his knees as his magic continued to lash out, killing everything it deemed as an enemy, out of control. 

Merlin took in sharp breaths as his fingertips tingled unpleasantly. His eyes watered, tears ran down his face. 

There were so many screams echoing throughout the castle and he felt himself being roasted, charred to pieces. 

It was a long—long time before his magic so suddenly seeped back into himself. He snapped open his eyes and that was when he screamed, in pain. 

Everything hurt, he couldn’t breathe, he wanted to _die_. He clawed his throat as he fell to the ground on his sides, his body convulsing. His magic core burned bright, cracking but not shattering. His magic kept getting pulled in, in the worst way possible. 

He wasn’t even in control anymore. 

His throat started to become hoarse from the screams of his own voice. 

And he bowed his back upwards when one last strand of magic was forcefully pushed back into his core. His scream died down and his body slumped to the ground on his back. He stared at the ceiling, tears ran down his face. He couldn’t move his body. He couldn’t think but this blankness. 

The anger he felt vanished like it never existed. 

There was a click in his head, like something slotting back into place but he was too numb to even feel it. 

He gasped sharply when he felt hands. He twitched a bit when he saw blue eyes looking at him, tears in those eyes, hands shaking. 

“M—Merlin,” Arthur breathed out. 

Merlin continued to stare at Arthur. His heart was pounding too fast for him to catch his breath. 

His magic core was cracked. 

It was still hurting him, like acid underneath his skin but he couldn’t feel the pain anymore. 

Arthur was safe.

He didn’t know what happened to Morgana but if Arthur was here, touching him and kneeling next to him without worrying about an enemy, it must mean that she was dead. 

Merlin slowly blinked once before he tried to touch Arthur, wincing when his muscles protested. 

He was so tired now. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said but his voice sounded so distant. “Merlin!”

Merlin felt his eyes fluttering close.

“Merlin, no, wake up, what’s wrong?” Arthur continued to speak and Merlin felt like he was lifted onto something soft. He didn’t know. He didn’t care either. 

His mind was so quiet for the first time since a long time. 

He couldn’t feel anything and he liked it. Liked the peace.

Hands roamed his face and body but all he could think about was Arthur being safe. 

He was safe.

Merlin could sleep now.

And blankness wrapped him tight and dragged him under.

 

***

 

Arthur didn’t know what happened. All he could hear were screams of pain echoing in the air and the next second, Merlin collapsed. Morgana burned right in front of his eyes into ashes. Arthur felt Merlin becoming colder and colder in his arms and he was frightened. 

He felt angry at himself for being so weak.

He didn’t know what to do. 

And then Gaius rushed into the throne room, frantic and desperate and casted a spell on Merlin, tried to get him to wake up but he wouldn’t. 

Arthur watched as Gaius did everything he could to wake him up but to avail. Merlin lied like a cold corpse. Only, he was breathing, but very shallowly. 

“Gaius,” Arthur croaked. “Gaius, please…please tell me…”

“He’s…he’s exhausted his magic core,” Gaius said. “And…I…I need to take care of him. Do you have a room for patients?”

“Yes, yes,” Arthur said and didn’t hesitate to help Merlin to get to the room. The knights and sorcerers from Ealdor found him the minute he gently placed Merlin on the bed, Gaius fussing over him. Balthazar’s eyes were wide when they landed on the prince before he looked at him. “I…I don’t know what happened.”

“You need to take care of things out there, Sire,” Gaius said from Merlin’s side. “He’ll be fine. I just need to check on him.”

“I,” Arthur said, a lump forming in his throat. “I need to stay…”

“Sire, please,” Gaius said and something in his voice clued Arthur in that he wasn’t supposed to be here. Not yet. So, Balthazar touched Arthur’s arm and dragged him out. 

“What happened?” Balthazar demanded.

“I…I don’t know,” Arthur said. That was when he realised he could feel Merlin through the bond. When he felt this huge pain like someone slashed his mind into pieces, he couldn’t feel Merlin or the bond anymore. But now, now he could feel him again but—it was so weak.

The bond was so _weak_.

It practically felt like nothing and it scared Arthur. 

He took in a sharp breath, willing himself not to cry. Not now. Not when he had to take care of everything else. 

He hated himself for this. If only he hadn’t been so weak. 

Morgana wanted him.

But she got Merlin instead. 

_Fuck_.

If anything happened to Merlin because of him…Arthur would never forgive himself.

Maybe…maybe the Queen was right. Maybe…Arthur should let him go. He had endangered Merlin. 

God, he had endangered him and now he was about to die.

 

***

 

It had taken a week to neutralise any more threats from Morgana’s battle. It took one week for everything to settle down. It was also one gruesome week since the Queen of Ealdor stormed into Camelot, eyes flashing as tears ran down her face. Arthur had watched as she yelled at him, cursed at him for endangering her only son, for she felt the bond between her son and her break. 

Arthur didn’t deny anything. 

At the end, the Queen had softened and cried and hugged Arthur tight. 

“You’re a good man, Arthur,” the Queen had said. “But he’s my son. And he almost died for you.”

“I love him,” Arthur said. “I would do anything to keep him safe. If it means it’ll be safer for him to leave, then so be it.”

The Queen hadn’t said anything after that, refusing to leave Merlin’s side as she tended to him. 

“You’re not telling me something,” Arthur said one day to Gaius as they waited for Merlin to wake up from this coma he found himself in. Merlin was moved to their bedroom so he could be in a better bed, tended to properly. 

Gaius stiffened. The Queen looked at Gaius, sniffing, her eyes red. 

“Gaius? What is it?” the Queen asked. 

Gaius sighed before he touched Merlin’s forehead, brushing some hair out of his face. 

“I suspect the spell he used to defeat Morgana has also hurt him in the process,” Gaius said. Arthur went rigid at that. 

“What…do you mean?” the Queen asked. 

“He used _sine fine mortem_ , Hunith,” Gaius said, his voice grave. The Queen immediately stood up from the bed, glaring at Gaius. 

“No, no, he fucking didn’t,” the Queen hissed but Gaius shook his head. “Gaius…no, please. Please tell me he didn’t use that spell.”

“He did,” Gaius said. “Hunith…he did.”

“What type of spell is that?” Arthur asked. The Queen held back a sob as she slumped on the bed. 

“Its literal translation is endless death,” Gaius said. “It’s a forbidden dark spell. The one of the ten forbidden dark spells that could evoke pain on the user as well as the person who the spell is casted on. It uses a lot of magic and usually…it’s only used in a situation….in a situation where there’s no coming back.”

Arthur’s heart stopped beating for a second. “What…are you saying the spell is like a death sentence?”

“It’s a dark spell,” Gaius said. “It takes pain for it to give pain. Merlin’s lucky he only got away with his…his magic core cracked.”

“His magic core…cracked,” Arthur repeated, dull. “ _Cracked_.”

“Cracked,” Gaius said. “I…I doubt even when he wakes up he would be able to use magic properly again.”

“No,” Arthur said. “No, that…that couldn’t have happened!”

“I’m sorry,” Gaius said. “I’m sorry.”

“No,” the Queen sobbed. 

“When…When Morgana blocked his magic, he went…insane for a while,” Gaius said, his own eyes watering. “In that moment, all he wanted was to save Arthur and get his magic again. But along the way, because he couldn’t think properly, he probably let his magic control him.”

“He…went insane?” Arthur asked, hollowly.

“When a magic core is dead,” Gaius said. “The sorcerer can become weak, senile and in some cases, insane. It’s rare to become insane but Merlin was a powerful sorcerer—and when his magic was blocked so suddenly and his bond seemed to have died, his mind couldn’t cope.”

“My son,” the Queen took in a shuddering. “He’s only twenty.”

“Will…will he be okay even if his core is cracked?” Arthur asked.

“He’ll be fine,” Gaius assured. “He still has magic. It’s just…his magic will be weaker now. Unable to be used for stronger spells. He shouldn’t overexert it either. Or else…his magic core might crack off completely and die and then he’ll either—”

“ _Stop_ ,” the Queen said. “Just stop.”

“I…,” Arthur choked out, his face becoming pale. Arthur rubbed a hand down his face. Guilt crashed into him and he felt horrible. Merlin shouldn’t have to go through all of this. God, he should have been stronger. He should have kept him safe. Now, Merlin was like this. Merlin was proud of his magic and for him to become one of the weakest wizard—it was all Arthur’s fault. 

“I’m sorry,” Arthur said. “I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”

“It’s…it’s not your fault,” the Queen said, shaking her head. “It’s not. You didn’t know she would come back. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“He’s like that because I wasn’t strong enough to keep him safe!” Arthur exclaimed, grabbing his hair, the urge to cry was strong. “It wasn’t supposed to be his responsibility to keep me safe. I’m older. I’m the one who’s supposed to…”

That was when they heard a rasp coming from the bed, a weak voice saying, “‘not y’r fa’lt.”

“Merlin!” the Queen said as she turned to look at him. Gaius had rushed to him as well but Arthur remained frozen as he stared at the weak man, wincing with every breath. “Merlin, love.”

“Mum?” Merlin rasped. “You’re here…?”

“Honey,” the Queen said as she ran a hand through his dark hair. 

“I need to check him,” Gaius said as he casted a spell over the weak prince. Arthur remained frozen, not doing anything. He didn’t know _what_ to do. There was a huge amount of guilt in him. He couldn’t stay. He couldn’t. He couldn’t face him. 

So he did was he needed to do. 

He ran.

 

***

 

Merlin was getting better. It had been a week since he had woken up and the Queen had to leave because she did have a kingdom to run. She kissed his forehead and smiled on the day she was about to leave. 

“Mum,” Merlin said, looking at her. “You’re not going to make me leave Arthur, right?”

His mother hesitated before she sighed. “No,” she said. “But…do you really want to stay?”

“Mum?” Merlin asked, confused. “Of course I want to stay. He’s my husband. I love him.”

“You almost died, Merlin,” she whispered, her eyes wetting. “Your core cracked. You can never use magic like how you used to. Aren’t you…angry at him?”

“What?” Merlin said. “Mum…he didn’t _do_ this to me. I…I did. Morgana did. Cenred did. And if anyone should be guilty, it’s supposed to be me. I—I wasn’t strong enough to keep him from hurting.”

“Oh love,” his mother said, pressing her lips against his forehead. “Arthur thinks it’s best if you came back with me to Ealdor.”

Merlin stared at her as a lump formed in his throat. His heart stuttered. “W—What?” Merlin asked. “He…he did?”

“He thinks all of this is his fault,” Hunith said. 

“Where is he?” Merlin asked. “Why hasn’t he come to see me?”

The Queen didn’t say anything. Merlin’s eyes filled with tears. 

“Mum, I want to see him,” Merlin said. 

“He’ll come,” his mother assured. “He’ll come. He’s just…having a hard time adjusting to the fact you can’t use magic well and he thinks it’s his fault.”

“It’s not!” Merlin protested. “I…I’m fine. Sure, I can’t use magic well but…as long as he’s with me…I want to see him. And…and if he doesn’t see me today, I’m going to go look for him.”

“Merlin!” his mum said. “You’re in no condition to be walking around!”

“Then, make sure he comes!” Merlin said. “I love him. I want to see him.”

“Alright, alright, shh,” Hunith said as she brushed his hair back from his forehead. “I’ll tell him to come. I promise. I have to go now, love. Are you sure you want to stay?”

“I do,” Merlin said. “I want to stay.”

“Alright,” his mother said. “Alright.”

 

***

 

Merlin was upset with him. He knew Arthur was angry at himself, feeling guilty with himself but it wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t him who did this. It was Merlin himself. He was the one who used the one spell he was told since young not to. He knew the consequences. Everything was fuzzy when he became sane again but he knew for sure that it _wasn’t_ Arthur’s fault. 

Merlin sighed.

He remembered feeling his heart sinking to the pit of his stomach when Gaius told him that his magic core cracked but he—he didn’t feel _that_ upset. He touched their bond. It was weak. But it was there. He could still feel Arthur and he knew it would take time for their bond to get stronger but it would be fine. 

His magic hummed underneath his skin and it was calm. 

It was peaceful. 

His magic didn’t vanish. His magic was there. Just weaker and Merlin thought it was fine. He was healthy, he was mentally healthy, his magic would be fine as long as he didn’t exert it. It was fine. 

“You said you wanted to see me,” Arthur said, startling Merlin from his thoughts. When he looked at him, Merlin realised his blue eyes were dull. They were closed off from emotions. Merlin felt his heart growing cold at that look. 

“Yeah,” Merlin said, quietly. He sat properly among the pillows, adjusting the blankets over him before he patted the bed. “Sit.”

Arthur did, quietly. “What is it?”

“Where have you been?” Merlin asked, his voice cracking from the sadness. “You didn’t even come visit me. Why…didn’t you?”

Merlin looked at him and saw Arthur taking in a deep breath. 

“I…I think,” Arthur said. “I think you should go back to Ealdor.”

Merlin frowned, his eyes filling up with tears. He grasped Arthur’s shirt.

“Look at me,” Merlin said. “Look at me, Arthur.”

Arthur sighed and looked at him. “What is it?”

Merlin searched his face. “You’re asking me to leave you,” Merlin said. “You’re asking me to leave you, Arthur.”

Arthur didn’t even hesitate to say, “Yes, yes that’s what I’m asking you to do.”

Merlin bit his bottom lip. “You want me to leave?”

Arthur didn’t say anything to that. Merlin touched his shoulder and shook him.

“Answer me,” Merlin said, feeling more and more upset. 

“And if I said yes?” Arthur asked, his voice dull. Merlin winced at that, his grip on Arthur’s shoulder tightening. 

“Is it because I’m no longer useful?” Merlin asked, knowing it would make Arthur react. And it did. Arthur turned to look at him, his eyes flared in anger. 

“Don’t you ever say such things like that again,” Arthur gritted out. Merlin shook his head. 

“Then why are you sending me away?” Merlin said. “I thought you loved me!”

“For fuck’s sakes,” Arthur said. He rubbed a hand down his face. “Don’t you see _why_ I have to let you go?”

“No,” Merlin said. “No, I don’t.”

“You almost _died_ , Merlin,” Arthur exclaimed, standing up and pacing. “You almost died because of me.”

“No, it’s not because of you, Arthur,” Merlin said. “I knew the consequences. I did them to myself. Not you!”

“You’re never going to be a powerful sorcerer again, Merlin!” Arthur yelled, startling Merlin. “I took that chance away from you! Because I wasn’t strong enough, because I wasn’t busy keeping you safe—”

Merlin had got out of bed then. He was weak and he toppled towards Arthur when he tried to walk to him. Arthur immediately wrapped an arm around his waist to keep him upright, his jaw clenching tight. 

“You idiot!” Arthur yelled at him. “What the fuck are you trying to do? Die? Why the fuck are you—”

Merlin stopped him by a hand over his mouth. Arthur stilled, looking at him. Merlin then gave him a smile. “Arthur,” Merlin said. “I love you. I wanted to keep you safe. It’s not your fault. Morgana did this to me. I did this to myself. It’s not your fault.”

“If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have to resort to such drastic measures,” Arthur groused, pulling Merlin’s hand away but not letting it go. His eyes were filling up with tears and Merlin saw how guilty the King felt. 

“No, Arthur,” Merlin said. “It isn’t your fault. It’s not your fault. Arthur, please. Don’t send me away.”

“How can you look at me without disgust?” Arthur asked, his voice cracking. “I did this to you.”

“Arthur,” Merlin said, his own eyes watering. “You didn’t do this to me. I did this to myself. I knew the consequences. I did this because I love you. I know you would have done the same thing too, Arthur. Please…please don’t be so guilty. Don’t hate yourself. Don’t, Arthur. It’s fine. I don’t need to be a powerful sorcerer to do my favourite spells. I can still feel you through our bond and we’ll be fine. I love you. Please.”

Arthur choked out a sob. Then, he crushed Merlin into a hug. He buried his face against Merlin’s shoulder. Merlin hugged him back, tucking his nose against Arthur’s neck. 

“Don’t leave me,” Merlin whined. “Don’t leave me. I love you. I can’t be without you, Arthur. Please. I can’t lose you, not now.”

Arthur nodded against him. “If you’re sure,” Arthur said. “If you’re sure you think it’s not my fault—”

Merlin pulled himself away before he crushed his lips against Arthur’s. Arthur kissed him back immediately, tucking him close against the King’s chest. 

“It’s not your fault,” Merlin breathed out. “It’s not!”

Arthur still looked wary and guilty but Merlin would deal with that later if he could just get Arthur to promise he wouldn’t leave him. “Please don’t leave me,” Merlin whispered against his lips. 

“Alright,” Arthur said, hugging Merlin tight. “Alright. God, I almost lost you. I almost lost you. Never again, Merlin. Fuck, don’t ever do something like this again!”

Merlin didn’t promise such thing but this time, it didn’t keep Arthur from demanding the promise out of him. 

“Promise me you will never do something like this again,” Arthur said as he pulled away, looking at Merlin in his eyes. “Promise me or I swear to God I’ll leave.”

“Arthur,” Merlin choked out.

“I will leave, Merlin,” Arthur said, his eyes flashed. “If it means it’ll keep you safe, I’ll…I’ll keep you away from me.”

“No, Arthur, please,” Merlin said as he clawed Arthur’s arm, hooking his fingers against his shirt. “Please. I can’t promise you that. You’re the one I love. I can’t—”

“Promise me you won’t endanger yourself like that ever again,” Arthur said. “Promise me, Merlin. If you want to stay, you—you have to—”

“Arthur,” Merlin said.

“Promise me,” Arthur said, his voice getting desperate. “Please.”

“I promise!” Merlin exclaimed then. “I promise so please Arthur—”

Arthur kissed him again before hugging him tight. “Okay,” Arthur said, hugging the brunet tighter. “Okay, okay, shh, I won’t leave. I’m here for you. We’re fine, we’re fine.”

“Arthur,” Merlin sobbed. “Don’t leave me.”

“I won’t,” Arthur said. “I won’t. I won’t.”

“I love you,” Merlin said. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Arthur breathed out. “I love you.”

 

***

 

Merlin lied on his chest that night as they listened to each other’s heart beat. Arthur ran his fingers through Merlin’s hair. 

“The public have no idea Morgana was here?” Merlin asked. Arthur sighed.

“No, I think she was planning to take over the throne quietly before ambushing the public,” Arthur said. Merlin hummed. Merlin then placed his chin on the blond’s chest to look at him. 

“You’re not still blaming yourself for what happened, are you?” Merlin asked, quietly. Arthur winced and Merlin sighed, pressing his lips on his chest. He knew the guilt would always be there. “It’s not your fault.”

“To be honest,” Arthur said. “There’s always going to be some part of me that feels guilty but…I love you. You promised and you never broke a promise before so, I’ll hold onto that.”

Merlin nodded, solemnly. “That was mean of you to make me promise like that.”

Arthur chuckled. “I learned from my lesson the last time I asked you to promise something and you didn’t do it.”

“It was to keep you safe, Arthur,” Merlin protested but Arthur shushed him. 

“It’s over now,” Arthur said. “I’m sorry for neglecting you for a week. I was just—”

“Arthur, I forgive you, for everything,” Merlin said, smiling against his chest. Arthur hummed. 

“You’re so kind,” Arthur whispered. Merlin shook his head. 

“I’m not,” Merlin said. “I…Did you know I killed people? I stabbed Cenred with my sword.”

Arthur stilled. “How…do you feel?”

“Nothing,” Merlin said. “I felt nothing.”

Arthur pushed him away a bit. “Merlin?”

“I was insane at that time, Arthur,” Merlin said as he looked at Arthur. “I’m fine now, promise.”

“It’s alright to feel bad, you know,” Arthur said. “You’re not used to—”

“Arthur,” Merlin whispered, pressing a hand on his cheek. “I’ve seen war. I’ve hurt people back then too. It’s fine. I’m fine.”

Arthur thinned his lips before he dragged Merlin against his chest again. “If you say so,” Arthur whispered.

Merlin smiled. “I’m sure.”

They remained silent for a while before Arthur said, “When you get strong enough, we’ll go and visit Andrew again.”

Merlin grinned as he pulled up to look at his husband in the eyes. “That’ll be wonderful.”

“Great,” Arthur said, smiling. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Arthur,” Merlin said as he leaned down and kissed him. “I love you so much.”

“Me too,” Arthur agreed.

 


	11. EPILOGUE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: WELL. HERE YOU GUYS GO. THE LAST CHAPTER. I WILL RAMBLE MORE AT THE END BUT--Thank you to those who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story a kudos. All the comments I've received means a lot to me. Go on and read the last chapter! See you guys at the bottom of the page!

**FIVE YEARS LATER**

 

Merlin stared at the council members, eyeing them all down. He will not be intimidated by a bunch of old fools. Fredrik was something to say to me?” Merlin asked, his voice low. Cecil coughed, catching Merlin’s attention. Cecil then nudged his chin towards Fredrik and rolled his eyes, earning a smile from the prince. Merlin removed the smile before the rest of the members saw it. 

“Sire,” Fredrik said when one of the members nudged his rib. “It’s just…”

“Yeah?” Merlin said, leaning against his chair. 

“Andrew is…ten this year, is he not?” Fredrik asked. “Wouldn’t it prudent to decide if there is going to be another…child?”

Merlin blinked. That wasn’t what he was expecting to have pissed off his husband when Arthur stormed into their bedroom after the council meeting yesterday, tossing his shoes to the ground before tackling Merlin on the bed. Not that Merlin was complaining when he recalled what they had done underneath the sheets but Arthur never tackled Merlin before and not while growling under his breath ‘They’re never satisfied’. 

Merlin couldn’t pry it out of him after they made love and when Merlin continued to persist, Arthur had kissed him and told him to ask them instead before they were gone all over again. 

“Ah,” Merlin said, his face reddening. “Another child?”

“Yes,” Fredrik said. “And…we’re wondering if maybe…this time—”

“Hold it,” Merlin said, eyes flashing. “If you’re suggesting what I _think_ you’re suggesting…”

“But sire!” one of the council members said. “We still think a royal blood should be—”

“ _Enough_ ,” Merlin said with a sigh. “Please, just drop this. I’m not going to pawn off my husband to some woman just so he could have a royal blood as an heir. And if we _want_ another child, it’ll be our decision and _not_ yours. Just because I’m not always here since I became King of Ealdor, it doesn’t mean you can try and change Arthur’s mind.”

The council had grown silent. 

“Please, just drop this topic,” Merlin said. “Don’t be stuck in Uther’s way. His way brought nothing but pain.”

“Uther did what he thought was right,” one of them gritted out, offended.

“ _No_ ,” Merlin said, jaw clenching. “He did what he thought would hide his guilt for what he had done. He _murdered_ the Queen. He murdered my _father_. He hated everything including his own self. I will not allow this to happen to Arthur and if you think you have any right to make him do the things he doesn’t want to do, don’t think I’ll just stay silent.”

“Are you threatening us, Sire?” Fredrik sneered.

“No,” Merlin said, his eyes flashed gold. “I’m just warning you lot.”

“We’ll drop it,” one of the newer council members said. “We’ll drop it.”

“Good,” Merlin said with a nod. He stood up before he patted his thighs. “Now, dismissed.”

The council members grumbled as Merlin walked out of the room. He knew they would continue to pester Arthur about a ‘proper’ heir but Merlin swore that if any of this talk reached Andrew’s ears, he wouldn’t hesitate to kick their arses. 

He rubbed the back of his neck as he walked down the hallway, wondering what his little family was doing. A smile lit on his face as he thought about their ten-years-old son, who became the legitimate heir to Camelot and the precious child of theirs four years ago. 

Just like Arthur promised, when Merlin turned twenty-one, they made the decision to adopt Andrew after getting to know him for a year. Andrew had cried when they told him they wanted to keep him as their son. It broke Merlin’s heart to know that Andrew had always wanted parents and that his own parents had abandoned him since childbirth. 

Now, Andrew was a spoilt little boy but he was also the most hard-working and kindest boy in the entire kingdom. Maybe Merlin was biased, either way. 

And coupled with the fact Andrew was actually a magic wielder? It made Merlin’s heart melt when Andrew opened up to Merlin and Arthur on his sixth birthday and told them he had magic, was born with it and that was why his parents had abandoned him. 

“Merlin,” Arthur’s voice echoed throughout the hall. Merlin stopped walking to turn and look at him, grinning when his husband jogged towards him. 

“Hi,” Merlin said. “Finished training?”

“Oh yes,” Arthur said, looking exhausted. Their bond thrummed strong between them and Merlin picked up on the slight traces of happiness and proudness coming from Arthur. Merlin raised his eyebrows at that. 

“You feel really proud of yourself,” Merlin said as he touched Arthur’s face. “Something happened?”

“It took me a while but,” Arthur said as he grabbed Merlin’s hand and started to pull him. “I have to show you something.”

Merlin stumbled on his feet as he laughed at Arthur’s enthusiasm. “Alright, alright,” he said as he allowed Arthur to pull him until they stopped at a rose garden. Merlin’s breath hitched when he recognised this place. He had passed by here in the past years but he never had the time to actually sit here anymore. Now that he was the King of Ealdor, he occasionally left to Ealdor to check up on his Mum who he gave her the permission to continue ruling until he was ready to settle in Ealdor with Arthur. And so, he rarely had time for leisure. He always loved this rose garden. It was his safe haven when things would stress him out.

Arthur stood in the middle of the rose garden, holding Merlin’s hand. 

“Ready?” Arthur said, smiling. Merlin blinked, confused before he nodded. 

Arthur took his other hand and with hands on his palms, Arthur took in a deep breath. 

“Remember the first time I saw you playing with your magic in here?” Arthur asked. Merlin smiled at the memory. 

“You were so mesmerised by it,” Merlin said. 

“I was,” Arthur said, chuckling. “And…and I know that after what happened…you can’t really use that amount of magic without…”

Merlin’s smile dimmed and Arthur tightened his grip on his hands. “Love, it’s fine,” Merlin said. “You know I don’t regret that.”

Arthur nodded. “I know,” he said. “But I still…I still wonder at times if you miss it.”

“I do,” Merlin said with a shrug as he stared at their hands. “But there’s nothing I can do about it, Arthur. And if one day I get the chance to redo everything, I’ll still pick the same choices if it meant you’ll be safe.”

Arthur pulled him close before he pressed his lips against Merlin’s forehead. “I love you,” Arthur said. Merlin’s smile lit up again. 

“I love you too,” Merlin said. “Now, you said you had something to show me.”

“Right,” Arthur said as he took a step back, still holding Merlin’s hands in his own. “Close your eyes.”

Merlin raised his eyebrows at that but he nodded, doing what Arthur asked him to do. There was silence for a while and Merlin shifted his weight from one foot to the next. “Arthur?”

“Shh, just hold on.”

Merlin bit his bottom lip and waited. 

That was when he felt something brushing against the nape of his neck. It sent tingles down his spine and his magic responded. He took in a sharp gasp as his magic seeped out of him and started to dance around him. It wasn’t as strong of a sensation as it used to be but it was there and—

“Open your eyes,” Arthur said. 

Merlin did and his breath got caught in his throat when he saw what was happening.

Purple magic mixed around with his gold, shining bright. His magic seemed to be intertwined with the purple and being brought up in their air. They danced around each other, the purple holding the gold up. There were petals of roses and leaves swirling around the magic and circling Merlin and Arthur. 

Merlin’s eyes became wet. 

His heart raced in his chest when he pulled a hand away from Arthur’s to touch his magic. It hummed and cooed at him and a sob escaped his lips.

“Arthur,” Merlin breathed out. “My…my magic.”

“I wanted you to experience your magic again, what it’s like for you to let it be free,” Arthur said. “And since you can’t do that without completely exhausting your core, I wondered what would happen if my magic helped your magic to float and play? It took me a while to properly let my magic be comfortable enough to just be free but here it is.”

“Thank you,” Merlin said. Arthur pulled him into a hug as Merlin tucked his head against the crook of his neck. “Thank you. It’s been so long since I’ve seen my magic in person like this. They’re happy. I can feel them.”

“It’s the least I can do,” Arthur whispered against his ears. 

Merlin pulled away to touch Arthur’s face. Arthur touched his and rubbed the tears away with his thumbs. “Thank you,” Merlin said again. He then leaned in and kissed Arthur. 

His magic brightened and it scared Merlin momentarily that it was exerting too much energy but then he realised, Arthur was right. His magic was supporting Merlin’s by either absorbing the excess magic or by letting his magic coil around his to be supported, like vines twisting around a pole.

It took Arthur five years to get his magic to a state that he can use it in battle if he ever needed to. He never quite grasped the concept of projecting but now—now when he did, it was beautiful. 

“Do you think Andrew’s magic will be able to be intertwined with ours like this one day?” Merlin asked. 

“Maybe,” Arthur said as he gathered Merlin close against him. “If he wants to bond with us.”

“I hope so,” Merlin hummed. “His blue magic is very pretty. It’ll be beautiful against ours.”

“I can’t believe we have him,” Arthur said with a fond sigh. 

“He’s an amazing boy,” Merlin said. “I’m glad we have him for ourselves.”

“Do you think his parents would look for him?” Arthur asked. Merlin pulled away to look at the worry crease between his husband’s eyebrows. 

“Arthur?” Merlin asked, astonished at where this was coming from. Arthur looked at him. 

“I mean,” Arthur said. “Now that he’s a prince…do you think his parents would come looking for him?”

Merlin shrugged. “Even if they did, I won’t let them take him away. He’s our son. They lost the right to him the second they abandoned him for having magic.”

Arthur smiled at that. He cradled Merlin’s jaw. “You’re right,” he said. “And Andrew doesn’t seem like he’ll want them back either.”

“God, I hope not,” Merlin said. “He means a lot to me. Both of you do. I never thought I’d have my own family.”

“Me too,” Arthur agreed. “I love you both, very much.”

Merlin grinned.

 

***

 

“Papa!” Andrew said as he hurried over to Merlin after his classes were finished. “Papa, look at what I found!”

Merlin raised his eyebrows as he took the book from Andrew. Andrew then latched his fingers around Merlin’s, asking for a hand to hold to which Merlin gave it to him without hesitation. Merlin became confused when he saw the title of the book. 

“Markus got me this book,” Andrew said. 

“Yes, I can see that,” Merlin said, his lips briefly thinning. Markus was a boy who Andrew met during one of the balls. Markus was two years older than Andrew. He was the son of a Duke and had become friendly with Andrew since Andrew was seven years old. 

It wasn’t that Merlin disliked Markus. He was just protective of Andrew. 

And he didn’t like the way Markus would gaze fondly at Andrew and would shower the boy anything Andrew wanted. 

Merlin looked back at the book. His suspicions confirmed that Markus definitely wanted more than friendship with Andrew and he seemed to be…courting him. Merlin felt himself grow ill. He couldn’t imagine his son getting married or having a boyfriend and—no. 

No.

Andrew was only ten.

There was time for that.

Markus was just courting. Maybe it was just a phase.

Maybe Markus will forget about this once he was old enough. 

Merlin clutched the book tight, resisting the urge to frown and go find Arthur to whine.

Arthur, the traitor, thought Markus was a good boy and was cheekily encouraging the twelve-years-old boy to continue on this silly endeavour. Not to mention, Markus’ family was one of the rarest families that made a really good impression on the royal couple.

And yet.

Markus.

And his precious son, Andrew.

The book was a mock to his face. 

“Why did…Markus give you this book, Andrew?” Merlin asked, hiding the uneasiness in his voice. It was a children’s book about magic and sorcerers. It was a book that Merlin had once read when he was Andrew’s age. Markus was a non-magic user. How did he know which book to get? Where did he even get this book?

“Oh,” Andrew said. “I told him I rarely can find adventure books about sorcerers being the hero here and he said he’ll find me one. He got me this!”

“I see,” Merlin said before he looked at his son and smiled, handing the book over to him. “Love…I need to ask you something, alright?”

Andrew looked nervous as he took the book back. “What is it, Papa?” And then he added in panic, “Did I do something wrong?”

Merlin immediately shook his head and kissed the boy’s forehead. “No!” Merlin assured with a grin. “You’re not in trouble.” _Markus might be_ , he added silently in his head. “Just…has Markus…said anything weird to you?”

Andrew furrowed his eyebrows, making his nose scrunch up cutely. Merlin resisted the urge to pinch his cheeks. “Uhm, like what?” Andrew asked, tilting his head to the side a bit. 

“Like,” Merlin said, trying to find the right words in his head. “Like…has he asked you…or talked to you about…liking someone or…?” Really, how was he supposed to ask his ten year old son about whether or not he was aware his best friend seemed to be in love with him and was courting him to make him his husband one day? 

Merlin winced at that. 

Andrew frowned. “Well,” he said. “There has been a time two months back. He asked me if I liked anyone. And I told him girls are gross.”

Merlin cracked an amused smile at that. “Girls are gross, huh?”

Andrew nodded, looking serious. “Emily gave me a kiss on my cheek for saving her cat and it’s gross.”

“I bet it is,” Merlin humoured him. “What about…boys?”

Andrew frowned deeper. “Boys?”

“Yeah,” Merlin said. “Do you find boys…gross?”

Andrew looked so confused. Merlin almost wept at how cute he looked. God, he was so gone for his son. He wished he could bundle him up and keep him protected from the world forever. As creepy as it sounded. He now knew how his mother must have felt to let Merlin go. 

“Why would boys be gross?” Andrew asked. 

Merlin sighed. “I meant,” Merlin said, licking his lips before he stopped. There was no point. Andrew would end up getting too curious and he would ask Markus and—no. Merlin would not allow any kissing happening until Andrew was twenty-one. Or maybe older than that, Merlin hadn’t decided yet. 

“What?” Andrew asked, curious. “Papa?”

“It’s just,” Merlin said. “I’m just wondering if Markus has…told you who he liked, that’s all.”

“Oh,” Andrew said. He became quiet then. Merlin blinked as he looked at his son. Andrew’s face dyed red and he was nervous, judging from how tight he gripped Merlin’s hand. 

“Love?” Merlin said, confused. 

“Markus has told me who he liked,” Andrew said with a nod before he glanced at Merlin and looked to the ground, playing with his feet. “He said he liked me.”

Merlin cleared his throat. “Right,” Merlin said. “And…what did you say?”

“I…,” Andrew said before he shrugged, pursing his lips forward. 

“Andrew,” Merlin said, shaking their hands a bit. “What is it?”

“Please don’t be mad!” Andrew blurted out, his eyes filling up with tears as he clutched the book tight against him. Merlin immediately dragged him into a hug, his heart racing in his chest as millions of unfavourable scenarios flashed in his mind. If Markus did something to hurt his boy, he was going to— “I told him I maybe like him too and Markus asked me if he could court me and I didn’t know what that meant so he explained that it meant that one day we’ll get married and I thought that sounded nice so I agreed.”

“Oh God,” Merlin breathed out. Panic started to thrum through his veins. “Has…has Markus told about him courting you to his parents yet?”

“U—Uhm,” Andrew squeaked as he hugged Merlin tight. “He said he’ll tell them once he turned thirteen.”

That was next year.

Alright.

Merlin could deal with that. Merlin pulled away to look at him properly in his eyes. “Love, you can be honest with me. If you don’t want to see Markus anymore—”

“No!” Andrew wailed. “I like him. I agreed to be courted. Please don’t be mad and make me stay away from Markus.”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Merlin said as he wiped the tears away and pressed his lips against his hair. “Love, calm down, okay? I trust you. I trust you.”

“Markus is a nice person, Papa,” Andrew said. “He treats me kindly.”

“He hasn’t kissed you, right?” Merlin asked. Andrew shook his head.

“That’s still gross to me,” Andrew said. Merlin laughed, a bit relieved. He sighed, hugging him again. “Papa, you’re not mad?”

“No, of course not,” Merlin said. “It’s just…courting means something big, love. And you’re a prince now. He needs to be serious about you if he wants to court you. If he tells his parents, his parents would want to write a contract with us. An agreement that you two will be married when you both turn a certain age.”

“Oh,” Andrew said. “Is that bad?”

“It’s not,” Merlin said. “Unless you think it’s bad.”

“I…I like the idea of being married to him,” Andrew said. “It’s just like you and Father, right?”

“Yeah,” Merlin said, smiling a bit. “Just like your father and I.” Merlin sighed. “I’ll need to talk to your father about this, you know. And then meet Markus because this is serious. This isn’t a child’s game to court someone.”

“I know,” Andrew said. “Markus said the same thing to me. He even gave me time to think before I agreed.”

“Okay,” Merlin said. “I trust you.”

“Thank you, Papa,” Andrew said, smiling. Merlin smiled back. 

His son was growing up too fast for his liking.

 

***

 

Arthur stared at Merlin, opening and closing his mouth. 

“Wait, what?” Arthur exclaimed, eyes widening. “Markus is _what_?”

“Yeah,” Merlin snorted as he sat next to Arthur on the bed, getting under the covers. He yawned before he sighed. Arthur looked pale by the time Merlin glanced at him. “Are you seriously that shocked Markus is courting our son?”

“Yes!” Arthur said as he turned to look at Merlin. “I was just teasing! I didn’t think Markus was serious about courting him! Does he know what this even means?”

“He’s going to tell his parents about it when he turned thirteen apparently,” Merlin said, chewing his bottom lip. “Our son is going to be engaged by the end of next year at this rate to Markus of all people.”

Arthur frowned. “Markus is a good boy,” Arthur said. “But wow. That kid has guts to be courting a prince.”

Merlin chuckled. “Arthur, aren’t you the least worried?”

“Well,” Arthur said. “I think it’s kind of cute.”

“Cute?” Merlin asked, raising an eyebrows. “Markus’ parents are going to storm into the castle demanding an engagement contract sometime next year for our son and Markus’ future marriage and you think that’s cute?”

“I…,” Arthur started. “I never had the chance to court anyone. I didn’t even have the chance to court you, Merlin. I think it’s nice that our son is getting courted at such a young age. And it’s by Markus. That boy knows what he’s doing and he’s a nice boy. Could you believe it he actually asked my permission a few months back? I thought he was kidding and said yes.”

“You…did _what_?” Merlin asked. Arthur rolled his eyes and grabbed Merlin’s arm, tugging him close so that he was squished against his husband’s chest. Merlin only thumped his chest with his hand. “You didn’t even _tell_ me you did that!”

“I didn’t think it was important!” Arthur said. 

Merlin struggled against him and Arthur pushed him on the bed, placing a hand at the other side of his head, trapping him. Merlin frowned at him, glaring at his husband. “You didn’t think that was _important_?” he demanded.

“Aww, honey,” Arthur said as he pressed his lips on Merlin’s forehead. “It’s okay. They’re just courting. It’ll be cute and they’ll be supervised.”

“I…,” Merlin said before he bit his bottom lip, looking at Arthur. “I just think he’s too young, Arthur. He shouldn’t be courted at such a young age. He should be having a normal childhood, liking someone, experiencing things normal boys his age experience.”

Arthur chuckled as he tickled Merlin’s face with his fingers. “Merlin, he’s _our_ son. He’s the Prince and only heir of Camelot. He’s _never_ going to have a normal childhood.”

“I know,” Merlin said. 

“Hey, what is it you’re so scared of?” Arthur asked, furrowing his eyebrows. 

“I…I don’t want to let him go so soon,” Merlin said with a pout. “How are you taking this so easily?”

“I’m not,” Arthur said with a smile. “In fact, I actually want to drag Markus away from Andrew and keep them separated until they turn eighteen or something. But…we have to trust our son. He’s ten, he’s young, yes, but at the same time, we’ll be there for him. He knows that if he ever wants our support, he has it. And also, Markus is well aware if he does anything to upset Andrew, he would find himself in the dungeons faster than he can blink.”

Merlin grinned. “You’re so protective,” Merlin hummed, happy. 

“Well, I’m protective of those who I love,” Arthur said as he caressed Merlin’s cheek. 

“Alright, fine,” Merlin said. “Fine. Fine, we’ll let this go on for a while.”

“We’ll be there for him,” Arthur said. Merlin touched Arthur’s face and caressed his cheeks. 

“Yeah, we will,” Merlin said. “Kiss me?”

Arthur smiled and did just that.

 

***

 

Markus was shifting his weight from one foot to the other while he stood in front of Merlin and Arthur. Andrew was sitting in between them, looking at the table. 

“Sit,” Merlin said as he pointed at the chair in front of the dining table. Markus did just that, taking in a deep breath. “So, I assume you know why we called you here?”

“Yes,” Markus said as he lifted his blue-grey eyes from the table to look at Merlin. “Yes, I…know, Sire.”

“We heard from Andrew,” Merlin said. “That you’re courting him.”

Markus looked a bit pale but Merlin had to give credit to this boy for being brave and determined. “Yes,” Markus said. “I am courting him.”

“Do you know what that means?” Arthur asked, his voice serious. “You do realise that courting is not a simple game to play. Especially when you’re courting the Prince of Camelot.”

Andrew frowned. Merlin knew he disliked that they were interrogating Markus. Merlin simply patted his leg, trying to calm the boy down. 

“Yes,” Markus said. “I know what it means. I…I do like him, quite a lot.”

“But will you continue to like him say ten years down the road?” Merlin asked. “What happens if you realise he is just a passing fancy?”

Markus’ eyes flashed in brief anger. “He is _not_ a passing fancy,” Markus said. Then, he bowed his head a bit. “Sire.”

Arthur chuckled. Merlin rolled his eyes even though there was a smile threatening to cross his lips. 

“Are you absolutely a hundred percent sure?” Arthur asked. “Because we might have to talk to your parents if you’re sure and this will lead to an engagement contract.”

“Does…Andrew not want to marry me when we grow up?” Markus asked, his eyes looking at Andrew. 

“I do!” Andrew protested. “I told you I do.”

“I know,” Markus said. “But…are you sure? I’m…I like you, a lot, Andrew.”

“Markus,” Merlin said, his voice softening. “Do you think you can love Andrew one day?”

Markus didn't even hesitate and said, “Yes, I can. I think I already might.”

Andrew’s face reddened and he gave Markus a shy smile. 

Markus returned the smile with one of his own.

“Alright,” Arthur said with a sigh. “Alright, fine. You have my blessing.”

Merlin chewed his bottom lip. He touched Andrew’s hand and squeezed it. “Alright,” Merlin said, slightly reluctant. “But if you hurt him, Markus, I _swear_ to God—”

“ _Papa_!” Andrew said, grinning. “Markus is a nice person. He’s also my best friend. He won’t hurt me!”

Markus nodded at that, looking serious. “I will _never_ hurt him. He means a lot to me, Sire.”

“Well, that’s good,” Merlin said, sounding overwhelmed. 

“Anyway, can Markus and I go play now?” Andrew asked. “I want to show him this new book Miss Mariam gave me when I last visited her.”

Merlin was about to protest but Arthur had already nodded, pressing his lips on Andrew’s head. Andrew got out of his chair and hurried to Markus, who nodded at Merlin and Arthur once and let Andrew grab his hand and pull him away. 

Once they both disappeared, Merlin slumped against his chair and rubbed both of his hands down his face. Arthur sat next to him before he slung his arm across his shoulders, dragging Merlin close to him. 

“The council is going to have a fit,” Merlin mumbled. Arthur pressed his lips against Merlin’s temple, laughing.

“Oh, that’s one of the reasons why I’ve given my blessing,” Arthur teased. Merlin laughed too, snuggling to Arthur. “What are you thinking?”

“Markus seems so serious about Andrew for a twelve-years-old,” Merlin said. “Do you think he’ll keep his word about loving Andrew? Do you think it’s wise to let them get together?”

“I don’t know,” Arthur said, honestly. “They’re young. But…Markus seems trustworthy. I trust him.”

“Well, if you say so,” Merlin said, smiling a bit when Arthur touched his chin and nudged him to look at the blue eyes. “What?”

Arthur searched his face before he smiled softly. “I think if we met under different circumstances, I would have courted you too.”

Merlin nuzzled his nose against the King’s. “Yeah?” Merlin said. “I would have let you. Maybe I would have been defensive at first but…you have a way to get to my heart.”

“Do I?” Arthur asked, amused. “I like that.”

“You do,” Merlin said. He kissed Arthur briefly. “Thank you for being with me for so long. Thank you for loving me.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said. “I should be the one thanking _you_ for giving me a chance.”

“So, about the topic of another child,” Merlin said. Arthur groaned and Merlin laughed. 

“They can shove that where the sun doesn’t shine,” Arthur grumbled, running his fingers through the dark hair, brushing the strands from Merlin’s face. 

“Well, look who’s becoming more and more vulgar the longer we’re together,” Merlin said. 

“It’s all your fault,” Arthur said. “You somehow bring the rough side out of me.”

Merlin bit his bottom lip. “Do I? I like that.”

“Tease,” Arthur said, his eyes darkening.

“Ah, am I?” Merlin teased. “But really, Arthur. What do you think about another child?”

Arthur hummed. “Yeah, I like that idea,” Arthur said. Merlin nodded. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Arthur,” Merlin said. “I’m glad I agreed to marry you.”

Arthur beamed at that. “I’m glad you agreed to marry me.”

“You kept your promises,” Merlin said. 

Arthur hugged him. “I always will, for you, with you.”

“And I’ll keep mine,” Merlin said before he added. “Kind of.”

“Merlin,” Arthur chided. Merlin chuckled as he placed his forehead on Arthur’s shoulder. 

“I know,” Merlin whispered. 

Arthur pulled away and kissed him. And just like every single time he kissed him, Merlin could feel the love and the affection Arthur poured in them. And when their bond flared with happiness and joy and warmth, Merlin knew as he clutched on Arthur’s hands that he would never let him go. 

“I love you,” Merlin said.

Arthur kissed him again before he said, “I love you too.”

 

**THE END**  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, this has been a fun ride! It was hard for me to write this entire story, if I'm being honest, maybe because I keep on getting and losing muse but now, now I'm finally content with it. What do you guys think about a separate story on Markus and Andrew? I feel like I could write about them as some kind of next-generation!story kind of thing. I've always liked stories like this and then we get to read what their children gets up too. Anyways, that could just be me. 
> 
> Let me know what you guys thought of this epilogue and story. Thank you, to all of you, who have commented so far! They always motivated me to keep on writing. <33 Love you all! Until next time~! -Krystal


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